₦airaland Forum

chino25: My story:

I Chinonso Samuel Dike, I was born in 1977. That year, my mother slept with at least 5 men. I Chinonso Samuel Dike, I was born in the gutter. I was being washed away before a kind man picked me up and sold me for bread.


That's why I am called Chinonso Samuel Dike aka the Lunatic and social deviant.

Fabdedon: :DI started driving wen ah was 12 cos ah always disturb ma dad that i am now taller dan d car and ah need to learn it.. Joking one day e told me pillow and off to d field... I drove home dat day.. From den henceforth ah was driving now d nxt tin to learin is drifting..

balash: Always had Zeal for driving whenever I take public trans I always sit at the front with driver's just to know wasap! At 17 my 1st born (a guy) took me and my elder brother to learn with a 504 and he only told me once,do this and that and kwa! I was already driving while my other brother was stil panicking.
So started driving neighbour's car and friends car because Dad will never allow me touch his car,the first time I drove interstate lagos to ogbomosho with a family friend because Dad does not trust my driving yet he went to and fro ogbomosho with us that day and sat by my side always signaling with his hand for me to slow down lol.
Some year's back after sch I drove a friend to Abuja from lagos and back and when Dad heard he only called me aside and said whenever I want to drive long distance I should always pray b4 moving,I only smiled lol...have had some very stupid driving encouter like when I went to abuja like 3 yrs back and I was bored at home doing nothing walking along a street a saw a post asking for a truck (mack) driver who can drive a truck carrying container from abuja to nassarawa and I applied without knowing how to drive a truck,I just called my brother and he told me to pump the throttle well b4 moving and that was it I did the job for 1month took my salary and ran away b4 someone who know me see me lmao,then that same time on my way back to lagos took Ekene dili chukwu bus and it got faulty after lugbe express and we waited for them to bring another bus they never did and we started taking nameless luxirious who ply lagos route late that night and I took a luxirious bus can't remember the name it was filled no more space but was in the driver's side on one small stool I guess they dnt want to loose my 3k too and I noticed the driver was taking a very big bottle of chelsea gin whilst driving with his motorboy too and everytime he try pass to me I say I dnt want cox I dnt take alcohol when we got close to lokoja the driver asked me do u know how to drive? I said yes and he said he can't see anything anymore I should come take the wheel and he only parked and I took the wheel only because I have a truck driving experience lol,and lo and behold I drove it to lagos! It was at ojota when someone shouted he wanted to drop and saw the driver and motorboy drunk and sleeping and he shouted that passenger's should come see who drove them to lagos and they started howling insults on the driver when they knew they were drunk and they started thanking me and giving me money hehe,I guess I made extra 20k that day with my 3k I was supposed to pay.... One Lovely experience I can never forget now if there's a road to heaven kwanu just get me a good car...

EINSTEINPG: Gratitude is the least of virtues. Ingratitude the worst of vices. Thanks for your reformative piece of advice. Besides, it would be myopic of me to remain incorrigible. I will surely work on your priceless advice. You know what? You are my idol bro.

5minsmadness: Manager/genius/philanthropist

olagamalin: .Some people bring happiness wherever they go; while you bring happiness whenever you go.

lorRhyMeZ: Actually I don't..though it aint becos of my childhood experience...I don't eat meat generally

trukoments: God created houseflies, cockroaches, maggots, mosquitos, fleas, ticks, slugs, leeches, and intestinal parasites, then he lowered his standards and made you. I take it back; God didn't make you. You are Satan's spawn. You are Evil beyond comprehension, half-living in the slough of despair. You are the entropy which will claim us all. You are a green-nostriled, crossed eyed, hairy-livered, goisher kopf, inbred trout-defiler. You make Ebola look good. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are not ANSI compliant and your markup doesn't validate. You have a couple of address lines shorted together. You should be promoted to Engineering Manager. Do you really expect your delusional and incoherent ramblings to be read? Everyone plonked you long ago. Your life is one big W.O.M.B.A.T., and your future doesn't look promising either. We need to trace your bloodline and terminate all siblings and cousins in order to cleanse humanity of your polluted genes. The good news is that no normal human would ever mate with you, so we won't have to go into the sewers in search of your git. You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a loathsome disease, a drooling inbred cross-eyed toesucker. You make Quakers shout and strike Pentecostals silent. You have a version 1.0 mind in a version 6.13 world. Your mother had to tie a pork chop around your neck.

gramci: "you are the reason I support abortion"

buttymachiavelli: As a child(and as an adult ), I ws/am claustrophobic(the fear of being locked in a small space). I remember vividly wen I ws locked up in a bathroom in secondary schl as a punishment for nt cleaning the bathroom properly, dat ws the day I tried committing suicide, I culdn't breathe agen(even @ d thought of it, my heart beats faster), d story continues later....

lorRhyMeZ: Mine was and still is Chickens...Hens most precisely.
I still remember how a mother hen continually pecked me even as I ran....till I fell down it still continued pecking every available space on my body...Harrowing experience for a 3year old. So till date I still and would never hold a live chicken..

horlawaleh001: Another Al-Hasan.....

parrotibaba: afraid of flowers?

immortalvoices: do I see a native doctor in the making

ITbomb: Moderation is the key word
Your wife must work but not working herself out.
There should be a good job near home and closes in good time.

Remember she should be working for passion not killing herself for money.

A working mother builds the best home - ITbomb, 1998

I told one girl that I always wanted to [b]marry a teacher[/], imagine the horror on her face (with her B Eng Chemical Engineering) , we broke up 2 months later

promise2020: i hate people that use left hand, i feel they reason left left instead of right.. i had a friend that shakes people with his left hand, it shows no sign of respect

Lordseyad: Just about to ask that question...

Was just wondering how could a person who is yet to be in a University speaks with such Fluency.

Heineken: All they know is to 2go and chat ru*bish. Why won't they fail?

jaybel: Yea,it can happen in two ways;i applied for accounting buh was given finance while sum pple wld be given a particular course and get moved to anoda dept due to wrong o'level or jamb combo,nd so on...

jaybel: Bro,if u actually believe u can get admitted into dat dept,I promise u on behalf of Jesus,u will...i scored 183 last year nd 54% in d putme nd here iam in da skool...#Just believe