solpat:
And people can't eat a quality 2 square meal in their country. African leaders, which way

It is sad! I just pray for this our continent.

EXCLUSIVE: 13Million CFA a Month – That’s the Amount Cameroon Tax Payers Pay for Brenda Biyab

www.nairaland.com/attachments/4053669_20160802192458_jpege70d6fb1f193b7a3544bdbd2939747e4

Cameroon Journal, Washington DC – It is essential that we make this distinction with utmost emphasis and clarity – that though Brenda Biya, teenage daughter of Paul and Chantal Biya is the object of this story, she isn’t by any stretch of imagination, the target of the story. Rather, President Biya and wife, Chantal, are the target that this story sets out to expose to the disenfranchised Cameroonian tax payer. The story is about the recklessness and callousness with which President Biya and wife spends Cameroon’s tax payers’ money on a kid who by virtue of the extravagance with which she spends the money, barely appreciates what money’s worth is.

Come to think about this for a moment! Were the Presidential Palace in Yaounde to be leased or rented would it be worth 13,000.000 (thirteen million) CFA FRS a month? How about the Cameroon Embassy in the US – one of the biggest embassies that Cameroon maintains across the globe? How much rent does the Cameroon Embassy in the US pay on monthly basis? Thirteen million francs still? No one has the answers to these questions except the technocrat insiders. But The Cameroon Journal has learned on good authority that this is the amount of money that is paid for Brenda Biya’s Los Angeles, California mansion on a monthly basis.

According to our informant who opted to remain anonymous, Brenda Biya moved into this house late 2014 after it was advertised for lease. She was looking to being a student at the University of California, Los Angeles, UCLA and needed a house and Chantal Biya – the mother, we gathered, solely approved of this mansion for Brenda.

The gated mansion, sitting on number 505 N. Elm St. Beverly Hills, CA, isn’t just a house or mansion, it’s the equivalent of a warehouse. The only difference is that whereas warehouses are typically used for storing large consignment of inventory, in this case, the only inventory is a teenager called Brenda, the dogs and the friends she invites occasionally.

In size, it measures up to 7,119Sq. Ft. Brenda, turning 19 this month of June lives in the 7,119 Sq. ft. house with no one else but three dogs. The Cameroon Journal gathered that Brenda doesn’t trust her maids and security enough to have them live there full time.


The house is described as a “3-story gated modern estate… with open space for the ultimate entertainer.” Including three fire places.

The description of the mansion as published by its rental agent:

“Newer 3-story gated modern estate. Super high clingstone & open space for the ultimate entertainer. Dramatic architectural 2-story entry leads to glorious public spaces. Amazing center-isle Kitchen, breakfast, & family rooms open to private yard with pool, spa, patio and lawn. Huge master suite with balcony. Fabulous patio, Mrbl Ba/walk-ins. 2 other suites + big office upstairs. Fabulous lower level with 2 extra suites, kitchen, gym, living room.”


Brenda Biya lives here and attends UCLA where her tuition for a year is $60,000.00 – not a big deal. President Biya, The Cameroon Journal gathered, has never been to this house. He’s said not to be fun of the US and Los Angeles though the daughter has been there since 2014. Worse still, Chantal, the First Lady and mother to Brenda has never spent a night at the mansion. You will think that for the amount they pay for it, many, if not all of her official and private stays in Los Angeles would be spent in this house – not the case. Our sources revealed that often, when Chantal is in Los Angeles, she prefers to spend the nights at Four Season Hotel, located at 300 S. Doheny Dr, Los Angeles, CA. She would sometimes have Brenda and her buddy – Mina Eyango, daughter of ace musician, Ndedi Eyango, joining her for a night or two at the hotel.

According to Zillow, a national Real Estate agency in the U.S, the appraised value of the house – that is, if they wanted to buy it outright, stood at $10,199,522 (Ten million, one hundred ninety nine, five hundred and twenty two dollars). But since they were not interested in purchasing it outright, they chose to lease it.

