₦airaland Forum

...dammit... it works o..but I hop this doesn't affect the battery life?

lemme try this...brb

[size=14pt]Who is this Chika Ike and what does she do? [/size]

Ok..Simple Question: “Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?”

GEORGE W BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We
just want To know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us.
There is no middle ground here.

BILL GATES:
I have just witnessed eChicken2013 which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook; internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

THE BIBLE:
And God uttered His voice from heaven, and He said unto the chicken, THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much rejoicing.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross
roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

A TYPICAL NIGERIAN:
Why are you asking me why the chicken crossed the road? abi your own lost? Abeg, i no want wahala o! I am innocent. Jo, if dem send you come meet me, tell dem say you no jam me for house.

GEJ:
It's a manifestation of our transformation Agenda

GANI:
Why wont the chicken cross the road? When there is no light in her house. No fuel in her car! No food in her stomach! No job to do! Armed robbers are after her eggs, the schools are closed,..... ....why wont it cross to the other side?

HON. PATRICK:
The question strikes to mind a perpendicularity of oblivious occurrences. The rationale for the crawling species of the hen folk for advancing across the broadway to the obvious greener side, portrays a phantasmagoric allegory in my homosapious mind, that there is a reason. The metaphoric proposition may be that it is an act of protestism against the government of the day and hence justifying it subconscious mind that she has done her civil
biddings.

PLATO:
For the greater good.

KARL MARX:
It was a historical inevitability.

MACHIAVELLI:
So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

HIPPOCRATES:
Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.

JACQUES DERRIDA:
Any number of contending discourses may be discovered
within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!

THOMAS DE TORQUEMADA:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

TIMOTHY LEARY:
Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment
would let it take.

DOUGLAS ADAMS :
Forty-two.

NIETZSCHE:
Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road
gazes also across you.

OLIVER NORTH:
National Security was at stake.

B.F. SKINNER:
Because the external influences which had pervaded its
sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a
fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.

CARL JUNG:
The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads atthis historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

JEAN-PAUL SARTRE:
In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

LUDWIG WITTGENSTEIN:
The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

ARISTOTLE:
To actualize its potential.

BUDDHA: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.

CHRIS OKOTIE:
It may very well have been one of the most astonishing
events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt
such a herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.

DARWIN:
It was the logical next step after coming down from the tree.

EMILY DICKSON:
Because it could not stop for death.

EPICURUS:
For the fun of it.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON:
It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

JOHANN VON GOETHE:
The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain.

WEINER HEISENBERG:
We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.

DAVID HUME:
Out of custom and habit.

JACK NICHOLSON:
'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored)reason.

PYRRHO THE SKEPTIC:
What road?

RONALD REAGAN:
I forgot.
.
THE SPHINX:
You tell me.

Mr. T:
If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!

Henry David Thoreau:
To live deliberately ... and suck all the
marrow
out of life.

Mark Twain:
The news of its crossing has been greatly
exaggerated.

Molly Yard:
It was a hen!

Zeno of Elea:
To prove it could never reach the other side.

Chaucer:
So priketh hem nature in hir corages.

Wordsworth:
To wander lonely as a cloud.

The Godfather:
I didn't want its mother to see it like that.

Keats:
Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.

Blake:
To see heaven in a wild fowl.

Othello:
Jealousy.

Dr Johnson:
Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have, you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the Need to resist such a public Display of your own lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.

Mrs Thatcher:
This chicken's not for turning.

Supreme Soviet:
There has never been a chicken in this photograph.

Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in town ought never expose one to such barbarous
inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a
road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the
chicken in question.

Kafka:
Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.

Swift:
It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome,
filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume
to question the actions of one in all respects his
superior.

Macbeth:
To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.

Whitehead:
Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of
misplaced concreteness.

Freud:
An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter)

Hamlet:
That is not the question.

Donne:
It crosseth for thee.

Pope:
It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.

Constable:
To get a better view.

Me:
If I say -end-
you say -time-
and another man says -tinz-
omo na u sabi o


SOURCE: VARIOUS...lol

nice articulate speech...

but all politicians are hypocrites *Tupac*

They say one thing and clearly do the other..

