noakchukibadan:
Hello,

Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.

I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE

There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.

She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.

OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.

So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.

Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.

I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.

I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.

This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

omu4364:
When i woke up yesterday, I was informed me that the fish in one of our ponds were all dead.
What led to the death of the massive quantity of the fishes is unknown.
At first we thought they were dead because of poisoning.
After a closer look on the pond we discovered that water pollution might have lead to the death of the fishes.

what do u think might have been the cause?
Water pollution or Chemical poisoning?

....Part 2
To put more strain on the family, I lost my job when the company I worked for folded up and left the country. I am home full time against what used to be the case when I worked and lived away from home. She has little respect for me but always want to act like a fully submissive wife.

My wife is very insensitive when upset that she says what she knows will not be cool to say only to regret saying it. For example, she overreacted with the young 18yr old maid. The girl did something and wifey insulted her, the insult got to the girl that she replied for the very first time since 6yrs she's being in our house. I didn't like what she said, my wife now turns around says that my silence means I am fvcking the girl who vowed to keep the secret and rained curses on both of us. She once told me that I wanted to kill her child, because I didn't come back on time with drugs for my sick son. She once told my mum the same thing when my son was admitted in hospital. Its like when her child falls sick, she loses her mind.

For my past 2 jobless years, once my wife comes back from work, I get out of the house to hang out with friends. My drinking has increased and my exposure to waywardness has increased. The fact is, I am not totally immune to cheating on her but I have very strong self control which most times stops me short of doing it. I have friends who pay for hotel room, pay a girl to sleep with me but I will say no thank you and head home only to meet her at the door, rain insults on me, then return to bed. I never sleep out but do come home late.

We fight daily on account of coming home late but in 99% of the time, its just a harmless sitting of guys gisting till 12midnight or 1am in a bar a stone throw from home. The fact that we fight daily means she cannot tolerate any behavior that she doesn't approve. This lack of tolerance means she is obsessed with controlling me; where I go, who I meet, what I eat or drink and when I go or come home. I repeatedly told her she cannot control me but no one can dissuade her from this. This led to a physical confrontation one night that I slapped her. Her father summoned me and once he heard what I had to say, he blamed her. My parents are tired of her numerous reports, her younger sister is tired of hearing our issues.

The reason things are this bad is mainly my phone and the fact that she loses her senses whenever she sees any suggestive reason from my phone of an affair. These supposedly affairs are in 80% of the case real evidence of an affair but 99% of the time, the actual affair (sex) never happened or I never even had any intention of having the affair all the way.

The fact is that I am big sized man and still manage to maintain my car so the girls mostly assume I have plenty of money to spend. I know I don't and am no player so I just play for a while and drop them before or when they make the 1st demand. I don't even want the sex because I know the demands come after so I just want to lay low. Some girls want to spend money on me, I don't like hotels or being in any place I cannot afford so I stay away. Anything beyond beer and p.soup, am usually not interested.

I hardly ever get drunk since I am self conscious which makes me the sober driver to most of my friends. Whenever I return and seemed to have had enough to drink, my wife is waiting to insult me saying all I do is spend my money on beer, p.soup, girls and fuel.

I am jobless with exhausted savings but she says these things when actually my friends pay my bills buy fuel for me and do those stuff for us to hang out. The last deal that got me a 7digit payout which didn't last 3 months due to debts, I cleared mine, hers, my parent's and her parents debts in one shot. Paid my children's 3 terms sch fees and cleared 2yrs owed rent and stocked my house and my parent's store but till today, she insults me that I spent the money on beer and women. Yes, I "retaliated" my friends some favours for constantly being there for me, especially financially but not a kobo spent on any woman. She hates my friends, has refused to come out from the bedroom to welcome some of them if they showed up at home. The ones she like, they enjoy her cooking and sing her praises but the ones she doesn't like are aware she doesn't want them around.

I like socializing and would not leave the opportunity of not collecting a beautiful girl's number. We may make several calls, chat, hangout but it almost never gets to the bedroom before I bailed. If you ask my wife, I am a serial cheater, she has countless episodes of evidences from my phone or clothes but never a real proof. She has seen lipstick, shadow powder on my shirts, what looks like cum on my boxers, WhatsApp messages where the entire gist will convince even a 5 year old that I am having an affair. Yet, all these are categorically misleading with no harm done.

