₦airaland Forum

Interesting how the husband who is not known and from whom no one has heard is a scumbag simply because a woman has stated some things.

Forums are quite interesting to read

Kobojunkie:
So you are saying that in WESTERN democracy, lawmakers sit down and share Ghana must go bags filled with money? In Western Democracy, there are too many government officials all milking the nations dry?

What kind of Democracy demands that the government comprise of lawmakers who sit and do nothing but share money and milk the country? Is democracy to blame for the lawmakers continued choice to neglect the work they ought to be focused on, and choosing instead to continue to steal from us while we the people continue to fold our arms expecting democracy to MAGICALLY SAVE the day?

Okay okay. .  . I think I understand kobojunkie now.

You think the fact that someone says we should not practice democracy means that the person is blaming democracy for the ills of the society?

If we are not ready for democracy because we dont have the personnel and wherewithal for it, we should not practice it!!!

Kobojunkie:
So you are saying that in WESTERN democracy, lawmakers sit down and share Ghana must go bags filled with money? In Western Democracy, there are too many government officials all milking the nations dry?
What kind of Democracy demands that the government comprise of lawmakers who sit and do nothing but share money and milk the country?

I dont know what more to say to get you to understand.

The fact that we dont have people who can sit and do the proper legislative work without stealing tells it all. Its like telling unqualified people to do the jobs of doctors.

Kobojunkie:
You have yet to define the WESTERN in democracy you continue to harp on about. I can go anywhere and make superfluous claims myself that WESTERN sugar will not do us all anygood. I will not make much sense until I explain what exactly WESTERN sugar is and why, compared to other kinds, it will not work.

I will give an example of the western practice of democracy- excessive lawmakers in parliament. What do they do but to sit there and share Ghana must go bags filled with money? Too many government officials, all milking the nation dry!

@poster,
could it be that the circumstances of their births and upbringing is one of the causes?

I have met a few like that who find it difficult. White guys in UK dont generally do black girls seriously and they are unable to understand the mentality of the naija-born boys who, more often than not, are more interested in making money to send back home. Many of the boys born abroad tend to date white girls if they are decent and successful. The ones that are left for the girls tend to be the most irresponsible of the lot.

This means that the girls dont have enough room for making choices.

KB1:
It's not that they are finding it more difficult, it's more of a case of that they are finding it less necessary and more difficult on themselves to rush into settling into a life long situation with anyone. There's less pressure for them to do so in the west. They are more able to take their time and enjoy their lives as un-bound women before throwing themselves into a bond in which they are not and or may not be ready to commit to, YET!! Also they are given more freedom to chose to settle with the partner that is right for them rather than their mother or father, or any one else who often attempts nudges them into a marriage with a guy who they like simply because of his possessions, or status in the area they live, ethnic background or religion.

That's so untrue. They will only tell you such things because of whatever they are going through at the particular time. As soon as they are able to find a good guy, they always change their tunes.

Siena:
Yes, I will.

A Counsellor, be it Marriage / Family, is a professional.[/b]They don't have to be married.
[b]DeltaVAG^TM

Yes. A counsellor is mainly a professional person but I'd rather not be counselled by someone who does not know what exactly you're going through. Marriage is not like physical sickness. I'd rather take marriage counselling from experienced people who know what its about.

Besides, most marriages who are troubled end up in divorce as soon as they go for counselling. . .i'm not implying that counselling made them worse but they do end up in divorce and the counsellors help with divorce counselling. (speaking only for UK)

I can honestly say that you never knew the guy or that you decided to blind yourself to certain things in the past.

That guy is not the guy for you. I could never deny a girlfriend let alone my wife.

Something tells me that you were in too much of a rush to get hooked or that you just liked the playboy and fun ways of the guy. I've seen it happen a number of times when girls just love the playboys and the so-called fun guys, knowing fully well that the guy is unfaithful. Unfaithfulness is not something that can just be dropped easily. . . same for playboyism.

I honestly still believe that this Western style democracy will not do us any good and it is the reason why we have made little or no progress after 10 years. There is even no sign that there will be progress because, for every step taken forward, two steps seem to be taken backwards.

We should not try and practice what others practice when we know that we dont have the same qualities that those societies have. We have a much higher level of illiteracy, we have a nation where no statistics exist, we have a nation where poverty seems to be prevalent etc. These things dictate that we should not expect to practice exactly what is practiced in western nations and achieve the same results.

