₦airaland Forum

Mrscarter:
Wow real nice

Sarcasm

InfernoNig:
Gone are the days. One of my guys invited one Facebook girl to visit him from a far place, he went to pick the girl from the park, only for him to discover from distance, the girl is short, ugly n different from her Facebook picture, my guy turned off his phone and went home.

Baddddo

czarr:
If the story is true that big breasted girls are fun and jovial and small breasted girls are bitter and sadist, and if it's also true that short girls are bitter stubborn sadists and tall girls are easy going.

what are we going to call a short small breast girl or a tall big breast girl?

Thank you for reading my intellectual writeup.

Very true.

The bigger the breast, the softer the heart.
I'm serious.

Girls with big breast are kind and gentle. Very sweet, generous and faithful babes.

If u want peace and enjoyment date/marry a tall chocolate skinned girl with wide hips and big breast. Thank me later

But u see those ones with big yansh? Very rude and wicked. Very unfaithful set of girls

.

Usorohtheman:
I stay in Port Harcourt. I had an issue with a lady in the compound I'm staying. She decided to invite her nephew who is a cultist. And when the guy came, he picked up a fight with me. However, we fought. Now, after the fight, he has gone to call more of his colleagues to come attack me.

I had to leave the area, I went to my friend's place to stay and spend the night there in order to cool off. Today, my dad called and he is telling me not to come back to the house for now. He said that the cultists are looking for me.

So please house, what can I do? I can't run from the house.

Something must kill a man.

Tajbol4splend:
How do most of you ladies interpret someone addressing you using any of Mummy or Madam or Ma that you frown at it? To me it's no biggie but most of you don't like it

"Mummy"

Correct guy

Scam

Notatribalist:
That's not love making. That's having sex,just like when you have sex with Olosho,we don't call the at love making.

Most people don't realise there's an infinite difference between knacking and making love.

MrTAnonymous:
In the morning she tapped me nicely, and I opened my eyes and saw her staring at me with love in her eyes, I smiled back and whispered good morning to her. " Good morning, Brian. Your money na N40k "" Oh, thank you. You're too kind ", I replied. 40k for just one night? I don blow be that na.

I thought I was the one being paid until she asked me: "Should I send my account number or you have cash? "


What is your opinion on this?

Better pay up my friend

AlexBells:
Sometimes ago, I was exposed to really loud Noise While Working with some Sound Samples as I'm into music Stuff, after that I got this funny feeling in my ear, it was a little painful.

So I told my girlfriend when she called, honestly she been supportive and all of that but after telling her that I feel a little strange feeling in my ear, after our talks, she called my elder Sister and told her how I'm sick and all of that, that she should check on me cause I been in my room for some times.

After my sister came in my room asking what's wrong with me, it was just a damn noise exposure, she said if I should need medical attention, I said nothing to worry about, but being a kind of private individual I felt so terrible and it all looked like my girlfriend is a snitch.

Long story shot, I picked my phone called her and gave her really stern warning telling her before she discuss my personal issue I told her with my family or anyone else she must get approval from me, well I'm a little hot tempered guy and all I expected was for her to say I'm sorry it won't happen again but she tried to defend her actions, well I'm thankful she's far away and it was over the phone.

I reminded her when she was sick and I was aware, i could have just picked up my phone and call her elder sister, well it snowballed into an outburst but I made myself clear, next time she tried such play on my privacy, it may end terribly.

It a long time gone now but how would you react if it were you.

No matter how hot ur temper is, it cannot boil egg.

Apply wisdom before u end up doing something u forever regret

Smellymouth:
For aba, these shirts na #1,500 each na..

Na so my brodda.

Na so.

WrittyWritter:
Y did ur baby daddy not marry u ..I don't know y most very successful women find it hard to find a husband...my own will not be like dat in Jesus name

Most successful women are neither humble or soft spoken.

They have a boss mentality that they acquired along the way that helped them become successes in their fields/business but they carry this attitude into relationships and marriage and that's the major reason why they remain single.

Finances are another big hurdle.

Imagine Linda Ikeji that owns Bentleys and Range Rover autobiography... owns a house on Banana Island.

Her 2020 estimated net worth is around $40m (just over N15bn naira by today's currency conversion) according to;
https://www.wealthresult.com/entrepreneurship/linda-ikeji-net-worth

A woman almost always marries up. For her, how many men who own/earn more than her are single and younger than her?

SimSify:
Love is indeed a beautiful thing to those that believe.. Know what you want, believe in it and pray.. it is possible to have a good woman.

More than 8years ago I met this damsel and she said yes to date me.
We were quite young, but we believed in each other and we both worked hard for what we wanted.

8 years after..we are still here..

Join us on 5th Dec as we solidify our union in the presence of God.. To a journey of forever..

You are all invited.

Congratulations bro.

You guys look good together.

Treat her right oh...

HML

DaddyRochie1642:
Oga To slap you dey hungry me

One slap is not enuff for this idiott

In 2020, how much should a man be earning in Nigeria before he gets married?

Firstandonly:
My girlfriend is very good in sawing and she has always wanted to have a shop of her own where she can expand. She is still in school and supports her studies from the little sawing she does at home, the truth is she's very hard-working.

Should i take a risk and open a shop for her. I work and i earn 40k a month i can easily save up to 60k from now till January but am scared, I don't want to take a risk i will later regret in life.

Pls has any body faced this kind of situation before or heard of it and how was the outcome?

Go and buy plot of land bro.

If you already have land, carry the money you want to "invest" in ur gf and buy another plot or build house for your parents or buy your Mama and Papa car or take them on a vacation.

