sameoldguy:


If you like play with them from now till the end of the year, they’ll still prefer their mother to you cos the society have made them believe that women/mothers love the kids more

But which society are you referring to? You are the society your kid is molded after. You the parent has the greatest influence on your kids.
It is much later that he starts picking up the influence of outsiders.
I certainly don't care more about my mother than my father. I am in this society.

:oReading the comments, I have observed that most men have swallowed the falsehood that children are more attached to their mothers than fathers.

The fact is that children are closer to the parent who gives them the most interesting attention and meet their needs.

I chat with my kids all the time, we talk about everything ranging from who they played with at school, names of classmates, who didn't turn up at school, what they think about aliens, how it feels like to travel in space, how we can get 10 packs (my daughter prefers 10 packs to 6).

I buy them books, talk about the books with them, crack jokes, read them bed time stories.

On top of all of these, I am the dude with the ATM and I use it freely.

Mehn, once I am around, my kids do not remember my wife.

But there is a caveat, my kids know in very clear terms, that I am their father, not their friend.

Men should learn to pay more attention to their kids.
But as for preference for mother's, I can assure you that it is false.

Concerning preference for children by some women, men need to understand that before you marry a woman, you should first investigate thoroughly, the relationship between her parents. If it is possible, go visit with them for a few days and sleep over.

Women and men alike, replicate their parental relationships in their marriages.
Never discount what you experienced in a fiancee's home. NEVER!

Ofcourse there are other reasons. But at the very least, eliminate the above reason.

Men marry a smart woman. Make that a priority.
In simple terms, never marry a young lady with the OP's mentality.

The reason is simple, there are times when you won't be financially stable. When that times comes or when you start off your marriage in such a time, you certainly don't need someone like the OP.

Here comes in a smart woman who simply brings in the proverbial 50% (proverbial because the probability of a woman contributing 50% of a homes finances is low).

This implies, of course, that you be smart too. Smart women aren't likely to be attracted to people of low intelligence. So if you were actually calling the OP names, you are quite likely to end up with a lady of OP's mentality.
Name calling certainly isn't smart.

Now my man, don't misunderstand me. Na play we dey play. You understand?
But there is truth in jokes too. You understand?

Which brings me to my last point.
Gentleman, assuming we are all gentlemen here. When you have achieved financial stability, PAY EVERY DIME OF THE BILLS....or nearly every dime. Research has shown that it makes for a happier home and a longer marriage.
And smart people look up what science has to say about important things...like marriage for instance. You understand?
And this research was carried out in first world countries.
I know you knew that, of course Africa has no data of anything.
The information being even do me one kind: So after all the gra gra, women in developed countries prefer more traditional men and marriages last longer when they are more traditional with the man as the provider and the woman as the home maker.

So my guy, the thing is scientific, when you can, pay all the bills or nearly all the bills.

But heed my advice, marry a smart woman...and thank me later

P.S I agree with the instance given in the reply just before mine; assuming you die, assuming your wife has the processor mentality, kasala has stylishly busted...no, make it seriously.
The processor won't get any input to process. And there goes up, in such colorfully abhorrent flames, all the nice life and plans of your surviving family.

PPS. See, this thing is probably genetic. Even if you the man split the house chores and do your part, just so your lady wife can feel good about paying bills, she is likely not going to be very happy about it. Given the choice, she will likely prefer a man who will pay the bills.
Bills are just too much work for women, they just hate them. You see? The thing pass further maths.
Unless you be maths wizard, just pay the bills once you can.

To give you an idea, assuming you are doing well and paying the bills. Then your wife starts doing well enough that her earnings can improve your family's quality of life significantly. You would expect that she will happily do that right? Singing kumbaya with you and having more fun?
Whosai, na kasala dey most likely to burst.
I was wondering if all these researchers dey craze self, dem just Siddon dey manufacture all these yarn?