There are very many things we are yet to put in place in order to be able to practice that type of democracy successfully.

nuzo:
The only thing wrong with the so-called western democracy are nigerians. They are too cowardly, hypocritical and busy boot licking and selling their destiny votes for small bags of rice.
Until nigerians decide to change this attitude, there's no system of government that can work in that country.

Have you considered that we may be putting the cart before the horse? Why dont we adopt what will suit our attitude first?

Nnenna1:
Are Ghana and Senegal countries you would herald as successes? Please explain why you think so - and don't say peacefully held elections.

How many years do you estimate will make good for Nigeria with the way we're going? 50? 100? 1000? At the tip of the apocalypse? I understand that it's a few centuries after the American Revolution, but the U.S. was a strong, notable nation even back in historical times. It was one created by its people from the get go, and not one given by colonialists (I'm talking about the Union, not the British colonies prior to the revolution). Thus, the U.S. was not, and is not Nigeria. You're comparing apples and oranges.

When we're blindly follow a model of government made for different people in different situations, and don't tailor it to meet our demographic make-up and cultural beliefs, there's bound to be trouble, and thus fodder for opportunists who will loot till kingdom come. Observe post-colonial Nigerian history - can you tell me that ethnic tensions did not play the biggest role in what we're dealing with?

I also don't think that western democracy is the mount Everest of government forms either. It works because it works for them, and not because it's the most evolved democracy there is.

NUFF SAID!

It was designed by them with their own cultural attitudes in mind

The man is not wise. He should just register the woman in a gym and she can become a money-spinning boxer, probably beating up all the known world champs and raking in billions of dollars in the process

who is this man?
Does he understand anything about economics and how it can be applied to the Nigerian economic system?

Please tell him to keep quiet when he doesn't understand things

debosky:
I suspected this from the beginning, 13 year old boy, first time sex, belle? Not that it can't happen, but it sounds fishy.

The girl claims she didn't sleep with anyone else, but the rascals that came out claim otherwise.

Is that not something that girls tend to say a lot?

tpia:
this poor little child doesnt look like someone who's had sex abeg. The girl was deceiving him and covering for the other two nasty looking thugs one of whom is probably the baby's real father.
They should let the cute little boy grow up normally before trying to mess him up with this baby drama.

I bet there are a few other men who were shagging the girl and they have not bothered to come forward. These things are too rampant within the British society.

Mark Zuckerberg seems determined to keep people's information and details with his company legally for ever. He has said they will definitely revise the terms although they have reverted temporarily to the old T&Cs.

I would be wary if I have information on facebook now. It might be better to delete all such information including pics till whenever they release the new T&C's

This one actually defies any form of logic or explanation except for illiteracy.

However, the best thing to do is to deal harshly with the idiots torturing kids because they are brainwashed by some money-guzzling fake preachers

lucabrasi:
what exactly are the "western things"that wont suit us?
a government for the people and by the people wont suit us?what is your alternative, and what things do they have that we dont apart from commitment to good governnance,conscience both leading to good leadership?
maybe you need to look at their histories to know they all weathered through the strom we r going through as well

You have mentioned some things that they have in their societies upon which their  democracies are built which we dont have. Why should we then try to build the same type of democracies when we obviously lack those ingredients within us?

I think the children should be made to point out those who tortured them and such idiots be given long prison sentences.

It's absolutely disgusting that anyone would do that to their own flesh and blood

Some really sensible comments by Moonstone and Lagosboy.

We want to practice their styles when we dont have the kind of things they have to sustain what they practice. We want to start running with weak legs!

A lot of people who always advocate that everything has to be done the western way never think about the fact that there are so many western things/ways that will just not suit us. They may suit us later if some things are in place or if they change.

We are killing ourselves by just wanting to do everything exactly the way things are done in Western nations rather than take our peculiar circumstances into consideration.

michelin89:
Yes, I posted it. those girls are fugly, so wetin? Na only virginity man  go eat? When she nor be virgin nko? Who wan dey look that kind face as he newly wake up in the morning? Listen, don't come here to pretend you care for those girls, coz you don't. You are fighting for them just because I have decided they are not even worth a leaf crown. Save your breath and your dignity and admit those girls are just the evidence of that fact that if you wowo, you go remain virgin until you meet a blind man.

