₦airaland Forum

Trojan8:
How do you reason abeg?

Ginaz:
She even said she won’t have married him if she knew he would be like this .

I feel sorry for the husband , imagine the nags and fights she had given him cos of her village

TarOrfeeek:
What are men benefitting from society.

Apart from being expended daily like chickens for the comfort and safety of women and children.

This is a foolish statement, from foolish people.

Why have Feminist in Nigeria not demanded for 70% slot in the NA to go and fight BHT.

Lazy conts

Kingosytex:
Does marriage really favour only women?
Why do women celebrate marriage like it's a kinda trophy while men hardly do that?
I have also come across this notion and I just feel like unraveling the mystery behind such ideology. Go to Facebook and other social media platforms you will see marriage posts of women celebrating being married, their friends also partake in celebrating in their joy but to be very honest I seldom see such about men.
Are majority really right in their opinion that marriage favours women?

Truvelisback:
Note: Aside that, i'm an introvert, Yes. I rarely trust people. If it were something like money or other related gift or something new, i would have accepted it. And do not find the gift pleasant. The major reason i rejected the clothes is because of the poor state of the clothes. If i even carry the clothes go house, na rag i go use am do.

Sanchez01:
Sorry o, but there are ways to smell terrible people from a distance even without meeting them. You got 'motivated' about NPT'J's thread—someone whose sister unceremoniously went away with a man and you think the man you are married to does not allow you to visit your village puts both situations in almost the same box? I want to believe you are rightfully married to your husband and everything in your life readjusts, priority-wise the moment you two married and the same goes for him. How can a married woman be screaming "my village" in this day and time to the point that she fights her husband over it?? And then you quarrel with him over it and he entertains your periodic quarrels?? At this point, it is best that the man returns you to your family, demands his bride price so that you can walk around the village and market square as you please.

This is what happens when some homes are chaos-free. One person will just use his/her hand to destory the peace therein just because they are idle and have no worries.

Truvelisback:
Note: Aside that, i'm an introvert, Yes. I rarely trust people. If it were something like money or other related gift, i would have accepted it.

Truvelisback:
I do. I think he did that because of how close were. We eat together, chat together etc.

Orlaoluwayimika:
.

Lol weak indeed.

Has one off visit now turned into living with them.


Mr Strong man sir

I hope u will be very fast to advise ur son-in-laws to bar Ur children and grandchildren from visiting Ur House cos it is tantamount to them being weaklings.

I honestly do pity ur daughter in laws

fearlessmum:
His upbringing is different, his whole life has been in the city.
I guess I will follow his suggestion for the sake of peace

Orlaoluwayimika:
@fearlessmum, you are in a very tight sitn.

African marriage is a kinda marriage that gives the husband the total right ova the wife.
Since u say u also visit his parents u can probably discuss it with his parent during ur next visit.

If there are no changes, other way u can revolt peacefully is when he says u people should go to his village, respectfully tell him don't want to go probably come up with an excuse that u re not feeling well. If he chooses to go with the children u can also stylishly cheap it in that u don't want to take ur children to his village cos of village people na both of u get the children but u need apply plenty of wisdom.

Reading through the comments in this thread is really getting me scared and worried.

I'm a man and I can neva stop my wife from visiting her parents and also stopping them from seeing their grandchildren. O wrong na.
Though there would be moderations to it which I also trust her to be reasonable with it

My major worry is I ve two younger sisters whom we re very close. I would be sad if their future husbands cut them off from bonding with us and I'm sure my mum would be sadder than I am

Truvelisback:
They were old clothes. I didn't expect it from him. He is the type that has good rapports with his staffs. We chat together and joke together too. If no be told u he is my boss, u won't know.

Cokahot:
Living above your means. Hehe had a big phone, had whatsapp. But could not sell the phone to pay her fees.

wisemum:
I am bringing this topic here to see if I can get any good advise from youths of the same generation.