However, that doesn't mean i have never done it, yes i have, a very few times when it was very convenient but everything she always thinks she sees or is an evidence turns out to be nothing. I simply take a girls number lead her on for a week or 2 then forget. This leaves evidence on my phone that often times gets forgotten at the bottom of the contact list that my wife will dig out anytime I mistakenly leave my phone unlocked.

This mistake happened last night when I let her watch a movie in my phone, i slept off, then she went on to search through, my recent calls, contacts, WhatsApp, pictures etc. Normally, she would copy out the female contacts, especially new ones and the ones she doesn't know. If she notices any reason to call one of them, she will call to threaten them. She even called my former boss secretary's number but she was lucky the call didn't link back to me. She is constantly watching me like a hawk hooked on prey. She accuses me of spending on girls which by my standards is the last thing I do. I take my responsibilities very seriously, I will never spend a Kobo that I know will fill a hole at the home front.

I have contemplated divorce but cannot cause harm to my children.

I am not asking for what to do about the situation, I know what I have to do is to endure at least for the sake of my children. At this time, she also has to endure some of the times I do. I am not a womanizer but I can't promise that once a while I will not have a fling. My only issue is that, whenever I actually have sex outside, I can't totally hide the fact at home because I totally lose interest in having sex with her.

I had a thought, maybe my transgressions are the reason I am broke and can't seem to recover from the financial avalanche that has swept my life, my wife's attitude puts a bad taste in my mouth that I need external intervention to stay afloat.

Meanwhile, she is the bread winner now so all I can do is to always be out of the house or lock myself in the room to get some peace and sanity in my mind. It is actually not a coincidence that when things became financial bad for me, my wife became a thorn in my flesh.

Instead of regretting that I married her, I try to occupy my mind with thoughts of my beautiful children and if its not strong enough to put her off, I get a drink or a babe to help.

Lastly, my wife is ignorant because she will not accept any reasonable explanation once she hears or sees me calling another girl dear, honey, sweetie, babie or any endearing name. She is incomprehensive because even when she reports me to her parents, my parents or her sister and they tell her how wrong she was, it seems the words enter one ear and come out of the other. I can't get her to understand basic and simple principles of life. She is only driven by emotions and physical evidence, every other thing is bullshit.

I am more concerned of my joblessness and my children's welfare than my wife's troubles that made my hair turn almost completely grey at 39.

Below is the screenshot of what spooked her for this morning insults. This chat is last girl I dated before we married. Just an innocent chat of two seperately married ex.boy and girlfriend checking up on each other. See the date on the chat which was the last time. The 2nd problem is a new female name in my contacts.

DriggityDre:

Ha ha . DMX my dude. But bros don fall far o. Net worth is negative 10M dollars (debt).
He con get like 15 children. Now he's currently a pastor in Arizona.

Sharp guy. He wants to tap into the hottest market

veave:
Loool. I'm actually the opposite. I HATE CLUTTER. I detest keeping things on the floor it irritates the living day light out of me hence I throw things away or give them out immediately I notice I don't have use for them anymore. My husband is the opposite, he can hoard for the whole of Africa and can keep unnecessary things it makes my head turn. I've dedicated one room to him that's where he keeps all his property. Can't kill myself abeg. Me that can't remember the last time I bought a shoe or dress because it's not necessary.

seglabsy:
PLS SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCE

SadiqBabaSani:
This is how your phone can save your life in certain Circumstances.

VERY VITAL INFORMATION

We the youth of today are fond of putting password/patterns on our phones which makes it difficult for someone to access it in case of emergency situation. But with these few knowledge I'm going to share, perhaps we can save ourselves and the lives of others also.

STEP 1

When your phone is locked, it normally shows enter password, under it you will see emergency. Click on the emergency, then you will see emergency information. Click on the emergency information *(2 times)*. You will see a pencil icon on your extreme right, click on it to edit.

STEP 2

Then enter the contacts you want to save as emergency. You can put as many contacts as possible but I advice you save numbers of active people who know you very well (Family/friend).

Now these contacts you have saved can be called even when your phone is locked without entering your password.

Note this.

FEEL FREE TO SHARE

Police, FRSC Take Note.

dru23:
This is dru23 , I am warning the public that I no longer have any business with Richard Jacob .. He is an uber driver....


This man has been the worse driver since I started investing in uber .. He damaged my car and took off . And he has refused to pay my money and damages he did to my car ..

