IamLEGEND1's Posts
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 Literature › Re: Stars 2017 Writing Competition Updates & Story Thread by IamLEGEND1: 12:23pm On Jul 17, 2017 |
the spy's bane by Gsteve001 CON- most parts of the story were going just fine until you introduced the poison/antidote plot point out of nowhere without any foreshadowing. Takes a leap in logic to understand how Ben even knew she was injected with a poison in the first place. I know word count was taken into consideration and you probably had no time to expand some facets of the story, which is exactly why that plot point should not have been introduced so far into your story. And the ending..... Too formulaic. Also, your punctuations were off at times i had to double takes. PRO- You paced your story brilliantly and there were few moments . no massive shootouts but I think that was a wise choice as it kept the heist aspect of the story moving smoothly. Good to shift the perspective to the third person as well,gives the readers a fresh perspective. Movie most similar to - Catch that kid (With shadier people in play). |
| Literature › Re: Stars 2017 Writing Competition Updates & Story Thread by IamLEGEND1: 11:50am On Jul 17, 2017 |
The Falconian by LarrySun CON- No action scenes. I'm starting to see a pattern emerging- There are those who are into massive action set pieces/excitement(Hazel, Esixlove et al) and those who eschew that to have room for more drama (Barrikade and yourself). I liked the minimalist storytelling with most it being set in a single building and all but you still left the overall setting a bit too ambiguous. PRO- Again, the ending. I can't help myself when it comes to twists and you delivered in full. The premise wasn't original but it was watertight, helps make the lack of action less obvious. Movie most similar to- Sicario. |
| Literature › Re: Stars 2017 Writing Competition Updates & Story Thread by IamLEGEND1: 11:18am On Jul 17, 2017 |
SPYTRAYAL by tuham CON- The ending was hugely anticlimactic. And the characters too cliché and underdeveloped. Evil boss- check. Family member in peril- check. Shady organization- check. And You were expecting to quit with your life still intact? The organization is called 'Kamikaze spy' for crying out loud. That should have been a burning red flag. Oh! and there are lots of typos too. PRO- I got just 3words bro: Cross dressing spy. LOL! Since the organisers decided to keep the gender of the spy male,You decided to go semi-rogue. I see you bruh. Movie most similar to- Mulan. But with spies. |
| Literature › Re: Stars 2017 Writing Competition Updates & Story Thread by IamLEGEND1: 10:51am On Jul 17, 2017 |
LarrySun:Don't sweat it. I am not a very frequent visitor of this section so I have zero preconceptions. I would have loved to have competed in this thing but I can't write a story to save my life...... My own na just reviews. |
| Literature › Re: Stars 2017 Writing Competition Updates & Story Thread by IamLEGEND1: 10:43am On Jul 17, 2017 |
Obsidian by Barrikade CON- Absence of any action sequence. I think a spy/action/thriller needs a good shootout or two. You could've fleshed out V.E.C.T.O.R's partner a bit more. Some of the writers went the easier route and used family members, so their character's motivation was clear. but i didn't care all that much when he found impulse dead. PRO- The ending. I'm a sucker for non-conventional endings and you really delivered. I was expecting the usual vow of vengeance So the 'now i am become death' style of epiphany was a welcome twist. Loved the original premise too. Taking Turkey's real-life attempted coup and adding a new twist to it. Kinda makes up for the lack of action scenes. Movie most similar to- Argo. |
| Literature › Re: Stars 2017 Writing Competition Updates & Story Thread by IamLEGEND1: 10:17am On Jul 17, 2017 |
LarrySun:Thank you, bro. I'm reading the stories randomly, so i Haven't read yours yet. But I hear say you na boss around this parts. |
| Literature › Re: Stars 2017 Writing Competition Updates & Story Thread by IamLEGEND1: 10:11am On Jul 17, 2017 |
