Benue abi

Juliusdaughter:


I lost my dad two years back, and she never really said good things about him until his death. I feel she's transferring some aggression on me cos I'm the first born.

I just felt that reading your story that was why I asked.There is something she's taking out on you.Try your best not to argue or have quarrels with her ,she is going through some pain and her aggression is misplaced.Have you tried telling her how her attitude makes you feel?
Sometimes bringing it up may even make her act uglier you have to be mentally prepared to carry out that conversation.People like that get defensive and say even more hurtful things but at least it is good to try.
I pray the Lord helps you .
It must be rough for one's mom to be so judgmental like that.
Forgive her
God sees your heart but you must move away from her so she doesn't destroy your confidence and self esteem

Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

Are your parents divorced ?
did they have a very sad marriage or relationship ( if not married)
and do you look like your dad?
Seems to me like your mom is taking out some frustrations on you.very unhealthy place to be
Wishing you well in your tailoring.

James4358:
Hello my nairaland family. I'll make this post short & precise... I buried my dad around april this year.

Am the only available child, as my elder brother relocated abroad in january & has refused to make contact. I took a loan to sponsor my bro's trip abroad, & also took another loan from my bank to partly sponsor the burial as all the family burden rested on my shoulders..

Last month, my dad appeared in a dream telling me to hurry up in paying a vow he made in church of abt 50k before he died. I was warming up to pay the vow this month's ending as am stil servicing the loans i got from my bank.

He appeared last week to remind me but yesterday night's own came with severe flocking. Am stil feeling the pains from the cain he used at my back & joints..

How do i contain him before month end when i'll be bouyant to pay the vow.

Am afraid he may return with more beatings,. & am jst 30yrs old, & wouldnt want to have any part of my body deformed as a result.

Your suggestions wil be greatly appreciated!

It's a demon spirit bothering you not your dad

DaCharis2016:
Pls what's d cost of it in Lagos?

,

I hope someone can answer

BItt:
Good evening everyone. I was having a discussion with a friend some hours ago. He was of the opinion that the reason why many eligible folks both men and women are unmarried is because of family support.

He argued that everyone at a point has met one person they would have loved to be with.

He was of the opinion that when there is family support (morally, counceling and financially), people will be willing to settle down.

What do you think

Settling down with family financial support ?
Then family will foot the wedding , pay bride price,pay rent,feed them, pay for maternity and baby upkeep while the couple just sleep together?

This thread I hope reaches the intending target i.e young women.
Let the hyperventilating boys who don't want you to heed sound advice continue breathing heavy.
Ladies please take heed
Zip your mouths.

Graxie:
The worst is in marriage, you will see a woman casting all her family members, telling the husband all the details of their past and when yawa gas, the horseband will use it to ridicule her for life.

All these team we don't keep anything from each other, una still dey learn work.

Very foolish thing to do
Meanwhile the man is protecting his own family's honor,his father may impregnate the gateman's daughter nobody will ever say it to her hearing but women will open mouth and be denigrating their birth family spilling all that happens in their father's house to their husbands.
Tufiakwa
Many young women need serious lessons on how to keep their mouths shut!

Kanbe:
Op, you know you've offered great tips when ladyboys start hyperventilating

Exactly.
When you see some small boys tying up their undies in a bunch after reading a post, u know you struck a chord

yomi007k:
What if the man asks a lady that has commited abortion if she has done it before.

You will advise the lady to lie or say nothing?

Why should a man ask a lady that foolish question in the first place?
For starters that is an intrusive question that is none of his business.
Will he tell her of any girls he had impregnated and if they did abortions and how many?
If he cannot answer that question she also cannot answer or can answer how she wishes.

Eediots.
Why don't they arrest real criminals.

Which dirty villages do all live in?
I never heard of bedbugs in townships.

Textra:
Please, bed bug is actually one of my greatest fear growing up. I can't just imagine having it in my room back then due to people experiences... The shame, if it follows me outside. Lo, and behold, I can't really say how it got it into my room. My fear has turn to reality now... I rented a room, clean it bought everything new, and after a year I allowed a friend to stay with me, whether it was from him or I got it somewhere else I don't know, but i am dying inside seeing it, I have tried all that I know... Killing it alone makes me wanna vomit... Please, what should I do, to eradicate this enemy.

Wash all your linens and clothes with hot water and iron them all to kill off any traces but before you do that throw your mattress away or burn it .