PPPS Everybody should calm down. Ladies, find that your husband first, as marriageable man scarce like this una head just dey hot dey go when I keep thinking that it should be cooling down.
And men, marry that woman first, you won't be told to work your ass off and pay up so long as you can. The thing works like magic

It is a marriage that has a high probability of failure.
Fact is, women don't like being the breadwinners. There are enough statistics to show that when that happens, the marriage has a high probability of hitting the rocks.
I mean, even if you earn very well as a man but your wife makes enough money to significantly affect your family's quality of life, then there will probably be problem down the line.
Besides unusual circumstances, men seem to resent house hold chores. The more chores a man does, the more likely the marriage is to fail.
And to date, the most lasting marriages are the traditionally incline ones where the man is the bread winner and his wife the homemaker. And i mean this for the advanced nations with marriage stats. (here we don't have stats)
Now the reasons for these are not clear, but the statistics are there for everyone to find.
Ergo a househusband is a dangerous state of affairs; the man very probably resent the position, and the woman very probably will resent the marriage.

If you are a man, work hard to provide for your family. That girlfriend that didn't mind paying part of the expenses will probably not take kindly to the same circumstance as a wife with a baby in her arms.
Things are hard, otherwise i will advice men to not even share bills with their wives because you may find out, unpleasantly, that love is a fleeting emotion, and develop bad memories of times in your marriage that will be difficult to overcome and will shape your relationship for the worse.

GreaterFuture:
Order from AliExpress/Alibaba at 475/$
Minimum of $500 per order.

Drop link, drop shipping address make payment to escrow, then escrow release payment when goods has left warehouse or is beyond order cancellation

Do you still do Alibaba checkout?

kindlyheart:
if UFO was real, there will be sightings here too and not only in white nations.

Bullet trains are real but we don't see them here

Elzazzi:
I will be very short and precise on this one and I really need help. I am in my late 20s and the current relationship I have with my fiance is hitting the rocks because I don't even last up to 10 seconds during sex(yes, it's that bad). We have been together for awhile now, but these days I can really see she is really frustrated at me. Anytime we make love, I end up being ashamed. Please I want someone to help me out a permanent solution. Thanks as I await responses from meaningful NLers.

The easiest solution to this is using a desensitizing spray. I will suggest Procomil.
Do not use a lot of it or you will lose all sensitivity on your blokos

Spray on only a little (over time you will find out what's best for you) on your glans blokos only: the cap of your blokos.

Make sure to clean it off before penetration or it will desensitize your partner too. Ergo spray about 5 mins before the main event.

This will solve your PE immediately . However it has been postulated that there are methods that give permanent results, i don't know how effective they are.

Overtime you will stop being too excited about knacking and gain more control.

One more thing, are you an AK47 or a shotgun? That is, do you chase it down like someone is coming after you or do you take your time?
Be the shotgun, with time you will gain better control. It is certainly better than Ak47 with your bullets running out in 10secs

I have noted one lawyer here who has adviced you professionally, i suggest that you consider his advice.

Concerning the reference to Igbos as troublesome tenants, my opinion of that is that there are strong cultural differences between the Yoruba and Igbos.
We Igbos have a republican, achievement based culture, while Yorubas have a somewhat hierachical, age/bloodline based culture.

This cultural difference, many times, predispose a Yoruba man to consider an Igbo disrespectful, a considerable source of conflict in tenancy arrangements.
The Igbo man is unlikely to be tolerant of the Landlords deeds which he considers an infringement on his rights, irrespective of his age or social standing.
Whether he is right or wrong in considering a matter his right is different. The point is his worldview and consequent action(s)

I think that what is required is a mutual understanding of our differences.

I would rather have my landlord understand that what we have is a business arrangement when i rent his house, not, for instance, a greeting or social arrangement such that disrespect or any such social term should have no reason to occur.

This is not to say that there are no troublesome tenants. But they exist on all sides from all places.

P.S If you are a Yoruba man or anybody from anywhere else and you see an Igbo Landlord who says he doesn't want Igbo tenants, run away from him, he is a bag of trouble. I can take anybody on a bet on this anytime.

Hemanwel:
Good morning dear nairalanders!

I have two daughters: one will be 3 years old later in the year and the other will be 1 next month. I noticed that my first daughter is too timid. She gets easily frightened by her peers. She is quiet. She will allow just anybody to carry her - even those whom she is older and bigger than - without any resistance.

