₦airaland Forum

I think the guy tried, but the problem was just too complex for him. At least we saw his passion and efforts.

omobadan:
The Yoruba wont do anything. We'll let you people hurt each other and we'll be in Tantaliser eating fried rice and chicken.

semid4lyfe:
All these legends & emerging legends are mostly peeps who are active in politics, celebrities, Tv/movies, Music etc sections. How come there is no-one from the technology boards like Computer, phones etc?

Jarus, do your research well. Dualcore fomerly Sawyerkenn should be on the list as a legend.

Thanks. I'll check them out, even though I know Dualcore is a popular name on NL. If you have more people you feel should make the list, put their names forward and let's review them. We still have more spaces.

Hello to all welcomers,
I've not been on this thread for some days, no thanks to my immersion into political debates and that my self-given project on '50 Nairalanders of all time' which have kept me in Politics and Nairaland sections respectively.

Anyway, signing in from office on a Sunday evening. Gotta wrap up somethings so as to lessen my work in the week. . .
I don't know why I like weekend work, maybe I was influenced by my direct boss since 2008 who also likes weekend work so much so that there is hardly any weekend he wont come to office. And I hardly claim extra-duty allowance.
Personally, I have observed that what I can do in two hours on a weekend, I can't do it in a whole day on weekday. This, I think, arises from the fact that during weekdays, I get a lot of disturbance from people making one or more requests, affecting my concentration.
Maybe when I marry, I'll learn to use my weekend on private things.

Cesspool

Sorry for the lull. We are still updating.

ROTFLMAO on the Ba Mukaila expert on National grid and 'if you stole my maize' notice

Lagos is just one very funny city, especially for someone that itinerates.
The last time we had an interesting discussion on Common Madness in Lagos: https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-364306.0.html

Now can we have fun again discussing funny bus stop names in Lagos?

The following Bus Stops around Ajah environs and in other places crack me up:

-Igbo Efon
-Takuti Jesu
-Pako

More to come as I remember

I'm surprised reading that a country as popular as Kenya is just producing a player that is tasting UCL for the first time. Even more surpising is the fact that they have never produced a player in the EPL.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/africa/8572670.stm

When countries like Cameroun, Nigeria, Ghana and CIV are counting the number of UCL finals or EPL titles their players have won.

In 2005, Eto'o should have come second behind only Ronnie. I don't think Lampard did much enough to come second in that year. Eto'o and Dinho shook the world of football in 2004/2005. He was the second best player in the world at the time, not third.

A prophet is not recognized in his own land . See Ghanaians eulogizing our own Mikel
http://discussions.ghanaweb.com/viewtopic.php?t=118978

Kobojunkie:
Babangida ke? Ha na wa oo!!!

Welcome back, Kobo.

Na wa o. Must she be in government by force. Now I believe the allegation of late Adedibu that Dora came to beg her for ministerial appointment. This level of desperation is nauseating. Dora has totally lost a fan in me. She is just another PDP politician after all.

Bread, tea and beans

Ibime:
hehehehe. . . . looks like the writer is trying to show off as well. . . .
Anyway, can the writer prove that Obahiagbon was actively involved in sabotaging legislative processes that would have averted the recent constitutional quaqmire over Yaradua's health?

Exactly my thought when I also saw the article. A case of from frying pan to fire or behaving like a Roman in Rome?

This is for all members of Igodomido Fans and bashers club on Nairaland


Habeas Corpus, Honourable Obahiagbon
By Chidi Odinkalu

A S the Honourable Member representing the proud people of Oredo Federal Constituency of Edo State in the House of Representatives, Patrick Obahiagbon is one of those with the privileged responsibility to help end the current crisis of political leadership in Nigeria. To his credit, he has denounced the "judicial macossa dance" over the health of the President, warned against the "constitutional inanity and giddy vacuousity" of stretching the Constitution "to a point of deleterious elastoplasts" and decried the "absurdist theatre" of the "Nigerian political cinematography", which reeks "with ostentatious display of wealth, crass opportunism and vanitas vanitatum."

If you still wonder what all this means, Honorable Obahiagbon protests that he does "not set out deliberately to mystify my audience, to deposit my audience in a portmanteau of indecipherability or in portmanteau of conundrum." His language is the result of a long period of immersion in "societal dialectics" and "the aqua of political cross-currents", which put him in a good position "to contribute efficaciously in a utilitarian modus." To achieve this immersion, the Honorable explains, he spends several hours daily cramming his English Dictionary and has done so for over a quarter of a century. It shows.

