₦airaland Forum

Klass99:
It is mostly because you grow up seeing your father's relatives & people behave badly, selfishly and very entitled in your household. Your father's relatives are the ones who would usually visit empty handed and still pilfer things from your home like foodstuffs and clothing material. When they visit and go, you notice your fine fluffy body towel which you washed and spread outside is gone .

They are the ones who visit and sit or lay on the sofa with their feet up. Comandeering the TV, remote control and what channel to watch. When they live with you, they tend to be lazy around the house, not assisting with chores like washing the car or sweeping the compound. Their own is to eat, watch TV and waka about as they like.

Your mother's relatives & people on the other hand, visit with the little they can afford like oranges, yams, sweet potatoes etc. They are more respectful and helpful around the house with chores. They don't operate with that annoying sense of entitlement, this is our sister's house, the way a man's relatives operate with, this is our brother's house I can bloody well do as I please

Your mother's relatives endear themselves to you through their good conduct and deeds, while your father's relatives don't. Before you argue with me, think about what I have said, take the time to reflect and ponder upon it, and you will realize my post was either your reality as a child or an accurate analysis of this situation.

A man's relatives can be too entitled and selfish, especially when that man is rich, successful and doing well. Na that time dem go carry, blood is thicker than water, on their heads like die. They don't help the man pay bills in his house, but they feel very entitled to his money, help and every good thing in his home. Rather than work for their own success they make that man their second saviour and the goose who lays the golden eggs.

It's like they showed you pepper. Some of them behave really badly.

In my case, my father's relatives behaved themselves around my mum. The relationship on both sides were almost same. I remember my mum's brother that never came to visit without suya. We knew him for that. My dad's bro used to bring goodies too.

Some families that suffer this issue is mostly because of what you mentioned and sometimes distance could make families not get close.

Holluwatarhyor:
It's not about gender,some women actually cut relationship from their husband's side,but not all.

I have a friend,his mom always host all her grand children every Easter and Christmas,the grand children will be in her place for at least a week,bonding with each other,I think that's cool.

When such children continue with this till they get married,their children will automatically be closed to each other,either paternal or maternal

If a woman can cut relationship ties with her husband's family, what is the husband doing? Are the children not equally his?

I'm close to cousins from my father and mother that stayed in Lagos. For me, none of my inlaws stay in Lagos while all my siblings live in Lagos. So who do you think the kids will be close to more?

Besides, it's grandmas who have the time and energy to bring their grandkids together that do what you mentioned.

There are so many reasons why kids are close to some cousins more than others. If we think about it deeply, we will see that the wife is not always the culprit.

Wenby:
We didn't build our relationship on sex I can tell you we only had sex twice or three times in whole years of relationship sir , please don't be quick to cast blame on people that brought their issues to the internet and still say stuff that will hurt their mental health the more ,am an hardworking woman I have vision ,just that my husband is not vision driven as I am which is drawing me back ,that is why am seeking honest opinion , please put me in position of one of your relatives and don't cause me more pain ,is life all about sex if that is what your life is build on it's fine ,if u go through my messages properly u can the whole six years I went to institution I graduated I started working and making plans with this year's is not about sex mr , next time don't cause people more pain with your point thank you

The issue is the fact that you still went ahead to marry him with the basket full of red flags. He was drawing you back but you still married him. Marriage has made making a decision complicated.

burritto:
Sir I do not know who you are or what you are, but one thing I’ll tell you for free today is that I made most of my money in Nigeria. I have lived in the western world too and I can confidently say that I’ve traveled to more than 50 different countries and been to 6 continents. I am not that kind of guy who talks out of point, every of my words are calculated. That been said, nobody has any excuse to be poor and blame Nigeria. I would like to remain anonymous, would have shown you how much I made alone this year in Nigeria from my company’s statement. I don’t even live in Nigeria FYI.

2012 alone, I landed 3 federal contracts where I built one hospital and 2 road construction. These 3 contracts are not less than 800million Naira.

I have also landed a a single road construction job worth 740 million Naira in 2010 in that same Nigeria. Sir, I am not a politician.

Anybody can make money anywhere and stop saying that it is only politicians that are rich.

I will not insult you the same way you insulted me, but I’ll let you know that there is money in Nigeria.

The bolded is not an informed statement. You are judging everyone from your point of view. You have not dealt with people from the "lows". You have not heard people's stories, people that have everything working against them even from birth. Do some break free? Yes. But not all.

