₦airaland Forum

immortalcrown:
✓ Can you quote any law that says that consent to sex in marriage is not one-time and given at the beginning of the marriage?
Also, show me where the constitution says that a man can do to his wife something that can be legally or religiously interpreted as rape.
Answer these questions or remain a liar.

Nothing in the details of the marriage laws in Nigeria strips a human being of his UN Universal Right to bodily autonomy. Instead of looking for a law that suggests that consent to sex in marriage is not one-time and given at the beginning of marriage, you should be looking to finding where in your marriage laws that it is stated that consent to sex is automatically granted in marriage or that bodily autonomy is lost in the event of marriage. 🥱🥱🥱

What you describe as sex being automatically granted in marriage is actually parcelled as part of the marriage culture of the Northern sharia laws where explicitly stated that a husband cannot found guilty of raping his wife. 🥱🥱

Forgive me for not realizing before now that you are also a muslim bound to sharia law which actually approves of Muslim men raping their wives without consequence. 🤐🤐🤐🤐

It does? Yet, every Christian out there is either trying to please their pastor, other Christians, or put up a facade that projects this image of having attained the success expected of a Christian. Abegi! 🥱🥱🥱

bmd1010:
This is just up to a short debate or just your opinion, no need for insult.
2. But i for one don't think its should be called rape, same way there are different kind of murder, and it seem to be a one sided situation, d wife cries rape and the husband cries what?? Or wait we hardly or can't remember hearing the case of a man getting raped by the wife.
3. Am just saying wat i feel, feel free to say urs

A woman is a human being, complete with bodily autonomy until even after her death. According to Merriam Webster, Rape is unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against a person's will or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent because of mental illness, mental deficiency, intoxication, unconsciousness, or deception. 😕

2. Note that the term used is the same regardless of how the rapist was able to take advantage of the victim forcibly. 😕

3. Would you feel the same way if it had been your mother, sister, or maybe even your own daughter who came to you with their experience? 😕😕

---

What do Nigerian laws say about rape? See below!

Expanse2020:
Islam wasn't built to oppressed humanity or woman it's only hypocrisy of west and their propaganda.....
Your religion (Christianity) is more oppressed woman and humanity than islam

Islam is exactly that, designed by a war mongering man you lot called a prophet who did not hold back from everyone of his hedonistic desires as a tool to conquer the nations and peoples with. That is what that book literally says. 🥱🥱

Christianity isn't mine since I don't subscribe to any religion. Your particular issues with your fellow religionists have nothing to do with me, except you keep hoping to make it so in ignorance and arrogance that is common among you religionists.

And no,no religion detests women as much as Islam does. And no religion gives charge over other humans to even imbe--ciles like Islam does. 🥱🥱

Expanse2020:
T Christianity is a really funny religion 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

The same applies to islam, only that has turned out a more devastating religion than Christianity. Islam is a religion built to oppress not only women but all of humanity.

Nnamdipapa:
✓ It's legal to take pictures in public na. I will take your pictures if I ever find you in a public space.

No, it ain't a public place but a private establishment. If say dem be politicians, you go talk that samr thing?

Whatever is happening between those two, we don't really know since you did not ask but merely took a full view image of the girl and decided to run with the tales in your head afterwards. Make we dey try to put ourselves into the shoes of others, abeg!

Nnamdipapa:
✓ Here’s my truth:
If I take you out and you stay glued to your phone, that relationship is already over. I’m not competing with Instagram or WhatsApp notifications. If this is your habit, stop it. It slowly kills romance more than people realize.
Put the phone down. Look at your partner. Enjoy the moment. Real connection still matters.

Both of them happen to be glued to their screens so wetin be your own? They could be playing the same game or chatting...but the main be say wetin be your own? You carry picture of two strangers , without permission, post online to say what...that they must reason it all as you do? 🥱🥱

I am pissed that you actually took photos of the two unblurred. --- the gal is in full view too---, and posted it online without permission. Please take it down. If say na you, you go like am? 🥱🥱

Umimi7:
✓ Hi House,
Please I need both Christians and Muslims to judge D's matter...
In my area 200unit, Lokoja, Kogi State. Dere is a guy dt is a Christian dt is bothering me for marriage, the problem is 1. Am a Muslim 2). Am a married woman 3). I hate D's fool
The boy was convinced by his pastor, n since den six years now, d guy has refused to stay away from me, I tot he has mental problem DTS why I didn't bother too much bt please D's is getting disgusting. He is still not married at 40years and dere are many single Christian ladies in Deir 30's looking for husband he refused to marry dem, he is a fanatic and is hoping one day aw follow him to church lol, please is D's appropriate and he is so desparate and refuses to sit down n think of his life. Religion can really be manipulative, an end time pastor has put D's guy on a path of self destruction......

What is this? If you feel he is harassing you, then report him to the police or file a restraining order against him and move on.

You and that man --- every human being out there -- have the same rights -- UN Universal Human Rights --- and no individual has the right to force/assault/abuse another. So, if you are ready to treat yourself as a human being, then do the right thing for yourself.