Invest in gf ke.

Someone u haven't paid bride price for.

It must surely end in tears.

"Go and Marry Crew" wia una dey?

Food don ready

Congratulations.

HML

.

ahnie:
my questions....
1...Did the Yahoo guy that she stole fuel money from later slept with her?
2....Are you a sex freak?

3...after you were warned not to have sex with her...why do you always have sex with her and the romp days always coincides with your kids birthdays.

4...I noticed from your narrative that you're the clingy and gum gum type.


please be kind enough to answer my questions.

Don't mind this buffon of an OP.

He knows his problem, what is he coming to disturb us for?

BadRadio:
For Classic Nairalanders: Can You Still Remember Movies U've Watch With This?

I only remember 74...

¹Drunken master (Jackie chan), ²toofan, ³Mad, ⁴Arma, arkbar anthony, ⁵No retreat No surrender, ⁶witch doctor, ⁷Delta force (chuck Norris) ⁸Drive (mark Dacascos) Rattle snake (Fransis Duru)


....and more

Some of the movies/ TV shows (in no particular order)
- Mind your language
- Incredible Hulk (starring Lou Ferrino)
- American Ninja 1-4
- Cript Show
- Evil dead
- Hammer House of Horrors
- Zombie's Lake
- Coming to America
- Heman
- Little House on the Prairie
- McGee and Me
- McGyver
- The Golden Child
- TeraHawks
- Thunder birds
- Voltron
- Sesame Street
-The world's greatest bank robbery
- The good, the bad, the ugly
- HeMan
- GoodTimes
- Mixed Blessings....
-Commando
- Rocky
- No retreat no surrender
- Rambo
- Goldfinger (007)
-On her Majesty's secret service (007)
- Octopussy (007)
- Living Daylights (007)
- Kickboxer
- TimeCop
- Back to the future
-Pretty Woman
-Clash of the Titans
- Conan the Barbarian


Indomie generation can never ever understand.

...

Iamtony:
iPhone 7plus my current phone (Bought brand new) battery is a beast no lag whatsoever storage no de gree full (128gb) when i got this phone I understood u should not use iphone 6 Or a worn out iphone with bad battery to judge that iphone has bad battery Or bla bla bla

My iphone 7+ crashed last year wen i tried to update it with iOS 13.

Sold it and bought a Samsung A50.
Android no sweet at all.

Thinking of getting an 11 but to carry money wey fit buy small plot of land to buy phone dey cause me heartburn

Kestolove:
Dr Stacey did you guys run HIV test? His Igbo ex says his hiv positive

Maybe she has it too

.

BadRadio:
I like American ladies. Their manner of verbal expression and neatness. They've got everything. I really want to marry this one. She ticks all the boxes.


What do u think guys.

I have sworn never to marry African ladies, especially those ones from west Africa. They freak me out everytime.



#AmericanWomen all the way!!!


Who is with me?

Black American woman?

God forbid bad ting.

Weird....but I like this competition.
Except the bums shud be limited to female yanshes pls

tiffanyfan:
He said gen is not allowed in his house, and no one dares to flaunt that rule.

Wait oh...

So if Nepa takes light, u all sit in darkness?

Or did ur landlord provide Mikano gen for the compound?

greymiles:
Stress... I love petite babes

Same here.

I like them shapey, but this is too much.

nikkyejike:
the type of change we want from buhari...

This is real transformation...

R u sure it's the same person?

@ StacyO

To answer ur question;

I have a mysteriously uncanny sense of Timing.

- if someone i know crosses my mind, and i feel the urge to speak with them, as soon as i call the person will say they wer just thinking about me or wer about to call me.

- if someone close to me embarks on a journey, a time will come wen i feell the urge to call them. Right at that moment if i call, they will inform me they just arrived their destination

- many times wen i want to buy something rare, for example, a limited edition perfume, if i go, the shop owners will tell me I'm lucky this is the last one they have.
If i feel the urge to go say today to buy it, but i procrastinate, if i go tomorrow, the shop owner will tell me that they sold the last one yesterday.



It's been like this all my life.

At first it used to scare me, but I'm used to it now.

AlexBells:
Guys, Living in Enugu and as a young man who is in active service, I do have my bit of adventures sometimes but I noticed I'm not attracted to professional sex workers.

So many times I had been in the midst of professional sex workers and today being bored I decided to visit one of the nearby hotel and chill out around the swimming pool.

I'm sited with my bottle of Heineken thinking about all the crazy stuff in the world and this particular lady got dancing the normal erotic dance towards my table.

She, wearing just a swimsuit that reveals all the contours; with her body dripping of water as she just came out of the pool, at the very closest range the usual evidence of the subjection of the female gender in liquid, the tip of her mammary gland otherwise known as niple had betrayed the partial enclosure of the massive heritage that lies in there, it was almost a center of attraction until I observed that her buttocks otherwise known as nyash by majority of nairalanders is way darker than the rest of her body.

Then I had to speak to the bottle of beer on my table then a sip and my senses was rebooted now, my observation. If it were a usual lady I would sure had fallen for her, also usual lady won't display her nyash unless she's cought up already in which moment I won't have the time to judge.

I'm not being so critical though, does it look like I'm not attracted to professionals or just the fact that they don't give me that curiosity that is common with regular women. Or is it the hot weather, apparently it is quite hot in Enugu now.

Not only you bro.
Been there.
Done that. Twice.
But my worst sexual experience with any ex gf was better.
I can't seem to dissociate the fact that a girl constantly fvcks random men everyday for cash.
Fear of HIV is real even with high quality condoms.
No romance.
Prostitutes aren't for me.