₦airaland Forum

[color=#000030]The Portrait

An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted, She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex."

"But you are not wearing any of those things."

"I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and. . .






I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry. [/color]

[quote author=Mr, Cork link=topic=878996.msg10267594#msg10267594 date=1330113659]microwave is now a big deal in Nigeria. . I bet they use it to make fufu (no oofeinsesese) [/quote][color=#000030]Ode! They pound yam with it! [/color]

[color=#000030]Id, it's Karid abi na karied. . . Bunch of Drunk idiotic kegites! Pay no heed to asthmatic fools o jare! [/color]

dayokanu:
there are several instances in the bible where it was reported God killed So isnt that a case of God taketh?

[color=#000030]No it's not. All his ways are Just! [/color]

[color=#000030]I was hoping u'd have ignored him for that dumb statement about cult! Even Crown prince is Just joking. This one don carry am for head! Smh![/color]

[color=#000030]Ok. He's a lucky chap! I hope he knows your worth! Take care & all the best! [/color]

[color=#000030]Fake Hair! [/color]

[quote author=Mr, Cork link=topic=879115.msg10267383#msg10267383 date=1330111636]  ****I AGREE.   THEY SHOULD FACE FIRING SQUAD*** [/quote]

snthesis:
u don start again wit dis ur discombololo,  
ur game is up, i'm reporting u straight to lefulefu

[color=#000030]There is a common misconception that God takes what he has given! It's not factual! God doesnt delight in people suffering. He wants everyone to repent, he makes the sun shine on the good and bad and the rain also. There is a difference btw causing an event and allowing an event to happen. . . If God allows an event to occur, did he cause it? In the case of Job, the devil raised an issue concerning on Integrity. He said that Job will lose his integrity in God if those things were taken from him. He went on further to claim that he can successfully turn all men away from God by removing God's blessing from them. The resulting casualties on Job on the eventual sickness brought upon him, were from the devil. It was all in a bid to make Job lose his integrity. Mind you, Job did not know the source of his afflictions. But he maintained that integrity to God!

Satan is a LIAR and will remain a LIAR until he is destroyed forever. He is the master deceiver, he makes bad look good. He keeps deceiving people till date. He makes people think God takes. . . It's part of his deception.   The Lord ALLOWS, Not TAKETH![/color]

[color=#000030]^^^
When people are trying to make a pointless point, they can compare even the incomparable!

What is wrong with your message boy? [/color]

snthesis:
finally we don cash u, all those big big grammar, supporting chics all d tyme, not standing by us, was jst a scam to catch NL babes

[color=#000030]Are you discombobulated? Catch NL babes? Are we playing "Catcher?"[/color]

[color=#000030]This is the kind of threads you get when chimpanzees are allowed laptop access! [/color]

[color=#000030]Your analogy is baseless! What was the worth of 40,000 Naira in the 1980's. Is it the same now? [/color]

cynthiafred67:
^^Missing more pumpkin

cynthiafred67:
Awwwww dat!!
thought I told u it was acting up? Still trying to fix it, When I do u will see more of moi I promise.

[color=#000030]Ok hunni . . . Missing you loads! [/color]

[quote author=Mrs, Chima link=topic=879115.msg10266964#msg10266964 date=1330107989]Igbo men go crazy for pretty women.  

Simmer down Killz simmer down.  Give her time.   [/quote][color=#000030]Trust me. . . I'm Simmered!  [/color]

what is microwave? is it a new fashion?
and how do you use it to cook? :oi am sure it will be like magic
here in nigeria we just put our food under the hot sun and it cooks automatically! i hope the microwave will cook faster.
and does it use kerosene? because there is kerosene scarcity and it may not work.

my landlord is a rich man and he uses charcoal to cook, i think that will make your food cook faster.

please buy me slippers when you are coming back mr cork, the ground is too hot to walk on.

yours sincerely, Kunta Kinte

ASSWIPE!

[color=#000030]^^^
You stopped coming to our secret place! [/color]

cynthiafred67:
^^Hi

[color=#000030]Hi dear! Why are you doing this to me? [/color]

[quote author=Mrs, Chima link=topic=879115.msg10266775#msg10266775 date=1330106341] [/quote][color=#000030] My fellow cultist. [/color]

[color=#000030][size=48pt]AMEN!!! [/size][/color]

[color=#000030]Typical Women

A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit, She instructed her son to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to his daddy who was on site.


After junior had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that there was a lady that picked up daddy's phone the three times he tried reaching dad on the mobile.

Women!!

She waited impatiently for her husband to return from work and upon seeing him in the driveway, she rushed out and gave him a tight slap, and she slapped him again, for good measure. People from the neighborhood rushed around to find out what the cause of the commotion was. The woman asked junior to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called.

Junior said "The subscriber you have dialed is not available at the moment. Please Try Again Later. . ." [/color]

Ammyng:
All false IMO

[color=#000030]Interesting! You mind elaborating?[/color]

[color=#000030]The Dentures

This minister just had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures were being made.

The first Sunday, he only preached ten minutes, The second Sunday, he preached only twenty minutes But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes.

When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way.

The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk.

The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot.

The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures, and I couldn't stop talking!
[/color]

[color=#000030]^^^
The curse was directed at the man that jumped outta the taxi! [/color]

[quote author=Mrs, Chima link=topic=879044.msg10266591#msg10266591 date=1330104519]You know that was funny!! "He sounded so frustrated".

Of course, you won't admit it cos you have to protect your brother. Whoopie dee doo.[/quote]
[color=#000030]It's because he was already married to you. You cant try that on an unmarried Chima! [/color]

. ;d ;d ;d

rokiatu:
6. If by any chance the girl you like, likes you too, she will let you know in about 10 years from now, when you are committed to some one else

100% true.

Source: personal experience.

[quote author=Mrs, Chima link=topic=879044.msg10266318#msg10266318 date=1330102082]You should hear my husband saying, "Are you listening to me woman? I know you hear me".

It took all I had to keep from laughing because he sounded so frustrated.  

Oh lawd here come the men running to lecture me.  Let me get ready.   [/quote]
[quote author=Mrs, Chima link=topic=879044.msg10266517#msg10266517 date=1330103908]Just for that, may she finds her way to Nairaland and reaches out to me.  Amen.    [/quote][color=#000030]Back to sender! [/color]

La Parisienne:
@Killz
Ok then. But it doesn't work on everybody. If a man goes psycological on me by ignoring me, in an attempt to make me want him more, I will delete him from my memory with the speed of light. No time for mind games. Duh

[color=#000030]It depends on the level of attraction you have for the said man! [/color]

[color=#000030]What's killz doing up there? I don't take alcohol, i only take red wine! [/color]