₦airaland Forum

GreaterFuture:
Some people say that it seems as if Plantain gets Ripens faster when at home compared to when it is at the seller's Store, this may be true but I'm not sure
Anyways How do I Slow down or delay the Ripening process in Plantain?
PS: I don't have a freezer

Pancakeey:
Yinmu
Nonsense talk
Why should a stranger message me without going to the point.
I’ll not even reply the person

And if you’re referring to that HR chat then the HR was very unprofessional.
You’re messaging an intern with hi and you’re still asking the person to calm down.
Is that one HR?

A normal HR will state everything about them and the company in one message
Talo raye “hi” “hello”

Zzor:
Good morning to you all, I know i would get a correct advise and steps to take here over my mistakes. I met this man who lives and work in the US on one of the social media networks and we became chat buddies, strictly platonic and nothing more, he told me how he lost his wife to cancer some years back and have been unable to remarry, he told me about his only child (a girl) who lives with his mum here in Nigeria, I get to know much about him from our chats and I realized he has not seen his daughter for some years now and there was no communication with his daughter for almost two years. The reason was that the mum told him never to call her again since he has refused to remarry and will only speak with him when he has found a wife, he's the only child of the mum and they are from a very wealthy home, the mum is eager and so desperate for more kids from him (you understand how our mothers behave on issues like this). During one of our conversation, he suddenly asked if I would consider him for marriage and I replied with a solid No, he then begged me to play along as he intends Introducing me to the mum as his fiancee just so he could speak with his daughter, he sent me crying videos of how he misses his daughter and how his mom kept to her words, I sympathized with him and saw the eagerness and somehow I agreed to speak with the mom and play along so he will achieve his aim of speaking with his daughter. The next day his mum called and I could hear the excitement in her voice, she was so happy and didn't even care of other things, she spent more than an hour with me on phone and told me alot, by this time I was already scared but can't withdraw. That was the beginning of this whole problems, his mum now call me on daily basis, through her I have spoken with aunties and uncles of this man I haven't even met, recently she sent someone in my location to check on me and she brought really expensive gifts for me,she wanted to visit me but I somehow was able to convince her that she should wait till her son comes back which is next month. I have complained to this man of how he got me into a trap I didn't bargain for and he keeps begging and sending crying videos and telling me to do this for him so as to establish once more a good relationship with his mom and daughter and that when he comes back, he will sort out everything. Now this whole thing has really weigh me down, I don't sleep well anymore, I've lost weight and my heart skips each time my phone rings, my mum keeps asking me if anything is wrong but I can't get to tell her, I'm depressed already. Please help me with advise on what to do and how best to remove myself from all this. Please don't bash me and I'm not a good writer too, pardon me.

some50686:
Hi Everyone, i got married in 2018, We are both working class.. I am in my 34 while my wife is in her late 28. My wife has been denying me sex, we rarely have sex. sometimes we can go for over a month without sex. Whenever i ask for sex, she just complains she is tired and that is it. Sometimes i would plead and try yet she wont accept. What pains me the most is the way she react when i try to approach her. She would yell and begin to shout what nonsense is this, who is this now? To the point i only could initiate sex, sat morning and even with that she still refuses. Before we got married I sat her down and told her about this issue, that i hear about it from my married friends and dont want to experience such, she assured me and said our wont be like that but our is now worse. I am not sure we had sex more than 12 times the whole of last year.