I take it you dont know what ugly means. You are way uglier than 2 of those girls. If they had access to, and are willing to, use the same level of cosmetics and wear the kind of dresses you wear, no man will think twice before saying that they are much prettier than you. Do you not realise you have no beauty? Just go and look at your face again

@ debosky,

well heard. I take it you will be fair enough to ban michelin tyre too.

If you want to take action against someone who has only reacted, you need to take greater action again the one who initiated the aggression

KarmaMod:
The irony is the people who wrote such on this thread were MALE yet it's the females you people are being nasty towards

I agree because one cant really count michelin as female.

Her mother's mouth is obtrusively shaped and ugly as well as hers

@karma, I have not been nasty to any female on account of this discussion. I have spoken generally on the whole.

even debosky who doesn't agree that chastity should be encouraged in that way did not insult me and I did not insult him, despite our disagreement.

meanwhile, that insult was posted by michelin - and you can check back to see on the first page

is this also not an insult?

U only have to look @ their wo-wo faces to know y they're still virgins, its obviously due to a lack of opportunities.

Meanwhile there's none of them that is not better looking than michelin

is this not an insult to the girls?

no wonder they are virgins!

michelin89:
No your mother is sick and your wife is even sicker. Do they know you have escaped from the mental hospital where your mother gave birth to you coz she knew right well that you were a psycho just like her even before you were born, retarded bitch and modafucker?

I will soon publish your mother's full names here for everyone to see. She may have changed it alittle but I'm sure her first name is still the same.
She had you as a bastard and that explains your ugliness and psychotic ways.

michelin89:
Now I know you are sick and you also the most stupid person I have met in my entire life. Are you even human?

Not as sick as your mother. . . otherwise you would not be such a mistaken child that you are

This is what happens when we are constantly believing that WHATEVER is done abroad is good and whatever we do/practice is bad.
We are taking all the evil of the western world rather than sifting out the bad aspects of their lives. many nigerians get to america and try to be more american than the Americans. . .funny thing is that they always copy the worst Americans (the scum of the American society)

bridget007:
@ Gemmie, Take it from you can do it without him and you will be better for it. I wish I had done it alone.
I met my nigerian huband in UK, we planned marriage and a baby, at first he was wonderful. Eventually he bacame a tyrant and abusive. All had to be done his way, by his standards, his nigerian ways, which I didn't mind until he wanted everything his way or no way.
I wish I hadn't married him and was a single mum without him criticising all I do. I love his family and will keep in touch with them, but don't want him-but its hard to live a life now without him.

Try and get contact with his family, if they good nigerians they will not ignore your child, but leave him be. A real man does not do what he did

The lesson is there for others wanting to take the plunge. The signs are always there from the start but you ignore those signs because you believe that your love will see you through it and when you think you are in love, you dont mind doing anything for the other person. Marriage throws a different perspective into it - and thats where maturity comes into play and you'll also know if you made the right or wrong decisions along the line.

The guy is probably better of without her as well as she may be better off without him because they have both showed a lack of ability to make sound judgements.

I'll come out straight here - back to the genesis.
why would 2 adults have sex without protection if they did not want a baby?
why didn't you use an oral contraception immediately after the act?
did he want the baby in the first place?
We cannot blame the guy too much for the pregnancy. You wanted the pregnancy. He did not.
Yeah, the guy is obviously lying about being disowned and banished from his village. For all we care, he could be lying about being married as well.

You cannot trust the guy now because he is obviously lying. He cannot trust you either because you went ahead to get pregnant for him without his consent. So, though it is irresponsible for a guy not to care for his baby, it's also naive that you expect him to accept responsibility for a decision he never made.

Take care of the baby. Try your best to keep in touch with the father. I have a feeling he will accept the baby eventually. Then you can start thinking of contacting his family etc. But if you go ahead now to contact his family, it's like you are trying to get back to him and report him to them etc. There are better ways of going about it.

Last Word - you are as much to blame and as he is. It's not fair for everyone to see him as the only guilty party here. We just need to be sincere about this. Best of luck.

good post

I'm sure that most of those criticising this would not be doing same if this thing was done in America.