₦airaland Forum

I'm not frustratated, I am anything but
u knw nothin about me so calling me names is quite rude and uncalled for. . .

I'm having a good rant, thats all

richo:
poor frustrated lady u need to meet a real man already

frustrated u say?

lol, dude u have no idea

First things I must warn that I am going to do some major generalising. ,   can’t be helped because I hav met a few guys with this problem as well as heard a number of complaints from friends and acquaintances.

It is well known and accepted the women’s PMS make them act crazy, most of us accept this and find no shame in this. I’ve got news for u, men also have periods and suffer from PMS. . . how else r we to explain their crazy and senseless behaviour sometimes (they too can't explain it if u ask). What I find most irritating is that you're friends with a guy (sometimes, a relationship is the last thing on your mind), u guys hang out and talk all the time. He calls regularly, can't get enough of talking to u and hanging out with u. . . then he goes cold turkey, no communication whatsoever, starts avoiding u even, dosnttake ur calls, no reply to messages. . . Rather than stress too much, I move on accepting the ride has come to an end. . .  What pisses me off is that the bastards come back after they’ve had their fill, acting like nothing happened and expecting to carry on from where you stopped.

Dude, u just don’t cut a sista off without explanation and expect to be forgiven when you're done menstruating. . . the sad part is the bastards don’t even accept the fact that that kind of behaviour is not civilised. The least u cld do is give a sister some warning and we will go off and get a pedicure or something. Another thing is their silly and childish rants about nothing whatsoever, after hours of sulking, they snap out of it and expects things to go back to normal.

“How come u don’t love me the way u used to?” sweety i don't love u differently, you're just acting crazy right now

“why are u still friends with that person?” that person happens to be your cousin and u introduced us, just because u don't like her right now doesnt mean i should stop being friends with her, u'll like her again tomorrow


“who is that guy and why is he looking at u that way?” i don't knw that guy and he's proabably lookin at me that way because i look stunning, take a second look and see for yourself

I‘ve had to deal with this kind of behaviour from boyfriends, friends and my brother. I’m just sick of it quite frankly. . . u guys claim to be masters of the universe, well try acting like it!

haba jenny, i've missed u oh

@ mesmya

u still dont get it. . .

sex and good cooking is important

but if u r a bore, there is no way ur husband will stay. . . all that crap about a guy staying becos he can see u r trying is just lying to urself.
lts face it, if he has a heart he will stay but not for long. ,  sooner or later someone who tickles his mind and gives him a healthy challenge will come along. . . then say goodbye to his consience because despit d sex and food he'll go where he feels alive

mesmya:
that highlighted statememnt is offkey

sweetheart i get u i really do,but you're going to a diff direction entirely now

listen sex is like a bond,that connects people together,y do u think most men divorce their wives this days?is it not because of sexual starvation or sexual weakness

there is no doubt that sex goes a long way in a relationship especially them married ones

wats being interestng if u aint good in your sexual act or skills?sex is d only thing that can bring a couple together,sex is sthg that makes them couples loose focus a little abit on sm certain things

now ket me go to them married:wats being interesting when a woman can't satisfy her husband sexually and in the food aspect?this is simple logic

im happily married,i did not marry my husband because of sex,but i tell u that ive been in d system for long andi can tell u that sex and food go a long way in a mans life,their friendship will continue to appreciate except the man does not love his wife

98% of men that go outside do this because of poor cooking or poor sexual life

i assumed u were a guy. . . i apologise

i'm basically saying sex and food isnt the factor that maks a man fall in love with you. . . d key factor here is that he lovs u!

he wont love u becos u can shag or know how to cook. . . many girls out there can cook and shag but r still single. sex and food r important i agree but I absoutely insist that isnt the way to a man's heart.

a guy no matter how much sex or how good u cooking is will always stray. the thing that brings him back home is that in u he has found a mate, a companion and a friend. . . all that gotten from sparking his interest and stimulating his mind!

what has that got to do with culture?

the proof is i've known thm for yrs and d way they both go on u'd think they were the first to discover love. . . i do admire their banter and d fact that they spend hours just gisting. . .

if a good cook and a good shag is all u need to fall inlove then i guess u fall inlove evryday becos that isnt hard to find

the kind of guys i know look for more substance in a woman other than d ability to cook and shag. . . thats what grabs at their heart.
havnt u seen marriages where there is little or no sex and food is prepared by a cook or help and yet they r both really happy? _{if u havnt, u need to get out more}

the sexual attraction and chemistry can only last so long, the thing that hold a marriage together after all the fireworks is friendship and companionship. . . the mutual stimulation of the mind

i see a love-struck puppy

mesmya:
ofcourse we all know that the lively i meant therer was interesting

been lively or interesting does not make a man stay with u

take married couples for xample,what is being interesting when d woman can't make love properly or cook well,yes men go out for food,but most of the time infact 98% of d time dey go out its because d woman aint doing it well.when a woman does her cooking well,i bet u a responsib,e man wont make it a habit of going out to get his tummy satisfied elsewhere

