₦airaland Forum

I am scared of anything to do with the sky, heights, flights, some birds, you name it. I was put on earth with my feet firm on the ground, and to think that one day we could be living in space, that freaks the hell out of me.

My bad I missed that part she was joking about Denzel, retract my last post.

I thought cute guys did hang out with ugly gals to keep them as friends rather than allowing her to push the boundaries in their (relationship) I MEANT FRIENDSHIP, and so that they could meet her friends.

Guys like to pretend tey don't know they are cute, which ultimately attracts the gals as they think he is being shy and modest. (Do you get.)

This is the same for Gals. I know I personally use the friendship card when I do not want to go further wth a uy, so not to hurt his feelings. (admit it we all do it!!!)

My boyfriend is igbo and very light, when in lagos people couldnt wait to try and dupe us out of money, and him being a social person was happy to oblige them with conversation, when they heard him speaking Igbo with an english accent, they kept on calling him oyinbo, it was soo funny, he kept on getting mad.

We were at the market buying cd's, the man charged his bro 150 naira for a mix cd, but because we looked and spoke differently they tried to charge us double.

Has anyone even seen recent pictures of Janet, she has really let herself go. I mean she is big, not just big but f*t. In terms of looking after their appearance I personally think Mariah has done well.

you can forgive but you won't forget!

I would rob a bank, and then pray for my sins, nothing like going out with a bang.

This is bull if you peeps dey watch mtv cribs. When they interviewed her she clearly said she had a husbad. Not everyone wants to parade their private life in public. You should be rating her as a strong independant women not afraid of doing her own thing.

alheri:
@mycutiepie
The people(celes) that prayed for him prophesied that he would travel and it shall be well with him because of their prayers and beatings and deliverance, that nothing could go wrong with him. If they can really forsee the future, how come they didnt forsee he would be deported less than a year later?

Alheri that was exactly what I was trying to say throughout my posts at the beginning. I mean they same thing thay happened to your friend is the same thing that happened to my dear mother. They prohetised and prayed for a safe journey but they did not forsee that she would die on her return.
I mean,If Cele's prophets were as powerful as they like to believe. Why is it, they do not try to change the world for the better. I mean look at all of things that has happened in the world over the last few years. Did anyone from Cele stand up and prohetise to the world that they new this would happen or even help to change the outcome, as they soo like to believe they can do.

Please do not blame technology for the break of a relationship, it is definately the way the person uses it, in my case my ex used to give his number out to any rifraf he meet on the street, they would call all hours in the night o sorry I meant morning, and write stupid texts like:

if only 1 star would fall everytime i miss u, then all d sky in heaven wouldbe gone, Don't be amazed if there are no stars tonight, its ur fault cos u made me miss u.

Or Beautiful things happen to beautiful people with beautiful hearts in beautiful places. I pray this beautiful season addsmore beauty 2ur beautiful life.

How cheesy and sad is that. These people really have imagination.

Da gal doesnt even know him.
I used to think it was some kind of a joke, I would even help to write replies sometimes, but it gets to a stage, you have to question your relationship with the other person.
My suspicions were correct at the end of the day, if you find suspicious things on you partners phone they are definately doing the dirty.

Dear ___,

Thank you for your letter rejecting my application for employment with your firm.

I have received rejections from an unusually large number of well qualified organizations. With such a varied and promising spectrum of rejections from which to select, it is impossible for me to consider them all. After careful deliberation, then, and because a number of firms have found me more unsuitable, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your rejection.

Despite your company’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my requirements at this time. As a result, I will be starting employment with your firm on the first of the month. Circumstances change and one can never know when new demands for rejection arise. Accordingly, I will keep your letter on file in case my requirements for rejection change.

Please do not regard this letter as a criticism of your qualifications in attempting to refuse me employment. I wish you the best of luck in rejecting future candidates.

Yours Sincerely,

Three contractors were visiting a tourist attraction on the same day.

One was from Nigeria, another from Germany, and the third from France. At the end of the tour, the guard asked them what they did for a living. They all replied that they were contractors,the guard said, "Hey we need one of the rear fences redone. Why don't you guys take a look at it & give me a bid?"

So, to the back fence they all went to heck it out. First to step up was the German contractor. He took out his tape measure and pencil, did some measuring and said, "Well I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me." Next was the French contractor. He also took out his tape measure and pencil, did some quick figuring and said, "Looks like I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."