The monthly lease or rent was $26,000.00 (twenty-six thousand dollars). Our source disclosed that because Brenda was new in the US at the time of the lease and had no credit history for pre-approval, the agents for the house demanded that she put down a year’s rents in a holding account to guarantee the landlord will always get his money in a timely manner. Of course Chantal, not Brenda, put down the money. It added up to $312,000.00 (three hundred, twelve thousand dollars). When you convert that amount into CFA FRS, you’re talking about 156,000.000 MCFA FRS. (One hundred and fifty six million francs CFA). In the essence, that is the approximate amount of money that Cameroonian tax payers have to pay for only one of President Biya’s many children’s housing every year.

This amount doesn’t include her feeding, nor does it include her Mercedes-Benz G-Class that would normally sell for over $100,000.00 (one hundred thousand dollars). In CFA FRS, that’s a little over 50million FRS.

The recklessness with which the Biyas fiddle with Cameroonians tax payers’ hard earned money is further illustrated in the children’s penchant for ostentatious and luxurious shopping. Frank, Chantal’s son brought into her marriage with Biya pictured here carrying his latest baby, is wearing


The bracelet and the wrists watch that Frank – not to be mistaking for Frank Biya, but the other Frank that Chantal made a step son to President Biya, cost millions of CFA FRS.
a Juste un Clou bracelet. At the minimum, it sells between $5,000-$9,000. That’s approximately 2.5-4.5million FRS CFA. And the Rolex Sky Dweller Champagne wrists watch he’s wearing? It sells for $37,843.00 (thirty seven thousand, eight hundred and forty three dollars). In CFA francs, that amounts to about 18million francs.


Also seen this cap (in the photo) that Brenda is wearing? It would normally be hand weaved in Africa and sold for peanuts money. That, plus the spectacles she’s wearing sold for $750.00 and $500.00 respectively. And the Fendi burgundy white fur watch? That sold for $16,000.00 (Sixteen thousand dollars). That is about 8million francs CFA.

This is only what we know. There is a lot that we do not know and may never know. But what we also know from our sources is that on May 7, Brenda got very bitter and upset with friends, accusing them of collaborating to steal $20,000.00 from her.

When The Cameroon Journal learned of


The glasses and the cap sold for $500 and $750 respectively.
these excesses for Brenda and others by President Biya, we reached out to her by email for a statement. We could have contacted her by phone (we have her number), but for the fact that she’s been in Europe at a Geneva rehab facility receiving help for her recent breakdowns

The Journal asked Brenda; “We found out that you live at number 505 N. Elm Dr. Beverly Hills, CA, and your monthly rent is $26,000.00 a month. We understand that you are the daughter of the President of Cameroon and you need all the peace and security necessary to do your studies at UCLA. But in your opinion, don’t you think $26,000.00 a month for rent is quite outrageous considering that this is Cameroonians’ tax payers money? We will appreciate any comment/statement from you.”

Brenda never replied. And of course, we were never expecting one from her knowing how much the Biyas treat the press with disdain. However, a reply – sort of, came from an unusual source – the daughter of Prince Ndedi Eyango, Mina Eyango, a very close friend of


Brenda’s Fendi burgundy white fur watch sold for $16,000.00
Brenda. Since Mina wrote to us using the same subject tag we had sent to Brenda, we knew that Brenda forwarded the email she received from us to Mina. In the characteristic ignorance of the teenager that Mina is, she picked up a quarrel with the Cameroon Journal, accusing us of trying to pervert Brenda’s right to enjoy the wealth of her parents.

Mina Eyango wrote demanding to know why we’re in the habit of constantly stalking “an 18 year old girl? Do you think it’s normal to publish articles like this when there are bigger issues occurring in Cameroon every single day?” She asked.

Then she arrogantly ranted in Brenda’s defense; “Tax payers’ money? Every single day you guys say the same thing, she’s using Cameroon’s money for taxis, she is using tax payers money on clothes, she is eating our tax payers money, please get over it- she is the president of Cameroon’s daughter and she was born into that position, her living a wealthy lifestyle was inevitable.” Mina wrote.

She continued; “What do you expect from a President’s daughter? A small apartment in Compton? Everything she does is a problem to everyone. Why is everything she does always such huge attraction? Focus on yourselves, and your careers. Are you a journalist or paparazzi?” She quarreled.


