₦airaland Forum

Blessedmercy8:
Yes @ bold by God's grace. Anyone can be if they embrace God's grace.

All I'm simply against is her leaving her marriage just under two months. She can't even endure a little and weather the storm with the man for a while.
Her insensitivity is what is making sound like that.

7month old.pregnant woman that has already done one week taking care of cerebral palsy child is not insensitive. What will you then call her husband?

Thank God you are not God. Because even God is merciful.

CountVersailles:
Because it’s IVF. But trust them to never mention it. Instead they will start screaming into the heavens that it’s a miracle of a thousand proportions.

IVF is not a taboo, neither is it a sin. The couple can decide to announce it to the world that they did IVF or not, their choice.

The ones I witnessed in my church last month mentioned that they did IVF. The first one failed and the second worked out.

Here, some people try to make it seem like IVF is a hush hush thing that somehow invalidates the experience.

It's coincidental that I saw a boy of about 6yrs old in church today and he had grey hair.

Blessedmercy8:
What's the deceit there?

Ok, agreed the man didn't tell her but did she at anytime ask the man if he had a child somewhere and the man denied it? No! So no case here.

Shes just wants to have her cake and eat it. Shes not willing to sacrifice or support her spouse. The man is also having a hard time and needs her support but no, she's only concerned about herself alone. she's just being self-centered.

There's nothing like deceit. She should learn to ask questions in her dealings with people next time. I guess she got carried away by what she was enjoying then and never bothered to do the needful.

Righteous one calm down! You sound like you are perfect in all your ways, without blemish, without faults or ability to faulter

It's obvious that the man carefully hid that information for obvious reasons. Cerebral palsy is not child's play. Something that a doctor friend told me that parents are usually advised to eliminate the child at birth.

When I go for immunization, I see such kids. I think only their mother or a paid staff can have that kind of strength and attention for them. A 7 month pregnant woman taking care of such a child alone is almost a death sentence.

Please have some empathy. We always feel we are right and judge harshly till we are in the same situation.

Have unprotected sex with the girl again to confirm what the disease is. Then after now, have unprotected sex with random girls to boost your immunity.

MALIGNANTGuest:
Hello,
So, I had to urgently marry this combination after I came back & found nothing soothing! .
Again, a few have wondered the reason I almost always put up Threads about Trips, so here is this for you too. I cook as well but occasionally!
Step 1........
Ingredients displayed
Starting with Fresh Tomatoes!
Followed by Sliced Red Onions
Then, Eggs
Grounded CrayFish.
Lastly Vegetable OIL
Cc
......tjskii
...... MissyB3

You must really.love onions.

Richy4:
I'm just trying to imagine his feelings if the child happens to be his and he spent 80K+ to know... Considering his financial status at the moment.

Yes it will take a lot from him. But this torture of not knowing is worse. The test will allow him make a decision on the child. It's the better way forward in my opinion.

pocohantas:


I don’t think this story is real sha. Someone just wants to give us entertainment.

Well, we have been entertained.

By the time you get married, that 30k will be like 30 naira and this love that is shacking you now will go out the window when hardship hits.

Marriage is not for you now except you have a covenant with poverty.

Do the test for your peace of mind.

pocohantas:
I don’t know why some usernames came to mind as I read that post.

Care to share?

Klass99:
Chai, you are not nice .

As in ehn!

The op married one of them. It's a pity.

kayperry:
LOL ! buh why are women like this, you keep doling the same approach, you are more concerned about nairaland boyz even than Op, so much for women supporting women

Don't do that, don't mix empathy with objectivity it only depict fairness means lil or nothing to you.

If my lil sister is in Op situation, i am 100% sure, i won't ask her to move out .... i will troubleshoot and profer lasting solutions, if after exhausting all options the man is irrredeemable the ball is in her court to stay or exit, i won't make choice for an adult.

Madam do i sound clueless

At the bolded, I'm not doing that. Just look at your own comment. It says it all.

