₦airaland Forum

lefulefu:
bro u hold bar na...so why won't she worry and cry when u stopped giving her attention.anyway nobody here is saying u shouldn't train her in school but what they are saying is that u shouldn't use marriage as a condition to sponsor.if u do that u might end up being disappointed.remember ladies are unpredictable.like someone said here..if u want to sponsor her then do such out of the goodness of ur heart but don't bank on too much on marriage cos after graduation it could be very much possible she might disappoint u.

The girl in question is somebody i have known since she was a kid, besides my family and hers were already in agreement that I would marry her even before her parents died. I only wanted to change my mind along the line because of her level of education. The girl is a good girl with a good family history. She spent last Christmas with my mom in the village even though I wasn't around. Some suitors came for her during the period but she turned them down because of me. And those guys were big business boys who were ready to marry her today tomorrow once she accepts.

Anyway, i appreciate your concerns. Be rest assured that I know what i am doing...

The worst mistake a lady can make is to beg a guy for love. It doesn't work that way. A man is the one who should seek his woman, not the other way round. This is because in our culture, the man is expected to pay a woman's bride prize and provide for his family, so it is only normal for him to want to choose the lady he considers worthy. When a lady begins to force herself on a man in the name of love, it becomes distasteful for him. Even if he initially had interest in her, he would lose it and some would take advantage of the lady's desperation to milk her dry.

So ladies, relax and let the guys come for you, and when they come, try and control your feelings. No matter how much you love him, don't show any sign of desperation to have him. If you are a naturally good lady, the guy will be left with no option than to settle with you. Just be yourself, anything you are doing for him, just do it because it is in your nature to do good to people, not because you want to "bribe" him and have him at all cost. It kills the guy's interest!This was what the above ladies did that led to their misery.

Iphone5:
As the transport manager
abi
DRIVER

See as i dey laugh like mad man here. Lmao
You wicked bro!

ABBkelvin:
Guy, listen to what the men in the house are yearning. Forget about the village girl and focus on developing yourself to be a real man. The best thing to do right now is to fu*ck as many girls as possible and care less about them. You will understand later why you shouldn't trust any girl either village or urban. You will know the real her when she's lost every opportunity to tie you down to herself(village girl).

Thank you

blackgold2018:
Because psychologically and logically based on what you narrated.. she doesn't love you. Haba nah.. why re you still arguing this. I'm tired joor.

Bro, you don't know me neither do you know the girl we are talking about. FYI, i have known that girl for like 15yrs now. I wonder how else people show love. Anyway, no point arguing with you. I have made up my mind on what i want.

Thanks for your concern.

SIaye:
My guy she was only doing all that because you have money. And she knows with you her future is secured, who wants to lose that kind of man before? Who wan suffer, she will dp everything on her power to hold you down because of the financial security if not I know that girl don't love you.

Lol...how did you know she doesn't love me?

SIaye:
No mind the op bro. Him nor know say men don go down that route before and the outcome wasn't pleasant at all.

Bro, some people reading this thread will be laughing at me because I was among those who advised others against training a girl in school here on nairaland. But after carefully considering my options, i think it is better i train the girl. She is worth it. Besides, I'll marry her first.

When i stopped giving her attention because of the new girl that got me carried away, she cried and complained to my friends. She was the one doing all the calling and caring for almost a year and six months i was with the other lady.

Let me not just give every detail here, but I know the girl is a good girl. It was only because of her deficiency in education that made me think about the other girl. But I now know better.

blackgold2018:
It seems you are a good person and you trust easily. Let me advice you.. if you want to train her in school do it as a good person you claim to be and dont you attach marriage to it as a condition. After her schooling n Nysc if she still loves you and Fancy you then you can marry her.

Bro, i'll marry her before she starts schooling. Not that anything would happen if she goes to school first, but i plan to get married soon for reasons known to me.

There are still girls with good up bringing my guy. You won't understand.

ubunja:
its all good. but your wife will be hated.why are wives so cold and ruthless when they run their hubby's business. worked for a few companies co-run by wives and those wives were arseholes to work for.

Hmmmm...all women are not the same, i believe that there are exceptional ladies out there.

ubunja:
it sounds good.
but mixing business and marriage?that never plays out well.
how about you hire someone you can fire if she fvcks up.

Of course I'll hire people who'll do different jobs in the company, but i think it'll be great if i can have my trusted wife play some of my roles in my absence.

SIaye:
Guy forget handsome. Bad idea to train that girl. Cuter guys at University and @ NYSC will confuse her, she is just only doing humble so you can wife her. Girls are smart. When you wife her. You see the real her.

It seems like you believe that all girls can be swayed by how cute a guy is??
That's not true bro.

ubunja:
things like what exactly? do you have a rocket engine in the house?
plus you confuse me coz you gona seek for smart wives but then go to the village to get some dusty-ankle gal to run the home when you and wifey are at work. was is it not going to be better to get a village gal and make her your wife??

Guy, i plan to have a pharmaceutical company of my own. It will be good if upon going on a business trip abroad, my wife can run things in my company until i return. Don't you think?