Mina was right, there are bigger issues in Cameroon to deal with than putting so much ink on paper or talking about little Brenda Biya and her follies. And that’s why we stated from the onset that this piece isn’t about her but about the recklessness and callousness of her parents who happen to be eternal leaders of Cameroon.

Issues like the horrible road network that President Biya has presided over for over three decades. Issues like the fraud and corruption that has become a characteristic feature of President Biya’s 34 years regime. Issues like Biya’s inability to provide jobs for the youth of Cameroon. Issues like the need to get rid of a regime that survives through clamping down on the opposition and discouraging dissent. Issues like the lack of affordable medical care for Cameroonians. In fact, if President Biya was sane and conscientious, taking care of these issues, there did be no way he spends such an amount of money every month on the teenager called Brenda Biya. And that is what Mina Eyango and all the others who see nothing wrong in that and who are surely benefiting from the extravaganza, never perceive there is absolutely something wrong with it.

A day after she voluntarily sent this email to us, Mina Eyango threatened The Cameroon Journal with a law suit should we dare quote or mention her name in this story. We note here that the $400 taxi fracas that Brenda had with a cap driver took place as Brenda was returning from Mina’s house. And the fact that Brenda would pass nights in the hotel with Mina at the invitation of Chantal and also forward her emails to Mina is indicative of how close they both are. So for Mina to come up with such a ferocious defense of the spending on her friend is understandable.

However, this story is about the recklessness of President Biya and the wife. Their children of course, deserve the best housing and education that money can afford. It isn’t Brenda’s fault she was born the President’s daughter. But there ought to be some form of restrain when it comes to spending for children of a leader of an impoverished country like Cameroon.

Consider that in Cameroon, civil servants, especially teachers graduating from Teachers Training colleges teas Training colleges teach for three years without salary. Consider that here in Washington DC, Cameroon Embassy staff go for months without pay. Consider that the same Embassy has a structure of its own that the Cameroon gov’t has not been able to finance to completion for years running.


Consider the fact that in Cameroon, people die because of inaccessibility to doctors or medical care. Consider the Cameroon Army that has to literally stage revolts before they are paid for defending the country. Yet, $26,000.00 is being paid out at the same time every month for the house of the President’s teenage daughter, and she lives in it with dogs. Doesn’t this suggest that dogs deserve better than the hard working tax paying Cameroonian?

Just imagine for a moment if any cabinet minister in the country was caught spending such outrageous amounts of money for the house of his/her 19year old, won’t an inquest be launched for him by the Special Criminal Court in Yaounde and perhaps get him ultimately landed in Kondengui?

The money that is spent on Brenda Biya isn’t President Biya’s money. He will not spend his own pocket money or pay check that recklessly – he’s not that stupid. That money is Cameroon tax payers’ money and that is the more reason why a regime change remains inevitable in Cameroon.

Brenda Biya deserves a $5,000.00 house and a $40,000.00 modest car, not a $26,000.00 warehouse and not a $100,000.00 car. It’s an insult to the suffering Cameroonian youth who has no job and no future for no fault of his own.

Source: http://www.cameroonjournal.com/national-news/exclusive-13million-cfa-a-month-thats-the-amount-cameroon-tax-payers-pay-for-brenda-biyas-california-mansion/

MRBrownJ:


nah, IMHO both guys should be blamed....
- Eto'o for giving such scandal the exposure it did, instead of just dropping and forgetting this h0e (and the watch she kept)
- Fally, for openly dating his buddy's former cuum dump, which was confirmed Eto'o used her for 0rgies, and released her nekkid pics to the media.

how can you blame a LovePeddler for doing exactly what whores do?

No! What is sad is that they are both married. They should have never been cheating in the first place.

nonjebose:
See news. Fighting over mistress. Their lives

Looooool!

Looks like Fally Ipupa and Samuel Eto’o have ended their beef.

Eto’o, who is in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo, to attend a basketball camp organized by NBA star, Serge Ibaka, was photographed with Ipupa as well.

As you all recall, the African superstars had a huge fall out when Ipupa was accused of sleeping with Eto’o’s mistress, Nathalie Koah.

