₦airaland Forum

Ifyalways yuru nsi na church gbaa oso, Ifyalways

After reading this, am afraid my genitals might be missing.

Oohhh my God I said it, its gone.

@Topic
Good question.

I once had someone ask me same question but phrased differently, he said "would you rather be a sad Socrates or a happy fool", so is it to say that "bliss is ignorance or ignorance is bliss".

I have seen men and women who believe that intellectual rigor would lead to true happiness, but the more they know the sadder they are, others think love would lead to happiness, but they soon find out that the most beautiful of roses has its own thorns.

Another one said the directions to the house of happiness could be bought with money, only he doesn’t know how much it would cost. Ohh I know said another, I saw the man named happiness in the house of power, unfortunately for him he was given the thrown, he looked in all the rooms in the grand palace and happiness was no where to be found.

The smartest of them said it’s an endless race, what’s him name again.

Ohh yea Solomon said all is vanity.

But I say live for something, if only it keeps evil thoughts away from you, as they say "what man/woman is a man/woman who doesn't make the world better. I guess that’s what TJ meant. They say vision is the art of seeing the invincible. TJ thinks men/women have the right to pursue what they might never attain.

Like Saint Francesco of Assisi placed it and I write:

Even if a man gives a shining example of the holy life to everyone perfect joy does not lie in this.

If a man makes the cripple walk, the blind see perfect joy does not lie in this.

If a man speak in angels tongues, convert all unbelievers, if he understands the courses of the stars and the virtue of herbs, if he knows the treasures of the earth and the properties of birds and fishes and all other animals, and can even grasp the nature of tress and stones, of roots and waters, note it well and carefully write it down, perfect joy does not lie in this.

But when the world persecutes you wrongly, and lay false blames on you and you bear it amicably without murmuring, this is where perfect joy lies.

That poses another question then. Did our Lord Jesus Christ live a happy life? Am sure many would want there name to reign like his, but would they choose his definition of happiness as interpreted in his actions and confirmed by Saint Francesco?

Am sure most won’t agree with that.

Look my dear; you raised a mind bugging question.

ifyalways:
GC ole ije?
Sheniqua,seriously ole gi now?

Ndia i'na akpo aha, ha ji gi ugwo, ka ha anara gi di? eeeehhhnnnnn? 

ifyalways:
Ikomi bu onye mkpumkpu,onye mkpukpu ka o bu !
      Ikomi ole ihe mere i jiri di mkpumkpu otua?

What about a round applause, Ha!
A standing ovation.

ifyalways:
ole Ikomi?Ikomi i gaghi agbata ya na oso.owu mu na gi ugbua
Ikomi 2008 !

Look NnenneIgbo/Ifyalways rapu(ma owuru Radiant) Ikomi, Infact am giving my last post in here, before u make me say things I don't want to.

Now u take care, be lucky and I wish u the best.

Goodbye love

ifyalways:
Umu igbo o nwere ajuju dim oke nkpa.onye mara ya kowara m n"ihi na ikwu amaghi ibe ezi ya and also oko kowa mmadu _{dika o korom last wk} o gakwuru mmadu ibe ya o nyere ya aka koo d oko ojoo.
ajujum bu
o nwela onye n'ime anyi nweturu experience a ma o bu o nwere onye nwere idea ihe nwere ike ime ma udika ihe a mee na ala igbo.
O buru na a na agba nkwu nwanyi,e bunye nwanyi a biara ilu mmai ka o ga bunye onye choro ilu ya,d nwanyi a buru onye mmai _{like Ikomi} ,o buru na by mistake a si ya detu mmai onu ga bugara onye luga ya nke foronu BUT nwanyia a nwucha mmai ahu by mistake ole ihe a ga eme ya?
@all otu rove

Now thats a very technical questions, I'd just give u the rules.

Udiri ihe ahu meee, ana alu udi nwanyi ahu on probation, whereby the probation period is determined by her potential di. If the man comes back to say that the lady's attitude to nmayi has not improved after the probation period, aga enye ya back half the dowry he paid, with the believe he has enjoyed the other half. whether he keeps the lady or not is now determined by the father-in-law, but most smart di's do keep the lady, cos umu nwanyi nna alike nkwu na di baaaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeddddddddddd.  