Anyone who has the time to devote to studying chapter and verse the English Dictionary for so long and the commitment to showing off the results of such endeavour surely lends themselves to the accusation of suffering a variant of Harold Ickes' "Halitosis of the intellect", or Aneurin Bevan's "fundamentally sterile mind." Honourable Obahiagbon's dictionary is different though. It is polyglot - with generous helpings of Latin, some dance-hall Macossa from Central Africa and a bit of Nigerianese. He advises his colleagues in Parliament, for instance, to "avoid regular big stouting, suyaing" because "big stouting and peppersouping, are not the real issues."

Of course, the marriage of the politician and the foreign language is sometimes risqu� Recall former U.S. Vice President, Dan Quayle's promise to brush up on his Latin before a trip to Latin America . Tony Blair's former Prime Minister, John Prescott, on landing home after a particularly turbulent flight, was reported to have said: "It's great to be back on terra cotta." Apparently, he meant to say terra firma. The inimitable Mr. Prescott recently bettered himself in responding to allegations of bullying against British Prime-Minister, Gordon Brown, in a soon-to-be-published book, which he dismissed as "twittle-twattle". He probably meant "tittle-tattle."

Honourable Obahiagbon thinks he is beyond such verbal mouse traps. As a law student in the University of Benin in the mid-1980s, Patrick Obahiagbon reportedly complained about the failings of one of his lecturers, which left him and his class "in a state of maniacal bewilderment." Graduating from there to the Nigerian Law School, he revealed himself as somewhat of an interesting character when in 1988, Obahiagbon declined to lead a tutorial discussion because the question posed for the legal drafting and conveyancing class, in his words, "indents on omnibus". Invited by the tutor to translate himself into English, Obahiagbon explained: "With respect, sir, I submit that this question is a cul-de-sac!"

William Faulkner famously complained of Ernest Hemingway that "he has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." Honourable Obahiagbon cannot remotely be accused of not knowing his dictionary or how to send his listener there. He is increasingly credited as the inventor of an entirely new language of legislative business that makes the "maniacal bewilderment" of his under-graduate years sound positively soothing. Honourable Obahiagbon can assert affinity with, if not ancestry from some formidable forebears in the genre of bombast in African literature and popular culture. Like Bambulu in Ene Henshaw's This is Our Chance, he can easily claim that his language is the product of his "endeavour and the materialization of my inventive genius." He may not yet have achieved the originality of "verbal dextrosity" of Uanhenga Xitu's principal protagonist in The World of Mestre Tamoda but his legislative tenure could well draw some parallels from Tamoda's adventures in language. Others may, of course, take the view, as H.L. Mencken did of former U.S. President, Warren Harding, that Obahiagbonese is a mix of "rumble and bumble, flap and doodle, balder and dash", a poor imitation of Masquerade in the legislative Chamber.

Bombast in public life and public communication has a distinguished history, particularly as a memorable put down. Recall, for instance, Spiro Agnew's declamation against "nattering nabobs of negativism" or Gbolabo Ogunsanwo's damnation of the excesses of irresponsible "mandibular walkabouts". Benjamin Disraeli famously dissected William Gladstone as "a sophistical rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity, and gifted with an egotistical imagination." No one suggests that Obahiagbon is a latter day Gladstone but his verbiage easily cuts muster as being "inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity."

As a member of a Parliament credibly accused of doing nothing, however, Honourable Obahiagbon's verbal moonlighting could well be a great career move. Unlike many of his anonymous, Parliamentary peers, Patrick Obahiagbon has cult status in his sights. He is already a hit on You Tube where many clips of his fancy "idiolect" are on the cusp of going viral. Whenever his romance with the ruling party or his Parliamentary career comes to an end, Honourable Obahiagbon can look forward to a lucrative career in opaque theatre or he could take a paid sabbatical translating himself into a recogniSed language.

While he remains a legislator and public officer, though, the real question has to be, what this moonlighting with the indecipherable has to do with Obahiagbon's day job as a Parliamentarian. He did, after all, promise to discharge his "legislative onus probandi" dutifully. Invited in March 2008, to diagnose the state of the nation, Honourable Obahiagbon said the country was in a state of "economical quagmire, political fantasmagoria and social stupor". Whatever this means, it doesn't sound good and the situation has probably got worse because of the confusion caused by the President's ill-health.

