₦airaland Forum

There are many reasons to respect our adult children when they are focused and well behaved but hardly any reason to fear them. All cultures preach respect and honor for our parents especially in their old age. It is the responsibility of parents to take care and provide for children. When we can, children should take care of their parents and if they are not able, show them kindness and love, even if they are financially independent.

Women have to be protected, not only from abusive husbands but also from their own sons that may have gone haywire. The same children some women suffered for in abusive relationships so that they can have a man at home. There is no superwoman strong enough in a single family home. But it is even worse if the woman ends up maimed or dead in any abusive relationship.

One horrible video that went viral of a young man that beat and abused his mother was enough to haunt most people. The men and Youths in the community tied him to a tree and caned him appropriately. We do not beat or hardly abuse our parents in Africa. When young adults become unreasonable and uncomfortably distant from their parents, it is time to part ways. No matter what, unlucky mothers realize that the respect and fear of the husbands they rejected, may have been passed on to an unruly son.

https://www.modernghana.com/news/1272344/most-parents-love-and-respect-adult-children-more.html

MOST PARENTS LOVE & RESPECT ADULT CHILDREN MORE THAN ONE ANOTHER

There are many reasons to respect our adult children when they are focused and well behaved but hardly any reason to fear them. All cultures preach respect and honor for our parents especially in their old age. It is the responsibility of parents to take care and provide for children. When we can, children should take care of their parents and if they are not able, show them kindness and love, even if they are financially independent.

Women have to be protected, not only from abusive husbands but also from their own sons that may have gone haywire. The same children some women suffered for in abusive relationships so that they can have a man at home. There is no superwoman strong enough in a single family home. But it is even worse if the woman ends up maimed or dead in any abusive relationship.

One horrible video that went viral of a young man that beat and abused his mother was enough to haunt most people. The men and Youths in the community tied him to a tree and caned him appropriately. We do not beat or hardly abuse our parents in Africa. When young adults become unreasonable and uncomfortably distant from their parents, it is time to part ways. No matter what, unlucky mothers realize that the respect and fear of the husbands they rejected, may have been passed on to an unruly son.

There are also good and conscientious men out there who have never beaten their wives but suffer from neglect. Broke and dejected after spending all their goodwill and life savings on families that turned out to be ingrates. Many women would bear the fault of their children, especially sons for habits they hardly tolerate from husbands. Yet, women rightly depend on fathers to discipline erring kids. Some adult children hold this against their fathers.

Nevertheless, parents fear unpredictable behavior of some children, especially their sons. It gets worse when the father is absent. Grown children are just more difficult for single parents to nurture. Providing for children in single family homes may require two or three jobs taking parents out of the house most of the time. Without adults at home, children take to the unpredictable jungle and drugs in the mean streets.

The world is changing and some parents are losing control of their children before they become adults. A son may become more domineering than his father, claiming to be the new man of the house. As soon as they start making a little money, though not enough to take care of themselves, some of them grow wings. But if either of their parents threaten to kick them out, they complain of an unkind father. Strong single parent mothers are overwhelmed.

Some of these sons exploit it as a weakness or love of their mothers. Even when children make more money than their parents, they may take advantage of their old lady by asking for favors from the little money mothers have. Since their fathers would query some bad spending habits more than mothers. By the time they leave home, children of the middle class would come home and raid the goodies at their parents' home.

The mothers are always happy to be generous while their children's poor colleagues would furnish the homes of parents with groceries and more. Some parents may end up living with their children because they moved back home or one of the parents may move in with one of their children to babysit since she may be too old to live alone. It is much easier for the mothers than the fathers.

The rules change and are more complicated especially for parents that used to be in charge of their own houses. Moving in with sons, some little competition for the attention of their sons arise. Son may be torn between them, usually between wife and mother. It gets complicated or frivolous when the wife and the mother demand to sit beside their husband or son (in the car). By the way, it happens everywhere, though rare in Africa.

We may not generalize but family sanity is much better in Africa than for Africans in the Diaspora. It was U.S President Reagan Housing Secretary Patricia Harris that said she did not just stop being the slave of the white man just to become the slave of the Black man. Well, some sons in Africa and the world missed that memo. Women did not stop being the slave of husbands only to be cowed by their sons. Indeed strong women would not take from their sons the behavior they rejected from husbands.