It happened in Abakiliki. Anyi jere iluru Ikomi nwanyi. So it happened that my father-in-law to be, mu na ya na ata nkwu na ofu bar, so we all somehow knew each others secret. Which he wasn't comfortable with.

Like one of his secrets I know so well wu dat na ya na nwanyi nwe bar na akpa, and nwanyi nwe bar awugi nwuye ya. So even if I become his son-in-law what guts has he got to tell me not to cheat on the daughter even if I so do? Do u understand?

So on the igba nkwu day everyone was soooo happy, including my mother-in-law to be. The only sad guy was the father-in-law and only me and him knew why. And one of his other grievance with me is dat would I be able to take care of his daughter considering the level of my nkwu intake. And I reassured him not to worry over that, that his daughter is in save hands. But Ify u know they always say "The evil that men do lives after them" but now "it lives with them". Madam Rebecca that owns the bar was more of his problem.

Well the D-day is here no going back. And u know that one of the rules of Igba nkwu is that when the girl is given the palmmy to take a little and pass the rest to his supposed darling, if she takes a little of the palmmy and spits it out of her mouth the Igba nkwu stops there, it means she is not happy with the man and the marriage.

So the father knowing this decided to pour Ogogoro into the cup the girl was about to drink from and pass to me. The fathers believe was that since the girl has never tasted any alcohol, if she takes a sip of the ogogoro she would spit it out and I would have to be disappointed on that day, and go home without her daughter as everything would there and then be cancelled by Ikwu na Ibe.

The father filled the cup to the brim and gave it to the girl to take a sip and pass the rest to me. Look Ify if I tell u she did not pass the cup that would be a lie, she did pass the cup, but it was empty. Nwa finished the ogogoro. Dont ask me how I knew it was ogogoro in the cup, cos I could smell it.

I stood up from my sit, consulted with her dad privately, my words exactly were "papa Nkechi we would suspend all activities right here until further notice". The man started pleading with me that he never knew she was like dat, that I should not bring shame on him. I told him "a man should hang his coat, where his hands can reach. papa Nkechi ike nwangi aghagi adim."

Av not contacted him till date, but I learnt Nkechi now has 8 kids from different fathers and she is still living at home.

Look Ify u asked a very technical question.  

Negro_Ntns:
Omoovie,

Your aggregate for backside na TKO. I dey behind you last time u reach down grab something for floor. Lord haf mercy, this woman go make me passout! The flashing wey u flash me still dey my head since nefer comot. Na God save me sey I no dey on top ladder de time, na so i for loose balance fell off. Efen sef sey my two foot dey ground i still catch wobble for my waka.

e consain me say u go begin yarn "hanashite kudasai" all that ikebe come turn flat and ya eye begin squint nah.

Holy Moses. Now thats way beyond me.

ifyalways:
eyaaah.
***hugs and kissess** abumkwam onye Abia steeti.o dikwa egwu,umu asa nile na abia na threadia na abukari ndi Abia state  ndeewo. i luola di?  e nwere nwannem nwoke ezigbo mmadu na acho nwanyi,aha ya bu ikomi  give me the go ahead,i would haziela everytin kama be well aware na nut puru di man na isi infact o na eme mkopu  but he can be managed sha 

LOL

rubi:
@ifyalways Ekelem gi n' concern inwere n'ebem no aluolam di with kids

Mu'wa aluola di, sorry aloulam nwanyi with childrens. How about that? Iji kids muwa ji childrens equation balanced. 

omoovie:
Dear drr--I jus tire--

What I posted is called a "jazzman tactic" in my inner encyclopaedia! It was meant to incite you enough to answer the questions in a straightforward manner without mincing words. As you have answered my questions so thoroughly u don't have any worries again. Feel free to learn Pidgin! Who knows, maybe u will get a homegirl to gree for you with enough struggle eh?

