₦airaland Forum

You write so well, I must say. To the issue on ground, dialogue, dialogue and dialogue. Marriage is like a two man partnership. It's so unfortunate that you have hit a storm, but if you do not step up as a team and navigate this situation, the ship(Your marriage) would sink. Thank heavens she said you two needed to talk, albeit in a nasty way.

You need to douse the tension at home. Get her flowers on your way back from home. Tell her to dress up and take her to a restaurant. Unless your wife is under a spell, these acts should calm her nerves. Once you are at the diner having dinner. Talk some sense in your wife. Remind her of the good old days, probe on what went wrong, do not trivialise her concerns, remind her of how hard you work to hold the forte.

Finally, madame needs to get a job to support you, else you would burn out. If she can find a job no matter how small, that can be channelled into sponsoring a secondary hand to cater for the child during her work hours.

Again, remember that marriage is partnership and communication is like the third wheel on a Wheelbarrow.

All the best!

Mariangeles:
Hausa.
I'd love to learn it so that I can be full blooded wazobia.

Also, fluent Spanish because I find the language fascinating.

If you are fluent in speaking Yoruba, I could teach you Hausa in exchange for learning Yoruba.

RandomFellow:
No be by force. Since your Aunt swore that she'd rather died than forgive your mom, then she must follow through with her oath. What kind of person doesn't forgive her only biological sibling on her dying bed? Even when she was begged. Let her go to the other world and beg your mom first, then comeback and talk to your sister

Two can play the game!

Two can play, but can two wrongs make a right?

Sonnobax15:
Good day Nairalanders.....Hope everyone of you here is fine and doing just great?

Well, there's a situation my siblings and I have found ourselves in presently.......It's been 19 years since we lost our mom and those years were really hectic years for us,due to the circumstances surrounding her death because she was murdered................But somehow, God came to our rescue and we've all grown now

Before my mom's death,she had a sister who was her only blood sister, tho they had other step siblings...... Honestly,as I kid,I remembered how many times my mom tried to resolve the dispute between she and her only blood sister but all were to no avail.....She(my aunt) was hell-bent on the fact that she'd rather die than to settle things up with my mom.......Even in her death bed,i remember how my elder sister went to inform my aunt about our mom's situation and everything that led to what happened to her,but she gave deaf ears and even chased my sister away.....

I was only a little boy then,but I remembered every single thing that transpired then ..

Now here's the problem.........My aunt has been on our necks, begging us to forgive her......There was a time we were invited to our maternal home for a family meeting,and my aunt happened to be around.....She knelt and was weeping and begging us to forgive her....... Personally, I'm a soft-hearted person and I've toured my heart to see if I could forgive her and I think I'm about to let bygones be bygones.......But my other siblings especially my elder sister has sworn never to forgive her . Tho I've tried to talk to my sister but she has vehemently refused never to forgive her .....My other uncles have summoned another meeting but my sister has vowed to ignore their calls.......

Should my sister be blamed for finding it hard to find a place in her heart to forgive my Aunt, considering the fact that she's a Christian?

Or make everybody just mind him business just like we've been doing over the years?

The matter just tire me I swear but it's all good tho..

Your sister should not be blamed please. Forgiveness is divine. The trauma is still eating her deep, hence her resolve not to forgive. Give her time, she would come around. Make her understand that the forgiveness the woman seeks would also help her (your sister) heal. Make her understand that this grudge is a portal for setbacks in her life. Even your mother ( God rest her soul) would want that.


All will be well!

Ishilove:
A netizen shared his experience with Nigeria hawkers in Abuja. He was in a generous mood and decided to give back to the society. However, what his eyes saw during the whole exercise left him feeling weak and restless.

This is a prove that this country's redemption may lie far ahead as even we, the masses, are too corrupt. The impunity our leaders display is so because they are aware our division will not make us reason together and push for what is right.

EpicDude123:
Hello Nairalanders, please I need your advice on how to go about this. I have been so disturbed with the way my fiancee drools each time she sleeps, it has become so excess that I have to stylishly always change our pillow cases almost on a daily basis. This has been going on for the past 2 years of our been together because we also live together.

I am surprised that she is unaware she drools, or if she does not perceive the offensive odour that comes out from the pillows after the drools in her sleep in the morning. This has been going on for 2 good years of our relationship. I love her so much and I don't see this as an attitude that may discourage me from settling down with her. But this drooling is overwhelming, I don't know how to talk to her about how I feel about all this because she's too emotional, and she may begin feeling uncomfortable staying with me. it's really been complicated for me.