Mothers are easier to manipulate or manage than fathers. They are also more useful at home than fathers. When mothers are staying with their adult children's family, they help out in the house cooking and babysitting while husband and wife are working. But the fathers hardly stay long with their children's family or help out in the house. There is not enough room in the ship for two captains. One must stand down.

There are enough warnings out there that fathers should save some money they would need when the time comes. Since the fathers are not as useful to their children as the mothers in their adult years, he may become lonely in his old age. Most fathers spend all their time working in order to make enough to take care of families. Those wealthy enough go beyond the call of duty, send their children overseas for "good education" that turned sour.

Unfortunately, what they considered good education abroad alienated their children from African culture, a duty to parents especially in their old age by miseducation. These children only come back home on short holidays or whenever either of the parents passes away. In short, they become a lost generation. They are hardly tolerated or respected abroad and in most cases underemployed working under natives that are far less educated or as qualified.

There are enough warnings to men that women have come a long way. They are no longer the mothers they grew up with. So, men are advised to prepare for their old age and make adequate preparation for their physical and financial health. No matter how much contribution a man made to the family, only a fool will compete for the attention of children with their mother. How for do nah!

Meanwhile, children bring their mothers closer to their homes in Africa or overseas as they desert their fathers. If these fathers keep enough money for their old age, they can afford to hire help around the house. Other fathers may even marry a younger wife that will take care of their needs. But only if he does not fall into the wrong hands of another "chop and go: igi da eye fo".

Source

My Advice:

Desirable Men Want First Choice Wise Ladies Settle For Best Man

https://www.modernghana.com/news/1270942/desirable-men-want-first-choice-wise-ladies-settle.html

https://www.nairaland.com/7900557/desirable-men-want-first-choice

Jonathan don tok say stealing is not corruption, so weytin be your sress

No need going in circles just for argument sake.

1. Point to any benevolent Mentor for all Nigerians that was not furthering the sole interest of his ethnic base - apart from Herbert Macauley.

2. Mention Activists from any part of Nigeria fighting for all, apart from an ethnic parochial interest by numbers greater than Yoruba.

3. Who took on and force Ahmadu Bello to campaign in the North, established Opposition Party in the North and the East, apart from Action Group?

4. What is the cause of Akintola's revolt but insisting that Awo must form Alliance with the North instead of the East. Akintola was right, Yoruba cannot be comfortable in Opposition while Zik negotiated with Balewa, Shagari (Ekueme), had notice about Nzeogwu coup while Ironsi and Ojukwu protected him (Nzeogwu)?

5. Who are the Unity Beggars?

Yoruba Youths realized lack of reciprocity and told their parents: Your Mumu Don Do!

Get your point straight.

Tofa came from nowhere, was not even known in the North or Nigeria but the East voted for him over Abiola whose philanthropy included everywhere including East before the Election.

Ojukwu never had an electoral value. He joined the same Northern Party that ran him out of the country and lost senatorial election to an unknown.

Even then, as APGA Presidential candidate, the East voted for him..

This is not the first time Yoruba voted against their sons that lack their Values System. They also voted against OBJ who lost his own local constituency at home.

Akintola was voted against but he was not a Presidential candidate. Get the difference?

Tinubu was a Governor of Lagos State but he lost to Peter Obi in Lagos and lost to Atiku in Osun. Respect Yoruba, if not for anything, on principle and Values System.

Imagine Kayode Adam's, the UNILAG student activist and others insisting on Njoku instead of Biobaku?

Mordecai:


Not true.

In 2003, the SE voted Obasanjo of PDP even when Emeka Odumegwu-Ojukwu of APGA was on the ballot.

In 1993, various parts of the North voted MKO despite Tofa being on the ballot.

Funny

NwaNimo1:
What was the total amount of loot vomited?

https://storage.ko-fi.com/cdn/useruploads/display/261511fc-3b78-4ffc-af1f-327bf38572e1_23.gif

Yeah, as fake as sea and desert experiences and death penalty in Asia. A sacrificial slave at home would rather die outside.