The ruling party and National Assembly, both of which Honourable Obahiagbon belongs to, have decided that the state of being of the President is of no bother to them. Honourable Obahiagbon has the "verbal dextrosity" to make the contrary case on behalf of Nigerians who wish their President well and want to see him. As a lawyer and Parliamentarian, he is well qualified to advocate the case for Habeas Corpus ad Imperium. Our case against the indefinite detention - even on medical grounds - of our sovereign requires an old remedy rendered in new language. In helping us make it, the man popularly known as Igodo Migodo could advance his day job and put himself well on the way to becoming the "political-linguistic Emir" of You Tube.

http://www.ngrguardiannews.com/editorial_opinion/article04/indexn2_html?pdate=090310&ptitle=Habeas%20Corpus,%20Honourable%20Obahiagbon

Ujujoan:
@ Jarus

Spot on! The same happened to me. I assumed they flopped cos it was their first year. Anyway I didnt complain cos they gave me staright As

Ahhh, 2000 . . . That was a good year for me

Many people that had been failing WAEC, English in particular, for God knows when made it that year. I had a better WAEC results so didn't use the certificate.
They also dashed me A1 in English

No problems.

I am one of the first set of NECO(2000, I don't even know where I put the cert again, I use WAEC) and I must admit the exam body was less than efficient in administering exams. There were mass cases of inefficiency, students not writing a paper and seeing result for that paper, Economics question being circulated as Geography question etc. I remember having 6 distinctions, 2 credits and F9 in English in that exam. I knew it was not possible I had F9 in English. It affected quite a number of us our school was sure cannot have F9 in English . Our school took up the case and wrote NECO to revisit our papers. Guess what? They apologized for the mix-up and after revisiting our papers, sent us another results and I and one other guy had A1 in English. I doubt if what I wrote deserved A1 though, and couldn't have fetched me more than C4 if it was WAEC. Anyway, I dont like that certificate and use my WAEC. The point I'm driving home is that NECO demonstrated gross inefficiency at the time, but it could be argued that, being their first attempt, they were prone to errors.

That said, I am not a subcriber to  the common notion that exam bodies, whether WAEC, NECO, JAMB or even ICAN, deliberately fail students. There may be one or two mistakes, which can't be up to 0.5%, but to say NECO or whatever deliberately fail students is most ridiculous and I believe such notions can only be held by unschooled people.
Unprecedentedly alarming as 98% failure is, I don't believe it's a deliberate making of NECO. While the govt can be deservedly  blamed, I think the students have the bulk of the blame. We all pass through this system and we were not this bad. Perhaps, we should look no further than Facebook!

but even those that got it thru expo have graduated, have been working with there expo result, lol

I disagree with this. Allah tests whom He wills, and if Allah loves a servant, He tries him so that he can be purified.
If one commits a sin (and expo is also a sin, even if minor), and Allah wants him/her purified on earth, the person may be tested by making his affairs(say academics) difficult for him so that he can be punished on earth and repent and become purified. To this extent I agree with Miftaudeen. Those that get seemingly good life despite sins(like those you mentioned up there) are those Allah describes that He leaves them in their sins until they meet Him.

This is just an explanation, and never an insinuation that you engaged in expo. After all, even the prophets, the holiest of mankind, went through trial.

Becomrich: Look , you people omo ale. You don't get job. I have map , see ibadan it more populate than Kano. who is lying northerner or igbo. see you people are working for nigerian govenment , they liar. See map, how northenerner have more population , they liar.

see northerner and igbo sleep together, hey have naughty person childrne. look the only way the yorubas will survive is if we join bnein republic they rich with minara. they 99% yoruba . Look map. 100 million population in Bnin republic ,northerner lie, they say Benin republic poor. ha h a let me tell you I have live Benin republic all my live. there worship me yoruba . yo people get j ob. I will post more map soon. see map omo okoro. see my pishure.

Yeeeee, ori mi o
Even though I have read these thing countless times, I jsut can't stop laughing each time I see it

She can still make it back. GJ has hinted that some of sacked ministers might return. I personally don't think that she should come back though. All controversial ministers of the last era, pro- or anti Yaradua, should go if GJ wants to have a good, united cabinet devoid of rancour.

jay bee:
NEC Chairman - Tgirl4real
Minister of Finance - Ibime
Inspector General of Police - Justwise
Minister of Health - any of nl's resident docs
Minister of Petroleum - debosky
Minister of Information - Aloy Emeka
Minister of Culture Tourism -
Minister of Sports - sagamite
Minister of Justice - Lawyer
CBN Governor - Jarus
Minister of Power - netotse
Minister of Education - Ajanlekoko
EFCC Chairman - Beaf
Minister of Women Affairs - chaircover or TKB
Minister of Technology - elrazur
Minister of Foreign Affairs - Richyblack
Minister of Youths - Jay bee

If anti-Sanusi elements here catch you

ElRazur:
Double gbam.