I really don't like these attributes about her. I want her to have the boldness to resist some of these things. I want her to be aggressive. I want her to grow up having confidence in doing things her way.
I also wish to instill that in the second child. Thank you!

If you are not like some Naija fathers who shout at their kids and probably call them names in anger and beat them up now and then without really being clear about why, then let her be. If otherwise, change your style.

If on the other hand, you "baby" her lots, change your style too, she is three but of you treat her like she is grown, she will be confident in her capacity to carry herself.

Then again you must understand that kids come in all colors. Just do your part and leave the rest

MrKennyD:
I'll make this short and snappy - I'm not in the best state of mind right now, so pardon my error(s) (if any).

Good day everyone,

I have been dating my GF for 3 years now; however, in March this year, we had several misunderstandings and she told me we should break up. I went to her place and asked her if she meant what she said, and she replied YES.

I was so down emotionally, and somehow later that day I found myself with a random girl in the neighborhood. We actually made out (with protection tho), and this is looking to be the BIGGEST MISTAKE of my life.

Later that day, I got a call from bae around 7pm and she said she wanted to come over to my place. I was shocked, cos i thought we were never going to come back; well, I actually told her i've had s*x with another girl, and she bursted on the phone - obviously, she was disappointed and angry, but it had happened.

Few days later, she called back and she has forgiven me and we should continue dating again. I was happy that we were back; however, we couldn't see each other until recently. When she came, as usual, we tried making out, but I couldn't get erected before her - I have never experienced such a thing before.

She was angry, saying I still had feeling for the girl I had a fling with; but honestly, I don't have any iota of feeling for that girl (the one i flinged with). This is now causing a serious issue between our two; I don't have an explanation to this, and YES, I still love this girl (my bae).

All the while we've been dating, I had never been with another woman (left for that day after she broke up with me). Please, what could be the cause of this?

PS: I was able to reach the girl (the one I flinged with), and I have pleaded to her to please undo anything she did on me, but she said she's innocent.

I'm planning to visit the hospital, but I'm just scared for no reason - knowing the extent some ladies go with all these kayamata and products being sold on social media.

Please, can anyone help me out please? I still love this my GF, she has done much for me, I've done much for her too - though that's not the main point here.

I already accepted my act as *Cheating* on my GF, but she literally told me she was never coming back to me. Now, both of us are trying to see if there's a way to get me treated without visiting the hospital, since I never had any health challenge(s) to date.

Your contributions are highly welcomed,
Thanks.

Take a few bottles of beer. Loose your inhibition and/or guilt. Frolic with your bae afterwards.

I am almost certain that you will not even remember that you had a prior period of difficulty getting your digger to execute its contract.

If that happens then you have no issues, you will soon be able to finance your contracts in the nearest future, you presently only have anxiety or guilt or some other form of inhibition (all of which can cause and perpetuate erectile dysfunction)

I am assuming that the alcohol will make you loose any anxiety you may have developed.

Thanks @ Trygo

Does anyone know if a Camry 2000 4 cyclinders' tranny is also linked to the differential? This question is specifically to determine if the differential fluid needs to be changed separately or should a transmission fluid replacement serve for both?

Cc radautowork

Camry 2000 started vibrating on deceleration yesterday. Vibration continues even after i start accelerating, then it stops. The vibration stops faster if i do a series of stepping on the gas and taking off my foot....as though something needs to fall into place.
Routine gear oil and brake pads change the day before....and gear oil filter change too
I suspect the gear. But the gear shifts very well up to 5 during acceleration and downshifts smoothly until one is nearly stopping before the vibration starts. If i drive slowly, for instance inside a street, i can brake without any vibration.
Car moves smoothly after starting it both forward and in reverse gear.
Mechanic is confused. After a while, he accused the gear.
Has anyone experienced this?

Cc Gazzuzz

bigfrancis21:


I don’t agree with this. Just because someone changed your life out of his goodwill/good heart doesn’t mean you’re entitled to his money. It doesn’t make sense.

Of course it makes zero sense, but it is politically correct.

It may be that there was no precedent, in this instance, since the man showed some savvy by trying to get her to sign a prenup. If so then I suppose this may go as far as their highest court.