Dougad:
This is fake news

When you underated Guerrillas who are determined and have nothing else to lose, the war continues until you run out of Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan (US and Russia), Beirut and Ukraine has not been taken down in two days!

Japajantis nor dey hia word. Una go learn by tulasi.

When they work hard for more than 2m naira that can make them comfortable in Nigeria, they will be asking PhD Travel agents which country can they Japa to.

Even medical doctors, engineers, lawyers, 419s, drug peddlers dey Japa not to mention politicians.

Sweden Mumu welfare tolerance and accommodation don do! If they can abuse their country, encourage foreign cash mules, they will abuse anywhere they go.

Who can believe that Gaza can be completely annihilated while the world watch.

Who dare shoot Chinese or Russian planes, trucks and ships full of humanitarian goods and services desperately needed in Gaza?

Civilized hypocritical world that pick and choose who are victims whose blood flows for Dracula

CARNAGE: SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST IN A CIVILIZED WORLD

Where in the Civilized World do the Poor and Peaceful People that want to Live and let others live go to find Sanity? We cannot hide. Devoted Muslims and Christians bombed Churches, Mosques and Hospitals calling us: Collateral Damages. When the powerful and the rich have no more disenfranchised and poor folks left within them, they would eat one another.

We are no more civilized than we were a century ago. The powerful, bombed the people, even hospitals back into past ages to install cronies after mass destruction. Artificial Intelligence (AI) in the hands of Barbarians on all sides would soon escalate Star Wars to Drone Wars reducing the world to rumbles. Empires grew until they over extended their capabilities, became weak and crumbled under their own reckless behavior.

Indeed, if we are looking for civilized communities, search the world outside the realm of Superpowers. Any moral, decent and civilized society that remains in this world, must wonder if we ever leave the jungle in the first place as we modernize our new sophisticated weapons of mass destruction. Animal Kingdom provides the Strong and Powerful a false Peace of Mind.

The hope of a grim silver lining, is the realization that no matter how powerful we think we are; defeating determined, unrelenting people has become a daunting task that outlived the Government in power. Though it is not a consolation for the victims of atrocities whose lives as the weak and innocent, have been destroyed. What is the trophy for both sides at the expense of the dead?

Fearing death, we have learned to align with the Strong and Powerful in order to survive for another day! Do what they order or lose your life. It has never changed from the Animal Kingdom where some are more drunkenly obsessed with Power than others. No matter which side we support, the cry of pain and anguish on all sides is the common language we all see and understand. But if you want to hang a dog you deny it dignity and give it repulsive names.

We have watched the anguish of wars on all sides, the cry and loss of the victims are the same. But we have been able to justify the pain inflicted on one another by demonizing one side as terrorists and the other as patriotic activists fighting for the "rule of law". Never admitting our failure to settle our differences amicably, in a civilized manner we professed.

It is the same men that claim to live up to the highest ideal behavior. They are deeply religious, make rules, write regulations and laws that do not apply to them when caught red handed. How are we more civilized when victims and soldiers we call heroes on each side, if they survive, become disabled physically and mentally for the rest of their lives. Even those watching from a distance and innocent children suffer from the fear and vestiges of wars; similar to that of slavery that has reinforced class and inequalities throughout the societies.

What a bunch of hypocrites we are! Recruit young innocent people into productive and moral ventures not Wars. Most people agree that War is ugly, undesirable and destructive. Yet, there are extremists on each side willing to resort to War in order to settle differences. No matter how appalling the consequences of War, some fight willingly or reluctantly to prove how manly and patriotic they are.

Consequences of wars are always worse than the unresolved causes. It has never been the Answer. It boils down to: Men Sacrificing Young Men In Wars for Power and Domination. It is no longer about Tutsi minority groups, as some moderate Hutu and Twa were killed by armed Hutu militias while the whole World watched. It has become regular and even normalized in many parts of our Civilized World. Yet, we say Never Again.

It happened in Sudan, we said Never Again. It happened in Yugoslavia as it is happening in Russia, Ukraine, Israel, Palestine, Cambodia Khmer Rouge, Taiwan fear of China, Rohingya in Myanmar, North and South Korea etc. The only protection left for the poor and the weaker people is acquisition of Nuclear Power. Even then, watch as the victims of yesterday become the oppressors of today in the so-called Civilized World!

