₦airaland Forum

. . .So even after all this months,you are yet to get ur dough
Did u send more money after November last year

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=557496.msg7220366#msg7220366

Uju,did u miss the part where the OP said "to be honest to everyone,I married my husband because he is very caring"
I did not see the age and societal pressure story in her post or  are talking abt another thread
I agree wholeheartedly that the society puts pressure on single unmarried ladies but In this case,atleast from what I have gathered so far is NOT the case.The OP might be 20 yrs for all i know 
This very case is one of greed.
Besides,to follow your line of argument,which 30 yr old lady after all the societal and family pressures wud finally get answers to her prayers(a husband) and then start messing up this way?Point out 1.

How old are your kids?
Assuming your kids are already in school;
1.Get the pants,socks,shoes,uniforms ready and neatly arranged in the night and separated for each child.Get whatever u wud wear the next day ready.
2.If your B/F is anything that has to do with stew or soup,prepare the soup/stew at night.
3.Wake early,5am is practical.Turn on the water heater,start cleaning the house.20 mins maximum.
4.5;20,wake the kids,starting from the eldest(don't wake them all at the same time),bathe him/her dry him/her,lotion the body and point his/her stuffs for him.At this stage they shld put on only socks,pants,inner wear and shoe.While he is at it,wake the next child . . .maximum time for bathing and dressing 40 mins.check on your food too.
If u've got a good husband he shld help with step 4 but still u can do it alone.
5.6am.[/b]You are the kitchen dishing out b/f and lunch packs.Husband handles the dinning table while u bath.
6.[b]6:30[/b]You are ready,have your family devotion.
7.[b]6;45 Have your b/f while kids put on their school uniform,husband helps/supervises.
8.7am u all are stepping out.

Ivynwa:
This indeed is a very interesting thread. The beautiful thing about our nairaland is that it can still enable one feel the crannies and pulse of some misplaced norms in our society wherever in the world you are.
Poster with all these confusions weighing you down I am of the opinion just like TheCongo and Ninapha that you take time out of it all and pray. It won't be wise to go ahead now and marry whichever of them your mind tells you to pick out, the confusions needs to be allayed to avoid regrets. Don't let yourself be rushed into tying the knot with the fella that is in a hurry to marry you because he doesn't want to lose you to another man. Be honest to him and ask for time to be clear headed enough. Some men are competitive in nature, watch that male driver taking his time and driving slowly on the road, the moment another vehicle passes him with high speed the competition begins! It's your future at stake not some ego-fight not that I am blaming the men in your lives for having you arrive here neither am I blaming you. It's all rooted down to the many things that are going wrong in our Nigerian society. Yes I said it!

I can clearly see that picture of a lady trying to get married like her mates are doing and because she gains more respect and gets validated by the Nigerian society when she is married. As the boyfriend she loves does not seem serious she says "Yes I will marry you" to the next man that asks for her hand after all what is important is to get married and be more respected and appreciated by the society like her mates only to realize some weeks later that she is in a fix.
I can feel it because I am an unmarried lady going through all the pressures the single ones are subjected to here right from families, extended families, friends, your married mates and the society. I have been influenced by that norm of ours, have been swayed a bit by it to the point that I have even opened up about the desires of my heart here in the forum and have done one or two unpretty things in the influence of that but I have come to a point where I have decided not to be moved by the taunts and pressures. The only two things that still inspire me about getting married are such beautiful human feelings like my love for babies and that natural longings we all have. Right now I ain't tripping about what our Nigerian society thinks but is more concerned with finding fulfillment in the things I do, realizing my potentials/talents and staying happy. Dear Poster I advise you to opt for clear headedness before you take that big leap.     

Mrbrownjay it's nice of you to have observed the fact that the average unmarried Nigerian lady is tripping to marry the next minute, note that it all emanated from the misplaced norms of this society of ours which influences these ladies. There is a need for re-orientation for Nigerian girls and you are doing a very great job at that here in the forum with your advice about them not being clouded in making important decisions of marriage because we all want to stand looking right and gain the respect of a society too-judgemental for its own good. More forces should be joined to that effort to enlighten & open the eyes of our single female youths that we don't need a husband to validate our persons or to belong in the Nigerian society and that we should strive towards finding fulfilment in other areas of our lives including marriage when it finally happens to us.