Just be grateful for how far you have achieved and don't despise those that didn't have your opportunities.

It depends on which family members they are exposed to or the ones in close proximity. If the father is close to his siblings and they live in the same city or state, the kids will be close to them. But if it's the mum's people, same goes.

Some want to make it a gender thing and bash women as usual. As a man, if you say your wife is the cause, how come you are also not making your kids close to your family?

Cocopops

I'm confused...is she your wife or "this girl I'm married to". They are quite different.

twinning200:
Guys i have actually been seeing comments and the bashing here and there. True one should always talk things through with ones partner rather than bringing it here. Trust me am already 10years into this, and yall can imagine that plenty different abnormal things that ought to have been corrected over the years is something we are still battling with? I never would have come out here to say anything if it aint something I have been tolerating for years. Is it just this one? Hell naw, I have actually given up, so sometimes when I come here, some response gives me hope or better still good advises on what I can do to make things better.

Madam has cleanness issue, disorganization, the children are already adapting and adopting that same lifestyle, I am saddened, I have tried my best to annul this traits but to no avail. Being transparent nko! Never! she would claim the reason I lied about my location, or lied about something else is to avoid being shouted at, a man wont shout if its not something that is being continually complained about. Alot is going on, my brother and sis, marriage isnt for the faint hearted, the life span of majority will dwindle in this current generation we are in. I am exhausted.

Marriage is one place that is really not for the faint hearted as you have stated, and we have to develop a tough skin and drop our expectations.

There are some traits that you may have overlooked while dating that has come to rear it's ugly head in marriage. Marriage decision is one of the most important decisions we will ever make as per choosing a partner because when the love clears from our eyes, our faults are magnified.

Right now, it is either you want to stay and manage her excesses or walk away. But bringing your wife's faults here for strangers to bash her is not something you should do if your marriage means anything to you.

You will agree with me that you also have faults that she complains about, except you want to say you are the perfect one while she's the only one with issues. But we know that can't be true. Imagine reading a post from your wife here, how would you feel?

Some guys here will capitalize on your wife's faults and try to sow a seed of discord between you two. However, it is your marriage. If you decide to listen to prejudiced people concerning your marriage, that is on you.

Since your wife doesn't seem to take corrections about the things you have hammered on, you could try counselling, talking to an elder in her family, etc. Exhaust all options till you are left with no other choice.

MadarasBlade:
So osinachi's husband was right in every sense to control his wife's finances after all, even when she earned higher. I learn new things on nairaland everyday, people seem to change the narrative when it doesn't suits them.

Madam, who provides for the family calls the shots E.O.D.

Your understanding of my comment is quite interesting. It's funny how you got all this Osinachi matter from my comment.

And oga, money doesn't call the shots in marriage. But if you see money as a tool for oppression and dominance, then that is your own situation. There is no E.O.D here Mister. You are not the standard

NoToPile:
Haa! I panicked when I saw the picture oo.

Imagine if you are the one taking the picture.

Ishilove:
Her balance is amazing for her age

Yeah she's 8months. She started it at 6months.

I can only vouch for thermocool and some others.

Mariangeles:
For real? A future gymnast.
It's her balance for me.

I see her winning gold medals for Nigeria in the Olympics.

This I've seen.

Lol...it's their thing with their dad. Was same thing he did with the first. Someone said the way they trust their dad not to make them fall is the way we should put our trust in God

Lol @ crawling into the oven

The attached is not photoshopped

ahnie:
Onto wildrawal method

until the children reach 6

Richy4:
At all.. it takes a porn star and an expert who knows how to control his brain to do that... Even at that, research has shown that it doesn't work even when the man pulls out.. some Sperm without GPS will still leave the man's body first and still find their destination

GPS

Richy4:
U no no how that statement dey pain.. ..
The most annoying ones are those in the refugee camp... Dem dey stay for makeshift, common sense no let them no say it's not a good idea to bring in a second or third person into the world..

To pull out no easy .

Nice post.

Such people use "it is God's that gives children" to mask their inability to plan their procreation/family. They now use their children to litter the streets.

And for you OP, be finding fault every Monday and keep thinking what you are thinking, till your pettiness will cost your marriage.

emmanuelbrown26:
U don't just insult an elder on public forum unless there's no elders in your lineage
D gods are wise

Let's just end this discussion. Your way of reasoning is reducing my IQ. Would rather engage someone more objective in his reasoning.