My son returned from schooling abroad two years ago and after completing his NYSC, has been trying to get a job. None has been forthcoming but he tries to keep occupied, trying his hands on different projects. He still lives at home but says that once he is financially stable, he will get his own apartment and move out.

He is generally a calm, law abiding , likeable gentleman until when he recently started bringing home this girl who dresses like a prostitute and who I discovered stays overnight in his room with him. His dad and I have fought him over this subject to no avail. I confronted the girl to tell her I do not feel comfortable with her sleeping overnight in my house especially since I do not know her family and will be held responsible if anything happens to her. She apologized to me and promised not to come to sleep over again. However, I noticed that after that, he started sneaking her in at late hours of the night when he thinks we have gone to bed, sometimes when it is past midnight. He hasn't introduced the girl to us as anything to him even though I have asked him several times what his intentions with this girl is but he will just say she is a friend that makes him happy- that's all.

He told his uncle that he likes the girl. I don't even know what else to do. I have tried talking to him, reasoning with him, but it all falls on his deaf ears. I do not like this girl at all. She comes across to me as a street girl- even though she is generally polite when she meets me at home anytime she comes during the day. I investigated and found out her work place is not far from our house. What I do not like about her is that she dresses, exposing delicate parts of her body and is a chain smoker.

Furthermore, to me, a girl who sleeps out in a mans' parent house, continually disregarding how his parents feel about it, cannot be good news. Once, I caught her almost naked in the night walking along the corridor leading to my sons room. She ran inside his room when she saw me. I was so embarrassed and wondered what if my husband had been the one who ran into her? What kind of thing is this? Only her pant on, breasts bare. It was the following day I traced her to her work place and gently but sharply and firmly told her I do not permit her to sleep over in my house again. His dad also spoke with him. I also spoke to him. Everything has been to no avail.

He still sneaks her in. Or did she jazz him?, Please advise me. Thanks.

AdesewaAde:
Go bleep yourself if you have nothing reasonable to say

TheGidRedpiller:
You just know.

SmartPolician:
The emboldened is FALSE.

For me, I will categorize Nigerian ladies into two. The first is poorly educated (probably didn't further after SSCE or OND), homely, resourceful, God-fearing, and not so polished (speak not-so-good English).

The second category looks classy, has HND-MBA, either employed or looking for jobs, uses expensive body care accessories to look drop-dead gorgeous, speaks polished English and have high expectations. Some of them are extreme feminists. Just like us men, girls put in a lot of efforts to get to this category, that's why their expectations are high.

This is the problem...when a man meets the first category, he will just sleep with her and dump her at once, saying that those ones don't meet their standard of a wife. She is not my kind of girl.

The second category went to school and understand how men think and use it against men. When an average guy meets them, she will tell the guy to go and look for his class of girls. If you are an average guy, you will call her all sorts of names, including ashawo, because she rejected you in the hopes that better suitors will come. This is probably Justbehave's case.

Way forward....
You need to pay for this advice...

As for virginity, that topic has been discussed on Nairaland several times. Just look for the thread.

Abetterperson:
I honestly don't know why Nigerian men see virgins as wife materials.
Please educate me

AdesewaAde:
It’s just shameful that you guys now see cheating as fashion,you see it as something that makes a man complete.
This your comment drew me back to my last dating experience,the 3 years relationship cracked just because he cheats a lot and even do boost about it,imagine dating someone who do say it to your face that every man cheats and he will continue to cheat then apologise when being caught,that afterall he will always come back home when done outside.
You guys sees toying with other people’s emotions is just fun.
I will continue with my detective mode and won’t hesitate to cut him off if he is really a cheat, is either you are sincere with me or you let me go.

awesonjr:
I feel you pain
use this akon song dey calm
Lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely
I have nobody for my own
Oh, I'm so lonely
I'm Mr. Lonely
I'm Mr. Lonely
I have nobody for my own
Oh, I'm so lonely

danski:
Shut up
May ur life be like DAT of dem Amen