i recently had dinner at a nigerian couple's home. the food was just nasty but the husbaand loves his wife and loves her cooking. . . he always goes home for dinner and never eats out if he can help it. all thru the dinner he kept going on and on about how wondeful the food was, my mum and i cldnt help but wonder if we were eating the same thing he was

i also have a friend who broke up with hs girlfriend, she did everything right; cooked, cleaned, shagged, never nagged. . . he even confessed she was d perfect girlfriend but the poor dude was bored to death. he used to sneak out to come hang out with my friends and I for, in his words "stimulating conversation". how do u explain that?

in my opinion, a guy's need extend to more than the obvious. . . cooking and shagging are important but not enough to keep a relationship. with time a woman can learn to cook in th way her man loves and learn to give him mind-blowing sexual pleasure but the truth is, in time even this wont be enough, he will search for other forms of stimulation. the kind that never goes stale and keeps him on his toes. . . women make mistake of forgeting a mans mind

DeepZone:
How do you stimulate his mind when he's never attentive?

Thats d trick. . . u do something to catch his attention

mesmya:
or stimulate his mind in an empty stomach?

if u can stimulate his mind befor he gets hungry, he'll choose to eat your food over all else when he does

mesmya:
even sm of them have lively girls as lovers and they still go out,what will u call that?

there is a difference between being lively and being interesting. . .

Riskie:
I've never told you to keep your opinion to yourself although I've seen several posts from you that I have found offensive. Anyway, whatever.

Hope everything's ok with your mom and her health.

I dont go around stating my opinion in offensive ways. . . but no hard feelings!

my mum's good. . . thanx for asking!

davidylan:
close your legs, walk before the guy enters you. simple. If you don't want sex, don't flirt with a guy and give him a wrong impression . . . easy.

precisely the point of the entire topic

Riskie:
If you are looking for cheap things do not go to the malls or anywhere on Sheikh Zayed Rd. Your one and only destination should be Deira, near the Gold Souk. If you are willing to go to other emirates then go to Ajman. There are many outlets in Al Zahra in the industrial area that sell cheap _crap stuff.

Dubai is expensive only if you want to live there or vacation for a long time. But shopping in Dubai is uber cheap if you know where to look. Next time why don't you hire one of those guys that guides shopping people around. They will take some percentage of what you buy, I think. They know all the places to go to get cheap goods.

I agree oh. . . since i've been here i can count the number of times i've enetered a mall. . . the trick is to knwo where to go

Me thinks the way to a man's heart is thru his mind. . . keep him interested and keep his mind stimulated and he'll never leave
he can get food and sex anywhere

Riskie:
I don't have any issues with how I was raised, thank you very much. My parents didn't divorce until I was almost 20.

that doesnt count then. . . u werent raised by a single parent, your parent split after u were above d age of consent!

The issue that I'm talking about is how some women enter into risky relationships and don't think about the future and how what they do may affect their children. They do things like intentionally getting pregnant without a commitment or any assurance of one and don't think about how the kids may feel later when they only have one parent.

Believe it or not there r actually women out there who plan d whole thing, who actually set out to have children for themseleves, hav no interest in getting married. . . u may call that selfish but they are fully aware of the risks and problems involved and fully prepared for it.

Anyway maybe what I'm saying sounds offensive or I'm not doing a good job of explaining what I'm trying to say, so I'm not going to say anything anymore. I guess next time I'll keep my opinions to myself and just post smileys on other people's threads.

It does sound offensive to people lik my brother and I. . . and insulting to people lik my mum.
I suggest u stick to keeping your opinions to yourself if u can't express them without meaning to insult people

Riskie:
My mom is a single parent as well. So,I'm not saying it's always a horrid thing.

Sweety that is exactly what u r saying

Our society is rotting and deteriorating and this is one of the major reasons why.

Why are Nigerian women so content with being single mothers? I have seen far too many. I don't think many of them realize the effects that not growing up without a father has on the children.

Mind the way u use words,
u r entitled to ur opinions but suggesting that single parents r d reason d reason for all the troubles in d Nigerian society is pushing it. . . if u have issues with d way u were raised, i suggest u discuss it with ur mum. . . i wldnt trade d way i was raised for anything and i am infact proud of the fact that some women have d guts to go it on their own. i do hav a relationship with my dad, being raised by a single parent doesnt mean u dont hav a father. verything can b handled maturely. . . i understood d situation between my folks from an early age and my mother helped me deal with it. i appreciate it all more now and am infact proud of what my mum achieved. i probably wld do d same.

tpia:
sisikill- why do we find ourselves at opposite ends of an argument these days?

Is it really that hard to find evidence of rape?

Any doctor can verify evidence of sexual activity in the pubic regions.