Jamariwolf4:
Bcuz they don't, lol. Especially broke ass niggas. Lol

What I have noticed is that when a guy starts showing you ladies love you think that he's so helpless. Your fish brains start making you to think that the guy has been rejected by other girls hence he wants you by all means. This is why many of you would start forming rubbish until the guy gets tired and leaves, then you start saying that he never really loved you.

ubunja:
i never understood guys' demand that their GFs be intelligent/educated. why?
seems like guys have their priorities upside down.in another thread guys say they dont mind gals who cant cook.then here you only want smart ladies. does a smart gal who cant cook make sense?rather have a dumb gal that cooks so deliciously visitors refuse to leave.
if you are young dumb stupid good at preparing heavenly meals you are my type.me and you will go places.

LOL...some of us just get attracted to ladies who are smart and can be trusted to take care of things when you are not there.

SIaye:
Picture or idonbelivit... .

I don't post my pictures on nairaland because this is supposed to be an anonymous forum.

But trust me, I'm handsome.

SIaye:
Goodluck on that amigos. After she enter University, fine fine boys ni go they shine her honey pot then she graduate she go tell you, you are not her type of man, marriage end, your eye go come clear

Hehehehe...You don't know the person we are talking about here.
I decided to settle for her because of her CHARACTER, she considers it a privilege to have me, besides I'm not the ugly type nor from poor background(not boasting though).

SIaye:
I can't date a girl with only SSCE result. Dah Bleep she has to offer.

Her not going further up to the university was because she's from a poor home and her parents are late. Her elder sisters too are married and are not well to do.

But i have made up my mind to train her in the uni when i marry her. For now she's going to learn skilled work and when i am done with school soonest, we'll get married after which I'll enroll her into a university.

My peace of mind is more important to me than marrying a university graduate.

.

Don't listen to her when she says that all she wants is you and bla bla bla. Girls hate being dumped by a guy. They prefer doing the dumping instead. Maybe she is just trying to get you fall for her so that she will dump your assz with no remorse.

My advice is for you to move on without looking back. Hustle hard, make your money and find your woman.

Pepsi101:
And when the husband misinterpret her intentions and sends her packing, I hope you will be there to explain that it was only gimmicks?

In marriage there is no over dose of love and there should be no room for competition

The man will not send her packing because he won't catch her cheating. I've discovered that some guys actually get too selfish when their wives keep giving them all the love. Such guys need to be denied that love occasionally so as to keep them on their toes regarding the woman's own needs. However, the lady has to be careful not to overdo it.

This is how they make monsters out of men and later they'll start lamenting that men are scum.

A woman will dump a man who loves her to bits and follow an asshole, and when she starts getting the harsh treatment from the man they start disturbing the cyberspace on how men are scum.

This is why i don't sympathize with women who are going through abusive marriages.

pweetiedee:
How far,

Omo Ifaki. Y u dey fork married women. You sef, nawa oo.

And its true most Igbo ladies marry for money. I know many who did. No.love there. The parents will be like "you better marry who will take care of you(and imagine the fat bride price now)

About infidelity, u sef, Oko ashewo. And stop calling women bitches.

She who marries for money and she who marries for "love" are the same thing. Both are after their selfish desires. Infact, if i were a lady i will marry for money.

sweettease:
Oh dear! That's not the part I have a problem with, the part that I find odd is that you are advising a married woman to intentionally create the illusion that she is courting other guys. That's really messed up!

BTW, I am all for showering my man with love but if he acts like a boy and not the man I thought he was, then that love is dead and gone, I don't have time to play catch, you are either in or out! While change what I am about cos he can't handle it?

When the lady starts showing him that "I don't care" attitude, it gets the guy thinking that perhaps other guys are showing interest in her and this is what would spark his interest. It is actually that attitude that i meant in my post.
The lady has been showing him all the love since they got married and he now feels that her needs don't count.

sweettease:
Oh dear! That's not the part I have a problem with, the part that I find odd is that you are advising a married woman to intentionally create the illusion that she is courting other guys. That's really messed up!

BTW, I am all for showering my man with love but if he acts like a boy and not the man I thought he was, then that love is dead and gone, I don't have time to play catch, you are either in or out! While change what I am about cos he can't handle it?

When the lady starts showing him that "I don't care" attitude, it gets the guy thinking that perhaps other guys are showing interest in her and this is what would spark his interest. It is actually that attitude that i meant in my post.
The lady has been showing him all the love since they got married and he now feels that her needs doesn't count.

crackhaus:
This template is crafted for boyfriend & girlfriend-type relationships, not marriage.

It still works even among married couples.

greatgod2012:
I don't agree with you on this sir!

You are free to disagree with me, but that doesn't change anything.

sweettease:
That's a double edged sword psychology ish I'll never play with someone I love, let alone my husband

Choke him with that your love and see him lose interest in you. Some of you wonder why you shower a guy with all your love yet he treats you like trash, it is because you are too available to him leaving him with nothing to compete for.