Rage by Hazkel CON- Bogus and a bit too formulaic. We the readers know the mission took place in Belgium but the origin of your character or the location of his base is left unknown. It's good to have a bit of mystery around your character but the absence of vital pieces of information like these made it hard for me to create a mental picture of the protagonist. Spy stories have been done to death: the hero is double crossed only to vow retribution. Everyone could see that ending coming a mile away. So it would've been nice to see you do something new with the premise. PRO-The choice of words used to paint a picture of the various scenarios the protagonist found himself in were top notch stuff. The whole wetsuit and goggles scene gave me a pleasant case of deja vu of my days playing Splinter cell. Decent action sequences. Paced your story excellently as well. Movie most similar to- Mission: impossible |
| Literature › Re: Stars 2017 Writing Competition Updates & Story Thread by IamLEGEND1: 9:46am On Jul 17, 2017*. Modified: 10:32am On Jul 17, 2017 |
Convex by Esixlove CON- Too much emphasis on firearm models very few people care about, wasting valuable word space in the process which could have been used to develop the story further. The tension is also severely lacking. Also, one too many typos. PRO Supreme attention to detail. Kinda funny how one of your story's most obvious weakness turned out to be it's greatest strength . you took the time to name The type of nerve agents used by your character and even where they were manufactured- North Korea. Which is actually very believable. Awesome action sequences too. Movie most similar to - Kingsman: the secret service. |
| Literature › Re: Stars 2017 Writing Competition Updates & Story Thread by IamLEGEND1: 9:34am On Jul 17, 2017*. Modified: 10:33am On Jul 17, 2017 |
Spyked by Chidexter CONS- 1. Very Flawed logic: your employers had no reason to use your partner as a bargaining chip because as long as your character was concerned, he had no knowledge of hulk's detention. So they could simply have sent Dexta on the mission as he has been a true professional so far. Then there was the planting of the bomb in plane. I don't know how far away Kirkland was from your base but 2 days seems like an awfully short time to be able to plant a bomb, travel, complete the mission and return to base. I know it's a 1000 word story and cuts had to be made to fit in a contained story, but that flaw stood out like a sore thumb to me. PROS- 1. The bits of humor you threw in- Dorobucci Republic and the analogies - the Adele of the spy world etc. Movie Most similar to- The man from U.N.C.L.E |
| Romance › Re: Twitter User Claims A Lady Forgot This In His Bathroom by IamLEGEND1: 4:52pm On Jul 14, 2017 |
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| Romance › Re: New Levels Of Dryness On This Week's Episode Of #dryjokesfriday by IamLEGEND1: 4:38pm On Jul 14, 2017 |
If I masturbate_at home Can I call it homecoming? |
| Romance › Re: Photos Of Man Flirting With Girls Goes Viral On Facebook by IamLEGEND1: 4:24pm On Jul 14, 2017 |
Great things start from small beginnings growing up,reach early for your dreams, face the day with a new challenge a chance to be better, a chance to become your dream. Growing with a quality food drink,growing up with milo..... milo everyday. Kpa kpa Kpa kpa kpa kpa kpa kpa kpa MILO! 1 Like |
| Romance › Re: Man Share Photo Of Underwear A Lady Who Came To Collect Movies Left In His House by IamLEGEND1: 3:19pm On Jul 14, 2017 |
It means she's open for business . 21 Likes
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| Romance › Re: Tokunbo And Ade’s Chic Pre-wedding Photos Is More Than A Fairytale by IamLEGEND1: 10:03pm On Jul 12, 2017 |
she no get yansh sef. 1 Like |
| Romance › Re: Is There No Miss Nairaland Competition This Year? by IamLEGEND1: 8:12pm On Jul 12, 2017 |
Dygeasy:
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| Romance › Re: Checkout This Epic Reply by IamLEGEND1: 7:25pm On Jul 12, 2017 |
Nobody want make him village elders revisit him case file.
Just dey on your own jeje.
the surest baba for my village dey Instagram now.