Koah also suspected the Cameroonian football star of leaking her nude photos because he was jealous of her relationship with the Congolese singer.

During the entire ordeal, Ipupa denied having any issues with Eto’o. However, trouble in their friendship became evident as the former close friends became distant.

It’s great to see that they have decided to put their differences aside.

Source: http://joieent.com/photos-samuel-etoo-fally-ipupa-friends-fall-mistress/

This is very sad and hateful. The person running the account has to be white. Maybe a white man who loves black women.

Nathalie Koah, the ex-mistress of Cameroonian football star, Samuel Eto’o, is planning on releasing a book about their relationship.

Koah made headlines a year and a half ago when she accused the player of exposing her nude photos on the web out of jealousy of her friendship with Congolese star, Fally Ipupa.

The book, called “Revenge Porn,” will cover the 28-year old’s affair with Eto’o.

In an interview, she mentioned that the football star enjoyed having threesomes, while explaining some of the explicit details that will be included in the book.

She also talked a out the very few times Eto’o threatened to harm her physically, and described him as being bipolar.

The Antalyaspor star has since rekindled his relationship with wife, Georgette Eto’o.

A release date for the book has yet to be announced.

Source: http://joieent.com/nathalie-koah-to-release-tell-all-about-affair-with-samuel-etoo/

A Nigerian couple in Calagary may be forced to leave the country because their baby was born in the U.S while their immigration documents were being processed, according to a report by CBC.
Dimeji and Deborah Tawose, who are both medical radiographers, arrived in Calgary under the federal skilled worker program. However, the birth of their youngest child leaves the family’s status in Canada in Jeopardy.

According to the report, the couple applied to immigrate to Canada in 2013, while they were living in the United Arab Emirates.

The family took a pre-planned vacation to Houston, Texas, where eight-month old Inioluwa Tawose was born.

The Tawoses claim that they advised the Canadian immigration of their newest bundle of joy, and were shocked when they returned to Abu Dabhi only to find four Canadian visas.

Dimeji told reporters that they contacted the Canadian Embassy in London and UAE about the missing visa, but never received a response.

After waiting for nearly a year and a half, fearing that their Canadian visas would expire, the family decided to take matters into their own hands.

Without a Canadian visa for their youngest son, the couple decided to leave UAE for Canada.

Upon their arrival in Canada on July 12, they were informed by immigration officers that their entry in the country had been denied because Inioluwa did not possesss a Nigerian passport like the rest of the family.

The couple chose to migrate to Canada for the sake of their children’s future, a decision which they say they now regret.

Source: afri-culture.com

hurricaneChris:


brother, at bolded part in no4; Did u just recommend a 5-star hostel for a low key romantic outing? hahahahahaha. very ironic!

no5; u mean as he comes back from work immediately? Imagine me coming back from site around 6pm and a lady offers that as a romantic gesture! WTF.

anyway, i might agree with others

Well her surprising you in a sexy attire when you get home from work keeps the fire alive and helps you take your mind off your stressful day!

Ladies,

I didn't mean meet your man at the door completely naked. Wear sexy robe with nothing inside. Take him to the room and rock his world. Then give him a hot plate of his favorite food.

Hi Dear,

Welcome ooo!

Nairalanders can be a bit harsh, so just be prepared.

But to answer your question:

Does it really matter if his family doesn't accept/like you? His love for you is all that counts.

If the man you end up marrying loves you with all of his heart, you have nothing to worry about because he will never let his family abuse you.

uj_sizzle: Unclad at the door.....in Nigeria

Why not?

Not just completely naked. You are wearing a robe with nothing inside shaa

Uwakuwak: Some men are careless, after sex they sleep as if they fall from iroko tree giving a woman chance to carry out evil agenda. Such men are here
my advice if u cannot remove the condom ur self dont go for sex. Thanks

LOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Temptee101: Nigerians girls dnt have time for all you listed above except for number 5. They would prefer u give them physical cash. Moreover all you mentioned still boils down to spending money. To spend quality time with a girl either by shopping together or taking her out; u need money. Taking a girl to a 5star hotel for vacation; u stil require money. To make a decent dinner; u also need money. So my dear, in all money is still the major thing.