Without so much as moving, the Nigerian contractor said, $2,700." The guard, incredulous, looked at him and said, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?" "Easy," he said. "$1,000 for you, $1,000 for me and we hire the guy from France."

All hail Naija oh,

Sorry I am just curious, I have never been to a hospital in Naija, but assuming hospitals in Naija operate like Europe or USA.
Can somebody tell me what happens to those on life support machines when there is no power, because if the generator kicks in a few seconds later, after there is a power cut wouldn’t the life support machine miss a few beats. So what happens to those on life support. Wouldn’t this cause unnecessary lose of life?

A family in Nigeria was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother arrived from the USA. It had been sent by their sister.

The tiny corpse was so tightly squeezed inside the coffin that their mother's face was practically touching the glass cover.

When they opened the coffin, they found a letter from their sister pinned to their mother's chest, which read:

Dearest brothers and sisters,

I am sending you our mother's remains for burial there in Lagos.

Sorry I couldn't come along as the expenses were so high. You will find inside the coffin, under Mama's body, 12 cans of Libby's corned beef and 12 cans of Luncheon Meat. Just divide it among yourselves.

On Mama's feet is a brand-new pair of Reeboks (size for Junior. There are four pairs of Reeboks under Mama's head for Tunde's sons. Mama is wearing six Ralph Lauren T-shirts - one is for Omo, the other for Roy and the rest are for my nephews.

Mama is also wearing one dozen Wonder Bra ( your favourite), just divide it among yourselves.

The 2 dozen Victoria's Secret panties that Mama is wearing should be distributed among my nieces and cousins. Mama is also wearing eight Docker pants - Ikeje, please get one for yourself and the rest are for the boys. The Swiss watch you asked for is on Mama's left wrist, please get it.

Auntie Ronke, Mama is wearing what you asked for - earrings, ring and necklace - just please get them. Also, the six pairs of Channel stockings that Mama is wearing must be divided among the teen-age girls there. I hope they like the colour.

Your loving sister,
Bukky

P.S. Please take care of finding a dress for Mama for her burial.

A young wife, who was becoming frustrated with her young husbands
constant demands for sex, decides to make a schedule for him, to
cut down on the amount of times that they will have to make love
for the rest of their marriage.

while getting ready for work, she writes on a piece of paper,
"Honey, you know I love you, but your never ending requests for sex
are leaving me drained and really tired. So I propose that we only
have sex on days that start with the letter 'T', to minimise the
frequency of our lovemaking sessions. Don't be mad at me honey,
just understand where I am coming from, and let me know if my request is
too demanding of you." On her way out the door, she uses a refrigerator magnet and sticks
the note to the fridge door, hoping that her sex craved husband
will be understanding and accepting of her proposal when he reads it.

Upon returning home, she glances at the refrigerator and notices
that her note has been replaced with a note from her husband that reads,
"Baby, I didn't' realise that I was putting you under so much pressure and I'm sorry.

I accept your proposal and have even taken the extra step of
listing at the bottom of this letter, those days starting with the
letter 'T' to make sure that we are on the same page.

1. TUESDAY

2. THURSDAY

3. TODAY

4. TOMORROW

P.S. I love you too, and remember it's still TODAY, I am waiting for you upstairs." 

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.

Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.
She figured she would break him of this crazy habit.
So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming,
romantic session, she turned on the lights.
She looked down ,  and saw her husband was holding a battery
operated pleasure device,  a vibrator ,  soft, wonderful and
larger than a real one.
She goes completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," she
screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You
better explain yourself!"
He looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain
the
toy,  if you explain the kids."
_________

Parity and Logic

doshbass:
@Kiwibabe
what has that site got to do with Cele and this forum

It is a Web support group for people who have left the Churches of Christ like that of Cele,

YOU PEOPLE DEY SCARE ME OOO, I never realised how soo much strong opinions could contradict each other, I am not slagging off cele and all of those cele-brities out there but come on. Aren't we supposed  to be worshipping the Lord up High rather than abusing a very respectable religion. I feel with the regular parties and harvests etc the Churches have become more of a social event rather than a place for worship. Come on in the London alone there is far over 50 churches (some right next door to each other, and even in the same building) all with individual harvest dates over the year. That’s a social event or two a week, just to satisfy peoples big ego’s. Shouldn’t they try and join together to combine their teachings and make the churches unified rather than divided. And there is soo many different teaches that go on in each church, No noe ever preaches the same thing.
I have found a definition of what I feel describes how I see all churches that do not satisfy my belief in my faith and practice apostasy false doctrine. This is called:

Spiritual Abuse
SPEAR-itch-you-all uh-BUSE: noun, 1) a religion that leaves you feeling discouraged and trapped. 2) manipulation, done in the name of God and love, resulting in feeling torn, shamed, and enraged.