The first time i sat her down, i asked her why she is doing all this to me, she complained i dont show her enough love, that she wants me to do more house chores, and also take her to eat outside and watch movies. I told her i will try. Although i knw am not the most romantic guy around, but i try the little ways I can, we sometimes go to see the movies. I do laundry on sat, help with ironing all the clothes she would wear during the week and cook a very few time. I ensured we got a maid so she wont be pressure by house chores. I also gave her my only car so she doesnt need to enter public transport, buy food from great eateries and even icecreams, almost every other week. But she has not changed, the last major fight we had was about 3months ago and it was about sex cause she denied me for no reason. Sex has always been the source of our quarrel. She was even telling me to go meet the maid since i am always so nice to the maid one time i tried to have sex. I really feel pained, like she is taking me for a ride because of my cool and easy going attitude. I have never raised my hand on my wife or even used abusive words. I even try to ask her how work is and gist with her to increase our bonding, yet all to no avail. I am someone who doesnt like going out to share and i believe the issue can only be fixed by the both of us, but this one is begining to drag for too long and from the look of things i am the one at the loosing end. I will go to my inlaws place and smile, nobody know how mean their daughter is to me, i too feel very ashamed raising the matter with my father inlaw. Last week i tried to initiate sex the same rejection, she is tired. I felt very frustrated and am now seriously considering cheating even though i am a Christian. Cheating is not right, cause it is expensive and emotionally draining, exposes one to STDs and it is against my Christian faith but what can i do? Sometime i have had to masturbate to suppress my sexual urge, but for how long can one continue to do this? I feel very ashamed coming to nairaland but what can i do. But dont get me wrong o, my wife has her good sides but this sex issue is really beginning to hurt and it does nt look like she would change anytime soon from the way she has been behaving.

Even if she doesnt find me attractive, should that be enough reason to continue to deny me sex after 3 months. Right now we are not speaking at the moment, cause i am mad with her. The next day after all she did, she come to greet me in the morning and acts like nothing happen. This is how she does and most time i always over look it, but the one from last week really hurt the most. I feel I have made a mistake marrying her. She also doesn't really care about my eating, most time she is only bothered about what our son and the maid will eat. I always have to go to the kitchen and look for what to eat, sometimes i get food outside. Even though i always drop food money. since we started quarrelling she has stopped cooking for me. Just very frustrated.

To the experienced married men in the house, what can i do the address this issue. I am considering collecting my car, not that it would be of any use to me , just to frustrate her

Discombulator:
Since senseless begging as become the order of the day I might as well help some people afterall I bet I'm the only person that is actually capable of making good on my word.
400 airtime for first 20 people, I don't care who you support i don't particularly like any of them anyways.
After 20 people if you drop your number you've just wasted your time

IRIEBOY:
hi nairalanders.

yesterday I was scammed 10000 naira by someone impersonating BB9ja housemate Kiddwaya on twitter. I never knew that's a fake account ... below is the format he use to scam me of the 10k..

"Playing this truth or dare game wt a frnd and he got me, he dared me to ask a random fan for 10k he knows it's something I cant do and won't do... We placed a bet of 10million each, Anyone who helps me win will get 10% of the money (1 million naira ) , Just DM me pls"

this is the account details I sent the money to :

1414608431
Access bank
Terseer Terry kiddwaya

what convince me to send the money was because the account name of the account number is the real name of BB9ja Kiddwaya .. you can check the account number and see.. I borrowed that money to send to the scammer cause I didn't have 1 kobo on me.. I will attach screenshots ..

manos:
Note: it's a bit long... I could have summarized but I want those contributing to get a crystal clear picture of the situation, so that they can give better and specific advice.

The major problem here is that she mixes up things to be done in the kitchen with things done only in the toilet.

I have been married to my wife for over a year now (no kids yet) and there are certain unhygienic habits she has been displaying, since we started living together. I have been seeking ways to help her improve on it, but a calm correction from me always leads to a bitter argument between us. (She claims I complain too much whenever I point it out)

For example, she always clears her throat early in the morning and spits in the kitchen sink. (despite the fact that we have 2 toilets with wash hand basins; one in the room and also a guest toilet, with a wash-hand basin which is basically 3 steps from the kitchen). Then she goes to the bathroom, gets her toothbrush and comes back to the kitchen to brush her teeth, while doing several things with toothpaste and saliva drooling from her mouth all through.

The other day, she prepared breakfast (spaghetti) for both of us with the drooling toothpaste mouth and i refused to eat from it. I didn't complain to her either, until she asked why I didn't take my portion of the spaghetti from the pot, later that evening. I mentioned to her that, as always I find it disgusting to eat spaghetti, seasoned with toothpaste drool and saliva. The response I got from her was a hiss and then she said that, next time I should inform her if I am not going to eat the food she cooked so that she would not cook for me."