Facts and allegations are two totally different things. Thats why the man is at a disadvantage in such cases. His main defence in most instances is either to get reliable witnesses saying no rape occurred or else damage the girls character so her testimony can be disregarded. A third option is settling out of court.

it is quite hard to find evidence in date rape situations becos there is usually initial consent or drugr are used. . . so the characteristic bruises and tears are absent

Why are Nigerian women so content with being single mothers? I have seen far too many. I don't think many of them realize the effects that not growing up without a father has on the children.

what kind of ignorant statement is that? what effects?

my mum is a sngle parent by choice. . . i agree it is not everyone's idea of a perfect family but it was perfect for us. . . she decided earlythat she never wanted to get married and she has made a success of her life and family without help from anyman. my bro and I are better off than many of our friends who grew up in "conventional" homes and hav better lives, so what effects pray tell do u mean?

onyinye2:
What im saying is that you can't put all the blame on the woman. The man is not untamed creature. He is a human being. Which has something called logic instilled in to their brains. If the woman doesn't want to go through with the act, it might be hard, but the man has to stop.
Gross.
So i guess Uche, you are back for round 2 of insults.

men arnt wired like us ok? u dont build that kind of anticpation and then expect him to cool off. . .  that is what i meant by being selfish. . .  if u want to stop, do so befor it goes too far!

I dont see uche's statemnt as an insult oh. . . it kinda hard to believe u r older than 12 . . . no insult meant here either

Sisikill:
You know this won’t be a problem if everyone took my advice and conducted there relationship like a business transaction.

1st phase (Introduction) if you like each other, then you go to the

2nd phase (Listening to each other’s offer and counteroffers this is where the woman can ask for a thorough perusal of the man’s abunga.)

3rd phase(Accepting of rejecting the offers) if you accept, then next step

4 phase (Draw papers up stating the clearly what the terms and conditions are)

Voila! Rape will be a thing of the past.

You got the right idea there girl!
i kind of work along those lines. . . to avoid any misconceptions

onyinye2:
When i meant my "going outside" I meant the dude should go for a walk or something because he access has be denied.

swthrt. . . u can't just turn on and turn off a human being like he was a piece of electronic. . . we all knw how guys are so why play with them that way? why do expect them to behave anything but how they r programmed to behave?

your stand sounds rather selfish. . .  the world doesnt reveolve around u, u know?

Uche2nna:
lol

No need to throw that in. From the posts here , noone is being judgemental. You smoking and drinking does not make You any better/worse than You already are. I don't smoke not because I find it immoral but because I just can't stand the smell of tobacco. So it is not a case of judgement but a case of likes and dislikes.

because u r not jusgemntal doesnt mean others are. . .

how come some assholes think its fine for a guy t smoke and drink but fnd it unacceptable for a woman?
i say what is good for the goose. . . .

Queenisha:
If I willingly followed a man into his hotel room,laying on his bed and watching TV then we start handling one another, I have become awilling participant.

My sentiments exactly and i bet thats what Helen meant!

They r a bunch of confused pple,
but who can blame them. . . if u think about how it was formd in the first place, how wont thy hav major issues hunting them

i am anglican from an anglican family and dont intnd changing churches becos d idea is to fellowship and not seek answers in churches. . . its pple who r lookin for answers and seeking to fill their emptiness that jump from church to church. i find d whole thing quite laughable

the anglican church basically doesnt knw where to place itself and has no focus

onyinye2:
But what about you and your guy are getting caught up and you know you aint into having sex. Doesn't matter what the situation or position you are in. . . . the guy should know that NO means NO.

why wld u go so far if u aren't going to go all d way. . .

d issue with date rape is that its usually guys u've just met. harmless flirting is ok but why go with him to his hotel room if u hav no plans of going all d way

michelin89:
@ topic

Will we have something like self defence in rape issues too?

eg: She wanted to kill me so I raped her to neutralize her.

I guess then it's not always criminal.

lol. . . wonder how that wld work  

I smoke and drink and not open to being changed. . . every boyfriend I've had never minded,
i accommodated those that didnt smoke and/or drink by not doing it when i'm with them and stuff like that but thats about it. . .

Hypocritical judgmental pricks can go F*CK urselves!

@ topic

I spse what she's driving at is that women shdnt put themselves in that situation. . .

if u don't want a guy, why lead him on. . . mean r pretty open with what they want anyways, so d idea that u didnt knw shdnt even arise. when u make it clear to a gut that you're not interested in sex and take away all opportunities for him to take advantage, then d issue of date rape will not even arise.

onyinye2:
I guess that can be romantic. . . . . not sure how do

u and him, barely any cloths on. . . on a bed. . .

it works! 

@ topic

things I find riomantic are:

~ long soaks in the bath together

~ pillow fights

~  doing d dishes together

~ giving each other massages

~ sharing a bowl fo ice-cream, while attempting to watch a movie