*wink* *wink* *blink* *blink*

Na jazzman u carry enter here agannn? Air comodore. Ur own too musssh, na soso question with big grammar u go dey ask onye ocha, u be satellite? shhhheeeeewwwwww.

Na wetin u do sooteeeeey wey make Negro Lock Jaw. I pray make Yaradua con find u carry u comot 4 Nairaground. LOL

I hope am down.

Does a soldier serve in the army at his own expense? Fromuk/Presido ike gi agwu wa'nam. If NnenneIgbo was here am I would have handed u to her and she would have reinforced/remind u of ur limits, just in case u might have forgotten. For it is very wise for every man to know his limits. Keep it coming, I wish u had one username so that I would know exactly who am dealing with, maybe its a man without a nation or one without status. Fromuk, now who wants to know where ur from? Presido is that a title? Wokem took time.

BabyO/Nwando (you're never sure who ur dealing with) thanks for the song inugo? I never knew u wanted it so bad, na clubu . Nne Ike agagi ekwem people would be watching, anyi ga acho room inugo?

And to my friends I say hello.

Ifyalways onwere ihe nwere igba Pres?

Tim is a true political analyst, whenever I listen to him, Chuck Todd, and Rachel Maddow, I feel like I have gotten the whole story.

Death is a fisherman, but he is not like other fishers be. When they catch a small fry they throw it back - then it will live. But death is sure to kill all that comes to net.

Goodbye Tim. Everyone who keenly follows American politics would sure miss him.

ifyalways:
Yes,though its gradually fading in some quarters
Nweke. . . .male boen on "eke" mkt day
Nwaorie. . . .male born on "orie" mkt day
Nwafor. . . male born on"afor" mkt day.
Nwankwo. . . .male born on "nkwo" mkt day.
Eke nma . . . female born on "eke" mkt day.
The Igbos have just foue days in their calendar,hence da four mkt days.
@da Ifeomas in da house

Yeah just like we have Nwanyisunday ------- meaning a woman that got married on a _________  _{fill the gap}

ifyalways:
o nanai nkea ka i ga ahu. ahu niile na akom ako.from isi to nkpirisi akam ihe e kweghim a typu sef Oko a dikwa,Imakwa Ikomi,egwuregwu lakwa azu,d oko na akom na even na ime ime ozougwu central ihe nkea dikwa egwu.don't worry tho,Fake zuru ka eme

Are u sure? He might need an extra hand, ima na ike na agwu woke sometimes, I can start where he stops, if at all the OKO doesn't stop. And u never know which hand(lets say man) would stop the OKO finally. You know aka Fake ndiri ntakiri like that of lollipop, OKO ahu ga ako gi more, but with a hand like mine. Look Ify u can depend on me.

ifyalways:
Ikomi a maghim na i kporom ugwo like this o kwa gi gwara nwoke chemist ahu bi na azu ulo anyi ka o nyem chloroquine tablets instead of panadol m gara izu ekwurekwu ekweghim lee d mkpuru ogwu anya tupu consumption,kemgbe abali ato,ahu niile,ihe niile na akom oko. .Ikomi

When u say that ihe nile na ako gi oko, where exactly ka the oko nna ako gi? Let me know, I might be able to help, if the oko is in the right region

Daily Trust: But the reviewer of the book, Prof Adele Jinadu, faulted Nwosu for blaming the annulment on nameless and faceless colleagues of Babangida. "What then does this tell us about President Babangida that he was not in control, a mere figurehead or harlequin? If so, who then was in control?" he asked.

If Nwosu is not trying to fool Nigerians, then he must be taking a good aim at himself. What a liar, he didn't even have the guts to give names after 15 years for true justice to prevail.

Nwosu's name should be in a database of the most untrustworthy Nigerians.

presido1:
Ikomi try mezue the nut two or three as the falling rate di too much.

Since u know how much the nuts has been falling, that means u've been following me about and probably eating the nuts. In-short ihuna gi presido iwu squirrel, ina atasi my nuts.

ikamefa:
shuo@ omoovie

why bodi dey pepper you na? you for cool-down grab one oyinbo bros too na!, mean while carry yah wahala go front small!

makaginni!

