₦airaland Forum

[quote author=Mrs, Chima link=topic=877931.msg10256580#msg10256580 date=1329996256]Lagos housing may be cheap, but their hotels aren't!!!!  

One guy tried to sell us some yellow holy water.   [/quote][color=#000030]LMAO @ yellow holy water. What tha hell is that?[/color]

[color=#000030]A big girl is a girl that is big!
A tiny anorexic looking tooth pick of a girl can have the characteristics listed from 1 - 10. Will you still call her a big girl? [/color]

dwise88:
Brother if d 40k is ur monthly pay, i think u are gud to go because d ultimate measure of a man is not during confort or convinced but during challenges and controversy. I knw u are a man but u are not getting any younger.

[color=#000030]He is not good to go! No one should get married because of undue pressure. If he's not getting younger, so what? Should he get married and start manufacturing kids on a 40k salary? Will you be there when he falls into the deep sh[i]i[/i]t? The ultimate measure of a man is maturity. Maturity to know that it is foolishness to start what you cannot finish. Maturity to realize that it is calamitous to get married on a 40k salary and expect a miracle. If it was 4 years ago in 2008, i would have said give it a shot. But in 2012? Hell to the power of NO! [/color]

Honeycity:
it all boils down to where you reside, places like Lagos or abuja  im afraid 40k might not  be enough 2 sustain  you for a month

[color=#000030]Actually, Lagos is the cheapest place to live in. But even at that, building a family on a foundation of 40k is like committing suicide. Times are getting harder. Now, if her salary is also 40k and she is willing to combine(she should be) then 80k will take them places. On 40k alone? Count me the hell out! [/color]

[quote author=Mrs, Chima link=topic=877967.msg10256484#msg10256484 date=1329995551]Correction: 22 years old. [/quote][color=#000030]Corrected and emboldened! [/color]

[quote author=Mrs, Chima link=topic=877931.msg10256380#msg10256380 date=1329994828]Yes.   [/quote][color=#000030]OP, RUN![/color]

[color=#000030]If you think there is an acceptable age, keep dreaming! Where were you when a 22 year old married his grandmother's mate? As long as you are over 18 you are of age, your mental maturity comes into play. But then, it's left to you to be mentally mature, and it's left to whoever it is that you are proposing marriage/accepting his proposal to deem you mature enough to get married! Age is a number, and the acceptable age is subjective o jare. . . Marriage is Marriage! [/color]

[color=#000030]If you are afraid of toasting girls, try toasting bread. . . toasting is toasting! [/color]

[color=#000030]It depends on the song. . . There are many female singers on Nairaland alone, just give them the beat. . . [/color]

[color=#000030]Beware of She-Vampires! [/color]

[color=#000030]Anybody that says yes is lying to you. . . [/color]

[color=#000030][size=48pt]NO! [/size][/color]

[color=#000030]Yes! You can fall in love with an animal. It's even legal to make love with an animal. . . So make hay while the sun shines! [/color]

[color=#000030]Accept her back. . .
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And be the best fool of February 2012! [/color]

[color=#000030]How do you feel knowing the Guy she's replacing you with? [/color]

[color=#000030]Use of the car. . . [/color]

[color=#000030]^^^
Not here to please anyone, so fcck off ! [/color]

[color=#000030]So you think you are Smart

So, take the following test presented here and determine if you are losing it or are still "with it."

OK, relax, clear your mind and, lets begin. Don't scroll down until you have the answer and don't cheat!

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1. What do you put in a toaster?

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Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself.

If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.


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2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?


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Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat.

If you said "water" then proceed to question 3.



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3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

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Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," what the devil are you still doing here reading these questions?

If you said "glass," then! go on to Question 4.



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4. Its twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany(If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany.)


Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany.

Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"?

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Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated.
If you said, "Don't bury the survivors", then proceed to the next question.


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5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on.

In Sweden, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on.

In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on In Carmarthen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?


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Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU! Read the question carefully [/color]

[color=#000030]300% Impotent!

A woman went to her doctor and complained that her husband was 300% impotent.

The doctor replied ,"I 'm not sure I understand what you mean ."

She answered , "Well, the first 100% you can imagine. In addition he burned his tongue and broke his fingers".

[/color]

[color=#000030]Maria is a devout Catholic: She gets married and has 17 children. Soon after the last child is born her husband dies. A few weeks later she remarries and over the following years has another 22 children with her second husband.


After the last child is born her second husband also dies.


Within a month Maria is engaged to be married a third time. Unfortunately she becomes very ill and dies.

At her wake, the priest looks tenderly at Maria as she lies in her coffin, looks up to the heavens and says,

"At least, they're finally together."

A man standing next to the priest asks, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean Maria and her first husband, or Maria and her second husband?"

The priest says, "I mean her legs."[/color]

[color=#000030]Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane kissing. Johnny finds this so exciting that he can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly.


"Mommy, mommy! I was at the playground, and daddy and, "

Mommy tells him to slow down, and that she wants to hear the story.

So Johnny tells her: "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went to look and Daddy was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss. Then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy, "

At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for suppertime. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."

At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnny to tell his story. He describes the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and, "then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Jeff used to do when Daddy was in the Army." [/color]

[color=#000030]Lmao @ Probation. . . Ok![/color]

[color=#000030]The Priest & His C[i]o[/i]ck

The priest in a small Irish village was very fond of the chickens he kept in the hen house out behind the parish manse. He had a C[i]o[/i]ck rooster and about ten hens.


One Saturday night the C[i]o[/i]ck rooster went missing, and because the priest had heard that C[i]o[/i]ck fights occurred in the village, he decided to question his parishioners about it at church the next morning.

At Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got aC[i]o[/i]ck ?"

All the men stood up. . .

"No, No, " he said, "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a C[i]o[/i]ck ?"

All the women stood up.

"No, No", he said, "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a C[i]o[/i]ck that doesn't belong to them?"

Half the women stood up.

"No, No", he said, "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY C[i]o[/i]ck ?"

All the nuns, and the two priests stood up. . . [/color]

[color=#000030]^^^
Cool homie. . . You never told me how that fracas was finally laid to rest![/color]

Keep on masturbatyn with her picture lol. .

[color=#000030]LMAO! No mind the pikin! [/color]

[color=#000030]Person go dey house dey find im goat, im no go no say the goat dey cybercafe dey browse NL as mumu19. St[i]u[/i]pid boy! Instead of you to accept that you mistakenly alluded to coogar as a female while trying to make a pointless point, you are here aggravating your stupidity! Carry your mumu waka far abeg. I no get time for you now. Make i ignore your yansh small! [/color]

[color=#000030]^^^
Ode! You no bother for people for here. Na in you dey crush on top pesin? You be proper hypocritical cow! You smoke mess? Na me you dey para give abi? make i no enter you dis night make you for no regret why you login. . . Small pikin! i don dey believe say you be man and you be gay. nonsense!
How do i know you are a girl? Make thunder fire that your kpekere finger dia! [/color]

[color=#000030]Pedestal only 4? [/color]

mamalola19:
sisi always go for who dem love even if d man does nt love dem back
sisi always go for money instead of who loves them
sis go for shine shine bobo even if he hates them
siss go for class
so let women go for love me, i love you God no go vex
when u r not willing to compromise, you will end up with failed promise
its 2012 sisi better shine your eyes. come r u a single sisi too
e be like i hit a nerve on u. no worry man go come for u
ok i recal u, na u come attack me for my thread. till now u nvr see nl man to marry

[color=#000030]You are always in a hurry to be faster than your shadow. . . Coogar is MALE! Dum Dum19.[/color]