I let that slide but I felt she missed the point. The next day was her birthday and I decided to prepare breakfast for her.
While I was in the kitchen cooking, she came in with the same drooling toothpaste mouth to take a kitchen Scissors in order to cut something on her pants, even though we have another scissors in the room for such purposes. In the process of trying to pick the scissors, her hands which were covered with toothpaste drool had to cross the pot which I was cooking with. I mentioned to her that I was not comfortable with that and she just hissed as usual, still picked the Scissors and left the kitchen while angrily saying that I am just a complainer. I lost it at this point and proceeded to give her a lecture in anger about basic hygiene and why I can not keep quiet over these things because we live in a shared space and how her actions have a direct effect on me. It ended in a shouting match till she kept quiet, without accepting she was wrong.

This is the pattern almost everything takes when I try to correct her. The worst part is that I would still have to be the one to apologize for shouting at her because if I don't, I might be subjected to a week long silent treatment which I dread.

There are other more unhygienic things that are done by her, which I might not be able to post here due to the fact that I am not completely anonymous and she is still my wife but I hope this information is enough for someone to understand my frustration and profer a solution.

Rotjijatau:
I'm writing this piece with due permission because both parties involved are on nairaland. My friend & his wife had a small issue that made them to keep malice for more than a week. Then last Friday he went to work & she sent him a text message that read "I am going with our son, whenever you are calm & settled, come for us, the key is under the footmat in front of the door" to his greatest surprise he came back home later in the evening & didn't meet her. He didn't call her, next day Saturday no communication whatsoever from them, Sunday which was yesterday same & today too no communication. Everyone adviced him not call her since he didn't send her out of the house neither has he ever maltreated her. Maybe she's trying to show him that whatever happens she has a place to go. I think her mother is suppose to ask her why she came home or better still contact the husband to know why his wife came back but nobody from her family contacted him. On a second thought, the mother shouldn't be blamed since nobody knows what the wife told her mother, but this is not the first time the mother is acting in this manner. He has put all her belongings together in the house so that anytime she wants to come & pack, its fine by him & if she comes back its still fine by him. Anything she wants to do is very okay with him, he just want to keep his hands clean. What is your advice or take on this? One thing has been hindering him from making a move to call or look for settlement is PRIDE & EGO. They really love each other that they can die for each other but right now I don't know what the devil is doing.

Update: She has sent him a text this morning which read "i'll be coming tomorrow to pick some of our things & I'll also need money for our son's provision. hope you're fine? He hasn't replied her yet but this is what he intends to send her

"Your coming should very early in the morning before 7:30am or in the evening cos i'll be going to work & cannot drop my key, better still i'll help you put all your belongings together so you can pick up everything at once. It's gonna save you the stress & Tfare wastage of coming randomly for one thing or the other. Whenever you're finally ready to return, feel free! but if you're waiting or expecting me to come for you then i'm sorry ma'am, all i can say at this point is "ALL THE BEST'' as we call it ''QUIT'' because never will you see me nor will i do such follow up again, reason being that you chose your path & defined the fate of your child. I think at some point we've all tried in one way or the other. Sorry i don't have money right now for provisions, month end perhaps.


I told him to chill first & not send it or even if he'll send it let it be later in the evening. This issue has got everyone confused, to me I think one of them should just act the fool for peace to reign cos I don't see any issue that is worth all this. I bet you if you hear from both of them, you'll know that there's no problem at all warranting this, in fact its child's play. Its just the devil.

funkmrflexx:
We Have Been Dating For 1 Year and 6 months now. I’ve met her parents, we wanted to get married last year but her dad told me to wait till she finishes school which is supposed to be next year. I’m 25 years old and she’s 22 .

I live alone in the city while my mom lives in the village. My younger sister who I’m sponsoring through school sometimes comes to my place during holidays and weekends. My girlfriend practically lives with me because she comes from a type of an Abusive family. So she lives with me and I even assist her with school fees and house rents sometimes. I’ve spent even more than her father for her school.