Nobody would deny that we made great advancement in modernization since man came out of the caves but make no mistake about it. The greatest achievement is in the power of Mass Destruction we can use to threaten one another, bring adversaries in line or destroy the World! The power of force diminished every achievement we have made because we use it within our communities to enforce Castes system and outside our community to subjugate others to the food chain of the economic ladder.

However, after destruction and misery, subjugation of the less privileged, weak and the emasculated side; it boils down to the survival of the fittest. The continual jungle mentality we reawaken in every generation by appealing to our patriotism: "once more unto the beach"! As the leader, dictator, general or cleric achieved his goal, we become subjected to the feet, the whims and caprices of power hungry men that see themselves as civilized ordained gods.

From Rwanda, Sudan, Yugoslavia to Hiroshima we see common traits of the inhumanity of man against man. After all, we are made to believe that we can pray and repent making a promise to God that Never Again! This hypocrisy stinks to high heavens. Who is willing and honestly going to trust our lives in the hands of leaders that gain power either by election campaign to fool the gullible voters against their own self interest, by coup or force to maltreat those masses in a disadvantageous relationship with any dignity?

Therefore, Russia acquired Nuclear bombs because they saw the effect on Hiroshima. China became a superpower when Chairman Mao Tseng Song decided humiliation and subjugation are worse than hunger. He made sure acquisition of Nuclear power takes precedence over anything else. Gadhafi's ambition to become a Nuclear Power botched by accepting a counter offer that promised a better deal. He suffered the same fate as Lumumba in Congo in the name of Freedom.

Other countries have come to the same conclusion since the best deterrent against subjugation is the fear of retaliation by annihilation of one another within the world. We must learn from how the creation of rival opponents failed in Afghanistan and encouragement of Hamas as my enemy's enemy against PLO Arafat; turned out. Creating opposition parties in order to divide and rule may produce uncontrollable Frankenstein out of whack.

There is hope. Determined unrelenting people that have nothing else to lose, defeat Super Powers in protracted wars. The OYO Cabinet system, closer to Western democracy, remains the ideal most Africans, Europeans and Americans prefer. But Religious and Right Western extremists employ the same means as China and Russia to kick out Liberal democracy using naive gullible voters. Many dictators came to Power by their votes, not only by coup d'etat.

Source

Eyaa, our brothers are looking for white women to worship and cloth in beautiful traditional attire for show.

Lagos Government rescued her before our brothers from Ndi-Igbo Eberibe, took her home.

Abi no be white skin she get?

The Father Of All Nigerian Ethnic Groups

It is very interesting that most of the Ethnic groups claim association to the Nile Valley, somewhere in Sudan, Egypt etc. but no association to one another in Nigeria. On their way from or to Egypt through what we now know as Nigeria, these Ethnic groups never met? Usually, they were each King or Queen, first lady. Who were their subjects? It may remind you of most of our parents who always took first in their classes when they were students. Who came second?

Africans are great sojourners, and they left their genetic traits all over the world. Please see YORUBA WORLD EXPLORATION AND THE LOSS OF DYNASTIES. If Africans were in Australia before the time of Christ, in America before Columbus and spread all over great distances, we should wonder why they never knew or had anything to do with one another until the British created NIGERIA!

Apart from the article mentioned above, I also relied on an article by Sola Omole on the Ijaw, another by the Ijaw Nation. Of course, I also depend on different histories of the Ethnic groups. However, I must admit that many are just like blind men describing an elephant we call Nigeria. Each was about its group but not how it relates to Nigeria, the giant of Africa

By: Farouk Martins, Omo Aresa 2005

http://www.edo-nation.net/articles/the-father-of-all-nigerian-ethnic-groups-1179

http://www.gamji.com/article5000/NEWS5174.htm

They will never listen. It is Olorunsogo syndrome. Imagine comparing salaries without taxes, cost of living and wasted highly qualified talented migrants eating crumbs from masters' tables. Too ashamed and disappointed to tell their stories.