There are some norms in this society of ours that are not proper and I am advocating for changes to such and wishing that something can be done about them. A widow that wakes up from mourning her husband and decides to date and find love again gets derided by the society, a divorced woman gets mocked even if she wasn't the cause of the divorce. A woman that gets pregnant out of wedlock is judged so hard that she is considered dirty and worthless. We now have the present wave of "You ain't nothing if you have no money" and we have the resultant effects of kidnappings and corruptions and the shaming of us all by scammers in the international community.
Let us see the fact as it is, the Nigerian society is too disrespectful and hard on unmarried ladies which has led many women into all kinds of desperate measures, manipulations and counter manipulations ALL IN A BID TO GET MARRIED! Some weeks back, I read in a thread here about a newly wedded gloom lamenting that he just realized after his wedding that his new wife who deceived him into thinking that she is younger than he is, is actually 3 years older than him and I went "What more extremes can our society push the ladies to??" I mean it's real serious if women now go to that extent.

While I agree with some parts of your post but there are parts i don't quite get,are u apportioning blames to the society
In the case of the OP,when she was enjoying the man's kind heart and everything,was it the society that influenced that?
Every man or woman is responsible to a great extent for his/her f.cup up.

Excerpts from her initial post:
I got married recently (traditionally)to a guy whom i knew as a friend back in school. I have being in-love and still in love to my childhood love for over 15yrs. My married husband knew that am iin lovewith this guy back in school. I misunderstood my childhood love when he had a problem for not being carring anymore and also not ready for marriage.
I actually thought that the problem he had then indicated not being carring. Now I have come to know the truth and he actually meant well for me.

I gave my husband a chance and he proposed and got me married.
He has already planned our weeding but am confussed right now because my first love had also proposed to me before I got married. My husband said that he want to wed me asap, if not he will lose me to him.

I have told my first love and he still want to marry me. ((( He honestly adviced me to think before wedding or popostponehe weeding which is next month and get off the fear before saying " I do "
Priest and cocancellersre now involved and they says that love is not all in marriage. But i don't want to leave with a man and my mind and heart is else where. I also don't want to hurt both men.

I cry every night and I know that i am a confussed person right now.
To be honest and sincere to you all who will honestly help me, I am married to him because he is carring but my mind ,hart and everything is with my first love, whom i mistook his dimmed carring as not ready for marriage.
My childhood love was there for me when everyone abandoned me. In all these years he never had sex with me till date yet i hahardlyithstand him. He always call me to order when I get out of control emotionally and i listen to his voice any day.
Please help me and have anyone being through such.

The OP is not a victim of circumstance in any way . . .

Is this an observation from your real-life female acquaintances(which i believe are mostly celebs) or from online female friends

Orikinla:
I have seen countless  cases of their predicaments over the years and they are not decreasing.

In fact, the Internet has made their case worse, because they cannot deny the records even if they claim to be suffering from amnesia.

I have lost count of the cases of shameless Nigerian girls telling lies as a way of life, but they end up fooling themselves as their relationships have been derailed or crashed and marriages have collapsed with the innocent children suffering the nightmarish consequences. 

When you have read and seen that telling lies will end with your downfall and disgrace, why lie at all and live in fear of being discovered as a LIAR?
With every lie something in you will die. And even if you buried it, it would be exhumed one fateful day. There is nothing  like walking tall with your head raised and not hanging it in guilt and shame when the truth exposes you.

lol @ crapberry wahala

rofl.
O buru na ine anya ofuma,rikom na kpom diketere aha Dayokanu.
1.On a good day . . . .O naghi adigide n'ihi na
2.A na m a manage . . . .A dim na mbu mara na di bobo wu Mkpi awusa.O na achu ihe o bula bu ihe na obi.

Where is Evans?

[quote author=mama-gee link=topic=596406.msg7643353#msg7643353 date=1296525166][color=deeppink]Who knew this lady before she popped out from the woodwork?[/color][/quote]I do and i guess some other people do.
Rumours abt her range from dating the high and mighty to being a kleptomaniac.

