₦airaland Forum

pslm23:
Ifyalways, his plans are just to send the kids back home while him and his wife remains her in the US. they are both working and i guess he doesn't want to be the only one making money here. He did threaten to forcefully send her back to the village with the kids if she didn't stop badgering him about his plan.

I just want to correct a few misconceptions I've read here so far.

1. The children do not have passports, for those of you suggesting my friend take the passports and hide
2. According to my friend, her passport and greencard have always been in her husband's hand. he claimed to have put it in a safety deposit box at their bank.
3. It took her years to get pregnant and 5 years after she is still unable to conceive on her own. The twins were conceived via IVF. So technically, those babies are her life.
4. her MIL (mother in law) is a controlling bossy woman. I met her once when i visited home and had to take gifts to her on behalf of my friend. she never appreciated any of the gifts. she said (in igbo language of course) "what am i going to do with all this things, he should send me money instead of sending me things i can't use" .
It was one complaint after the other and i sure was glad to leave when i did.
5. They were going to rent a place for his mom in  Awka or Onitsha so she would leave the village but she wouldn't hear of it. She said she was born in the village and she will die there.

I agree with prttygrr, i think it's time for my friend to consult with an immigration attorney and at least know her rights. December is around the corner.

My sister,this their case get K-Leg and Bow-leg at the same time.
Things might still change b4 dec.who knows?
If i were her,im sure am going with my children,stay some mths,cook-up some stories and come back,to hell with the work,that is IF im still intrested in the man and marriage.
I only wish your friend makes the best decision for herself and her children.
Ikpe nke a kariri umunna itinye onu.  

I dont think there is any specified time for her to leave oh.Did your friend wife have a normal delivery,Is she strong enough to bathe,take care of the baby alone and run her family now?
I think,generally speaking,3 months is ok but are they uncomfy with her presence 

lagerwhenindoubt:
@posters I am very good and skillful at flippin burgers, pancakes and pizza (ask tantalizers), do i qualify for your web-flippin online business. please i need to flip enough to send my grand-father to school

lol

Andre Uweh:
CHIMZURUM--my God is sufficient/enough for me.
CHINANU--God hears.
CHINELO--God thinks.
CHIMAROKE[b]M[/b]--God knows my portion/share.

Chinelolum . . .God has me in mind or God thinks of me 

pslm23:
As of this morning there has been no consensus reached by the couple. I sat with him for over 3 hours after i got off of work and pleaded with him to no avail. He is even more adamant that he wants his kids raised in Nigeria. He believes that 5 years old is the right age to start instilling respect and discipline into a child. Apparently, from what I've gathered so far, he has seen many instances where young African kids born and raised in the US talk back to their parents and the parents can't do anything for fear of being locked up by the police. Their next door neighbor is from Ghana and their 10 year old daughter reported her mom to her teacher because her mom spanked her for cutting up a pair of brand new sneakers  she suffered to buy because her peers had a different style or something to that effect. The teacher called the police and DYFS. Mom was arrested, child was removed from home pending investigation.

This is one of the many many reasons why my friend's husband is determined to send his twins home. I told him i agree that children need discipline at an early age but that 5 years was just too damn early. I was told when i have mine i can do whatever the heck i wanted. So i backed off.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I believe I've tried my best.

OK.
Well,as it stands now,the decision rests on your friends shoulders.BTWN,did the husband suggest your friend ie wife goes home too to stay with the kids for those years or he wants her to stay with him in london,make more babies and ship them off to grannie?
The west might be bad and unsafe but i still maintain thats lazy parents that wud ship away their children cos they feel their environment is not safe for bringing up kids.
@OP,your friend wud either hold on to her kids,stop them from going home and lose her husband OR decide to leave everything,go back and stay with the kids plus grannie for those 5  years. . .Unless ofcourse the hubby changes his mind.
Assuming shes not having any prior problem with the MIL,i wud think it wud be better for her to go with the kids,stay for some mnths and stage her comeback with her children .

youngies:

Agba mbu, otua n'ogwe; agba abuo, otua n'ogwe; o na bu ogwe ka apiara aku
Once bitten twice shy

Akpusi gba Otele,O muru ako.
Once bitten,twice shy

Sup people
Please,what does Islam say abt Pre-nup,wills and Inheritance?
Every and any comment supported by an Ayat or Sura.

youngies:
Dalu,

@topic
Okwute ria elu, onye isi nkwocha enwepu oso
Once bitten, twice shy

lol
Agadi da ada ugboro abuo,nke ato o guo ihe o bu na ugbo onu.
Once bitten twice shy
rubi,ndeewo.