After spending over 100k naira to put my car together for him . He got into an accident few days ago. I asked him to pay for the damages and he refuse.. Am warning members of the public or investors to stay clear from him

jettybrian:
I AM SENDING THIS POST TO INFORM NIGERIANS OF THE SCAM TECHNIQUE BY LAPO MICROFINANCE BANK AND ITS PERSONNEL.
THEY USE ANOTHER NAME BECAUSE THEY KNOW PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO ASSOCIATE THEM.

I work with Lagos state government and I received a message from "CityGate Global" to call Wunmi on 0816134315* if I need a loan. I placed the call and she demanded for my details and I got the alert of #200k from "LAPO" I called to inform her that I didn't request a loan from LAPO but she said they just used the name CityGate as a bulk message platform (which was a lie telling from the message I received). I asked how come she didn't inform me about the name of the company ahead.

The money was already in my account I was told "the conditions" involved before I applied so name doesn't really matter. The conditions I agreed to was to pay #20,000/month for 12months to make #240,000

But to my greatest amazement, I was being charged #22906.67/month, which will make #274,880. This was not the agreement!

I called to complain, she first said that it was a mistake that it will be corrected and I will get the refund, but that didn't happen. She later said that she forgot to tell me the actual interest rate, that she made a mistake. I said I can't pay for her error... She stopped picking my calls or replying my messages and the interest deduction was already automated on my salary account. So, there is no need to talk with me again.

Until I threatened to arrest her, she then sent me the office address at irorun Plaza kudirat Abiola way and the number of one Mr Collins as her superior, Mr Collins claimed to be the manager heading the branch, when I walked in, he said the only way to resolve the case is to pay off the loan at once without interest on the remaining months.

I requested for my balance and the full details of all charges but both Mr Collins and Mrs Wunmi kept dribbling me, till the Loan entered 6months. Wunmi later sent the balance alone without explanation or break down. Though I have paid the balance but I realised that even as I attempted to terminate the interest on the 6th month, the total money I have paid is #262,388. I don't understand how come and I am not getting any explanation from any of them...

I got into argument several times with them because I was persistent about getting out of the situation while all they wanted to do was drag the process months into months.
I eventually got my balance but as I have suggested, I was overcharged though Mr Collins said I will get a refund of the excess charge by month end.
I have proof of all my statements...



THEY FIRST TRICK YOU WITH LIE ABOUT LOW INTEREST RATE AND LATER SAY THAT THEY MAKE MISTAKES OR MISCALCULATED.

THEY WON'T SHOW YOU YOUR BALANCE EVEN WHEN YOU REQUESTED FOR IT.

THEY WONT RESPOND TO YOU ONES THEY HAVE AUTOMATED THE LOAN DEDUCTED FROM YOUR SALARY ACCOUNT.


How do I resolve this and get them to pay back my money.

lalastica MYND44

KINGJAJA888:
Good day guys. Was about to buy something online through they jiji online market platform. I contacted a guy I met there on the platform cuz he had the product I wanted. D Guy said he didn't have money to transport my goods so out of trust I sent him the full payment of 15,000 with assurance from him that my good will be delivered to me within the next 5 hours. Now Since yesterday till now I haven't received anything and d guy's number has gone switched off. Pls what can I do. 15k ain't small money Biko

solex2346:
My wife is found of the habit of sending our maid which am the one paying her salary to her parents anytime she's travelling and she will call her back when she's back? why would she be the only one benefiting from our house maid,i would be the one cooking my food,washing plates and my clothes anytime my wife is away,am tired of all these shits. pls advise me ooo

Mimiey:
Hello Nairalanders.

He rough handled me on my first visit to his house, claims to want a serious relationship. Can he really be serious about being serious or he is just a play boy?

So I met this guy about two weeks ago close to my street. He calls but I hardly pick. Eventually, I picked and he asked if he could pick me after work and we hangout. I accepted. He picked me up after work last week Friday. He was quite interesting and funny, he talked freely like he had known me for years but he was really so touchy, I had barely spent 5 minutes in the car and he was already touching my shoulder and even when we were inside the bar, he tried tickling me, at a point, he put his hands close to my waist, I removed it. We both discussed if we had someone we are currently seeing, I am not seeing anyone which is the truth, he said there is an Ex but they just have sex and she has her own relationship. When he was dropping me off, he asked for a close hug, I hugged him and he wanted to pull me closer and kiss. I broke free and got down. He said I am not nice.

Well, we met again on Monday, I took just water intentionally. This time I minded the distance between us. He wanted to see again on Tuesday, I declined. Then at work yesterday, he asked to see after closing. I told him he can come briefly to my work and we can talk a bit in the car and part ways. He said he would like to host me at his house instead, I declined.