You said she is oblivious of this development. Have you tried talking to her about it? One can only make amends on a problem he or she is privy to.

pandax:
Behold Miss Universe Nigeria 2024 winner and the winner of Miss Universe World 2024 in Mexico this November.

My street constitute a chunk of your fan base.

Our xenophobic Brethren from down South of Africa will not like this news from Nigeria this period and Mexico in November

The apartheid cum xenophobic republic of SA will be glued to their TVs to watch her be crowned in Nigeria by people that love her

I totally agree with you. The pageant might end up being an easy fry for her.

Mariangeles:
I saw these on a Nigerian food blogger's page, and it caught my attention. I had never seen them before.
She called them goruba, so I got curious, and had to go check it out on Google.

Have you ever seen/eaten these?
If you have, what do you call them in your local dialect?


Picture credit: Google

Yes! Doum Palm Fruit (English name) is a staple in my village. Rich in fibre, it is known to lower blood pressure and blood sugar, thus suitable for hypertensive and diabetic patients. It also offers great cognitive benefits.

AwokenVawulence:
So I live in a flat apartment. One of my neighbour is a family of 9 the grandma , the parents and 6 children ( one is yet to be born).
I usually talk with them , we have a good relationship. They are currently struggling due to the economy right now so things are hard . I have a pet cat and I try to feed it everyday at least twice .
Yesterday I gave it a boiled egg in the evening and the neighbours mom saw me and said why would I be wasting food on a cat , that why would I give a cat egg. Omo I didn't know how to respond.
So I'm asking is it bad to be giving an animal food because I know sometimes the family don't eat and I help with the little I have ,but i like the cat and wouldn't want to let go of it

Emotional blackmail, entitlement mentality is all I see. They ought to have taken into cognizance the economic reality before birthing so many children. Live your life. Assist when you can, but don't be bullied or blackmailed into it.

AllMight, don't you think it's time to move houses? 100k on gas weekly is absurdly exorbitant. Why spend almost 5 million a year on gas? Certainly, there are estates that can kffer you value for your money and without you having to pay so much on gas. Maybe you should also consider building your own property.

As for the issue on ground, you do not have legal backing to pursue the case. Certainly, your neighbour knows that, which is why he is adamant on refunding. Learn to have a clear cut line between friendship and business. For the amount in view, you simply could have had a voice recording and even a written agreement to seal the deal. The only option you can tow towards recovery is either bullying or harassment, which might even land you in trouble if your neighbour understands his rights.

All the best!

pocohantas:
I am genuinely curious, how much is ideal to pay a live-in maid in 2024?

Minimum wage was increased to N70,000 and I don't think it has been implemented.

Considering this maid is housed and fed, how much do we think is okay?

For people with GROWN maids, care to share how much you pay?

A live-in maid does more work than a commuter maid. It is not surprising to see them work round the clock with little to no sleep. Asides keeping the house cleaning and cooking, they also play ther roles such as nannies, errand runners and so on. Bearing these in mind, and also taking into cognizance that the value of the naira has greatly dwindled, a take-home package of 70k is fair.

Truvelisback:
Good day, fellas. How many of us remember this bed?

Gone to the wind, but it birthed a bigger innovation- the spring mattress.

Gbadugbakun:
I hate to say this but I do stammer. Yesterday my boss called me to his office to explain something to him. I was stammering and hitting the table to enhance my speech. I now hit the table very hard and his bottle of water poured on all the documents there. He now to me to leave his office. I'm very sad. is there a cure for it?

I don't think there is a cure. However, relaxing your muscles and drifting your consciousness from the fact that stammering is a possibility sometimes helps. Also, there are words that trigger stammering. They vary per person. Discover yours and them. Don't exprct results overnight, but be consistent.

doggedfighter:
This is a good gesture !


Well done !


And welcome home, guys !



What kind of plane has that kind of interior ?

Is it meant for conveying equipment?

It's meant to convey soldiers. This is how most military planes are designed.

Tayorshd87:
Virgin Mary is real and Yoruba tradition or religious practices referred it to as Yemoja.
...


Jesus is truly Lord 💪

You are very informed. Keep it up!