@Topic,Naijacutee i just loff her.
Iice . . she just cant melt,bend or break.
Jakumo . . .awesome. ,my congo-shine.lol
Lagosboy. . . lots of respect for him.
Chaircover . . wise.
Tpia. . . Strong.
Becomrich/Dr.Cork . . Resident comedians,no dull moments with them.
Jaybee. . .Hes not loud but hes intelligent.
Omo ibo. . .hehehe,onye aruru ala.
UjuJoan and Sissy . . .

vinooh:
ndi igbo kwuru si esue ka aha eri udere atotue ngiga,ole ndi nwe eba?

e zuo.
@Topic,Onye ngbo tugburu nna ya na eji ite-ona eme okpu.
Once bitten,twice shy

[quote author=*Hauwa* link=topic=520493.msg6926141#msg6926141 date=1286887595]Bia = come

Fra = short for Frank. The portugese guy trading there [/quote]rofl.
You scarce oh abi Presido don score goal?
@OP,have u tried asking Ojukwu them

ChinenyeN:
It [Kamanu, also Kamalu] is used in some areas, as opposed to "Amadioha".

Thanks.Its sounded strange and somewhat 'foreign' to my ears.

OMO IBO:
LOL
Of course it is Igbo.
I heard an uncle say it while telling my mum a story
Thanks for the confirmation

lo

Dereformer:
@ifyalways

are u married?

Stay on Topic.

pslm23:
To all N/Landers that responded, goodmorning and thank you for all your input and ideas. I printed out all the responses i could on this topic and showed my friend so she will see that there are people out there that support her in not sending those babies back home just yet!

As of 10pm last night, her husband was still set in his decision and had started becoming erratic. A few of our mutual igbo friends whom we consider elders came and tried to discourage him but this man just wouldn't listen so everybody had to call it a night. This morning my friend calls me and said all night long she was pleading with him and even threatned to harm herself if he carries out this act. He didn't care.
T[b]his is what i want to suggest to her and I need y'all to tell me if it is a good idea. She should file for divorce.[/b] in this country when there's a divorce and kids are involved, neither spouse can take a child away without the consent of the other spouse. She might be given primary custody if she can prove that he is unfit and i think by adamantly wanting to subject these babies to untold hardship at an early age, he can be called unfit!

I also totally agree with that theory that he is just trying to run away from childcare fees, baby sitting fees etc.

hmmn  
u went too far,Just let her see the positives and negatives of what the husband is suggesting and let her make the final decision herself.

makajibbz:
at the end the kids will be well trained and cultured enuff to succed in the u.s cos of the oppurtunities exhibited.

5 year old kids?
what are they going to learn in 9ja?what values wud she impact on them now?How to farm,swim at the stream,fetch firewood,pound foo-foo abi  
First grannie is old,husband is an only child meaning its just grannie and 2 children.what happens when they fall sick?
@OP,If grannie says she aint coming to stay then lets do it this way:
your friend insist shes not leaving her children behind in 9ja.Its either they all stay back or grannie comes back with them.
She spend more time at home with the kids,start working part-time.
Its a delicate situation really which can even break her home.B4 now,have she been having problems with grannie  
She can also call and talk to grannie herself.Just swallow all pride,call her and plead and promise her that she wud send the boys to stay with her when they are 10 or 12.It cud be that she did something in the past and grannie is just using this to get back at her,if her husband is not bulging,she shld try the grannie directly route.
Sincerely,na wao for dat her husband.

Dont know him but the wife is so pretty,the grooms trou. looks an inch or 2 longer 
May the honeymoon last forever.

Have anyone watched the movie "keeping Faith" ?
I just finished it now and i must say,We do have good actors and actresses plus good scripts _{once in a while}
Pls,whats the name of the lady that acted as"tam-tam" ie the one that smokes
Genevive,Bimbo plus dat lady so interpreted and acted out their roles well
Joke silva as usual was right on point.

wow.Im so verrrrrrrrrrrrrrry happy for her.
Chikelu,the former husband really dealt with her.I pray she finds a never ending happiness this time around and may the honeymoon last forever.