Everyone In my family knows her and she’s a very wonderful girl. Typical wife material. She supports me every time even when I’m broke. I’m not the type of guy that dates a lot of girls . I don’t even cheat on her. Since I met her I’ve done away with a lot of ladies. I’m 100% committed to the relationship

But the problem is that she Has very bad anger issues. I mean she can destroy your property when she’s angry and I’m the quiet type. I don’t like hitting a lady execpt once in a while a general brain resetting slap. When she starts she doesn’t listen to anyone. Not me, not even her parents. So anytime she’s angry like this I will just find a way to make her laugh. Both of you can just be eating and she will get angry if you ate the fleshy part of the meat and left oily part for her (we have quarreled because of that I mean serious quarrel) . Sometimes I get tired of the whole situation. At the end even when she’s wrong I’ll let her for peace to reign. So I try to manage the anger at home so it shouldn’t go out

So we went to visit my mom in the yesterday. Because of curfew we slept over. So my mom bought us mangos this morning and told us to carry.

My girlfriend then said she doesn’t like mango that if I want to eat my mango I should carry it myself. Then my mom (she is the type that always shouts at every body. The real wahala woman) told her that if she can’t carry the mango then she should just put it on my head for me to carry na (If you no fit carry the mango u for kuku put am for e head make e carry am na).

That was the only thing my mom said. Then she sparked. Started shouting at my mom. That she should stop talking to her like that, that she doesn’t like it. In fact she’s going home. So she carried her bag and started going home. Every one in the compound started saying it’s ok (Na dat thing why dem tell u Dey make u Dey vex so) she was still shouting. I was even try to calm her down but no way. She was still shouting. Even my sister who had never seen her angry before became angry (na so you b? She said). I was really disappointed In her

The issue is what even made me angry is how she reacted. If she didn’t like what my mom said made her angry. At least she should have waited till we got home (this was the first time we were both sleeping over) then she would tell me. Or she could have called my sister and told her what my mom said. After all the fracas, she went inside the room till we left. I just told everybody to just leave her.

So when we got home I told her what she did was wrong that she shouldn’t have reacted like that. Na there war start. She started yelling and shouting at me that if my mom talks to everyone like that she won’t take it (my plan was to tell her that she should apologize to her. Because my mom already apologized that she won’t talk to her again like that. Which I know she will o . So we can just forget about the issue. But she never accepts she’s wrong ) She said I took her to my village to intimidate her in front of my family people, I was really angry and called her uncle and told him what happened. He said there was nothing wrong with what my mom told her (If you no fit carry the mango u for kuku put am for e head make e carry am na) and that he would talk to her .

I even scolded my mom before I left that I didn’t like what she said what she did that’s she was just causing issue. My girlfriend said when my mom said the word (If you no fit carry the mango u for kuku put am for e head make e carry am na) that I should have immediately rebuked my mom. But me sef no see anything wrong with what my mom said( If you no fit carry the mango u for kuku put am for e head make e carry am na)

I just Dey follow her uncle advise and leave her be until she calms down and I talk to her

So my people what’s offensive in this word? If you no fit carry the mango u for kuku put am for e head make e carry am na)

But this her attitude don tire me. Break up is not on the card for me at least not yet. She always thinks that they are other guys out there because she has a lot of toasters but I know they can’t do quarter of what I’m doing for her. In this modern time it’s difficult to see a guy who will allow his girlfriend stay with him thereby losing his freedom to do certain things. A guy who doesn’t cheat, a guy who takes care of her does everything for her .

I just think the things she went through in her family is affecting her physiological. And sometimes when I think about leaving her I feel pity because she can’t go back to her parents house.

Crazeman03:
Hello Nairalanders, Hope you guys are staying Safe. Please don't mind my writing, I will make it short as possible.

I met this wonderful lady Last year and everything has been going good until 7 months ago when she told me she was Hiv+. That hit me hard but that didn't change anything, she was surprised I didnt react and opening up to me didn't scare me because I'm negative though we haven't had sex yet before the moment.

Now it has been 4 months we've been having unprotected sex. I'm not afraid of contracting the virus, as she keeps taking med and her viral load is low. I made sure before we went for test before having unprotected sex. Her CD4 count is above 750 and viral load is below 20, which makes hiv undetectable in her.