Another factor is the caste untouchable stigma at home that make them decide nothing can be worse.

In a video, when they were caught with drug, was asked if they were aware of death penalty. They said they know. They also know about Asma Boys across the sea and desert that take body organs from them, sell them as slaves for anything desired.

Cry for Africans.

BloomingDale:
White men should please stop all these mass migration to their countries, and help us help the African man to stay and build his country. [b]Don’t allow the African man to eat from the table you have prepared for yourselves, women and children. Help us help him prepare his own table for himself, women and children. [/b]I beg of you. The shame is too much for us that they cannot build a decent civilization for himself, women and children.

Any ethnic group that use other people to excel have to come with formidable Army to subjugate their hosts. This is what Europeans and Americans did and are still doing around the world.

If Africans think they can be assimilated into Europe and America the way we tolerate, accommodate and assimilate one another, Europeans, Americans, Asians in Africa, are daydreaming.

Open your eyes, hostilities against migrants in Europe and America not only in Libya today are gaining voters as they see you as pollutants of their cultures.

It is a pity that African Youths are celebrating their crumbs from their masters tables and sending stories home to attract talents and resources into glorified slavery.

You do not know the consequences of tolerance by just a few of them that can be punished and ostracized in their own society. Lyching of Africans, even of native Blacks with rope or dragging tied rope to a truck in rural areas where the sun does not shine is still a reality in 2023. They just have to lure you there or kidnapper you.

Today Africans are still celebrating Europeans and Americans "tokenism" while ignoring suffering of Blacks and Native Indians majority. There was even a thread on marrying white girls celebration!

Colo-mentality is strong within us.

I cannot believe that so called educated Nigerians lose their heads to sneak ethnic points into foreign affairs.

Like Saudi Arabia ordered the killing of their citizen in their Embassy on American soil, Indian authorities killed a Canadian Sheik in Canada who was an activist against Indian Government.

Nigerians picked up the malicious allegation intentionally used to soil Justin T. because he came out against India for such gruesome murder.

webm:
A lot of Nigerians are daft and can be seen in these comments. They can believe anything that’s published without verification nor asking questions.

Canada and India are having a row with each other due to killing of a Canadian citizen by India. This has led to both withdrawing their ambassadors and several other things. This publication is from India, you shouldn’t believe it and be tribal over it like this. The UK guy that tweeted it pulled it from India news.

We really have problem in Nigeria

Creation of states created more politicians and more looters. Politics became means of livelihood where 90% of the budget went to administrators managing 10% of the budget on capital infrastructure for the rest of the people.

Western Region richer, developed as one state far better than any Region in Nigeria. Their enemies claimed it was too big.

Which company, country or enterprise so managed by the lion share of the budget can survive?

The Egboid in the Midwest wanted their own state and the got it as one of their sons as Governor.

Of course, it did not end there. Minorities in the East saw an opportunity. Issac Boro and Saro Wiwa wanted their own state. Who crushed Boro?

Then Rivers, Cross Rivers and Balyelsa.

She you think sey you are doing me, eh?

You are doing yourself!

The schrewd politicians in the North, outfoxed the South as usual. They used it to their advantage creating states and local governments to grab more money.

I do not agree with everything Kemi said especially the line politicians always use that we are not rich because we produce less oil with our population compared to Kuwait or Saudi Arabia with less population.

Nigeria was richer and more prosperous with Cocoa income. Enormous Oil income sent us into abject poverty.

Tianamen1 I agree with you.

Remember this:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gTpBsSwgl4?si=8xbiGLRLWfNkRLP5

Thanks.

Buy all the problems you indicated happened to every country and they bounced out of it. What I do not like is - if we have, if we have done this or that. If you think things were good between 2004 - 2014, we should cry for Nigeria even then.

Remember, we had a Civil War, the worst calamity apart from earthquake, yet we bounced back. Where are the brains that managed Nigerian economy then?

Who turned us into the most liberal market in the world so that we could import pins, pencils, used goods and garbage looking for dump sites?

Tianamen1:
There are external factors that have changed since 2014, that have adversely affected Nigeria. This include the Shale oil revolution, the U.S. increase in interests rates, China-U.S. trade relations, Covid-19, global debt crisis, etc. Nigeria did not plan for these events. When things were good for Nigeria between 2004-2014, we should have invested in basic education, physical infrastructure, healthcare, and saved money for a rainy day.