I am not entirely for CELE but I am not against I am a neutral Party, I am just expressing my opinion. We are all entitled to our opinions  I am not saying that what is right for me, is right for someone else.

I have found a support group for ex-members of churches of Christ. Check it out: www.ex-churchofchrist.org . It may put some prospective on everyones outlook of churches and religion. Lol 

If  TERRENCE Howard or Denzel Washington was in the place. I would enslave them, Lock them up, rape them, they would DEFINATELY become my sex slaves.

So my answer is: (a) Oh my God, YES,: I would have sex with them, we only live once. PORWER TO THE PEOPLE!!! 

:DI can relate to all of the things mentioned in this thread, I remember one day I lied about taking (stealing) something from my mother, an she went to the shepherd and asked him to reveal who the culprit was, he told her that it was my aunt even though I knew it was me. Because of the warning in which the Shepherd gave my mother, to stay away from my dangerous aunt who apparently was out to destroy her, my mother and my aunt no longer spoke to each other.

Does that show signs of a prayerful/spiritual leader.
To be honest I am tired of all churches not just Cele, especially those that try to recruit you into their mists (congregation). I would rather worship the Lord in the safe facility of my home.

CCC in many respects is just like Cherubim and Seraphim, and KICC. My opinion is they are  all money making places and are no good. Please in the UK if you see the amount of BLACK African churches which have sprung up from nowhere claiming that they are holier than the other.
Worship with us, and you will receive anything in which you require, be it a husband, a business, money, power, respect.
People forget that they have to help themselves before others can help them. I tell you I should go and set my own church if only that I should collect the regular income in which a church generates. 

Then what about the infedelity the leaders practice, it is one rule for them and another for everybody else.

All that you are saying is very true, I used to attend Cele religiously, down in the UK, everything that was prophesised to me I would believe, until the day my mother died, she regularly traveled abroad, she went away for the weekend to Italy, and the day she returned from her travels, that night she died, you see before she had gone on her travels she went to the shepherd of our church and asked him to pray for her for safe return, if indeed he was such a powerful leader he would have forseen that my mother would pass away, (I mean she was in good health and was still very young). When it did happen instead of giving our family the(emotional) support of the church in the way that she buried etc, they disengaged themselves from us, all they did was gossip to others about our misfortune and make out that we were not as spiritual as others were, and then the female members (most of whom were my mothers good friends), could not wait to get their claws into my Dad.
They also prophesised to not to travel to nigeria which I followed religiously until my early 20's because I had the fear of what may happen to me, the day I eventually went without telling anybody, and returned safely.
I knew from this that there was something clearly wrong with the church.

Please, does anybody else have any bad experiences with Cele?

You can listen and watch both african music and videos on this website: http://www.krazienaija.com/index.html

As part of my cultural experience I am about to do a student exchange at HES Amsterdam, but I don't know anthing about Amsterdam, or even Netherlands.
Has anyone ever been there?
What is the place like?
Has anyone ever studied at any of their Universities?
What are the teaching standards like?
What about the living conditions and costs?
What about the social life?
And more to the point is there many Nigerians there.


Any feedback would be really appreciated.

Does anybody know how much price of land is in Apapa. I would be very greatful for your feedback

Or indeed is there land in this area not occupied.

It is easy for you to say, I am tired of men, I have spent two years with this guy, in march it will be three yeARS, i RECENTLY WENT ON HOLIDAY WITH THIS GUY ONLY TO FIND THAT HE HAS HAD A GIRLFRIEND FOR THE LAST OFUR YEARS IN NIGERIA, AND SHE IS WAITING FOR HIM TO RETURN SO THAT THEY CAN GET MARRIED NOW GIVE ME A GUD REASON WHY I SHOULDN'T BURN HIS S==T

I will be burining all my ex's belongings along with ,my friends

Good times - going out like this friday virgos, old kent road, its going to be off the hook,
Bad things- its like your doing the same old thing, its like you do something once, you've done it a 1000 times, you get me. Nothings really going on, you wake up, go to work, or study, you go home, you watch tv, eat, sleep, and then its time for another day, this countries wack,