Troubleshoot indeed!

kayperry:
LOL ! i knew i was asking for tew much, just had to confirm
maybe i am not objective buh btw you & i, am the one profounding solutions while you are busy searching my closet, all you will find is dirty tommy hilfiger boxers i did not wash because of people that will ask for it

MRS asides divorce what other solution do you have for Op, i missed that

I already gave her my 2 cents.

It is tiring and becoming cliche for guys to assume, blame and jump into conclusions when it is a woman who brings her problems here. Empathy and objectivity flies out the window.

Meanwhile if your own sister comes to you and tells you her husband does the same thing, you won't take it lightly.

I asked if you were married because some single people are good at giving advice for something they are clueless about. They always think they know until they know.

kayperry:
you need to be objective to get my point, from a man's perspective when there is a problem the logical thing to do to troubleshoot, domestic violence is a defect applicable to M/F.
however i think Op situation is not a hopeless situation it just depends on how she goes about it, moreover the man also needs to be engaged, something deep within is making him misbehave, the wife should think of someone that can make him vent out cos i doubt he will open up to the wife
The problem with "our conversation" is that you keep casting aspersions base on the forum, its not like you hear me what happens to objective

You want me to be objective in understanding a point that you were not objective making . You are a funny one.

Are you married?

kayperry:
Really ! maybe men are bias becos we don't trust women won't act like women, spices is a must thats not bias besides how do you intend to concieve " objective" without fairness

The man has anger issues no doubt, buh i believe there is an unresolved underline cause that needs to be unraveled or shared by the man, if "solution" is the objective here someone needs to talk deep with the man, probably someone he looks up to.

Even if that supposed underlying cause leads to being beaten? For me, beating is a deal breaker.

Men are bias because they don't trust women? Really! Do you think women trust men? Men also have faults that you cannot see because you are one, and one who doesn't realize it.

Or you think men are just straight up with no fault and "spices" too. Men are also known to decorate their story to appeal to their kind.

The problem with this forum is that we always make everything a gender thing. Everything!

imagrg:
Whenever I go online, the first website I visit is always Nairaland. I am beginning to feel that I've become addicted to it.
For many years now, before I visit any site at all, I always at least check on the news headlines on the front page. This has been a daily routine for years now. So, how do I break this addiction?.

Visit Twitter more

Abujaexpress:
I have been facing a lot of criticisms from some of my in-laws and my relatives, particularly my mother in-law who has frowned at why I will build a three bedroom flat, with separate rooms for me and my wife.

I married my wife in 2016 and we have been been living in a rented One Bedroom Flat, i.e. A bedroom and living room. We have got 3 kids and just early this year, we moved to our own house- a three bedrooms flat all ensuite. The master bedroom for me as the husband and my Wife's room and the other room for the kids, all tailored to suit our respective tastes.

But my mother-in-law, on coming to greet us recently was not comfortable with me and my wife's having different rooms, even when we have allayed whatever fears she may be nursing. According to her reasons, husband and wife living in separate rooms will not bond the love or marriage stronger compared to if we are living or sharing the same room. Apart from her, a few of my people too, including my foster mother have also raised a concern about, saying that the best for us was for both of us to share the same room so that there will be more bonding and attachment.

I really want to ask, which is better and is there anything bad about a husband and wife living apart in different rooms or it's better to share and live in one Room?

So what happens when you guys want to have sex, you book an appointment?

kayperry:
i don't think a one sided story is potent enough to resonate "objectivity, and i am sure if OP had booked a therapy session, the therapist would av appeal to hear both couple out because that is the only way to discern the required truth, women are suckers for empathy, there will be spices & maggi here n there however we get the message " Men are scum "
with information available is the situation redeemable or not

That's why I said "with the information available".

It is no news that guys on this forum are bias when it comes to stories from women. If a man had come with complaints from his wife, most guys would condemn the wife without asking to hear her side.

Just like you have already concluded that she's only trying to get empathy, rather than seeing that she may actually need advice.

He shouldn't be saying things like that to you. He probably sees you as someone he can bully and walk over. And it doesn't seem you have done much to make him give you the respect you deserve as his wife.