If you are attempting to make this a religious issue, know that this behavior is not uncommon among both Muslims and Christians. People from both religions are known to disrespect the individual rights of others whom they convince themselves, in their heads, that they are above in their delusions.

helinues:
Hope it's love not lust All the best though

He is literally telling you he is using her; what has love got to do with that? 🥱🥱

Lovit:
✓ I knew what you have been driving at all along, but I am not ready for such arguments
If everyone leaves a marriage just because a partner shouts at them or at the slightest argument, then no one would be married beyond one week, it takes time for two people from different background to live together and understand themselves full[/b]y,
✓ I am married for over 10 years [b]and I understand all these. Those couples you see celebrating decades of married life, they have countless bitter - sweet stories to tell.
✓ If you listen to GENZ relationship coaches and feminists to run your marriage, I pity you
✓ Well, that said, no one should stay in an abusive marriage, whether man or woman, but before you leave make sure you are not the problem.

1. An emotionally intelligent individual knows two things:

a. Quarrels and conflict are normal when two humans are in a relationship. Children quarrel with their parents and vice versa. There is nothing unhealthy about conflict between humans.

b. Abuse and manipulation are unhealthy no matter the relationship kind, and should never be minimized to make them appear as healthy conflict. Also, abusers go to lengths to gaslight their victims into doubting the abuse or manipulation they are experiencing.

2. I seriously doubt it. Also, longevity is not measure of how abuse free or happy or successful a marriage is.

3. Fortunately for you, this has nothing to do with Genz, but mostly women from the older generations- mothers, grandmothers and great grandmothers finally speaking up. Many of them have, en masses, come out with their stories.

There are 10000s of video blogs online today of grandmothers, mothers, etc., some married to abusers for longer than 30/40/50 years and above. Some only got back their voice only after the death of their husbands. Many of these women have told stories as a way to warn others including the current generation of women who may already be in such relationships or are about to of how utterly worthless and degrading such marriages are.

4. Abuse and manipulation is utterly unacceptable and everyone should normalize walking out on the first sign because it is a never ending cycle that should not be condoned by anyone looking to living the best life possible.

ChizzyBuna:
✓ So at your age you still follow your mother up and down like house girl??

Since you still do not know how to disciplines yourself, organize your thoughts and center your mind around har which should matter more as an adult, it means you need to get retraining in that area. Usually , children learn these skills while growing up through their mothers and/or fathers. Alternatively, psychologists/psychiatrists and therapists are out there to help you develop those missing skills. There is no reason to be ashamed of having to go back to the basics to learn what you were not able to fully grasp from your mother. Unless you are ashamed of her.

It is foolish, as an adult, to believe it ok for you to burden other adults with your developmental lack.

ChizzyBuna:
If you struggling to quit betting.
You need to find a girl to keep busy on Saturday and Sunday.
That way you save money than wasting it in betting

Better yet, go get therapy from your mother or a professional mental health counselor. Using women in the way you describe, as replacements for your mother's or professional therapist, is one of the many reasons why many of them no longer rate you lot. 🤔🤔🤔

greypencils:
I have got no issues to discuss with you.

Awon godlier-than-the-masters-who-brought-the-religion-they-are-now-addicted-to. 🥱🥱🥱

greypencils:
➜My wife earns more than 10 times what I earn. We are still married, 7 years and counting.
We won't be if we were outside Nigeria based on the quarrels we have had. This is where religion comes in. In a godless land like the UK, anything goes.

The people who literally gave you religion as part of a slave package are godless, while you, the brainwashed slave, are god-ful, abi? You know your marriage is hanging on a thread that will break the moment you both step onto saner shores because of the many quarrels you both have had, and somehow, that it is because you are godlier than the UK?

funsho75:
➜You think it's financial independence that make women divorce in US, UK... I don't think so, I think it is because divorce benefit women. If there is no benefit for women in divorce and a level playing field for both parties... U go see d level of divorce reduce..

Well, yes, there is also freedom from offering her labor for free to a man who financially abuses her is one of the potential benefits of divorce for many Nigerian women in the UK. It is not so much that they gain anything from the divorce in terms of property or alimony, but that by freeing themselves from that former vain labor, they could offer up that same labor elsewhere and receive a lot better compensation at the end of the day for it.

HeatSeeker:
✓ GOD is not a finite being that can be quantified by any known means available to the human mind.
✓ If I answer this question holistically, you will be discombobulated . Just know that GOD is one

1. You described your God as such. So? 🥱🥱🥱

2. I doubt you can achieve that given what you have unloaded this far.

Lovit:
✓ Thank you, we both said the same thing
EI also helps a woman or man to leave a toxic relationship after they have done all they could to save it

Emotionally intelligent people leave the moment they detect or smell toxicity... no, no such thing as doing all they could to save it. What you described there applies to people with a Messiah/Savior complex...not emotionally intelligent beings.

always247:
and women really allow it?

if the man is paying the right price, why not? 🥱🥱🥱

ATTAHDYE:
Have you seen a male dog mating with a male dog before?