Now one night around 3months ago, she woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me, why do I love her knowing fully well about her status because she could not believe she will ever have a relationship with someone negative not even in this Nigeria by the way they stigmatize hiv+ people. I told her the reason and I'm not afraid hiv is not the worse or the baddest of diseases. There are more killer diseases than HIV and HIV is not a diseases but a virus. Only attack your immune system and its no longer a deadly virus.

The problem I have now is that whenever I imagine myself having it and how I will popping drugs everyday, make me kinda moody towards her, because I always keep telling her to always take her drugs. Last night she discovered she is pregnant and I'm just imagining things how everything will play out, I know when she will put to bed she won't be able to breastfeed. People will ask questions. I really need to tell someone in my family but I don't know who. My mom my react and the other person I trust is my younger sister.

On her own part, only her elder sister and brother knew she has the virus. And she had it since 2007.

I only need an advice if I need to tell any member of my family, looking to settle down with her this October.

Solearr:
Comments before I continue

Collins918:
Something is really bothering me. I need advice from married women and men in the house please. I have been married for a year with 2 kids ( twins) but my wife has had never post any of my pics on her social media. I am not happy with her.

1. On our wedding day she posted her pics and of her family members and friends except me . I have address the problem with her to know why . She said she will add more later. She never did which I had never bothered to ask again because our marriage was young to start having issue just because of pics

2. On our twins dedications the same thing happened again. She posted over 100 pics on Facebook but none of mine. I have address the problem. Asking her again why she keep excluding me from her social media account. I asked her if she is not happy to have me as a husband. She said no . She has forgot to add my pic . She apologise.

3. My twins were born a day before my birthday in May. We had a small gathering at home for our birthdays. We snapped loads of photos but she didn’t post any of mine. Even on her WhatsApp status she posted our twins and on my day she only wrote happy birthday to my soulmate but not a pic of me. I was upset that I asked her , how would feel if I have not posted any of your pics since our wedding until now. She said well it’s my choice to do it and she has had never forced me to put her pics on my Facebook and WhatsApp . She said I can go ahead and remove it. She said it’s her Facebook she can do whatever she want including who to post. We had a heated argument and we haven’t spoke to each other since then.
4 I am not happy with her attitudes . I know it’s only pics we are fighting for , to some people it may seems as a stupid thing to fight for . But it means a lot to me. I feel jealous when I see other couples posting each other on Facebook but why can’t my own wife can do the same for me. She doesn’t think is a big deal to her. I feel bad . Now I am wondering if she truly loves me for real or if she only married me because of my money. I am not rich . I have my furniture company. I have opened a shop for her. I take care of her and her family 100% financially. I am not ugly , I only senior her by 3 years. It’s not like she married her father or grand father age mate that’s why she will feel embarrassed to post him . I just don’t understand why she doesn’t feel to post any of my pic. I just don’t know what to do or say to her anymore. I want to know if what she’s doing is really right. For married men and women in the house . How would you feel if your partner has had never post you on social media before ? Please single stay out of my post. Many thanks

Sepsis:
Hey guys. I could use a little perspective on something that’s been bothering me. Got married for a little over a year now and I have a kid. The baby is not up to a year yet. The crux of the matter is my wife started stress eating after she delivered. Her weight was normal after delivery so it wasn’t as a result of the pregnancy. After delivery, she started eating a lot of junk. She wasn’t staying with me then - she was with her folks. Her eating wasn’t supervised.

Now she came back all fat and bigger than normal. When we dated, she knows my stance on being overweight. I have a special dislike for fat or thick girls. They always look lazy and clumsy and I’ve never been attracted to a fat lady.

Now she’s overweight. She looks way older than I am and I don’t know how to force myself to be attracted to her. When I see pictures of men and their wives looking fit, it makes me wish that was me.

We haven’t taken any picture together in up to six months. She hasn’t taken any either. I can’t post her on my social media because I’m not proud of the situation.