Na wa

This cannot be an Igbo man
No Igbo man breasfed by his mother could ever make such a request of their own child
Never!!
I have becer heard such a thing in my life
Sorry your dad is a very irresponsible man.
He has failed and also wants you to fail

Crossroad1:
It will end in premium tears.
I don't like when things like this happens, it put the child in a very tight bad spot...
Tell your dad you are not entitled to loan until after some years...
Tell him to get the loan somewhere else that you will help him offset it with your salary...
At least if he gets the loan, he will be able to pay it the same way he wish to pay if you help him obtain the loan..

Believe me, he will default and play the, "I am your father, I spent on you, I was indebted because of you card"

OP read this again

AutoChick4U:
Nigerian Parents and emotional Blackmail!!!! I can bet my imaginary balls his father won't pay back that loan and d op will b saddled with that gbese. When will he grow?

Exactly and he will come back with a thread begging for money.

Nelchuksmandela:
Good day Niralanders,

I need your sincere advice on my present situation.
Please ignore any grammatical error or punctuation. I’m the first son of my family, my father is an average Nigerian trader, he single handedly sponsored my schooling from nursery to higher institution.

After my service year, one of his friends scammed him of 300k in the name of they will get me a job in NUPENG before he paid that money I told him my pastor’s revelation about the NUPENG job, which my pastor said She does not like the job and shared ill references associated to the job with me and I told my dad when I got home, he countered and rebuked the revelation, he doesn’t take any of our advice, he finally fell for the scam.

To cut the long story short, I’m now working class that earn 75k monthly, however I’m still squatting with a friend and I’m still struggling to survive.

Recently I received a call from my dad, he told me he needs 500k for trading, that he wants me to take loan on his behalf he will be paying the debt once it’s due, since he is yet to complete the outstanding loan he took from the same bank, which is remaining 3 months to complete. I later discovered he had another debt he’s still servicing (Paying ) of a different bank that is remaining 6 months to complete.
After pondering over it i asked him; what if he defaults what will happen ? he shunned me and said why will I be negative and I politely told him my mind that I cannot help the current issue. Since then he started reporting me to my mum relatives to talk to in order to accept and collect the loan of 500k on his behalf.

Please your advise on this will be helpful.
Thank you.

Don't do it.
The fact you are asking this here tells me you already have a gut feeling about this.
He sponsored your education and so What?
That is his responsibility as a parent, it's nothing new
If he is unable to qualify for a loan in his own name he will not meet with conditions of payment and you will ruin your own future starting off life with a huge debt
Why would a parent even ask such from his own child
Please say no
This is a very unreasonable request
Your dad is very irresponsible going by his history.
Dont fall for his cheap manipulations or you will regret this .
Anyone advising otherwise is not wise.
Use your head and save yourself

Ewoo
She looks like someone already lying in state

This girl is very stupid o
Can she shut up already

OssyMalik:
Chief Imo na idiot aswear

Imo looks sexier

Some stupid girls will sleep with a new BF and start sharing her life history ,I have a confession to make,honey I have something to confess
He says what
I slept with Abba Kyari in 2012
Are you mad?
What for?
Who asked you?
Because of an infatuation that may not last 2 months.
The man has slept with every girl in the neighborhood including mama Nneka and treated Gono 20 times he won't say pim
And you are opening mouth like fish talking non stop
even telling how much in her account.
Ladies learn to talk less o

Mercychen:
As if they disclose theirs.

Some girls need to wise up.

I used to do that in the past but discovered they end up using it against me. So I've gotten wiser.

Now, don't come asking me if I've aborted in the past, that's not what I'm talking about. I don't have such past. Biko.

**Mouths sealed**

I jiya!!
Keep your mouth shut
Old things are passed away.
In the eyes of God it never happened,so it never happened.
Period.
I am glad you have learned.

Men have been sleeping around from time immemorial ,it seems not to make news,many don't see it as a big deal anymore but it is.

The news is different when a woman cheats,in fact men who sleep around would cry blue murder when their own wife gets caught in adultery.

The question is why do women cheat?

Men and women cheat for different reasons.
Men do it for the thrill of it, opportunity availed itself, stolen waters are sweet the bibke says,, some to prove their manhood and boast of their sexual conquests etc
Women cheat for an entirely different reason.
No woman who is emotionally satisfied in a relationship will cheat.
I repeat.
If you are handling business well, no woman will cheat on you
Never.
Women cheat when the emotional connection is not in the marriage or relationship.
She is talking to you,you are flipping through your phone,glued to the TV
She is pouring out her heart, you rush her through or shut her down, start snoring
She is telling you the housework, babies and your family members are sapping her emotionally and you carry your own wahala join ,yelling at her like she were a kid
You don't listen to her
You don't connect to her
You disrespect and call her names
You are hardly there ,always gone
You are there but you seem faraway,engrossed always in your own stuff.

She will look for other means to fulfill those emotional needs youre unable to meet and it will happen in one or two or both ways.

