₦airaland Forum

What is your blog address, so people can support you?

hiidee:
Wow Interesting....successfully completed all the steps I believe am gonna win.

Many of us have hundreds of Facebook friends—just ask them to share your updates regarding the #DKNGLuckyBlogger and you might be surprised at how well you fare in the contest. One thing is for sure: if you don't try, you cannot win.

You have my vote! Hope the others on this site have cast their vote.

I'm waiting until Boxing Day but I'd like to get myself a laptop if the price is right!

weedinLA:
Nigerian girls are all bastards and real bitches!!!!!

Wow, so much hostility! I'd have to guess that you don't know many Nigerian women.

I think if you're asking the question, you probably have some reason to believe that the relationship may be crossing the line, or may be about to cross the line.

Everyone has their definition of what is classified as cheating, but some people forget that there is such a thing as emotional infidelity, which can arguably be more dangerous than physical infidelity. If you find yourself looking forward to talking to your internet relationship partner more than your true partner, or find yourself comparing your internet partner to your real one, or start ignoring your true partner to spend time online or on the phone with your online partner, you've crossed the line. Before you know it, your mind will no longer be on your relationship and the sad thing is you may find that this online relationship that you've glorified only seems perfect because you don't know the person in real life and get to see all their true colours (online and the phone is limiting!).

My definition of what is cheating is anything you wouldn't do with the internet person if your real life partner was in the same room as you.

Congrats to you and your boyfriend for not ignoring God's wishes concerning premarital sex and staying pure despite the obvious challenges. I think it's great that you posted this here because you never know who else might have been dealing with temptation who has now been inspired by your admission that yes, it's difficult but it's not impossible (especially if you don't rely on your own strength alone!).

I think it's wonderful too that you've found a man who is committed to remaining pure too—they are rare indeed!

Finally, like others have said, this is proof that your body is functioning as it should and when the time is right it will all be very much worth it.

Pintos you haven't mentioned how she feels about you in return.  If you love her why not tell her?

If I were you I'd keep this to myself until things are ironed out between the two of you.  It's like dating a coworker:  if things don't work out you won't want the entire forum asking you questions about each other every single time you both happen to be on the forum or online elsewhere at the same time.

It can also put a lot of pressure on the relationship (if I may call it that) to have people openly speculating so soon.

Good luck to you and her.

I agree that pictures are very important when embarking on an online relationship.   That doesn't mean that if the person is handsome/beautiful that you will be more attracted to them or that love is guaranteed but the key is to make sure that you physically as well as emotionally desire the person you are interested in.  One person's "average" or "ok looking" is another person's "wow!" or "ugly" so looks aren't important to me from that point of view.

I'm an attention [word deleted]. I like posting my problems, hopes, fears and dreams and 'hearing' (reading) what people think about it (or them).

Einstein:
Virgins are very wonderful beings to glue to.  I am of the opinion that virgin ladies make better and sexually trustworthy wives than the 'disrupted' ones.

Sex is a flaming fire that never dies down.  Once one ventures into it, he/she is bound to long for more.  A deflowered girl can hardly stop asking for more unless God's does a profound miracle; because of her urge for 'variety' , her husband would suffer much infidelity.  I am not saying virgins are excluded from this misdaemenour, but theirs is reduced.

May I ask if you value male virginity [in yourself, for example] as highly?

legs:
I must say - it would take a very rare man to travel to a country where there is a lot more sexual freedom than where he is coming from, and stay completely faithful to his 'almost fiancee' [abi? jummy79] apart from this, the guy left as a teenager, still evolving in maturity, even if he is not the promiscous type; chances are that he will become good friends with someone else and anything could happen...

Maybe I'm naive but I am certainly holding out for this 'rare' specimen myself!

This really isn't a question, is it? I mean to be even contemplating cheating on somebody you he intends to marry is to me, terrible.

So the [promiscous girls] are good enough to sleep with but not to acknowledge as women, eh? I don't think the fact that you have no feelings for these [promiscous girls] changes the fact that you are still cheating on your almost fiancee.

I like the idea of 3-4 children. And my chances of having twins are good so I wouldn't mind that!

Kenya:
I would prefer my children to date at when they finish their first degree. I want them to be able to focus on their education, their personal development and be able to position themselves to be a great partner and community person. You know bringing something to the table.

I like that idea!  I wonder how realistic it is, though.  I guess if you are lucky enough to be able to instill those ideas in your children's heads then that would be excellent.  I wish I was less focused on being in a relationship and more focused on university myself and even though I was never in a relationship through all that time, I have to admit I wanted to be.  It's a very annoying distraction and I think I'm on my way to getting my priorities straight!

Thanks very much for your comment, Kenya!

Men are bad at responding to emails in a timely manner.

seun:
Women just don't understand men and I wonder why.

Just as men don't understand women!

seun:
How can we make a difference?  

It's simple. Those who wish to make a difference simply have to live lives that reflect honesty and fidelity rather than infidelity.

jogego:

jummy79 link=topic=343.msg2953#msg2953 date=1117460097:
I love how the implication is that men never get hurt by love.

Anyone who thinks men dont get hurt in love better have his/her head examined

Exactly! Men are just as susceptible to love as women are.

I just got this forward via email today and it's about love!

  Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it.Touching
  words from the mouth of babes. What does Love mean? A group of
  professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds,
  "What does love mean?"