WELL, read the title of my article again. I didn't say you won't spend any money..I said you won't spend a lot of money.

nutarious: very funny @ op, But its a big lie, sperms cant be stored in a freezer, a spermatozoa has a particular temp not more not less. many times we men our sperm gets destroyed and replaced by our body. we have up to millions of spermatozoa in a sperm, its not true that they can be stored in the freezer. in the hospital where artificial insemination is carried out therre is a special machine with a constant temp for storing sperms. even in america there is sperm banks. Basically u cant store sperms in ur freezer

Why are you calling me a liar? This is what I am being told. I even stated, I don't know if it works, but women are doing it. FACT is women are doing it. They are stealing sperm. End of story.

Yahoo1: Where are you based?....Nigeria?

I'm at an undisclosed location.

dasparrow: @Post

Really? Its in Nigeria that some ladies might be doing that. In America and other advanced nations, you have something called a sp*er*m bank. Men voluntarily donate their s*per*m at the sp*er*m bank. Women can go there and get sp*er*m - I think for a fee - and then go to a doctor and have their eggs fertilized with the sp*er*m. Very straight forward process if you ask me and not this bush method of first having sex with the man -who knows what diseases he is harboring inside of him - and then using a turkey baster to pull the sp*er*m out of the condom and then inserting the turkey baster up her vargina. I mean, seriously? we have a long way to go in Nigeria.

Don't be mistaken, sperm stealing is highly popular in the West as well. Sperm banks aren't exactly cheap. Stealing sperm is easier and cost effective for many woman.

kulyie: that is just one in 5,000 cases and in her own case a high level of desperation has set in.she thinks since shes not lucky with men,let her kuku just acept her fate and have a child.at least that will console her

I'm a relationship counselor. I know what I'm saying when I tell you it's happening a lot more than you can think/imagine.

Men aren't rushing to the altar as they were doing 10 plus years ago. With the divorce rates skyrocketing, people are not confident in marriage anymore.

Some women are having children out of wedlock with their boyfriends, but the ones who can't seem to find the "right man" have to find other alternatives.

kulyie: its more common in the u.k as a matter of fact,the lady that i said is into that issh is in the u.k.i think it happens in naija too but still at a low degree and more among 1st class prostitutes

It's NOT something just prostitutes do. It's becoming common for all women who don't think they will find the right man in time to have children.

Women aren't like men. When it comes to having children, we have a biological clock. A man can become a father at any age.

As I mentioned earlier, I know a lady who tried to do it, but her bf caught her. She is no prostitute. She's a good woman with a promising career. However, she's 33 and keeps going from one failed relationship to another. She wants kids.

born_to_be_gr8t: For all ur ridiculous news sign up on "HisRibs" thread.

What ridiculous news?

tchidi: Make I understand this story....
They freeze it, and when they need it finally, they thaw it and do what? Inject it? Mix it with tea and drink? Take it to a hospital so they can be artificially inseminated?? If they carry sperm to d hospital, won't they be questioned? No vex oº°˚! Put a sister through, cos I don't understand...

Okay, let me explain it.

After sex, they use a turkey baster to take the sperm from the condom, put it in a container and store it in the freezer at their home.

Whenever they are ready to have children, they just take the sperm and insert it into their vagina. I don't know if the method works, but I am just hearing that lots of women are now doing it.

This is a turkey baster:

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be a multi-millionaire in Africa? Kenny Kunene, a South African businessman and socialite is no stranger to that life.



His claim to riches isn't quite what one would envision. He started off his career saving the R22/month he earned during his time in prison for scam and robbery. While in confinement, the former convict was able to save up to R3000. Subsequent to his release in 2003, he refused to participate in more criminal activities. In 2004, he began to sell refurbished desks and stationery to schools to earn more cash.

Later that year, he used several of his old contacts to arrange discounts on equipment for a friend who was opening up a nightclub, and earned a stake in the business.