Make una see Ika oooohhhh, where u go since? Long time no see. If u nooo tell me where u go since u go see gbege.

To my lovely ghettobaby


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AloB01qu50Y&feature=related

Ify                  , ugboro ole kam lere ghi?

Now wats her name babyo, shinequa, Nwando, e.t.c. Isi na owu ndi ekere ubochi sunday? So what makes ndi ekere other weekdays inferior?  How are u sure na ndi ekere ubochi Wednesday can't swing better? 

jennykadry:
presido na ify anya na fu kwa nu.display of love unu adigo too much

Pres lol, Igbo si na nmadi na agafe don't be silly, odim ka nkeghi is getting to licensed to be silly. 

Unu si na nuts puru Ikomi na isi? Ikomi himself has been wondering although he always thought na owu a few bolts dapuru. Well now that he knows na owu nuts nga achowa replacement. That brings another problem, kee nke nga etinye, owu ground, ka owu cashew, ka owu kola? Inshort nga etinye all the nuts at least that would asure Ikomi na onwere spare nuts, incase any decides to dapula again.

ifyalways:
ka guo isi gi na okwute  infact welite agba gi elu 
have i jumped on you yet?     were tenor na bass were kwuo d okwu,Ikomi talk da talk or tinye ya na radio Nigeria ihe m emetuna ihe gi before?  that reminds me,ole anwuruoku sef?  okwa i kwere m nkwa na i ga achotaram di,d very day i ga alu pinky , that same day i would be wedding Darfur  _{yes ! any comments?} guy,wepu that anya 4:30 gi na ahum buko. 
Ikmoi ga luo nwanyi,stop jumping from pinky to reddy 

Gaaaaaaaa luoooooooooo di, the whole thread is saying gaaaaaaaaaa luooooooooo di.

All we are sayyyyyyyiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnngggggggggg Ify ga luo di

Last lady standing 

Ujo ulu di odighi?

Ify gaa choro di luo, stop jumping from one to the other. 

Good Idea

Ikomi = I-k-o-m-i = Ki-me-mo-rin-ki = Kimemorinki now thats my name, av always wanted a long name.

How do u say it, does it sound as its written? 

ifyalways :
Romy na Ikomi ole ubochi unu abuo ga eyipu panti unu gbara oto luo ogu.a gam a likei i bu refree ubochi ahu.nani mu,no linesman.

Ad tell u a story, ima nam wu story man.

This story really happened, at Portharcourt, it was one of the Ghetto areas which we invariable call slum.

A teenage girl got pregnant, so after serious beaten by the father, she told the mother exactly what happened.

What happened was that she had it with John and Etiebet, on the same day at the same time in the same room.

Now that is not the funny side of the story, the funny side comes quite later, well at least it was - to me - one of the funniest things av ever encountered.

The mother in annoyance mixed with suprise ran to the street shouting that Ete and Johnny have killed her and her daugther, that both of them slept with her at the same time. So everybody came to pacify mama Edna. But while they were all asking her to stop crying, many had 2 important question on their mind, how can pelenge (meaning slim) Edna take Johnny and Ete at the same time, and who would the baby's father be.

Well that day went by without anyone actually voicing there curiosity.

After 2 days then the argument was very strong at the nearby bar (pub), who the father of the baby should be.

Some said Johnny would definitely be the father, since his got more muscles than Ete, that he must have applied the higher force in the intercourse, some argued that u can't say its Johnny since the girl (Edna) has already admitted that Ete went first, so it must be Ete.

It was so funny to see locals argue with all there myth on these two different views which some believed lacked medical merit.

Anyway some came up with the option of DNA, but u know Naija now, 1) DNA test is quite expensive and 2) Not much hospitals could provide this test then.

So Ify one other day still at the bar oohhh, cause everyone knew everyone, we decided to vote, those who believed that it is Johnny based on his muscular strength to a side, those who believe its Ete because he went in first to one side, while some who were undecided and could not provide the money for DNA tests decided we should wait till the baby is born, so that we could determine the father by who the baby resembles the most between John and Etiebet.