Muki na Lb,
Twins again ke,lolz.

mukina2:
have a safe delivery, whenever you deliver Sis, and may the kid boy/girl grow up to be a good muslim boy/girl, make you proud as parents.
If you can try listening to Suratul mariam or try reading the transliteration 


Amin 'na la.
Oga why you put children, she tell you say na twins?

Amin

^na u talk am oh.
Berry na berry.

Anu gba ajo oso,a jujua ya ajo egbe.A naghi agwa ochi nti na agha esu.
Desperate situations calls for desperate measures

Ah ah Stella,when did she marry and divorce ni

Bragging or boasting abt anything ie kids,accomplishments,marriage,success can be impolite and even boring to the listener.You can be proud and happy abt ur kids but when u go on and on it becomes lame,boring and childish.

I love to hear good things about my friends' children. It makes me happy to see them happy and I am genuinely pleased when they do well. But I much prefer the company of a parent who humbly responds to questions about her child's accomplishments to one who brags incessantly to anyone who will listen.

@OP,u did not get ur sisters permission before b.anging their husbands likewise u do not need their permission before you move out.The chat with the husband is not enough though its commendable,GF U need to move out from that house!It takes less than a second to pry open an old wound. . .You owe no man any confession or explanation,no one but God.You just have to prepare ur mind to live with the guilt. . .that is the ultimate scar and price.

Toshman 2007,Presido1 na Romeo 2008,Echelon na Ikomi 2009,Darfur na Pres-elect 2010.2011 Jakumo.Agaba no na stand-by 24/7.On a good day,a nam a manage Dayokanu.I hope na o nweghi onye na ime ha i na ahu na nro?a na m anutakwa ogu nwoke ofuma.

^^Whoever named his/her school Ibo national school then we suddenly become Ibo's?I have no problem when folks decide to use IBO but it does not change the fact that the right word is Igbo. . .which is what the OP wants to know.Go and look for Igbo novels,textbooks,Waec,Neco,Gce question papers and see how its spelt.@Alj harem,ijiji ha ndi singing.Aguwa ndi Igbo a gunye gi?akuko!

Ngwanu Odunnu,Ka m kweta nke i kwuru.lol@rooftop.

kokoye:
I dont think I would send a gift to an ex . .just not worth the trouble in my opinion. But if an ex truly needs my help . .


my ex got stuck and penniless in an unknown city and country a few months ago. I'm sure it took a lot for her to call and ask me for help.

Of course I helped in my own little way to make sure she has just enough to get her out of her misery.

Should I or should I have not? I believe I did the right thing.

If I can help people I do not know, why not someone I know and once cared for?

or maybe I should have left her to suffer . .when we parted as friends

I think not

Gifts and assistance are 2 different things.

mukina2:
Ify do you know these by heart now?
https://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs368.ash2/64624_1195993396300_1722430913_377466_2260882_n.jpg

Off hand,Fa is my last-stop
Im expecting soonest and it kind of makes me dull

zayhal:
wa alaykum salam,

Working on Friday isn't haram. We are enjoined to leave whatever business we're doing during the time of jum'a and go for the jum'a prayer after which we're encouraged to go back to our work/business.

azharuddin:
Working on friday is not haram, but working and not attending Friday prayer (juma'a) is haraam. Once the Adhan for Juma'a is heard we have to hurry to the mosque.

Suratul Juma'a, verse 9: o you who believe! when the call is made for the Prayer on Friday, then move
promptly to the remembrance of God (by listening to the sermon and doing the
Prayer), and leave off business (and whatever else you may be preoccupied with).
This is better for you, if you but knew.

After Juma'a we are allowed to return back to our jobs but we should still remember Allah in our daily jobs.

Suratul Juma'a, verse 10: And when the Prayer is done, then disperse in the land and seek (your por-
tion) of God’s bounty, and mention God much (both by doing the Prayer and
on other occasions), so that you may prosper (in both worlds).

