₦airaland Forum

Focusmind:
10 years and in J.S 2

I don't know why parents in Nigeria push their kids to skip levels in their education. Where are we rushing them? My daughter is eight years and in primary 4 and doing very well. She must be well rounded and up to 11 or 12 before proceeding to secondary, J.S 1

My son is seven and in primary 3. He was given double promotion but I told the proprietress that he must do primary 3 instead of moving him from primary two to four.

Two of them must do primary six and be between 11 and 12 years before entering J.S.S 1. There is no rushing. Slow and steady gets you there. Nigerian parents would want their kids to be 14 years and done with secondary school.

Just get him a private school teacher and let him make friends with good pupils in your neighborhood and in the same class with him so that they study together. His age is not the age of getting a mentor. He should mingle more with his age mates and do assignments together with them.

I don't think there's anything wrong with a child being in a higher class based on capacity. It's better than that child being in a class that we think their age should be in while they remain unchallenged and undermaximized.

Some parents actually hold their children back from reaching their maximum capacity with the excuse that they don't want to rush the child. And this happens a lot with Nigerian parents.

My daughter was put in pry 2 at 4yrs. She just clocked 5 now. She's very studious and always pushes herself. Holding her back would not have helped her.

It is left for us to monitor these children and push them in the right direction according to their strengths and capabilities.

Nothing has changed on NL. Same old same old plot, mindset, thinking...

Pedrocross4568:
Tell him that you have already kept the money in a fixed deposit account as your way of saving.

@ Morningblues

You can use this advice

Cutehector:
then if i am the op. I will set up something that will be giving him money. Abegi. My father? Suffer in life? Impossible.

The op is still a student o. And the no he's doing, he earns 40k, yet his dad wants him to lend him 60k.

CalabarPikin:
Facebook Reels

Well done

CalabarPikin:
Noooohh


I don't watch the nonsense show......but just like this guy

Always smiling and looking free..
Like man without worries

Nothing sweets me more like seeing people happy

Well done Hermes

You don't watch the show but you know he is always smiling. How?

pocohantas:
Man

You don’t need money to have them.

Men shouldn’t be calling women cheap because you can get many of them with N4 text message.

Ahhh!

This vawulence is coming from the war front.

iamme1234:
Ye all keeps condemning this woman

She left the girl child

This and that

Do you even knows what it is to bring shame to the family
It’s pathetic.
It’s never easy to raise a girl child
Your tried your best as a mother
But your daughter acted so foolish.
Why messing around
Am sure you would be telling her then
Hence she would be shaking her bum bum.
See her life now
Madam go get your daughter back and leave their Pikin for them to train if they like they should kill him or her oonpe
Since their son has ego to knack
He should have ego to take care of d child.
Me I be no nonsense person ooooo
Madam be bold with your decision
Because been blunt in life as helped me so well

After shame what next? Is it enough to leave your own child at the mercy of people that won't value her as much? She made a mistake...so should you throw the baby away with the bath water.

You talk about raising a girl child being difficult. What about boys? A boy that can be a nuisance and thorn in the flesh of his parents if he chooses to go astray.

I believe in being disciplined. But when the anger settles, we need to think of what is best in the situation instead of destroying the child further.

Mindlog:
From his posts, OP has 2 children from 2 women and none is living with him......that is an insight.

He should accept that part of it is his fault because the daughter has grown up in a dysfunctional environment with no mother present. He should be looking for a way to salvage the situation.

wealthpreach:
Not after two months... Please read about the fecundity period and learn more.

There's always an exception because nothing is absolute. You should know that. I have cousins that are 10months apart. And I have seen others.

frozen70:
Leaving that little child behind and take her mother is worse than the anger you had when she became pregnant

I will advice you take her for treatment along with her child, after treatment let her go back to the man

By the time she stays there for two years with all she will be going through

Next time she will close her legs tight

If she continues to stay there with the guy, there's a high chance that she will get pregnant again. That will complicate her life even more.

Brooke60:
Let me tell you a short story. My Dad's first daughter (my step sis), got pregnant at a young age, as a strict man, he chased her out of the house. She moved to her boyfriend's house & also her mother's family took care of her.