The man though should have read the writing on the wall when he brought a prenup and she refused several times. He did not unfortunately.

But, like in the case of 1million dollars capital base in Ghana where 20-30 men can come together, register a company and retain their shops as branches/subsidiaries, this can be remedied. Never marry without a prenup under any circumstance, never date for more than 2 years 11 months and 29 days.

In time, these laws more than anything else, will help couples understand that the concept of marriage originally had nothing to do with love. Maybe then they will learn to be good partners and act nearly always, only for the benefit of their children.

Jullima:

Watch as they avoid your unbiased post as a plague and continue to delude themselves “western laws favour women” the same laws some men use to get money from their richer female companion.

No need to cry you already know what the laws are, you cannot use a woman to raise your children, use as a companion get her used to a certain lifestyle and discard her like a piece of rubbish when you’re done. If you think no woman deserves your hard earned sweat then don’t bring them into your life and lavish them with gifts, simple. It’s a choice, you can go your own way.

How about she using him to raise her own kids?
And if you read the post, you would notice that there was no indication of who ended the relationship (you had a set of preconceptions which the post did not validate, read it again), and what do you mean by getting used to a lifestyle at the expense of someone else.

The post you quoted mentioned just a few women as comparison to cases of millions of men so I think that it is statistically insignificant.

Whatever the case, I think those laws are counterproductive; it contributed to men losing interest in marriage and will now probably force them to put a time limit on relationships in due time. It has contributed to the breakdown of the basic family structure with very well documented adverse results (which is interesting because if you want to make things so nice for a woman at the same time seriously increasing the chances of adversely affecting 2 maybe 3 or 4 children, then common sense dictates that you stop wanting to make things so nice for 1 person)

All of these are good for Africans though because in due time, these countries will have a small population of youngsters who can work because people are getting married and bearing children less ergo they will need immigrants. So we won't complain (we should though when any attempt is made to bring these laws into our clime)

I think that in time they will rework these laws to make marriage more attractive for men and divorce less attractive for women (marriages get into trouble when the woman is unhappy...the man can bull through as usual).

Nobody will tell them to when the time comes. Probably they will begin by putting real lawyer judges in these family courts (I read somewhere that many never even studied law)

Does anyone know any agent who offers air shipping from Taiwan?

1st July

GTB: 397-$1
Stanbic: 420-$1

Have you noted that the latest ATM/ONLINE rates at Abokifx is that of the previous day?

Post today's rates here for others to consult. Any bank, any card.

Cheers

Please who knows which bank has the best rates today

Write them a letter of complaint against excessive billing and request for reassessment and refund of excess.

State clearly the month from which you want the reassessment done. Photocopy and attach the relevant bills.
Submit at your the Head office of your business unit. Make sure that you make a photocopy of the letter. The recipient at EKEDC will sign that photocopy (it must be signed and stamped)

This is for the sake of fulfilling the NERC requirement. EKEDC will never respond.
Give them the required 15 working days then write to NERC demanding the same thing (with your letter to EKEDC attached and the bills in question. Attach also a calculation of your energy consumption according to the items in your apartment) Submit at NERC Marina.

Note that there is no limit to the timeline of bill review. I have applied for a review of up to a year of bills and got 250k refund as ordered by NERC.

Note also that NERC may take time. Do not be dismayed at all. If push comes to shove, revisit their office and ask about the progress of your petition.
You will definitely get a review and refund.

P.S EKEDC usually have agents on nairaland. They usually attack this sort of response I provided by telling you that NERC does not function.
Please disregard them. Follow the due process and I assure you that you will get a review and refund.
I have petitioned NERC against both EKEDC and IBEDC and got a refund both times. 250k in Lagos and 48k or thereabout in Abeokuta

PPS: I noted your submission that they have acknowledged your complaint. By this I think you mean the SMS one receives after submitting a complaint. Do not be deceived by that. GO TO NERC!

It is not tribal bigotry, (unless it was specifically proven to be so) your parents are doing you a lot of favor. And you need to show them more respect (the ease with which you referred to your mother as a bigot smacks of all these newly minted western values. But guess what, they are an accultural people and 50% of their marriages fail)

Unfortunately when we are young, we don't realize how relevant a lot of things are.
But at least, you can find where it is written and read; marriage across cultures has a higher probability of failing.