Sapasenator:
When you have an extra bill to pay, you have no choice but to be a slave to multiple jobs. Most of these people even neglect their families working multiple jobs. I know individuals with big houses who never get to sleep in those houses, the husband is working night with other jobs and the wife is working day jobs. Even husbands and wives never get to meet each other as often as possible.
It's all about the bills here and it is a system designed to enslave you if you are not very smart.

Sounds depressing, but the reality is that most Nigerians prefer to tow this path rather than remain at home.

Sapasenator:
About three years ago. It was a bitter winter and I was dining at a restaurant around 11 pm in the night. It was very cold and if I remember correctly, it was -35 degrees Celsius below freezing point and if you pee outside, it freezes before hitting the ground. cold.

The restaurant was filled with everyone white except myself. I looked behind me and it was crowded with delivery drivers working for the delivery app, Skip the Dishes, waiting to pick up food orders. Nine delivery drivers and all black guys mostly Nigerian looking.

Imagine what it means to have to drive constantly in the bitter cold to deliver food when most people are either sleeping or enjoying themselves in a warm restaurant.

Some of these guys are even delivering with brand new SUVs purchased on credits and after a deeper dive, I came to realize our people here live mostly above their means to impress fellow Nigerians. They buy houses or cars they cannot afford and now have to work three jobs and drive on the side to maintain their fake lifestyles.

This is not a healthy way to live guys, learn to relax and enjoy yourself once in a while, do not live above your means and the fact that you are pre-authorized for that big mortgage, loan, or line of credit does not mean you have to accept.

Learn to live your life without trying to please or impress anyone and occasionally, take time off to have fun and enjoy yourself, take vacations.

Driving a "porsche" car and working multiple jobs may not necessarily translate into living above one's means. We all know most Nigerians work overtime to get extra pay. This move is in view of hitting it big in record time, so projects at home can be completed. Extra jobs may also be picked up to quell financial pressure back home.

CriminalTinubu:
Cultists only come after cultists

Not necessarily so, babe. He may have crossed the line with them: business deal gone bad, making advances or dating a culture member's woman and so on. Note that cultists know each other. If he was one, he wouldn't have followed them outside.

May the deceased find peace.

saintnegroid:
Nope. I will have to give you the approval to order. Just like a lady taking you out and start ordering things without her consent. I mean it doesn't look nice.

I honestly, have wasted too much time on this. If that works for you,fine.

PDJT:
- Work and pay your bills! Stop striving to live in a man's pocket. Grow up into the 21st century or continue to be disrespected. Simple.

Again, your thoughts are disjointed and you are speaking from a place of dogmatic ignorance. I will forgive you for that, nonetheless.

If the women around you rely on crumbs that fall off men's tables, know that the trend outside of your home has changed. Women rarely depend on their spouses as they have their money. Their husbands' is icing on the cake. Also, note that unlike the women in your house, other women needn't have to seek for permission to place an order if they are out on a date.

Consider this my last engagement with you on this topic. I have wasted too much time on this.

saintnegroid:
you are very correct but let me ask you.... Between the lady and the guy who is suppose to do the ordering?

Both parties are to order for their meals. A man should not order for a woman and vice versa. This is why it's important to choose a venue that suits your budget so cases of spending above your estimate will not suffice.

komzy589:
I’m not sure what it was but I know it wasn’t for you to come and eat.

Certainly, it has to be about holding hands and singing kumbayalo [sic]

Jaycee07:
Agreed. But here is the deal. The problem here wasn’t about spending the money. That has never been contested. You have a guest, and without premonitions from you, your guest forges ahead to order food in a restaurant before your presence without getting a nod of approval from you. It’s very telling about the kind of person you’re dealing with. She’s disrespectful and inconsiderate.And if you allow her to get away with that, it means you’ve tacitly approved that type of behavior.
I’ve had dealings with ladies from different races, it appears Nigerian girls and African American girls are the lowest in the rung when it comes to greed, immorality and entitlement mentality.
To be clear, I am not bashing anyone here, just being honest.

Please correct me if I'm wrong. When you settle in, in most restaurants, you beckon on the waiter or waitress to come. If you are not willing to order, why beckon on the waiting officer? In some cases, the waiter shows face unbeknownst. In this case, if you do not intend to order, you let him off. I have a thing for foreign movies and when people go on a date, I have never noticed the lady seeking permission before ordering. Its honestly, absurd to expect a lady to ask if she can order before doing that.