1.Some will become church and religious junkies. Running from programme to programme,from one prophet to another looking to fill the need with church activities

2.Some will seek out another male to pour their hearts to ,a co worker,an old flame or even a pastor.

Those men will listen to her, give her time and attention, empathize accordingly to the things she's been trying to tell you, be concerned with her about your lack of love and naturally she becomes emotionally attached to them.
They are listening to her
Something you've been unable to do
That bond she could have had with you,she has with that other man,sometimes the pastor who has been listening and praying with her will become that man
Once a woman is emotionally attached to another man,she sees him as very physically attractive too.
It's a matter of time.

If your woman cheats on you,you are not providing her emotional needs.
If you are sincere with yourself,you'll agree.
You can argue all you want but this is the truth

1.They don't really love them

2.Temptations

3.They have been there before

4. Abuse from " the one they love"

5.lustful spirit

6.The one they love is not good in bed

7.The thrill of it

8. Their partner is not emotionally connected.This last point is why women cheat

I dont even know why young ladies feel the need to confess up and down to men things they would never know.
Ladies please learn to keep your mouths shut.
Stop telling boyfriends how many men you have slept with before you met them.
Stop telling them when you err
Stop seeking forgiveness up and down
Stop being needy.
Please stop it!!

If you've committed abortions ,tell it to God,repent and do it no more.
You don't need to tell your life stories to boyfriends.
Your past is your past,keep it there.
Stop getting too emotional ,not good for you.
These things only hurt you in the end
Many of these men have procured countless abortions for people,raped women, raped little girls,slept with people's wives and grandmothers,some have slept with their fellow men, paid and slept with prostitutes,done yahoo, were cultists on campus, stolen and done all manner of evil in their past, they don't tell those stories to every girl they meet.
They ask God to forgive and turn a new leaf and move on.
But females will let their emotions take over and be answering questions no one asked them.

This is a timely advice
Ladies please stop tarnishing your image with your own mouths.
Those same boyfriends will be sharing your conversations all over the place even on nairaland.
Zip your mouths
Pass on this timely advice to your friends.

I dont even know why women feel the need to confess up and down when she claimed nothing happened, something this man would never do.
Ladies please learn to keep your mouth shut.
Stop telling boyfriends how many men you have slept with before you met them.
Stop telling them your when you err
Stop seeking forgiveness up and down
Stop being needy.

If you've committed abortions ,tell it to God,repent and do it no more.
You don't need to tell your life stories to boyfriends.
Your past is your past
Stop getting too emotional ,not good for you.
These things only hurt you in the end
Many of these men have procured countless abortions for people,raped women, raped little girls,slept with people's wives and grandmothers,somehave slept with their fellow men, paid and slept with prostitutes,done yahoo, were cultists on campus,, stolen and done all manner of evil in their past, they don't tell those stories to every girl they meet.
They ask God to forgive and turn a new leaf and move on.
But females will let their emotions take over and be answering questions no one asked them.

Ladies please stop tarnishing your image with your own mouths.
Those same boyfriends will be sharing your conversations all over the place

BBBricks:
reminds me of one nairaland moniker



#hungerbad!



#itiswell!

Of blessed memory

ProfGday:
U sure say na inside bush ur bros killed this pig so?

Cos it looked like a domestic pig wey strayed go bush go see him sidechick

Bush pigs are hairy and brown in color,this is a domestic pig

Kadejo:
I meet this lady during COVID-19 pandemic period which was last year May 2020. She is still a student in a reputable University here in Nigeria, 300Level to be precise. She is 25years old.
She has insisted that until she finishes her school, gone for service and do what ladies call "Sisi" for at least another one year, she won't get married. That will be about 4years to this time.

I am in my mid 30s already, working class, earn below #70k per month, also into IT business, willing to get married now because I feel lonely, also need to build a family of my own before I turn 40yrs.

This lady in question appears to show me love, that's to her own way, my orientation is a bit different, I love her too anyways.

But would you advice I wait for her till she is done with all she has said or should I leave her and look for someone else to get married to?

Please, no insult, advice needed from experienced person.

Thank you.

Speaking to you as a female, a married female i will tell you sincerely that she is not the one for you.
She wants to keep you on the side while she gives herself time to hunt for a better catch.
I can bet money on this
She will leave you within the 4 years and marry someone else.
She will only only marry you after the 4 years if she doesn't find a better alternative.
If you were my brother or friend I will say find someone else who loves you now enough to marry you as you are right now.
She is not the one for you and that is exactly what is saying by that condition she gave you.
Cut her loose now!!

Na today?
Hopefully the borrowed European fund go reach una.
Bubu is werking