2 Likes |
| Romance › Re: Ladies, What Are Some Advantages Of Dating You? by IamLEGEND1: 7:19pm On Jul 12, 2017 |
Lionessza:surely you must have realized now that he's either pulling your legs or just plain stupid....... Either way, it's not worth wasting precious seconds replying motherfuckaz who can't present their arguments in a well-balanced manner. 1 Like |
| Romance › Re: The Speaking Baby by IamLEGEND1: 6:50pm On Jul 12, 2017 |
all of them na idiots for that family. Dem just allow the pikin dey spell death for them. I for don smother that mothafucker with pillow tey-tey. 1 Like |
| Romance › Re: Lady Asks Her Dead Boyfriend's Ghost To Kill His Assailants (Photos) by IamLEGEND1: 6:45pm On Jul 12, 2017 |
The moment I saw the picture of her crying I lost all sympathy I had for her. What is it young people and this overwhelming drive to post every single thing online? Is there nothing private in this world anymore? Sure, everyone will rush to your post & RIP and whatnot but ultimately, they don't give a fuck_about you or your problems. She'll look back on this a couple of years from now and realize how much she goofed. 35 Likes 3 Shares |
| Romance › Re: Help Guys! I Am Having 'baby Fever' And It's So Intense! by IamLEGEND1: 5:15pm On Jul 12, 2017 |
your own papa talk say make you no doam but you gree no hear word...... Na the advice you go receive from random strangers you go follow? |
| Romance › Re: Please My Fellow Nairalanders,your Advice Are Needed. by IamLEGEND1: 5:03pm On Jul 12, 2017 |
pray she doesn't die "mysteriously" during childbirth. Dem go force you to marry the dead body or you die mysteriously too. #IgboKwenu |
| Romance › Re: I Want A Lady That Checks All On This List by IamLEGEND1: 4:02pm On Jul 12, 2017 |
first,write a 500 word essay telling us why you're single . with emphasis on why you dumped/were dumped by your exes. - where you work & how much you make a month. (multinational oil conglomerates & a minimum of 300,000 monthly income required) - what automobile brand you drive. (only German brands accepted) - attach to the essay a recent passport photograph (not more than 3 months old) , an affidavit of good conduct from a notary court, the test results from your last 5 comprehensive medical checkups and your bank account statements for the past one year. 37 Likes 4 Shares |
| TV/Movies › Re: What Movie Are You Watching Now? by IamLEGEND1: 3:46pm On Jul 12, 2017 |
kingphoenix10:Dafuq! Wonder Woman over homecoming? Well, I guess every bro prefers different strokes. 1 Like |
| Romance › Re: Reasons Why You Should Never Hit A Woman by IamLEGEND1: 1:01pm On Jul 12, 2017 |
What else is new? |
| Romance › Re: Amazing!! Beautiful Lady Did Her Wedding With Her Hubby Potrait by IamLEGEND1: 12:47pm On Jul 12, 2017 |
1 Like
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| Romance › Re: Confession Time - Have You Ever Peeped A Girl Bathing Before? by IamLEGEND1: 8:56pm On Jul 10, 2017 |
Hmmmmm Takes badt man back to his days as a pervert. Man! Those days were the shit_ Just having that boner_straining painfully against your zipper was the sweetest reward a guy could hope for. |
| Romance › Re: This Cinema Themed Pre-wedding Photo Is Everything by IamLEGEND1: 12:10pm On Jul 05, 2017 |
| Romance › Re: This Woman Wants To Be Remembered For Having World's Biggest Hips by IamLEGEND1: 5:15pm On Jul 04, 2017 |
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| Romance › Re: Lovely Nairalanders Pre-wedding Photos. by IamLEGEND1: 4:13pm On Jul 04, 2017 |
Find whoever it was that put that makeup on your fiancée's face and drown that mothafucker in a shallow puddle in abia. 1 Like |
| Romance › Re: Hello Am New Here by IamLEGEND1: 2:08pm On Jul 04, 2017 |
IamSINZ:just running mah parade on the DL. What's good, brother? It has been a while. |
| Romance › Re: Single Mothers DO NOT Deserve Baby Showers -twitter User by IamLEGEND1: 2:00pm On Jul 04, 2017 |
Remind me again why I should give a fuck_about some random idiot's opinion.... |
| Romance › Re: Hello Am New Here by IamLEGEND1: 1:54pm On Jul 04, 2017 |
IamSINZ:bruh!
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