She has a good character and takes care of the baby well. I work full time, run errands and cook for the house. Her main job is taking care of the baby. I have tried to help out domestically to lessen her burden. In fact, since we started living together she hasn’t gone to the market for one day.

I don’t know how to approach this situation. Already I’m sexually frustrated and I’m too young to be feeling this way.

noakchukibadan:
Hello,

Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.

I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE

There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.

She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.

OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.

So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.

Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.

I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.

I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.

This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

omu4364:
When i woke up yesterday, I was informed me that the fish in one of our ponds were all dead.
What led to the death of the massive quantity of the fishes is unknown.
At first we thought they were dead because of poisoning.
After a closer look on the pond we discovered that water pollution might have lead to the death of the fishes.

what do u think might have been the cause?
Water pollution or Chemical poisoning?

....Part 2
To put more strain on the family, I lost my job when the company I worked for folded up and left the country. I am home full time against what used to be the case when I worked and lived away from home. She has little respect for me but always want to act like a fully submissive wife.

My wife is very insensitive when upset that she says what she knows will not be cool to say only to regret saying it. For example, she overreacted with the young 18yr old maid. The girl did something and wifey insulted her, the insult got to the girl that she replied for the very first time since 6yrs she's being in our house. I didn't like what she said, my wife now turns around says that my silence means I am fvcking the girl who vowed to keep the secret and rained curses on both of us. She once told me that I wanted to kill her child, because I didn't come back on time with drugs for my sick son. She once told my mum the same thing when my son was admitted in hospital. Its like when her child falls sick, she loses her mind.

For my past 2 jobless years, once my wife comes back from work, I get out of the house to hang out with friends. My drinking has increased and my exposure to waywardness has increased. The fact is, I am not totally immune to cheating on her but I have very strong self control which most times stops me short of doing it. I have friends who pay for hotel room, pay a girl to sleep with me but I will say no thank you and head home only to meet her at the door, rain insults on me, then return to bed. I never sleep out but do come home late.

We fight daily on account of coming home late but in 99% of the time, its just a harmless sitting of guys gisting till 12midnight or 1am in a bar a stone throw from home. The fact that we fight daily means she cannot tolerate any behavior that she doesn't approve. This lack of tolerance means she is obsessed with controlling me; where I go, who I meet, what I eat or drink and when I go or come home. I repeatedly told her she cannot control me but no one can dissuade her from this. This led to a physical confrontation one night that I slapped her. Her father summoned me and once he heard what I had to say, he blamed her. My parents are tired of her numerous reports, her younger sister is tired of hearing our issues.

The reason things are this bad is mainly my phone and the fact that she loses her senses whenever she sees any suggestive reason from my phone of an affair. These supposedly affairs are in 80% of the case real evidence of an affair but 99% of the time, the actual affair (sex) never happened or I never even had any intention of having the affair all the way.

The fact is that I am big sized man and still manage to maintain my car so the girls mostly assume I have plenty of money to spend. I know I don't and am no player so I just play for a while and drop them before or when they make the 1st demand. I don't even want the sex because I know the demands come after so I just want to lay low. Some girls want to spend money on me, I don't like hotels or being in any place I cannot afford so I stay away. Anything beyond beer and p.soup, am usually not interested.

I hardly ever get drunk since I am self conscious which makes me the sober driver to most of my friends. Whenever I return and seemed to have had enough to drink, my wife is waiting to insult me saying all I do is spend my money on beer, p.soup, girls and fuel.

I am jobless with exhausted savings but she says these things when actually my friends pay my bills buy fuel for me and do those stuff for us to hang out. The last deal that got me a 7digit payout which didn't last 3 months due to debts, I cleared mine, hers, my parent's and her parents debts in one shot. Paid my children's 3 terms sch fees and cleared 2yrs owed rent and stocked my house and my parent's store but till today, she insults me that I spent the money on beer and women. Yes, I "retaliated" my friends some favours for constantly being there for me, especially financially but not a kobo spent on any woman. She hates my friends, has refused to come out from the bedroom to welcome some of them if they showed up at home. The ones she like, they enjoy her cooking and sing her praises but the ones she doesn't like are aware she doesn't want them around.