Are human beings dogs? 🥱🥱🥱

piagetskinner:
✓ You don’t end up in jail for a crime you’ve never committed. Who was your primary school teacher? A simple question was asked… if you couldn’t respond like an educated adult which I doubt, you could have ignored.

Go ask all those Nigerians for UK wey dey Jail whether they committed those crimes or not. 🥱🥱

ccollins:
✓ stop encouraging wickedness online.The Holy Bible of God does not support divorce except on ground of adultery. Marriage is a vow before God that must be kept till death sir

So, all of the wickedness and abuse people endure in these marriages are sanctioned by your god? Basically,what you are saying is that your holy god sanctions wickedness that is carried out in marriages by one partner or the other? 🤐🤐🤐

always247:
what is BDSM

Porn sort of sex... Bondage, dominance, submission, sadism, masochism...

Albertone:
➜The fear is in this kind of scenario where the wife starts contributing financially, she stops seeing the husband as the head. The husband loses all forms of authority and she withdraws submission.
In my opinion, this fear is very valid as many women are like that.

Why should a woman who pays the bills consider a man her head or submit to him when that benefit was only available to him by the traditional marriage contract that requires he alone bear the full financial provider role in the marriage?

When a marriage no longer conforms to the former contract, common sense dictates that both individuals in the agreement ought also adopt to the terms and conditions of the new contract instead. A man should rightly lose his former head/submission-froom-his-woman related benefits the moment he ceases to be the full-time provider. Fears associated with the loss are invalid!🥱🥱

ibedun:
➜The emboldened is just pure nature. As we all know nature can be quite brutal.
In today’s climate there is absolutely no reason for any man to “enter” a marriage. It serves him NO purpose. I guess humanity is starting to evolve beyond marriage and that’s ok. Afterall the global population is heading towards unsustainability.

Bullsheet! Does a man come married to a woman from his mother's womb?

I am not in the mood for the meaningless rants today. Try your luck another day, abeg!

naturefellow:
➜Low self-esteem is not the only reason people stay in abusive situations. Critically consider other possible factors, before you publicly attack opposing perspectives. You'd get to learn new things too

I never suggested that low self-esteem is the only reason why individuals remain in abusive situations. I unequivocally stated, however, that no individual out there — woman or man — with a healthy self-esteem would remain or cling to such a relationship.

ibedun:
➜This is the crux of the matter. Any man who gets married under the current tradition (the law, environment, and today’s female orientation inclusive) is a big FOOL. He has absolutely nothing to gain.

Traditional marriage — more or less a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship masked as marriage— benefits men and not women. In the case of dissolution, the woman cannot claim anything from the union, and most men would rather abandon the children along with the woman when that is done. All this while the man gains access to a woman(her body) and her emotional, mental, and physical labor for next to free for the rest of her life, if he chooses to keep her.

naturefellow:
great essay! However, it does not discredit my opinion.

It does! But I doubt you care you see it!

InsteadOf:
➜How Is The Inability For A Woman To Leave Marriage In Nigeria "A Problem" ?

No human being should hang on tightly to that which serves them only misery and heartache and nothing of individual happiness and fulfilment.

Idaytesj29:
➜Yeah but these women got nothing in return from their spouses right?

Well, list some of the tangible benefits of traditional marriage to the woman.

Albertone:
➜Everything you said here has to be sarcastic if not, you’re grossly uninformed. Of what use is freezing of sperm(only heard of freezing eggs) when a man’s body produces fresh sperm when needed?

Beginning from as early as age 30, the male sperm DNA begins to degrade. Hence, the reason for suggesting that sperm be frozen early. If you are not informed as to the reason, I suggest you make Google your friend.

Albertone:
➜Has traditional marriage not made men slave too by working so hard for money they barely have to themselves?

The free benefits that a man gains from being married. For the average married Nigerian man, marriage provides him with his personal housemaid/chef/nanny/sex-worker/laundry woman/therapist/assistant/house manager, etc.— all of this out of a woman desperate to cling to the Mrs badge from which she finds her worth — all at a cost that is next to free when compared to the market value. It is not easy to give all of that up, even when he has sidechicks who he knows can leave him at the drop of a kobo.

The traditional marriage contract is rather a slave contract by which low-level men enslave desperate women for their own benefit. The system forces financial abuse on these women by ensuring they are never adequately compensated for all of the invisible labor they put into maintaining and propping up those relationships.

Host78:
➜so what keeps the Nigerian man in marriage despite the laws favoring him divorcing and yet can't keep the Nigerian woman in the UK once the law favours her divorce?

The free benefits that a man gains from being married. For the average married Nigerian man, marriage provides him with his personal housemaid/chef/nanny/sex-worker/laundry woman/therapist/assistant/house manager, etc.— all of this out of a woman desperate to cling to the Mrs badge from which she finds her worth — all at a cost that is next to free when compared to the market value. It is not easy to give all of that up, even when he has sidechicks who he knows can leave him at the drop of a kobo.