In fall of 2005, he accepted a job offer as a Life Orientation and English teacher at Calculus Secondary School in Bloemfontein, earning R3000 a month. In 2006, with less than R10, 000 in his bank account, he struck a deal with Gayton McKenzie to form X Concepts Publishing, in order to promote and sell McKenzie’s prison biography. The duo later began a fish company with four trucks and a refrigerated warehouse, which they later sold for profit.

Kenny Kunene became prosperous in 2007, selling tickets to McKenzie’s motivational conferences to companies for large amounts of money, and advising people on their home security for a small fee. A portion of the money they acquired from the book sales was used to invest into a mine consultancy business. Benefactor Greg James’ company, CRG, recruited Kunene on a large contractor’s salary.



In February 2008, he was appointed Senior Manager of Community Relations at CRG. Today Kunene is an owner of a multimillion dollar home and several exotic cars.

Source: http://afri-culture.com/from-rags-to-riches-south-african-multi-millionaire-kenny-kunene-shows-his-lavish-lifestyle/

------

Good for him. It's great to see a former criminal turn his life around. He seems like an intelligent man.

snthesis: @op,
doesnt make sense- hw do u steal sperm? at gunpoint or wat?

They steal it from the condom after sex. So, men make sure you flush your condom down the toilet after sex.

-Mr Cork-:


...Sweery..so how much do they sell the spermm?

I don't know.

There's been an ongoing trend where unmarried women steal the sperm of man (men) they've slept with and freeze it. Just in case they need it when they are ready to have kids, but can't seem to find a good partner.

I thought this was a joke until a woman I recently counseled told me she tried to do it, but got caught.

I have noticed, both young men and women aren't interested in marriage as they once were. Instead, they prefer staying bf/g. Some women have embraced their careers and ignored the idea of marriage. Could it be because divorce rates continue to rise? Or times have changed?



***Update:***

Let me explain how it is stolen:


After sex, they use a turkey baster to take the sperm from the condom, put it in a container and store it in the freezer at their home.

Whenever they are ready to have children, they just take the sperm and insert it into their womanliness. I don't know if the method works, but I am just hearing that lots of women are now doing it.

This is a turkey baster:
[img]http://faculty.ccp.edu/faculty/dreed/campingart/jettatech/bleeder/ist2_1078991_turkey_baster.jpg[/img]

For those of you asking how this can happen without the man knowing:

The woman takes the condom after sex and pulls the sperm out with the turkey baster. This is happening and has been happening for quite some times. For those of you asking for proof (source), I can't provide that because I got this info based on my clients and speaking with other relationship/marriage counselors. They, too, have encountered women who have confessed to doing this.

My advice to men is: make sure you dispose your condom by yourself, otherwise you are in trouble.

Anyways, my questions here are for men:

Would it really bother you if a woman steals your sperm?


Why have you lost interest in marriage?

Thanks.

Hi Guys!

I'm very busy today & won't be able to answer your questions. But as soon as I have some free time, I will jump right into it.

X0x0x

otikpoko:

Still waiting for your reply...

Sorry, I missed your post.

I believe it's normal to date without having any arguments. Although it's not very common, it's very possible. I know many couples who rarely have arguments. It all depends of the personality each individual carries. That's what causes the clash in relationships.

Another thing that creates a lot of problems is communication. If two people communicate well, there are rarely ever any issues.

lorretta u: Might be a generalization,but has anyone else noticed such too?
I wonder if there's anything wrong with Nigerian women abroad. The men keep trooping home to marry.Many ladies I know who got married recently married men that came from abroad.
I asked one ersthwhile suitor why he wanted to marry me even though he didn't know me well enough. He said:
''no matter how you are,as long as you were raised in a Nigerian home,you can't be as bad as the girls over here. You need to see what they are doing. None of them is wife material. They can't cook, disrespectful, wild, unsubmissive , bla bla bla.''

That's unfair!
Imagine being on the phone with my girlfriend that lives in UK next thing she says:
'LoLo I'm coming back finally'
And I'm like
'why?'
Hmm- she exhales
'There are no husbands here. I'll come back when I'm married'
is it that bad?
Guys abroad over to you. What's your complaint? Let's settle this matter once and for all

The ones I know wouldn't marry a girl back home. It all depends on the guy.

oshyno:

Walahi it helped.