  The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have
  imagined. See what you think:

  "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her

  toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time,
  even when  his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
  Rebecca- age 8
  ------------------------------------------

  "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
  You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
  -------------------------------------------------------
  "Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on
  shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
  Karl - age 5
  -------------------------------------------------------
  "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French
  fries
  without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6
  -------------------------------------------------------
  "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
  Terri - age 4
  -------------------------------------------------------
  "Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip
  before giving it to him,
  to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7
  -------------------------------------------------------
  "Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing,

  you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and
  Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8
  -------------------------------------------------------
  "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening
  presents
  and listen." Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
  -------------------------------------------------------
  "If you want to learn to love better, you should start
  with a friend who you hate,"
  Nikka - age 6
  (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
  -------------------------------------------------------
  "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it
  everyday." Noelle - age 7
  -------------------------------------------------------
  "Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still
  friends
  even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6
  -------------------------------------------------------
  "During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at
  all
  the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.
  He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8
  -------------------------------------------------------
  "My mommy loves me more than anybody . You don't see
  anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
  Clare - age 6
  -------------------------------------------------------
  "Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5
  -------------------------------------------------------
  "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and
  still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
  Chris - age 7
  -------------------------------------------------------
  "Love is when your puppy licks your face even
  after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4
  -------------------------------------------------------
  "I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old
  clothes
  and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4
  ------------------------------------------------------
  "When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down
  and little stars come out of you." (what an image)
  Karen - age 7
  -------------------------------------------------------
  "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she
  doesn't think it's gross."
  Mark - age 6
  -------------------------------------------------------
  "You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you
  mean it,
  you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8
  -------------------------------------------------------
  And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia
  once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.
  The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

  The winner was a four year old child whose next door
  neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon
  seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard,
  climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he
  had said to the neighbor, thelittle boy said, "Nothing, I just helped
  him cry"
  -------------------------------------------------------

I think you're right. There is a lot of pressure put on people to be attached and in a relationship. Even I would like to be in a relationship but at the same time I appreciate that rushing into one is not the right plan so I have been "waiting" for years now. I would rather be single than be in a crappy relationship.

Hmm, it depends on how you define waiting.

I'm almost 26 and I'm waiting for the right person to come along, but not in the sense of sitting around doing nothing. I'm trying to establish a career and save for my future, regardless of whether I end up spending it alone or with a man.

So, I'm an advocate of waiting, but not waiting and doing nothing, if that makes sense.

If I discover that my fiancé is cheating on me I will end the relationship right there and be thankful to God that I was able to see this before I entered into marriage with him and possibly had children.

I don't believe in revenge or getting retribution because it eats away at you and makes you a bitter person, even though your intent is to make the other person's life a living hell. It always backfires. By freeing me to find someone who would be better suited to me, I have already had the best revenge.

jogego:
Permit me to contribute my 2 cents worth

Me thinks it stems from the primitive age of man. Men and women being the animals we are would do anything to protect our territory, and any other person coming on to your partner is deemed to be infringing on your territorial rights.

That is why men feel so gutted when a partner cheats. The world actually allows/condones a man cheating but frowns on a woman doing same.

Women feel the same! You're correct that it might be more "condoned" if a guy does the cheating but don't let that make you believe that women don't feel just as destroyed when their man cheats!

bell:
Date a married man?  I think that is the height of irresponsiblity on the part of any female!

Agreed, some men can't keep their thing in their trousers, but does any intelligent, right thinking lady have to be the WC into which they pour their excess fluid?  Or the machine upon which they realise their sexual urges?

A lady with respect for herself will realise she should not be second fiddle or a play-thing for any man, no matter the reward.  What goes around would definitely come around.

I agree, only I would say it's irresponsible on the part of the both the male and the female.

I also think that men aren't given enough credit for their ability to keep their "thing" in their trousers.  As far as I know, they were born with a functioning brain (the one in their heads) too, just like women were.  So I think reference to the fact that it's so "difficult" to control your urges is just ridiculous and really is just an excuse for bad behaviour.

I wholeheartedly agree with your final point: it's all about having self respect and knowing that you deserve the best for yourself and that would be someone who can devote all of themself to you.

I love how the implication is that men never get hurt by love.

I read this in Nicholos Sparks' latest book, True Believer and I think it has a nice idea about love in it:

But wasn't a relationship supposed to be just that?  A relationship?  Both partners doing everything they could to keep the other satisfied?

See, that was the problem with many of the married couples she knew.  In any marriage, there was a fine balance between doing what you wanted and doing what your partner wanted, and as long as both the husband and wife were doing what the other wanted, there was never any problem...A good marriage, like any partnership, meant subordinating one's own needs to that of the other's, in the expectation that the other will do the same.  And as long as both partners keep up their end of the bargain, all is well in the world.

Just curious, seun. What are your thoughts on infidelity? Do they differ if it is the woman being unfaithful or the man?

I think people take infidelity seriously because when you decide to date someone exclusively or marry them, you are taking a vow before God (usually) promising to be faithful to that one person, through sickness and in health, until death do you part. So it hurts and damages the foundation that you have built your marriage/relationship on when one person in the partnership breaks those vows.

I take infidelity very seriously and even if I had children I would not let that prevent me from ending/leaving the marriage if I thought that it was something he entered into knowingly (and how could it not be?).

If I like a guy I let him know in my own way.  This, for me, does not involve saying "I like you".  Instead I let my actions speak louder than words:  I'll talk to him, ask questions, maybe even call him on the phone and I'll joke around with him.  I tend to joke around with guys I like...but I do tend to joke around with a lot of people so I guess it's tough to tell what my intentions are. Part of my mystique, I guess

I think the guy should be intuitive enough to get my hints (and compare the way I'm treating him to the way I treat other guys) and realize that I like him.  That being said, if he feels the same way, he could ask me out.

I like the idea of being asked out, mostly because I'm pretty shy.  Maybe I think it sets the tone of how I want to be treated, who knows?

But are they lying?

I guess being thought of as a model makes them think they'll attract a different calibre of man that what they currently attract?

Lol, I'd never try that line; the guy would see right through me!