Waiting till the baby is born so we could determine the father from who the baby resembles, in itself wasn't  a perfect solution. What if the baby resembles Edna, its back to square one. Ify it was so funny in the bar those days as it was a very serious argument then, lol.

God I wish those days would come back, same kind of friends, everything seemed like a joke.

Dont ask me what finally happened, I moved on and left them on the matter, but later in the future I met John who would not admit that his the baby's father as Ete wont either. But I know Edna must have gone through hell. She was just another poor girl that experimented. When I mean poor I mean poor, in any way u can imagine poor. That was the pathetic side of the story.

But every argument in the bar was a wonderful, ignorant joke.

Nwamdo kee kwan?

Ify how now?

Any other person, I say how now?

Ikuku onaaa ebu ugwu(mountain)?

Bakkassi . The sold my state out.

Tamunoseipirioku. Is that Ijaw or Okrika.

Although we call her Tammy for short.

Names like that makes u wonder why the word abbreviation is so long.

romeo:
akwa iko?

I said it. Someone is pushing me. Wokem gaa feee ma ichoo iga feee, but akwana'm aka.

ifyalways:
Pres a maghim na ihughim na anya.nani otu onye kam huru na anya buko.others, ahurm ha na imi ma obu na akpa ya   lol.
infact,ka m bejere Fake di akwa,o ma etu asi m ndo.i would soon be laffing,watch.infact i would have the longest and best laff soon   o ga eme gi na anya.
mu na anwuruoku  
Ikomi biko nye anwuruoku ma contacts,o jim na njo.   delay is dangerous.

Okay ohhhhh, ad let him know.

ifyalways:
lmao
vuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuM indeed.Ikomi over to you.two down unu e mere ya straight ka o bu in a chamfa way? o wurukwa chamfa ka i chara d thing ,then is going to be ejimas.2 by 2 o gbara ole?

jukwa Pres ego ole nri nwa na ada now.you might be needing a contribution soon. not to worry though,you can always count on us.

Am out. Take care. Echi is calling, onaghi alike ka'm na ekwu all this things gi na Pres ina ekwu. Good night all.

ifyalways:
i hope soooooo.if you can wait,nsogbu a dighi.
mana o buru na a ga ebu uzo mee d blades sharpening before using then count me out buko,a naoghim na push and start moto.ihe m choro bu authomatic,manuals a digo outdated.
Ikomi so i bu push and start? don't talk to me again buko

No worries

ifyalways:
o buzi mu na anwuruoku now.anwuruoku 2008  

Way to go  

presido1:
Ikomi na Echi ana m ekele

Tank ko

ifyalways:
ole ihe jikoro udele na barber?
i ga echere till 2010 mgbe m nwere ike igba aji be that now for now,am aji*less
i meaniru na i bu barber?lmao . . . .praying mantis ha,ndi okpo.
Ikomi a gwakwala Pres ihe niile m gwara gi today Pres wukwa radio without battrey.
Ok buy garri,nsi a kpawalam.lol
kelerem ndi enyi gi niile,gwa ndi iro gi na ha no na nsogbu.
otu rove _{Romy buko there is kpom dia}

No worries, as long as my clipper is still working ur covered, and if by any chance the blades needs to be worked on ad get it ready, u wont be disappointed.

Ur wellcome, take care. Soo ichoghi anwuruoku ma main men.

Anyway we shall see and please let me know when aji grows, Ana'm arunkwa barber, so ur in safe hands.

Ndoooooooooooo ohhhhhhhhh, that is why we always warn umuaka to mind udi woke ha naa eso. Umuaka ndaaa nna eyi jeans all the time, ha anagi apuru jeans ha waist wu a big waste of time. Thats not my total view of it oohh, just joking.

If u mean what u've said am really sorry, but anaghi ekpo ngwagwu hapu iga ogu, my heart has been broken so many times, that I wonder how its still pumping blood.

Amaghim ma iwotele onye ozo iga alu, one of my friends na acho nwuye, aha ya wu anwuruoku (smoke). Dont mind his name he's a good guy, and onaghi acho uka although odi uka.  

But overall his a nice guy would u like to meet him?