So what are you trying to say

violent:
********i can't believe that all the earlier posters have found it noteworthy to exclude [size=14pt]BECOMERICH[/size] . .how exactly do you intend to find your way around without his timely maps?

Becomrich is not a Nigerian. He is a Beninioise

Minister of Education - OmoIbo, that nnaa is got a Phd and he ain't about to stop yet. Yes, that is right, he's got a phd. So respect his post

Richyblack and Davidylan are also PhD holders.

beystwin:
The right thing for GOOD Muslims to do now is to condemn this atrocity that took place in Jos.

I am a Muslim, trying to be good, but not in any way apologetic or shameful.
The atrocity by Muslim Fulani herdsmen in Jos is most condemnable, barbarous and shameful.
However, I think the Nigerian media has been unfair in the reportage of the plateau crisis since it started.
In the January incident, the Beroms had upper hand, killing as many Fulanis as were killed in the last genocide, and their cows. But the press did not qualify the Beroms as Christians. What was reported was that there was violence on the plateau and there were many casualties. Now when similar, and of course equally shameful act, was perpetrated by Fulanis, the press remember they are Muslims and qualify them as 'Muslim Fulanis'.

As as been argued by the few objective analysts that have refused to be drenched in the pool of sentiments , the Jos crisis is more of economic and political, than religious, but because it involves two ethnic groups that are divided among the two major religions, it was easily a religious war.
A few questions beg for answers on whether the crisis is a religious one:
-Are the Fulani Muslims fighting them because they want them to convert to their religion or because they were uncomfortable with their religion?
-With all the burukutu, womanizing and other unchristian activities common among Beroms, do you think it could be because of Christianity they are fighting the Fulanis?

We have suddenly forgotten the origin of these fracases: the fight over LG Chairmanship election, control of land etc.

We should try to be objective in our analysis. The Muslim Fulanis' act is most atrocious, as is the acts of the Beroms in earlier killings, even though the press failed to qualify Berom as Christians in qualifying the earlier crises.

Still updating

NEC Chairman - El Razur ( He appears forthright and uncompromising)
Minister of Finance - Ibime (Demonstrates knowledge of workings of political economy)
Inspector General of Police - Oyb (the guy sabi catch NL liars well well  )
Minister of Health - Osisi (A trained Dr, I learnt)
Minister of Petroleum - Debosky
Minister of Information - Aloy Emeka (Already self-appointed information scooper on NL)
Minister of Culture Tourism - Ifyalways (Appears interested in thsi area on NL)
Minister of Sports - Akolawole (Needless to say why)
Minister of Justice - Lawyer (Only legal person on NL that came to my head)
CBN Governor - Mikeansy (Is this a right choice, given the fact that he and Finance Minister are always at opposite sides of economic policy debates?)
Minister of Power - Netotse (works in the sector and appears to ahve understanding of the system)
Minister of Education -
EFCC Chairman - Still looking for a forthright Nlder to settle for)
Minister of Women Affairs - Aisha2
Minister of Technology - Loma (In the system)
Minister of Foreign Affairs - Richyblack (Appears versed in Int'l politics)
Minister of Youths - Phemour (One of the youngest Mods, and already coordinates well those jambites, sec schl students etc in NL education section)

tayo4lif:
safeact so that when he gives you, you can use his idea. who do you think is a fool. ? nothing come cheap.

Who is the 'he'? Tayo4lif or Becomrich?

Nokka:
The CBN cannot find investors for established banks including Unity Bank with 19 captive state governments. Verifiable financiers are yet to be found for the NNPC, the much touted and government-backed agricultural fund, and course NITEL. Somehow genuine operators will line up for licences because that is what is being done in America. We are still waiting for the investors lined up to take over distressed Nigerian banks as touted by many press releases.
When we had fragmented licenses what was the effect on the economy? How many loans did they grant? How many workers did they employ? What was their effect on major Nigerian businesses? This is simply returning to the status quo ante of the 80's and 90's with failed banks galore with insufficient capital bases to get into major deals in oil & gas, telecoms and major construction financing. If all those banks did was finance importers and forex round-tripping in the 90's, where is the proof they will be different now under another name?
Despite our protests we deserve the government we get.

If the 25 billion capital base is maintained for Commercial banks, I don't think this will be the case?

Yeeee, ori mi o
Dug out at last. This thread should be the greatest thread ever on NL 779 pages. This one na encyclopedia o abi na textbook

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-31554.0.html

Maybe we should start something like 10 GREATEST THREADS OF ALL TIME ON NAIRALAND