Anyway, he came, I got in and he started driving and saying, I will know his house today and besides his phone battery his low. My mood changed immediately and he tried to guilt trip me and said okay should we stop on the road and get a place to charge his phone. I then told him to continue driving to his house. He stopped on the way and got snacks. We got into his house. It was nice and neat.

Then we were watching a movie, he sat down and placed my leg on his, I was cool with this. Then he made moves to kiss and I declined and pulled away. All of a sudden, he started breathing fast, hugged me so tight and kissed me despite I kept pulling away and didn't kiss back. I am weak when it comes to my Bosom, then he got there and gave me the roughest and painful squeezing I have ever experienced. I haven't been with any man in about 7 months now, I am single and It's hard for me to do a little thing as even kissing randomly. So he got me there when he got to my bosom but it took only just few seconds to snap out. He continued panting and begging for me to reciprocate, he is so hard and hasn't felt this way in a while.

I told him I don't want this, he went in frustrated, stamping his feet, I tot he had agreed, only for him to come back naked and saying okay, he has heard no sex and "I don't want to force you", so he asked for a dry hump and wanted me to turn my back. I didn't. He still kept breathing hard, like he wont survive the next minute. Then he started begging for a Mouth Action. I declined and told him I wasn't up for that. I tried pulling, away and getting angry. He became even more aggressive, removed the hands I used to protect my chest and forced his way into my bra. It was a struggle and then back to begging till I made it clear in a thunder voice for him to stop and take me home.

Then he agreed, wore his cloths and kept complaining that I don't know what I have caused and he wont be himself. We left his house and he tried stopping at a Pharmacist and said he needs to get ibuprofen, then he didn't stop again and just continued driving.

This morning, he is apologizing and repeating the things he said when we got to his house that he wants something serious with me and he wants us to start something and want it to work out. He asked to come see me at work today but I declined. With this red flags, is there a possibility that he is truly serious like he said? Or he is just doing the usual lies to get the cookie and go away. He has a nice ride and nice house, I suspect he may have girls around him. My concern isn't all these, I just want to be with a serious man who is in for commitment and not just sex.

He rough handled me on my first visit to his house, can he be sincere about wanting to be serious?

kennybabs1980:
Chuks is a great guy, a good friend of mine in my office. He's happily married as far as I'm concerned. His wife is a school teacher and they have two kids. But I noticed that a particular beautiful lady comes to check on him in the office at least once a week. I asked him about the lady last week, he said she's just a friend. When I probed further, I discovered that the lady is a single mother of two and works as a nurse. That's last week.
Today he called me by himself and told me he's dating the lady and that his wife caused it. He said his wife has timetable for sex, he can't touch her at anytime he like, she complains a lot and tells him sex is not food. He said there are times she won't allow him to touch her in a whole month and that this causes a lot of arguments in their home incessantly. He said he made up his mind to stop this incessant arguments this year and therefore went for this beautiful single mother who has been satisfying him sexually since January. I told him I didn't agree with his solution to his wife's attitude if its true and he told me he had peace since he ventured outside his matrimonial home to get regular sex and that his wife hasn't ask from him since he stopped asking her for sex since January. Since I ain't in his shoe, I couldn't really prevail on him to stop?
Is this a genuine reason for adultery?
Can't he make more effort to sort things out with his wife?
Can't this strange lady cause trouble for him in his family?

olatunyemi:
Please how may I retrieve my account. I had the two steps verification and the hacker has changed it, he changed my password and even email, I couldn't verify the account or have access to it till the next seven days according to Whatsapp helpline.

Please come to my aid as the guy has started using my account for different transactions and trying to dupe people

Nobledavid:
just like mtn *131*65# does airtel have there own?