At the very least, listen very carefully to what they have to say and think very deeply about it.

This is not the sort of conversation that will be understandable in a country that elected Buhari as President.

That's a joke. However note that it is extremely difficult to gain and practice "financial logic"
People will always justify spending money no matter how illogical.

By the way 20% is way too high. I would peg it at 5% (which I wouldn't apply myself: more like 2% or keep legging it)

If a car constitutes 20% of your net worth then you are losing as much as 2.5% of your net worth annually at least. Not to speak of further loses to that net worth occassioned by funds which will be used to maintain said vehicle that would have better been applied to something more profitable. So in a few years the car will be worth a lot more of your net worth than 20% probably.

In my opinion this topic is extremely important. But our society has been invaded by a pervasive desire to get rich quick and to enjoy quicker, making this a waste of time.

Ladies and gentlemen, do not allow yourself to be cowed by any DISCO.
NERC works, efficiently. What all these DISCOs bank on is your ignorance of that fact and the psychological pulverization they cause by issuing these outlandish bills.

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?

Write a petition to the business manager of the unit covering your area. The letter must clearly state what you want. Specifically request for the review of your bills starting from a specific month.
Give details of your power supply if you can. Just make everything clear so they cannot deny by virtues of ambiguity. Attach all relevant bills.
When you go to submit the letter, make a photocopy. Demand that they sign "received" on the photocopy. Keep that copy intact!
Give the DISCO 15 working days, then write to NERC forum covering your area.

Again be very precise. Ask for a review and refund of excess bills you have been paying. There is not time limit: you can ask for review for 3 years back onwards.
Attach all the bills, the letter you wrote to the DISCO (remember that signed photocopy?) and any other relevant evidence (in my sojourn at NERC Ibadan against IBEDC, I calculated my normal energy consumption based on average power supply and the gadgets in my apartment and attached it to my letter)
NERC will invite you for arbitration with your DISCO. Be prepared, remember you will be arguing against crooks.
In my case the excessive bills was wiped at NERC Ibadan.

For my Lagos apartment, I got a refund of 104k after i wrote for a review and refund of 6 months bill or thereabout.

Note that it is a continuous struggle. Even after NERC has ruled in your favour the DISCO will act reasonable for a while then return to the exhortionist billing (a crook will always be a crook). Dont worry, give it time to make the fight worth your while then start over again, you will get your refund.

How fast NERC attends to your petition depends on the work load. In Lagos, it took almost 5 months, while at Ibadan, it was just 3 weeks.
But both times I got my money either back or debt deleted.

PLEASE SPREAD THIS MESSAGE EVERYWHERE.

WE NEED TO MAKE DISCOS responsible by showing them that they are wasting their time.

Note in the attached bills that in April my bill was 141k (with arrears) by August EKEDC was owing me 14k.
NERC reviewed the bills same April and by the next billing time, which I cannot locate, I had 104k CR. That means I got a refund of about 250k

NERC WORKS!!!
USE NERC PROPERLY!!!

You may disregard anyone who claims otherwise. The person is either a DISCO agent or someone who did not follow due process.

When I return to Abeokuta, I will get the NERCIbadan judgement and post too.

hairyman:
Ladies and gentlemen, do not allow yourself to be cowed by any DISCO.
NERC works, efficiently. What all these DISCOs bank on is your ignorance of that fact and the psychological pulverization they cause by issuing these outlandish bills.

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?

Write a petition to the business manager of the unit covering your area. The letter must clearly state what you want. Specifically request for the review of your bills starting from a specific month.
Give details of your power supply if you can. Just make everything clear so they cannot deny by virtues of ambiguity. Attach all relevant bills.
When you go to submit the letter, make a photocopy. Demand that they sign "received" on the photocopy. Keep that copy intact!
Give the DISCO 15 working days, then write to NERC forum covering your area.