I went 2days without calling. When she called I wud tell her I will call her back n neva did. Guess what, when I now called she told me instanta dat she wants to date me . But something didn't feel right to me. She told me dat she doesn't know if its because xmas is around d corner , dat all d guyz wanting t date her hv gone awol.nowhere to be found. And she said n me too started withdrawing and she felt she was loosing me. Am like nonono somethiin doesn't feel right. Hw u see am.

I am glad it helped! Please continue to give her very little attention.

She has decided to give you attention because all of her toasters have now disappeared? Listen dear, you need to start going on dates with other girls and forget about this one. She's not a serious girl.

I imagine you are now feeling better?

Amy Mar'ins:
I so luv dis thread!

@op, i pray for Solomon's wisdom on u IJN!

Why is life so unfair?! Guys dont apprec8 good gurls and also the oda way round.

@OP, i have a nonchallant attitude n dis has kept my heart safe. But its affected my relationships( not in 1@ d moment). I really want to be vulnerable again; ♓☺w do i start?

2ndly, A̶̲̥̅♏‎​ loosing d interest in wanting to date again. My mind has been on my career; A̶̲̥̅♏‎​ i ok?

3rdly, a friend was arguing with me dat its possible to win a guy's heart, dat has got girls begging for his attention. I just told her i had no time, "working" on being the "one". But is it possible? ♓☺w do gurls "dust" others n b d ONLY one? I just feel a cheat will always be a cheat.

Hi Dear,

Why has caused you to have a nonchalant attitude? Have you been through a few heartbreaks?

I wouldn't recommend being vulnerable. I say try to become neutral again. Not all men are players, dogs and cheats. Is it possible that your man might make a mistake and cheat on you? Yes, that's very possible. But, as long as it was a one time mistake, you should have nothing to be concerned about.

When you decide to get into a relationship again, just be neutral, don't show too much or too little emotion. Just be neutral! Especially during the beginning stage of the relationship -- the stage when you are still trying to get to know the person.
Open up, but don't open up too much. Once you have a good idea of what kind of person you're dealing with, and you are confident he's a good man, you can start opening up more and showing more emotions.

The best way to stop being nonchalant is by simply changing the way you view men and relationships. Change your thoughts. It all starts in the head. Be understanding of the fact that in life you're going to go through rough stages. You are not the first nor the last person to deal with a heartbreak. These things happen everyday. And it's a risk you have to take when you're on a quest for love. Everything comes with a price, right? You're going to go through bad guys, and then you will finally meet the good ones.

When a person has been through many failed relationships, it's normal that they lose interest in dating. They are afraid it will fail just like the rest. It's great that you are focused on your career, but I would recommend making some time for dating. Be open to meeting new guys and be open to going on dates. The right man is just not going to fall from the sky into your laps. You have to be willing to put yourself out there, so that the man of your dreams can see you.

It is possible to win a guy's heart over many other girls. The best way to do it is by being able to offer him something all those girls can't. I always recommend offering friendship. At the end of the day, that's what is going to set you apart from other women. You have a bond with him that is strong. Your partner should always be someone you consider a friend before anything else. He should be able to feel safe, happy, encouraged and inspired around you. Most women are too focused on giving sex, while sex is great, it's not the thing that will keep him around for a long time. It's not the thing that will make him come home to you every night. He's going to be happy coming home to a woman who genuinely makes him happy.

bigW: Plz I sent u my comment to ur mail,I avent seen any reply,nd am sorry it was so long,plz wuld b hapi if u can advise me thru my mail....tanks in advance

Ok will respond shortly.

Bryt B: Tnx alot 4 d advise dear.u re gud.hw long do u think d break shld be? Cos we ve stayed a mnth without her calling me,i said her 'cos she has bn d one callin thru out dis yr,i pick her calls 2 show i 4gave nd 2 free my mind aswel.i dnt call her esp.dis yr.yet she kept callin almost evry day. we ve seen once dis yr dats 10mnths ago.we might see durin xmas to let her knw my mind.

Take a break that is as long as you feel necessary! It's all up to you. Just make sure you have enough time to clearn your head and live your life in order to regain your confidence and self esteem.