Once a man starts beating his wife, it takes God's special grace to stop. If you are not working, you should try to get busy and earn something for yourself. There's a kind of confidence that comes with that.

In all of this, consider your safety first.

Richy4:
<< You mean you were trying to pass out or u passed out infront of your spouse and he was just looking at u? ... And u said he's a wonderful husband?...
I will quickly double check the meaning of wonderful in a sec. Just incase the meaning has changed
<< Where una dey find these kind men wey shame dey gree fight come outside for neighbours to see?..... Again Which eyes una take dey look the neighbours that separated u guys?..

He has been indulged over time, that's why he can act so unruly and intimidate his wife. Wonderful husband indeed.

Ebubu3:
I am not justifying him asking you to leave every slight instance but you must be a troublesome woman, I've dated your type. Learn to prevent quarrels.

You display a bad attitude and get angry over how he manages it. Why will you be taking substance that makes you to misbehave Ma ? If at the point you woke up from your yeye sleep and re-asked him for the money, I'm sure he would have been more considerate if you were lenient in your approach, but no you must have said something annoying or tried to put up an attitude.

Please stop taking highness substance and stop being quarrelsome, your husband must have tired to put up with your attitude.

So the husband is perfect? Doesn't she have to put up with his own attitude?

Please let's stop this bias. Some of you must think that a husband should be held high up and is beyond reproach. He too must act responsible. What responsible man comes home at 2am? Did he apologize?

But you didn't see all this. Learn to be objective with the information available.

Bergavis:
Visa to where? U no hear say na kill dem dey kill for dat side na.

E reach the killings for Nigeria? And you still dey here.

Writing manifesto has become a grand project that a committee has to be inaugurated. It is well.

Righteousness2:
There is nothing absolutely wrong with her wearing a skirt. It's the same material, it's the same uniform.

Even in the military, you have women who put on their skirts.

Trouser is not for women! It's for men.
Even if the whole women Worldwide put on trousers, it doesn't make it right.
She is not man! And so her putting on skirt is not a crime.

Infact she is a worthy example for the ladies.

Says who? Where is it in the Bible or in the constitution?

Please just go. You have done enough.

fman:
Afang soup

And nkong (Edikaikong)

Rastaramsey:
Toor

Nigerian girls enh

Na only f*ck f*ck them Sabi

I hope the head of this young niggar torture the parents...

Well done. Because it was not a sperm that fertilised her egg abi. Continue.

I think you are the one who doesn't want to buy the car.

How come you have to take permission to buy it if you are earning and can afford it? If you buy the car, will they ask you to return it?

Village wahala.

Try get busy so that these kind of things will not be your concern.

What a wicked heart.

RedChiefPriest:
Hmmm lol
Some of you men are funny for real
You don't believe you deserve good things but you sha have to slave for you to be a real man.
Na why I like women,they sabi how to make you treat them well and enjoy life .

Buy charger every week because she's going to spoil her charger?
Charge the powerbanks because she will just come and use anyone when she needs it?
Does that even look sane to you? When mama spoil charger 2 times,she will start buying her own.
When you use up the battery of the power bank,why won't you charge it? Na mumu thing be that.
Helping out in the kitchen is cool actually, you talk and bond more self unless she does not approve.
Helping out around the house is sane also,they don't have to tell you that one.
With all the epistles written above, a man is to do this and do that,what should the woman do for the man?
No gift for the man,nothing to make his own life easy from the wife ba? Oh! I forgot,as a man slave for the family and make sure your wife is happy or else you're not a real man .
God punish the society definition of a real man.

Dj! Plenty kegs of palmwine for me and other people interested
Barman! Play me "Manipulated Man" by Joseph Yobo and Kim Kardashian.

Lol don't take it to heart. Even my phone...I wake up to see it charged after I fall asleep with it in my hands. I hardly have to worry about buying chargers.

It's the same way he doesn't have to tell me he needs hot water to bath when it's cold. Or he hardly ever feels whether we are out of food stuff or not. He always gets something to eat.

There are some silent codes and things couple should do for each other to make life more bearable.