WHAT IS NIGERIA
NIGERIA IS A PLACE WHERE SEX IS FREE AND LOVE IS
COSTLY.
WHERE LOOSING A PHONE IS MORE PAINFUL THAN LOOSING
VIRGINITY.
WHERE IF YOU DONT CHEAT ON YOUR PARTNER YOU ARE
NOT SMART AND SHARP.
WHERE BATHROOMS HAVE BECOME A PHOTO STUDIO.
WHERE GETTING A BLACKBERRY PHONE IS GREATER THAN
ACHIEVING A BSC DEGREE.
WHERE THE SWORD AND THE BOMB IS NOW MIGHTIER THAN
PEN.
WHERE RELATIONSHIPS ARE BETTER THAN MARRIAGES.
WHERE CONDOMS AND GUNS ARE REPLACING BIROS AND
BOOKS IN SCHOOLS.
WHERE YOU WON'T BE CALLED MATURE AS A LADY IF YOU
HAVE NOT SLEPT WITH UP TO 10 DIFFERENT MEN.
WHERE PROSTITUTION IS NOW A JOB TO BE RECKONED
WITH.
WHERE BOMBING AND SHOOTING HUMANS IS NOW A DAILY
BUSINESS.
WHERE PEOPLE PREFER COUP PLOTERS, ROGUES AND LIARS
AS LEADERS.
WHERE LADIES PREFER TO BE WITH A MAN IN A JEEP
CRYING THAN TO BE ON A BIKE HAPPY.
WHERE SLAVES RIDE ON HORSES AND PRINCES ARE
TREKKING.
WHERE ANY MUSICIAN WHO HASN'T SANG ABOUT SEX AND
WOMEN IS NOT A GOOD MUSICIAN.
WHERE DRESSING NAKED IS A SIGN OF BEAUTY THAN
DRESSING DECENTLY.
WHERE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE ARE BETTER ACTORS AND
ACTRESS THAN TALENTED PEOPLE.
WHERE TRUTH IS IGNORED AND LIARS ARE WORSHIPPED.
WHERE OUR SO CALLED LEADERS BUY EXPENSIVE CARS AS
WEDDING GIFT TO PEOPLE WHO ARE ALREADY MADE
MILLIONAIRES WHILE 1 MILLION NIGERIANS GO TO BED
WITHOUT FOOD TO EAT.
IS THIS A GREAT NATION?

got this from a friend and decided to share..

NIGERIA @ 99, CELEBRATING HER 53RD INDEPENDENCE
ANNIVERSARY WITH 14TH UNINTERRUPTED DEMOCRACY?
ITS A CALL FOR GREAT CELEBRATION. WAIT A MINUTE HOW
BEST TO CELEBRATE WITH MY PEOPLE IN D SOUTH WHO
ARE STILL LIVING IN D GREAT FEAR OF KIDNAPPING,
ROBBERY, POLITICAL TURMOIL, HELPLESS UNEMPLOYED
YOUTH ETC. OR HOW BEST TO CELEBRATE DIS WITH MY
NOTHERN COUNTERPARTS? WHEN THEY LIVE EACH
MINUTES OF THEIR LIFE LIKE ITS GOING TO BE THEIR LAST.
THEY SNEEZE IN &OUT THE GUN POWDER EVERYDAY. THEY
LIVE IN D MIDDLE OF TWO GREAT ENEMIES, ONE CALL D
BOKO HARAM & D OTHER NIGERIA MILLITARY. THEY CANT
CALL TO D MILLITARY FOR HELP & THEY DARE NOT CLOSE
TO BOKO HARAM YET THEY BOTH CLAIMED TO BE FIGHTING FOR THEM. IF U ARE TOO POOR & AV NOWHERE TO LAY UR HEAD U ARE VULNERABLE because D ARMY WILL KILL U FOR MORE RANK & DEN LABEL UR CORPSE A BOKO HARAM. WE CALLED TO MR PRESIDENT WEN WILL DIS POSSIBLY COMES TO AN END. HE REPLIES HE DONT KNW WEN, BUT AS USUAL THEY ARE ON TOP OF IT WHILE D BOKOHARAM ARE BENEATH GROUNDING D WHOLE SYSTEM UNDER MR PRESIDENT NOSE. CELEBRATION! CELEBRATION!! I SHOUTED, ROLLING MY DRUMS OUT THANKING GOD THAT
ATLEAST HE KEPT US. IN WHITE AGBADA OUR GOVENMENT
OFFICIALS TROOPS OUT, BUT FROM ALL AROUND US ARE D
CRY OF D WIDOWS, D OPHANS, THE HAVE-NOTS, DE
DESTITUTES, UNEMPLYED YOUTHS, ETC WHO CLOTHED
THEMSELVES IN BLACK ATTIRES. INSTANTLY I REALIZED ITS INDEED THERE ARE SO MUCH TO CELEBRATE BUT FEW
PEOPLE HAVE REASONS TO CELEBRATE. THESE STINKING
LEADERS CLOTHED THEMSELVES IN WHITE ATTIRES LIKE
THEY APPEARED YESTERDAY IN CHURCH DISGUISE TO BE
CLEAN AV SO MUCH TO CELEBRATE AT D EXPENSE OF U & I.
THEY CELEBRATE THEIR LOOTHS,CORRUPTION GROWTH @D EXPENSE OF ECONOMY GROWTH,ENOUGH BLOOD FOR THEIR SUCKING VAMPIRE WHO NEVER SAY ENOUGH, RISE IN POVERTY LEVELE because OF THEIR GREEDINESS,THEIR
CHILDREN SCHOOLING ABROAD @D EXPENSE OF D CROPS
OF STUDENTS SITTING AT HOME WITH LITTLE HOPE OF
GOING BACK SOON,ETC.YET THEY SAY WE ARE FOR D
PEOPLE.GOD WILL TAKE CHARGE &VERY SOON MAYBE VERY SOON D NEW NIGERIA WILL EMERGED.SORRY
INDEPENDENCE.