Step sis was shuttling between seeing her son in Lagos while schooling in FUTA. She died in an accident. My dad never got to see her and the son (still alive).

My dad told me the story, until my dad's death (he died at 82), he never forgave himself for what he did to his daughter. He said, all he had to do was to forgive her and take her back but the 'Agidi' from Ondo state won't let him do that.

He regretted it. Don't be like that. Don't lose your daughter, take her back, take your grandchild & give her life! She is just 17 ffs! She can still achieve a lot and be the daughter you wanted. Might not be easy but there is a reason you are the father.

So much wisdom in this post.

Most times, fathers tend to be head strong and unyielding when things like this happens. They have every reason not to forgive until it is too late, and they start to regret.

Survivor2020:
His mother is alive he also has three elder sisters living at home who are in the best position to take care of their grand daughter/ niece

And they are swimming in poverty that they cannot afford to give your daughter proper medical care. How will they be able to take care of the little one that needs more care and attention? If anything happens to that child, you think your daughter will forgive you?

You have forgiven your daughter but you want to take your anger out on the innocent child and separate her from her mother. That is not the way to go. Babies need their mothers especially when the mother is alive.

Even if you decide to support with money for the upkeep of the baby, don't you think that such a family that is lacking will divert most of the funds, and what will come to the baby will be little.

If you are not going to take the baby, please don't take the mother, and watch how your daughter will become a shadow of herself when that guy is done with her.

Separate rooms...naaa. Why not live in separate houses if you need privacy, or not get married at all.

hunterezi:
I've accepted that. But that was not our discussion then. I wanted to get married to her , she knows. Her family knows.. I've been introduced to almost all her extended families in fact. I'm just feeling like I've been stupid.

It's good it happened this way. You may have just dodged a bullet because she could cheat on you if you married her. Just thank God.

doggedfighter:
From your explanation, aren't the parents stubborn?


By their acts they're encouraging and teaching their ward to flout rules and disobey constituted authority.




The HM has exhausted all channels of sensible

communication with the parents of the child , yet they keep behaving like stubborn he goats.


Thereby consistently making her work difficult.

Is black stockings on their dress code?


What will you have the HM do ?


The HM is exasperated .



Yes they deserve whatever she dished out.


Nanchench peepoo !!


.

The attitude of such parents rubs off on their children. And those children will learnt to flout rules just as you said. Later the same parents will be beating the children for always disobeying rules, not knowing that the seed they sowed has become a tree.

They are indeed stubborn. What will it take to buy the school cardigan. It is because they know the HM won't want to expose the children to cold by seizing it. Some parents just have coconut heads and like to rebel.

gloryhomemaker:
Correct. That's the oil I use.
But for the purpose of the video I had to bleach the oil cos the same oil is not accessible to everyone.

But if the oil is not bleached, you cannot get the same result...as per the oil for ofada sauce needs to be bleached, if not, it won't be ofada sauce. It will probably be omi obé.

garriAndsugar:
Nice looking inviting food... Well-done.
Channah1 needs to learn from this.. Everytime she will be posting meals looking like low budget food meant for the less privilege prisoners.

Anyways op incase you need houseboy, let me know

You have bad mouth . But she states it that it is cooking on a budget.

If your wife poos and forgets to flush, you will still come and report her to Nairaland.

You are am adult and a man. Keep some things to yourself.

It reversed into the ear I guess.

Prospertochu:
Sorry ma I think you got it wrong, my triplet are not 5 they will be 3 years next month and nursery 1 is the right class for them to be

Oh cool. They are on track. I wish them the best.

Prospertochu:
I wanted to home school them but the problem has been resolved they will go to school in 2 weeks time

That means that up till now, all they have been doing is watching cocomelon. Did they get any nursery education...like identifying and writing numbers?

I ask because my daughter is 4 going on 5. She just started primary and they moved her to the next class because of her foundation. You will have to start them from nursery so that they don't struggle.

Mindlog:
Some baby daddies out of anger, withdraw support for their children because their baby mamas are seeing other men even when they themselves are into other relationships.

Double standards at work.

They want to be judged the same.