I still maintain this stance thus: if you are not willing to spend, a restaurant shouldn't be a venue for a date. Trust me, it is unnecessary, outdated, quite dogmatic and misogynistic to expect a lady to ask before ordering. It's like expecting a woman to ask her man if she could breathe. If you respect your date, such trivial issue should not be heard of.

komzy589:
Someone invites you to a place for a meeting and you start placing orders without his consent 🤷🏻‍♀️
I don’t know what you’re arguing here o.

Narrow down the meeting to intent or purpose, then you would understand.

frankputer:
Your gender is very funny.
Na so one want me to take her to a Resturant that I have never been before and on a first date.
So I fear for my life, because I don’t know how the bill will look like. She chooose the venue, then i foot the bill.
I told her capital No, I go to places I fully know to avoid high billing.
She got upset because she thought she have gotten a maga to feed her dinner.
She started ranting that she can afford it, and if she can afford it,I can too.
I was like huuu.
First date you pick venue for me and I pay unknown bill
With unknown menu/pricing.

Next time, you should choose the venue for your dates. If you do not intend to incur cost, take her to a park. Other than that, a lady needn't have to ask for permission before ordering. The world has evolved past that.

7demons:
Thank you. Unfortunately, most people here are "boys" who are just hustling to chop 3 square meal.

Absolutely spot on!

PDJT:
- It appears "ladies" in your family were raised to comfortably live in a man's pocket. If so, you and your sisters have been raised very badly and would attract little or no respect from men. Re-educate yourself, this is 21st century.

- Meanwhile, an actual lady should be able to comfortably pay her bills without whinging.

I would forgive you for your baseless conclusion. I understand it's coming from a place of ignorance.
Please at what point did the lady move her things into the man's house to feed off his pockets?

If you do not intend to spend on a woman on a date, take her to a park. I think that is decent enough.

Jaycee07:
Nigerian girl courtesy?? Courtesy requires that you patiently wait for your host to give you a nod before you proceed in ordering anything. It simply shows that you respect your host’s privacy and preferences.
The lady in question felt entitled. Most Nigerian girls have such mindset.
It wasn’t within her right to disrespect her host by ordering food without his consent.
I can’t possibly love a greedy and disrespectful lady.
Nigerian men have actually emboldened their ladies to act in such weird and disrespectful fashion.Maybe that explains why most of their girls see such as normal.

I understand your standpoint, but understand that a restaurant is not the only place you could take your date to. If you have no plan to spend, a park should be the most suitable place. If the lady overindulged, that would have been a different case entirely, but to seek for permission before ordering is a tad bit misogynistic.

krushdripper:
Glad I struck a nerve. I hope your razz impish entitlement mentality to a man's pocket leads you to your doom. Nonsense & old for nothing.

A nerve? LOL! You wish!!

krushdripper:
Courtesy demands that you get rid of your saggy, puffy face & put it in the waste bin. So because you imagine a man should buy food for you cos he invited you on a date, you would just come in & order without his consent? She should have brought courtesy with her to force the guy to pay.

I won't argue with a kid younger than my youngest sister on a faceless forum. I don't expect a razz imp, born and bred with little to no morality, possibly an educated illiterate, to understand where I am coming from. Run along now,boy.

PrettyRX:
Seems we're twins Have zero patience for drama so I love minding my business

Exactly, I would rather keep up with drama on social media than have it dished close to me. The negative energy isn't worth it.

lilyheaven:
I just drive to work, do my duties, enter mall, buy whatever I want, come back home.
Most times, I do online shopping.
if I’m chatting with you online and you like miscommunication, I will Leave you, I don’t have strength to argue.
If I come to nairaland , and meet these human beings that like insulting each other, as if they will win award on the “best online insultee. “. I don’t bother reading their post, I will just jump over.

I watch tv , play games and sleep.
I don’t like entertaining visitors, and I don’t like visiting anyone.

I haven’t looked for anyone problems neither has anyone looked for mine.

My male neighbor , keeps coming to my door to ask for what is not obtainable, can I have this, can I have that.
Then he said, can you follow me to my church for a service?
I said I’m not interested in going anywhere that won’t earn me money 😃
He said he just wants to see me out... but I’m comfortable , not complaining .
He seems nice, but I i don’t want unnecessary distractions and headache from human beings.

What you typed is my current reality and it is nostalgic. Trust me, loneliness is bliss. It can be overwhelming sometimes, but the chaos that comes with friendship isn't worth it. Loneliness, if well channelled, can fuel your creative side.