I like socializing and would not leave the opportunity of not collecting a beautiful girl's number. We may make several calls, chat, hangout but it almost never gets to the bedroom before I bailed. If you ask my wife, I am a serial cheater, she has countless episodes of evidences from my phone or clothes but never a real proof. She has seen lipstick, shadow powder on my shirts, what looks like cum on my boxers, WhatsApp messages where the entire gist will convince even a 5 year old that I am having an affair. Yet, all these are categorically misleading with no harm done.

However, that doesn't mean i have never done it, yes i have, a very few times when it was very convenient but everything she always thinks she sees or is an evidence turns out to be nothing. I simply take a girls number lead her on for a week or 2 then forget. This leaves evidence on my phone that often times gets forgotten at the bottom of the contact list that my wife will dig out anytime I mistakenly leave my phone unlocked.

This mistake happened last night when I let her watch a movie in my phone, i slept off, then she went on to search through, my recent calls, contacts, WhatsApp, pictures etc. Normally, she would copy out the female contacts, especially new ones and the ones she doesn't know. If she notices any reason to call one of them, she will call to threaten them. She even called my former boss secretary's number but she was lucky the call didn't link back to me. She is constantly watching me like a hawk hooked on prey. She accuses me of spending on girls which by my standards is the last thing I do. I take my responsibilities very seriously, I will never spend a Kobo that I know will fill a hole at the home front.

I have contemplated divorce but cannot cause harm to my children.

I am not asking for what to do about the situation, I know what I have to do is to endure at least for the sake of my children. At this time, she also has to endure some of the times I do. I am not a womanizer but I can't promise that once a while I will not have a fling. My only issue is that, whenever I actually have sex outside, I can't totally hide the fact at home because I totally lose interest in having sex with her.

I had a thought, maybe my transgressions are the reason I am broke and can't seem to recover from the financial avalanche that has swept my life, my wife's attitude puts a bad taste in my mouth that I need external intervention to stay afloat.

Meanwhile, she is the bread winner now so all I can do is to always be out of the house or lock myself in the room to get some peace and sanity in my mind. It is actually not a coincidence that when things became financial bad for me, my wife became a thorn in my flesh.

Instead of regretting that I married her, I try to occupy my mind with thoughts of my beautiful children and if its not strong enough to put her off, I get a drink or a babe to help.

Lastly, my wife is ignorant because she will not accept any reasonable explanation once she hears or sees me calling another girl dear, honey, sweetie, babie or any endearing name. She is incomprehensive because even when she reports me to her parents, my parents or her sister and they tell her how wrong she was, it seems the words enter one ear and come out of the other. I can't get her to understand basic and simple principles of life. She is only driven by emotions and physical evidence, every other thing is bullshit.

I am more concerned of my joblessness and my children's welfare than my wife's troubles that made my hair turn almost completely grey at 39.

Below is the screenshot of what spooked her for this morning insults. This chat is last girl I dated before we married. Just an innocent chat of two seperately married ex.boy and girlfriend checking up on each other. See the date on the chat which was the last time. The 2nd problem is a new female name in my contacts.

DriggityDre:
Ha ha . DMX my dude. But bros don fall far o. Net worth is negative 10M dollars (debt).
He con get like 15 children. Now he's currently a pastor in Arizona.

Sharp guy. He wants to tap into the hottest market

veave:
Loool. I'm actually the opposite. I HATE CLUTTER. I detest keeping things on the floor it irritates the living day light out of me hence I throw things away or give them out immediately I notice I don't have use for them anymore. My husband is the opposite, he can hoard for the whole of Africa and can keep unnecessary things it makes my head turn. I've dedicated one room to him that's where he keeps all his property. Can't kill myself abeg. Me that can't remember the last time I bought a shoe or dress because it's not necessary.

seglabsy:
PLS SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCE

SadiqBabaSani:
This is how your phone can save your life in certain Circumstances.

VERY VITAL INFORMATION

We the youth of today are fond of putting password/patterns on our phones which makes it difficult for someone to access it in case of emergency situation. But with these few knowledge I'm going to share, perhaps we can save ourselves and the lives of others also.