Are they being home-schooled? At age 5, they are supposed to be going to Pry 1. Or are you going to start them from nursery at that age? Because going straight to pry 1 might be difficult for them to catch up.

If your love was based on body count, virginity, then you should have talked about it when you were courting.

What did you people do during the courtship? What did you talk about? Were you not supposed to be getting to know each other? Or you were just lost in the euphoria of the idea of marrying her.

You assumed, and assumption is a higher form of ignorance. Now that you have put the cart before the horse and gotten married before getting to know your wife, you have to take what you see and love her as your choice.

Another option is to go to her father and tell him you are no longer interested in the marriage as her body counts has made you stop loving her.

Make a choice soon and don't make another person miserable in the name of marriage.

Does it happen when you are at work or out in some place else? If it only happens at home, it could mean that someone is taking the money. I don't think it is spiritual.

Eliminate the possibility of it being physical because you tag it spiritual. Set a trap.

Face your child and leave the mother. She's not your wife. If she wants to be with someone else, move on.

I thought men are happily opting for baby mamas instead of getting married.

SeaTrade:
If she shows me pepper at old age ,I'll take consolation from the fact that I enjoyed her in her youth ,
What's the guarantee that an older woman won't also show me pepper at old age?
What will i now take consolation in?
Besides,if you treat a woman right,I don't think she'll have vendetta against you ,so much so that she'll want to ruin your old age.
As someone that understands human behaviour,I'll say the way you can control human behaviour towards you is by giving them something to lose the moment they change towards you.
Why will my young wife want to start misbehaving towards me just cos I'm getting old when she knows too well the things she will lose by behaving that way towards me?
Some of the tools you can use to achieve this are genuine love,care,compassion,understanding and RESOURCE CONTROL.You have to learn how to weaponise resources when dealing with women.
Our forefathers picked women lower than them in the food chain for this reason.
Lola's marriage is working with Mr P because the foundation of that relationship was set on the man knowing his place.
The moment he takes charge and want to level the playing field is the day issues will come up.
You can't lead ab older woman ,especially one with money.You just have to submit and endure or else

Your points make sense but they are mostly theoretical, not practicalin the real life. The thing about marriage and relationships is that one size doesn't fit all. If age is your major determinant, it can fail you in other aspects like character/behaviour, etc.

Age mates get married and they are closely knit till the end, you could marry a much younger woman and get the same result. But it can also go south with a younger woman, age mate or older woman. Nothing is caste in stone. Younger, same age or older wife doesn't guarantee a successful marriage.

Each person should know what works for them and not allow superficial reasons guide their choice of a spouse.

Just the same way you pointed out that men should not pick wives based on support system is the same way they shouldn't pick based on age. Both can fail.

Uyi168:
.
without being told, I already knew she can not be a Nigeria wowan..

Eedris Abdulkareem and OJB Jezreel...their wives are Somalians right? These are even the popular ones.

Always resist the urge to drag Nigerian women. That's why you can't even spell "woman".

Suicide indeed.

The man is in love. He should make proper findings before settling down with her and be aware of the consequences that may arise in the future.

Wow! The chaos is plenty. It's just that your wife is not organized but it's not rocket science. She can learn if she is willing to because it is even good for her own well being as well as the children and you.

Kids need a particular number of hours of sleep and they also need to be put on a routine. It also depends on how she was brought up or what she has seen. Personally, I don't subscribe to kids being up late and fighting for tv with adults when they should be asleep. So by 8.30-9pm, they are asleep.

If she allocates her time well, she should be able to do more especially as you help around with stuff. You have already tried to help with the organization but she refused to take it. Why not report her to her mum that she reports you to?

It's difficult being with a man that doesn't see his wrong, someone who always thinks the other person is the problem and never him.


At his point, you have to take what you can handle instead of dealing with countless emotional and other problems without any support from your husband.

Imagine not getting involved with the kids, and you have to do everything regarding the children all by yourself.

Some people might think it is enough that he provides money and he bought you a Range and expensive stuff. Such people have no idea about what a marriage should be.

All I can say is that you should hang in there till you think you have had enough especially if he still refuses to change.