Between 2014-2023, we should have implemented some sort of structural adjustment by increasing taxes. Madam Kemi Adeosun tried to implement this but was removed on the flimsy basis of not having an NYSC certificate.

Even if Adeosun was successful, Nigeria would still have passed through some trying times, but it would not have been this bad.

What MrVitalis is trying to say is that if smarter people were at the helm of affairs in Nigeria, better decisions would have been made. He is absolutely right.

Now? In100 days?

You are a joke! You prefer Buhari or the devil than a Yoruba.

Even Tinubu, you worked with him to remove Lady Speaker Akande to install Tambulwa so that Igbo could be the Deputy Speaker. Well done.

mrvitalis:
2015 was not good but better than today reason I supported apc who have now become worse at everything PDP was bad at

Added Tribalism n nepotism to it... Yet instead of you to call them out you are being tribal

So in 2015, the best brains rescued Nigeria from abject poverty?

You can never change until you see Nigeria sink to the bottom of the ocean.

Then Japa! Or maybe you have, making money to support your family there by sucking every living cell and blood out of Nigeria.

mrvitalis:
You are here jumping from pillar to post can't even make a simple point

Devaluation is the solution but there are other things you must do to accompany floating of a currency

Where is the access to credit?
Were is the economic framework to make raw materials importation easy
In fact where is the government frame work guide for areas we had comparative advantage

Nothing zero

Yes PDP was corrupt yes absolutely but they were at least moving in the right direction

What won't you give to have our economy back to how it was in 2015 ? Tell me

Why are we like this? So hypocritical it hurts.

This same guy supported Structural Adjustment, every devaluation even when IMF "regretted" not taking socioeconomic culture into consideration.

Who has monopoly on best brains, merit, selfishness and greed in Nigeria?

Maybe Ebele Azikiwe Jonathan who cornered all the powerful economic, head all the constitutional committees positions and Army with Biafrans.

Only in Nigeria are your types relevant.

mrvitalis:
How do you think Nigerian super eagle would perform if the players are selected in the same nepotistic way leaders in Nigeria are selected

You can't even begin to talk tactics when you haven't been able to assemble your best brains

Nigeria is enjoying the consequences of years of nepotistic promotion, appointment and selections

Government is not rocket science

Since he has doubled down and even disown the wise apology of his estranged wife, are you still supporting the stubborn elder that should have known better?

Praxis758:
Same OBJ knelt down for the Olu of Warri and prostrated for the Ooni of Ife when both were installed respectively.

He was praise as being a good respected of our culture then. We need to see the full version of the video to know and see what actually transpired. Releasing and circulating snippet isn’t justice.

I’ve never heard OBJ disrespecting our culture.

While other continents are waking up to consequences of Devaluation and even use it to their advantage (China); Africans still believe there is salvation in sight doing the same thing since the 70s.

When is it or what is worse than Zimbabwe dollars?

When it comes to drug peddling, Obi and Tinubu are twins. Chinenye is still in Asian jail.

Find out about Noriega of Panama.

There is more to food than satisfying the belly. A basic necessity if you are poor.

Food also has social fulfillment in Naija you cannot find anywhere.

Foreign olosho, be careful. Some young football players from the States were accused of rape in Canada over paying more when she found out they were highly paid. It can rarely happen in Nigeria.

All others factors listed are recommended by phycologists for long life. You cannot beat Nigeria after satisfying and learning your lessons abroad.

This question of whether Oba should stand up when elected politician walks in has been going on for a while.

The Story is that Bode Thomas never recovered when he tried and failed to get Alafin to stand up and failed.

Gbenga Daniel told Alake to come to his office and apologize.

The point remains that Yoruba do not take kindly to Oba standing up for politicians.

Abacha and others have dethroned Sultan and Emir.

Woke ridiculed Igbo traditional rulers in open gathering.

Lagosians did not like the way Tinubu or even Oba Eko disrespected Oni of Ife.

Suffice to say give respect when due.

A word is enough for the wise