Bishopvic:
Good day my country people pls am in dilemma and need your matured advice.biko am not good in writing thank you. their is this girl I met 3 months ago via my friend girlfriend. about 2 weeks of our hangout she moved in with me and I realized she was into runz. Which I asked her to stop and i also told her our relationship conditions which she agree to cooperate with.conditions is we are not getting married and I advised her to stop her wired life styles of runz,smoking,drugs and getting a better life for her self. And yes am very proud of her she has stopped all this and seriously looking for a job.(was not easy sha) I won't blame her though she has a rough parental up bringing by the age of 20 she is already into full-time runz and living weird life styles.by 22 she was a victim of human traffic for sex slaves in one of West Africa countries she escaped and got her freedom early this year after she was 5 months pregnant.(her escape leed to the arrest of the people involved in the trafficking) she aborted the baby early this year after so many attempts with help from her mother. 2 months after abortion she is already back to the streets(She will be 23 next month) hustling from one guy house to the other 3 months ago she met me I advised her to stop and yes she has stopped. I actually want to help her by giving her little change to help her self but she might not mange it well. now my problems is I believe she is overstaying in my house am not that kind of person that keeps visitors for long(already told her these) also all my friends be like I should discharge her before something go wrong like she might get pregnant or be filling over comfortable in my house ( and yes she is really feeling comfortable these days) secondly since I don't know her or her baground she might be of harm spiritual or physical. i actually want her out but she will cry heavenly and say she don't want to stay with her mom or her girlfriends she is likely to go back in to her old life styles which she don't want to, as all her friends are runz girls things like this week me especially when she is emotional and be praying for me for all the help,money,gift and support I have render her to change. But I still want her out of my house as I can't be living with someone I am not getting married to I have never done that before.

Optimus212:

Hi Nairalanders....Please Admin, help me push to Front Page, i'm in dire need of people's opinions.

Pls ignore my writing skills because the way the matter be, my head dey shake like this.

My story is brief.

I am married to my wife & we're blessed with 3 kids,
..My wife starves me of sex over minor issues, even when we've settled by my apologies & me assisting remarkably well in house chores.
There was a period 2 years back she starved me of sex for 4 months because of one little misunderstanding we had back then which was unbearable for me & made me to cheat on her,..And my relationship lasted for more than a year with that lady.

Right now she (my wife) has started again with same attitude, its going to a month now. I am confused because I don't want to cheat on her again. What do i do? Should i keep facing such punishment? For how long? Or, should i file for a divorce? Don't you think such attitude will have reoccurrences in time coming?. It is disturbing me badly because I find it difficult to be sleeping alone at nite without her by my side. I have begged & begged her to let whatever anger towards me that is deposited in her to just die off, yet to no avail. The funny thing is, we'll discuss and play very well before going to bed but, whenever I start making advances towards her, she shows up a different attitude.

I am confused!! It is really really disturbing me. How & where did I go wrong?.

Pls, matured advices only, you can insult me too, of course its Nairaland but, I need serious advice, I am very worried.
Thanks.

GistmoreNG:
GISTMORE.COM

Igbo man waste no time as he decides to check out his wife-to-be backside in lovely pre-wedding photos. The man wouldn't want to lose so let him at least check the market he wants to pay money for before he buys! Lol

The beautiful couple are from Abia state Igbo traditional attires.

BY GISTMORE :: http://gistmore.com/igbo-man-check-wife-backside-lovely-pre-wedding-photos

frowland:
Dantata and Sawoe surely.
Some years back when I was part of a project team there, that tall building was an abandoned project. They play evening football leagues somewhere close to it everyday.
Whats going on there with too many solar panels?

biafraisdead:

Months back I was in a similar relationship before I finally call it a quit(I also intend to keep her as a wife, I have even introduced her to my people). I always apologise to her even while she was at fault and she will never admit been at fault or even say sorry, though she would stupidly tell me at times that her bad side is her being too proud and that she was working on her self to correct it. the day I ended the relationship was a day she insulted me and I just told her I won't call her again but she thought I was joking and since that day(over 7 months now) I haven't called her neither has she called me(because of pride). But I know she is seriously dieing now her problem is for her to call me and say 'I am sorry' she keeps calling me with unknown numbers and each time I pick she would end the call without saying anything but I know she is behind those calls, also she keeps stalking me on LinkedIn, she doesn't know LinkedIn sends u profile of people viewing ur profile. so my brother if u try to change her and she is not changing I would advise u to let her go; imagine what u would go through when u finally marry her, we shouldn't allow love to block our senses at times. any man or woman that can't say sorry is not worthy to be a husband or a wife. By the way where is she from cos we may be talking about the same girl.

saintade01:
I have a situation right now where the younger bullies his older brother.

He is 2 and the older is 4, but because he's almost the same height with the older one and a bit fatter, he uses every opportunity to ride his brother. Though the older is calm and homely, very gentle and highly intelligent, he even takes care of this younger one as a big brother but this boy will forcefully collect foods, drinks, toys and even his bigger bicycle from him.

I sometimes tell the big brother to beat him and stand up to him whenever he comes with his bullying but that most times results into fights and I don't like seeing them in wrestlemania.

Please parents with similar issues how do you tame them?