OMO IBO:
Kamanu= Thunder or god of thunder
I believe it is.
Can someone confirm this please??

which lingo?Igbo or

Wow.
This guy has a striking resemblance with Escapee
Hmmn,kpom first.

yvyy:
THOSE GUYS 35YRS AND ABOVE

they should stop complaining abt ibo bridde price
the only ibo w high bride price is d place  am from OWERRI.
its pretty high,the sucked my hubby dry ,infact d list is outrageous.

bt thats not a good reason nt to marry,they shld look else where that is cheap like enugu girl r d cheapest with 15k u r done w d list

then ebonyi state is almost free, abia isnt bad and ofcourse anambra isnt bad too.
they could also look into delta state they r nt expensive
so to you all  old bachys pls go and marry and stop lookin at trivial issues. hahahahahahaha

You ppl are funny.
I dont know if u guys assume everyone on nl live in the moon or sumtin sha.
Owerri wey girls cheap like tomorrow no dey abi na where ?
If a particular family decides to sell off their daughter cos they are PHD(poor, hungry and desperate)it then translates that bride price is expensive in the whole owerri akuko 
@Dereformer,High bride price (myths,assumptions and truths)cases in Igbo land have been overflogged already in NL,pls dont take me back there,biko.

johndoe200:
T here, who had enough experience of life to appreciate that there are many accommodations made in many many marriages by both partners to make their stay on earth bearable.

This is a word neither u nor ur friend shld ever use.
Accomodation indeed,talk of double standards and hypocrisy !
If ur friend or u really know the meaning of that word then pls use it for once.
Let him make accomodations now for the wife.she has been making all the sacrifices for 15 years till her poor Ikebe deflated . . .and all shes getting is this?

johndoe200:
I have a friend who has a problem. He has been married for 15 years. All his life he has been an "ikebe man".
He is and has always been into women with the biggest behinds. Anyway not surprisingly he married a woman with all the endowments he liked.
Unfortunately for him, she now has a medical condition that has forced her to loose all the "endowments". Any attempt to regain the endowments will almost certainly put her life in jeopardy.

The simple solution for him would be to get a girl friend outside with the requisite ikebe, but this would mean "hotel runs" which he hates. He lives in a big house and wants to accommodate an ikebe in a part of the house. He has no interest in marrying this new ikebe or anything romantic like that. Just provide accommodation and have regular booty calls.

The problem is, even though his wife knows him and knows that he is not interested in anything other than booty calls with the new ikebe, she opposes the idea of having any other woman to begin with and certainly not in"her house" as she calls it. His wife has been aware of his preferences from the day they met and she knows that for him huge ikebe is an article of faith. By the way they have 3 children.

He and I both agreed that his wife is being unreasonable and cannot expect him to remain ikebeless for the rest of his life, even though what happened was not her fault. He wants to go ahead and install the ikebe regardless of his wife's objections.
I have told him to get people (family members etc) to try and get her to see sense first, if she still does not reason with him then he can go ahead and bring the "iya apati" (this is what we used to call these kinds of women). After all it's just a booty call.

Please was my advise correct?

im curious,what precisely is the special medical condition that made her loose her most prized and coveted assest,according to her husband 
A  woman have lived with u for 15 yrs,bore u 3 kids and all he still see in her is an Ikebe?
cheei,we women dey collect shtye chop from men.  cos if your friends plan actually work,na anoda woman go agree come siddon for another woman house as ikebe-call Olorun maje !
Your friend is veryyyyy very selfish and callous.

Oh,so they even had a divorce?

[quote author=Mr-Cork link=topic=505115.msg6914473#msg6914473 date=1286734235]MAMA GEE is too dyamm rudes, the chick aint even light skin and she not even gots Nyansh [/quote]. . .No ofeiinse (u missed that) thank me.

angelz:
u are very correct.
Angie is not as pretty as gene, even when she was her age.
4get the fact that she is white,if she were black,she will be worst.
gene is not angie, she is just gene and we are so PROUD OF HER.

G-B-A-M

[quote author=Care-Taker link=topic=63870.msg6920445#msg6920445 date=1286811679]Bia, olende no eba d'akpa isiokwu hu?[/quote]u resurrected this thread?
I mesaghi ya at all.

Is this a sort of joke?In this day and age  
She needs to sit down and talk with her husband ooh b4 water pass garri.Pls,that excuse is not only ridiculous and lame but is known to be a ploy used by lazy parents that want to shy away from the responsibility of bringing up their children.
If those kids go back,she wud def. be getting back strangers,the move wud do more harm than gud.
Its  a very delicate and dangerous situation now.she needs to apply wisdom.
bottomline:she shld coerce and make her husband see reasons with her, better still,let grannie come stay with them for sometime .

na wao.

nanidee:
@ Ify, funny enough, i thought she was trying to say[b] kee nke na eme?[/b], and this would inturn mean,  What is happening? 

Yes,its possible

googles:


no offense but it all sounds watery to me

lol
Dr/Mr Cork-inology  
@Topic,OK.

@Uju,Belated buffday to you.