STEP 1

When your phone is locked, it normally shows enter password, under it you will see emergency. Click on the emergency, then you will see emergency information. Click on the emergency information *(2 times)*. You will see a pencil icon on your extreme right, click on it to edit.

STEP 2

Then enter the contacts you want to save as emergency. You can put as many contacts as possible but I advice you save numbers of active people who know you very well (Family/friend).

Now these contacts you have saved can be called even when your phone is locked without entering your password.

Note this.

FEEL FREE TO SHARE

Police, FRSC Take Note.

dru23:
This is dru23 , I am warning the public that I no longer have any business with Richard Jacob .. He is an uber driver....


This man has been the worse driver since I started investing in uber .. He damaged my car and took off . And he has refused to pay my money and damages he did to my car ..

After spending over 100k naira to put my car together for him . He got into an accident few days ago. I asked him to pay for the damages and he refuse.. Am warning members of the public or investors to stay clear from him

jettybrian:
I AM SENDING THIS POST TO INFORM NIGERIANS OF THE SCAM TECHNIQUE BY LAPO MICROFINANCE BANK AND ITS PERSONNEL.
THEY USE ANOTHER NAME BECAUSE THEY KNOW PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO ASSOCIATE THEM.

I work with Lagos state government and I received a message from "CityGate Global" to call Wunmi on 0816134315* if I need a loan. I placed the call and she demanded for my details and I got the alert of #200k from "LAPO" I called to inform her that I didn't request a loan from LAPO but she said they just used the name CityGate as a bulk message platform (which was a lie telling from the message I received). I asked how come she didn't inform me about the name of the company ahead.

The money was already in my account I was told "the conditions" involved before I applied so name doesn't really matter. The conditions I agreed to was to pay #20,000/month for 12months to make #240,000

But to my greatest amazement, I was being charged #22906.67/month, which will make #274,880. This was not the agreement!

I called to complain, she first said that it was a mistake that it will be corrected and I will get the refund, but that didn't happen. She later said that she forgot to tell me the actual interest rate, that she made a mistake. I said I can't pay for her error... She stopped picking my calls or replying my messages and the interest deduction was already automated on my salary account. So, there is no need to talk with me again.

Until I threatened to arrest her, she then sent me the office address at irorun Plaza kudirat Abiola way and the number of one Mr Collins as her superior, Mr Collins claimed to be the manager heading the branch, when I walked in, he said the only way to resolve the case is to pay off the loan at once without interest on the remaining months.

I requested for my balance and the full details of all charges but both Mr Collins and Mrs Wunmi kept dribbling me, till the Loan entered 6months. Wunmi later sent the balance alone without explanation or break down. Though I have paid the balance but I realised that even as I attempted to terminate the interest on the 6th month, the total money I have paid is #262,388. I don't understand how come and I am not getting any explanation from any of them...

I got into argument several times with them because I was persistent about getting out of the situation while all they wanted to do was drag the process months into months.
I eventually got my balance but as I have suggested, I was overcharged though Mr Collins said I will get a refund of the excess charge by month end.
I have proof of all my statements...



THEY FIRST TRICK YOU WITH LIE ABOUT LOW INTEREST RATE AND LATER SAY THAT THEY MAKE MISTAKES OR MISCALCULATED.

THEY WON'T SHOW YOU YOUR BALANCE EVEN WHEN YOU REQUESTED FOR IT.

THEY WONT RESPOND TO YOU ONES THEY HAVE AUTOMATED THE LOAN DEDUCTED FROM YOUR SALARY ACCOUNT.


How do I resolve this and get them to pay back my money.

lalastica MYND44

KINGJAJA888:
Good day guys. Was about to buy something online through they jiji online market platform. I contacted a guy I met there on the platform cuz he had the product I wanted. D Guy said he didn't have money to transport my goods so out of trust I sent him the full payment of 15,000 with assurance from him that my good will be delivered to me within the next 5 hours. Now Since yesterday till now I haven't received anything and d guy's number has gone switched off. Pls what can I do. 15k ain't small money Biko