Thank you.

zayhal:
My best understanding of the above is:

A muslim adult MUST pray all of the obligatory prayers in the mosque throughout his life except he has a genuine reason not to pray in the mosque e.g he was sleeping at the time of the congregational prayer, he's ill and perhaps on hospital admission etc.

zayhal:
And talking about 'regularly or on occassion'. While some Muslim adult do not mind not praying in the mosque, they are only concerned about praying but don't really care whether they do it in the mosque or in their homes, others are mindful of the obligation to pray in the mosque but occassionally fall short of this. Perhaps due to the nature of their job or other inexcusable reasons.

The bottom line is that a Muslim must strive to pray the 5 obligatory ones in the mosque and not give excuses for not doing so.

@Topic

please also include how to correct mistakes made during salah, or example, the baadi and qabli. Jazakumullah khayran.

Eche gan.
In my husbands office,they are abt 7 Muslims so they have their own mini-mosque where they observe their salat together.
@Bolded,what are they?
Salam.

Abagworo:
All are right depending on the writer because traditional Igbo writing is not in Roman but Nsibidi.Several of such spelling disagreements occur in many Igbo words.

Chukwu-Chuku

Oka-Okar-Okah

Ibe-Ibeh

Nwala-Wala

Nwachukwu-Wachukwu-Nwachuku

Emodi-Emordi

Akwa-Akua.

These are just but few cases of such spelling disagreement.

It is not peculiar to Igbo but is also noticeable in other African and European languages.Osogbo or Oshogbo are both right in Yoruba.

Please since when did it become Ibo?How do u even pronounce that?
What u have up there are dialects.In schools,the language is known as Igbo. . . .the fact that it became corrupted to Ibo does not make it right.Nsibidi?huh? . . . http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nsibidi
Show me a part of Igboland where elders chant "Ibo kwenu" 

Agwo nokwa na akirika ma o buru na dimkpa nwoke Onye Igbo lechara anya kwe na isi na o bu onye Ibo.

mexxyaaron:
@ guys

pls dont mind this fat and bad mannered woman,no wonder she is still single.all she is interested is your money and cars and nothing else.Imagine the bit.c.h asking me if am mobile while her father has only a bicycle.CHIAMARA U DONE BUY BICYCLE TIRE B4 THATS WHAT I ASK HER OOO.GUYS THIS IS HER NUMBERS 017344049 AND 07033582485 BUT BE WARNED THAT SHE IS AN HUNGRY GIRL.

lmao.
You dey vex gan

nwangap:
you should be worried she never bother to upgrade herself educationally, i mean with all her fame, she was asked her educational qualification, and she was telling us nursery and primary school stuff, she dropped out of secondary school to have her baby. and up til now, she never bother to do something do something about it,even if it means just getting into school and buying her way through.its the order of the day!

. . . Oh Really.
From who she is dating to her educational qualification.

rockers:
It was all about fanfare, excitement and glamour as the first edition of Nigerian Idol entered the final stage last Saturday January 29, 2011.

Celeb and media guests stormed the exclusive cocktail event was Tee A, Kel, Lynxx, Gbemi Olateru Olagbegi, Lamide Akintobi, Steve Babaeko, Ayo Animashaun, Uche Odoh, Deji Awokoya, Booboo, Dipo Abdul, and Ayeni Adekunle were some of the big names that showed up to usher in the final 13.
Of course the judges; Yinka Davies, Audu Maikori and  Jeffery Daniel were all there as well as Hosts Misi and Anis who both put up a spectacular performance on the night.


Read more: http://www./2011/01/nigerian-idol-unveils-13-finalists.html#ixzz1CccaVR5f

Who amongst them is a Celeb?Who dem be

Ibo is NOT right in any way,form or manner.The right word is IGBO.

Your font Only makes u and whatever u type a big bore!

Evacuate them from Egypt and dump them at Jos

More crapberry . . .cheap crapberry

http://potechintegrated.com/phones.html

Its been quite a time i had such a good laugh.@Topic,No.I did most of the cooking so i had my fill of whatever i wanted.My siblings were not into food that much either to worry abt meat or fish.My grannie hangs special and assorted types of roasted,smoked and dried meat at her fire place,my hands often stray.