#Nigeria@53

**dust my bed, lay my bedspread, tuck under my blanket**
reactivate sleep mode!

Happy independence everyone.


and lest I forget...does anyone know what is INDEPENDENCE?

Genevieve definitely looks more traditional...Agbani? I guess the traditional tin doesn't go too well with her..

BTW..who is Agbani?

**** SIGHS *****


**** SIGHS ******


***** SIGHS ******

GEJ came to this media chat drunk....period!

I mean he' be talking and all I' be hearing is bla bla bla bla

Back
to
comment
when
the
chat
proper
starts

Pk001: Did any of you collect his appointment letter in a stadium?

Were the teachers going to work in the stadium?

I think labour missed it here. They should be chanelling their anger to Ameachi for inhumane treatment of the employees.

Is it because he is giving them Job, that he made them to all assemble in the stadium?

Ameachi had another motive, and am happy Mr Mbu dealt with the situation.

Teachers abeg know your right. You never start work you don dey suffer. Chei!!

guy forget that one wey u dey yearn o.....
in this present state of unemployment, even if they say make people assemble for prison to collect letter..as long as they give us d J-O-B.

direct ur anger to those govt parastatals making billions off innocent jobless youths (@NA, NAF, NN, Immigration, NSCDC, Prison etc.)

space reserved..

how this one take concern ASUU strike..

.

whr this mods sef, carry this ish go fp joor..
if na Tonto cuf now, they go zoom am go fp b4 u say 'Dike'

.

is it just me or that headline (topic) doesn't go with the content of this post

if person talk say endtime tinz now, some people go dey vex.

It is not achievement that can readily be savoured by his nearest and dearest. But Kailash Singh has as good a claim as any to the accolade of world's smelliest man - after refusing to wash for more than 37 years.
Mr Singh, 65, has not bathed or cut his 6ft-long dreadlocks since 1974, shortly after he married.Explaining his unconventional decision, Mr Singh claimed a priest guaranteed him a much-prized son and heir if he followed the advice.
Despite neighbours joking the sweaty farmer would be lucky persuade his wife to have any children at all, his religious guidance clearly failed - he has seven daughters. Mr Singh spends his days tending cows in
47C heat, yet the only 'cleansing' he does allow himself is a 'fire bath' each evening,
which involves smoking marijuana, praying to the Hindu Lord Shiva and dancing around a bonfire.
His long-suffering family admit they did once tried to force him into a stream.
'He fought us off and ran away,' said wife Kalavati Devi, 60.
'We've tried several times since to force him to have a
shower but he puts up such a fuss.
'He says he'd rather die than take a bath and only a son
could change his mind. It has been so many years now I've
got used to it.'
His wife even threatened to stop sleeping with him if he
didn't bath, but she gave in first, insisting she should be
loyal and put up with the stench.
The father-of-seven spends all day working up a sweat
tending cows and working in his fields near the Indian holy city of Varanasi, on the banks of the River Ganges, where temperatures regularly top 47C.
He admits neighbours in the rural village of Chatav make fun of him but said he is following god's will.
'Children tease and shout that I don't wash when I ride my bicycle through the village,' he said. 'There are many people who have a poor character that mock me for not washing.
They do not understand my decision but I will not change my mind as it is god's choice, not mine

'My wife doesn't like it either but she must bear all the
hardships I have to bear. Besides, I take a fire bath in the evenings and that gets rid of all the sweat.'
Mr Singh's wife claims she has tried everything to make her smelly husband clean up his act without success.
'I abused him and started crying when he told me about his senseless decision,' she said. 'I even threatened to stop
sleeping with him but he is my husband so there was little I could do about it.'
Youngest daughter Pooja, 16, even says her father's
strange decision has made her more popular.
'My schoolmates are curious to see and meet my papa,' she said. 'They keep asking me how he can live for so many years without washing and want to see for themselves.
'Earlier I would be angry but there's nothing we can do as he doesn't listen to anyone.
'In this hot summer I want to shower at least twice a day but he doesn't want to take even one. I don't know how he manages to live.'
The only contact with water Kailash has is to wash his
mouth and hands.
'I have no son, so I will never wash again,' he said. 'Maybe when I am born again I will wash.'

source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2007220/Kailash-Singh-The-farm-worker-washed-37-years.html

...

d positioning of the photography was not fair to Newton...

ET topic.....I wonder what it's doing on fp....

infant the very thought of driving an auto transmission with both legs is absurd..... when both pads (brake and throttle ) are position to the right...

it's like putting a left slippers on a right foot when u try to apply the brake with ur left..

if I say -end-, and you say -time-.... and another man say tinz
omo na u sabi

wetin this phone take different from my A+ ...OK..bbm
#still sipping my Alimony details wait for that bbm android

still rocking 3310 OS

follow your heart bro. it's all I can say. follow your heart

@op... please can you rewrite all those things in English...
thank u!