Again be very precise. Ask for a review and refund of excess bills you have been paying. There is not time limit: you can ask for review for 3 years back onwards.
Attach all the bills and any other relevant evidence (in my sojourn at NERC Ibadan against IBEDC, I calculated my normal energy consumption based on average power supply and the gadgets in my apartment and attached it to my letter)
NERC will invite you for arbitration with your DISCO. Be prepared, remember you will be arguing against crooks.
In my case the excessive bills was wiped at NERC Ibadan.

For my Lagos apartment, I got a refund of 104k after i wrote for a review and refund of 6 months bill or thereabout.

Note that it is a continuous struggle. Even after NERC has ruled in your favour the DISCO will act reasonable for a while then return to the exhortionist billing (a crook will always be a crook). Dont worry, give it time to make the fight worth your while then start over again, you will get your refund.

How fast NERC attends to your petition depends on the work load. In Lagos, it took almost 5 months, while at Ibadan, it was just 3 weeks.
But both times I got my money either back or debt deleted.

PLEASE SPREAD THIS MESSAGE EVERYWHERE.

WE NEED TO MAKE DISCOS responsible by showing them that they are wasting their time.

Ladies and gentlemen, do not allow yourself to be cowed by any DISCO.
NERC works, efficiently. What all these DISCOs bank on is your ignorance of that fact and the psychological pulverization they cause by issuing these outlandish bills.

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?

Write a petition to the business manager of the unit covering your area. The letter must clearly state what you want. Specifically request for the review of your bills starting from a specific month.
Give details of your power supply if you can. Just make everything clear so they cannot deny by virtues of ambiguity. Attach all relevant bills.
When you go to submit the letter, make a photocopy. Demand that they sign "received" on the photocopy. Keep that copy intact!
Give the DISCO 15 working days, then write to NERC forum covering your area.

Again be very precise. Ask for a review and refund of excess bills you have been paying. There is not time limit: you can ask for review for 3 years back onwards.
Attach all the bills, the letter you wrote to the DISCO (remember that signed photocopy?) and any other relevant evidence (in my sojourn at NERC Ibadan against IBEDC, I calculated my normal energy consumption based on average power supply and the gadgets in my apartment and attached it to my letter)
NERC will invite you for arbitration with your DISCO. Be prepared, remember you will be arguing against crooks.
In my case the excessive bills was wiped at NERC Ibadan.

For my Lagos apartment, I got a refund of about 250k after i wrote for a review and refund of 6 months bill or thereabout.

Note that it is a continuous struggle. Even after NERC has ruled in your favour the DISCO will act reasonable for a while then return to the exhortionist billing (a crook will always be a crook). Dont worry, give it time to make the fight worth your while then start over again, you will get your refund.

How fast NERC attends to your petition depends on the work load. In Lagos, it took almost 5 months, while at Ibadan, it was just 3 weeks.
But both times I got my money either back or debt deleted.

PLEASE SPREAD THIS MESSAGE EVERYWHERE.

WE NEED TO MAKE DISCOS responsible by showing them that they are wasting their time.

P.S: Thinking about it now, my petition to NERC Lagos took about 3 months to achieve an effect, not 5 months.
I wrote in February 2019 and the issue was resolved before the May bill (April energy consumption) was delivered.
Period reviewed extended from November 2018 (my specific request)

PPS: The extortionist billing started after about 2 months. I have been paying it because it has not been worthwhile petitioning against.
It has been 10 months now and the amount has become worth fighting for so I have begun another process with the submission of the petition to EKEDC.
Counting down to 15 days!

Can I get the Zelda for 10k?

Where can i purchase a nintendo switch dock

Can I purchase a Nintendo switch dock?

Does anyone have an idea where I can purchase a Nintendo Switch dock and the estimated cost?

cybertek:

If mr A sent to Mr B and payment got reversed to Mr A. Whose account got limited?

Mr A. The sender
In all of this however is Mr C who sent Naira to Mr A so he could send to Mr B.
Now Mr A's payment to B was reversed and his account limited. However he refused to refund Mr C

hairyman:
House in the event that a PayPal payment is reversed and the account limited is the payer right in refusing to refund?

Can someone reply to this please

House in the event that a PayPal payment is reversed and the account limited is the payer right in refusing to refund?