Have a great day.

uthlaw:
there mum went to hotel for hookup,you didn't see that!

Source?

Or it's just another female bashing thread.

Ishilove:
Oh, it has EVERYTHING to do with this thread. You seem very opinionated about how a man should handle his marital affairs, so one should expect you are speaking from a position of practical experience.

He can't answer that question because he's not just single but a single ignoramus who always has something childish and silly to say about marriage issues.

emmanuelbrown26:
When somebody is handling 75% of bills, automatically d person should be in charge of d affairs of that institution.
U didn't mention d husband's first annoyance.
U didn't ask d husband for long it has being going on like that?
For d husband to come on nairaland and say things like this, shows that he has seen more than what he wrote.

Whoever is handling the bills should not determine who is in charge. By your reasoning, that would mean that if things were to change and the woman is handling most of the bills, she will be in charge also. She can wake up by 8am and expect her husband to have made her breakfast.

For the husband to come on Nairaland for something his wife explained to him which happens just once a week, means he is not supportive or he's just a nag

emmanuelbrown26:
READ AGAIN AND SEE WHERE D ANNOYANCE IS

You won't last a month in marriage if you want to start counting the things you should overlook.

I'm sure the ops wife forgives him of his trespasses too. Because it's not like he's perfect and doesn't offend.

emmanuelbrown26:
Considerstion u say? when one thinks that he has heard it all, in d next minutes same daughters of eve woupd just tell u no, u are yet to hear more.
Non of u even condemned what d wife did, but u ladies are just after d man.
For d man to come on nairalsnd to voice out his anger shows that he has torelated enough.
Well, i only blame men that can't just call their wives to order.

Sweetheart what is the wife's offence?

emmanuelbrown26:
Since he is d one handling d family bills, is should never be your headache, all these daughters of eve will always be daughters of eve. Same attribute from their earthly mother just in different ways.
Non of u daughters of eve even said anything about d wife, but u all came for d husband's head.

He said he handles 75% of the bills, not all. Besides it's his word against hers. If we ask her, she could also say she's the one that handles 75% of the bills.

But you as usual are quick to jump at anything that in anyway puts a woman in a bad light. Then you will scream your "victim and emotional" mantra

It is either you don't love your wife or you don't trust her. So you cannot wait for her to get back and you tell her what she did was wrong. Instead you are bringing her matter to Nairaland so that those bitter and bias guys will help you bash her.

So you can't make breakfast for yourself on Mondays or find an alternative. Only Mondays o. You seem like someone that prefers to complain and find fault instead of leaving room for consideration. Please talk with your wife like a husband should and stop whining here.

YoudeyVexme:
truth be told, I'm not impressed. I can't hide it my people. we played a team that enugu rangers can defeat hands down.

This is not to discredit our eagles, the fact that we couldn't defeat Ghana to secure the ticket to world cup just few months ago says it all and today we wining 10 0 for afcon qualifers?.

what a pathetic joke.

I'm so angry right now, the more the goals were coming the more my angrier grew. the super eagles just showed other african countries their weak spot.

They showed other african countries they can't stand an average team talkless of a stronger opponent.

I Know I share same thought with lot of nigeria's out here.

so what do you think are you impressed or not?

Well, I don't think they were playing to impress you. Your being impressed or not is inconsequential to them.

care4you:
N1,500?

Imo State guys will never cease to amaze me!

Make una get sense small oo


...

It has to 1,500 usd or pounds

Michelle55:
The picture quality didn't do justice to the food, is this how bad the Oppo camera is?
I was expecting some nice-looking food display. It ends up making the food look unappealing

I'm actually trying to understand your comment.

How do you know it is an Oppo phone? Are you upset in anyway that the op bought an Oppo phone?

Or is there some kind of previous bad blood between you and the op?

Ammishaddai:
Nice one. Shebi all these worthless hungry girls like rolling with the rich bad guys because they thought the good guys were broke , boring and quiet . Now see where it has led to. All the suya ,recharge cards, 150k allowance ,and Brazilian hair all led to this painful exit. Anyway, RIP to dead

Why do some of you like talking without reasoning properly. What does being with a rich guy have to do with domestic violence? It seems you are allergic to riches? Besides, don't you see several poor people killing their wives.