₦airaland Forum

brain54:
➜By the daughter and her parents/family...
➜ You should respect your partner by setting boundaries not yourself alone. If you care about only yourself then remain single!

1. They didn't set any such boundary, as is apparent from OP's reveal.

2. Did OP state that his wife does not respect him? Why assume disrespect when OP clearly did not state that he was disrespected by his wife in any of this?

brain54:
➜They are boundaries to things kobo... Or there should. Friendships should also have limits!

Boundaries set by whom? OP? The Parents? The daughter? For whom?

You can only set boundaries for yourself in a relationship, not for others, though.

Feisu:
I would have been worried. Buy the guy and his family are currently in another country.

So, you are jealous that a man who lives in another country still gives gifts to the parents of his ex, who happens to be your wife?

brain54:
➜People ought to have discipline and principles... Why would anyone be collecting money from their ex when they are married. It's insulting to the present husband/wife. Money isn't everything!

Are they collecting it from him because he is her ex or because they have grown to appreciate the friendship they have with him, even though he is no longer with their daughter?

To put it another way, did OP have to buy his wife from her parents so that OP would now feel threatened by this man giving money to those same parents?

Feisu:
➜I'm sure he still has feelings for my wife and she's feigning ignorance.
➜ If she and her family are comfortable receiving monetary and other forms of gift from another man, don't you think I should be worried.

He may have feelings for your wife, so what? He has a wife of his own, and your wife is married to you. Are you looking to create the opportunity for him to get at your wife then?

2. You are not making any sense. Are her parents trying to take her from you and then give her to him instead? Is that what you reason they could be doing by their actions and friendship with the man?

Feisu:
➜My wife still keeps contact with her married ex. She says they parted peacefully so they are still friends. I didn't have an issue with it. But I recently found out he sends money and gifts to my inlaws and they are all so happy with that. Even celebrating this in my presence and saying I shouldn't be jealous or anything because their daughter knows she's married and their relationship was in the past.
This doesn't sit well with me. I also know for a fact that my parents wouldn't accept unsolicited gifts from my ex or that of my siblings.

Does the man in question directly threaten you or your wife? Does his sending money to her parents somehow threaten your ability to relate to them or send them gifts? What exactly is the problem here? Let us know!

Solofresh2:
➜It's normal.We are humans but let me make something clear to you. That feelings you have for that person will die with time so you have to be very logical when dealing with things like this as a man.
➜ You should be going for someone who loves you not someone you love.
➜ The reason is because the person who loves you will do anything to protect you and make you happy as a man. You will always value respect as a man.The lady who doesn't love you will hardly respect you.

That feeling someone else has for you will also die with time. Are you conveniently ignoring this fact?

2. Settling for someone you don't love because the person loves you will always backfire. It did with our grandfathers and grandmothers, our fathers and mothers, and continues the same to this day. It never ends well for people in those sorts of relationships.

3. Someone who gives and gives and gives of themselves without even getting back the bare minimum in return — you can't give love to a person you do not love — will eventually reach their limit. And when that limit is reached...

press9jatv:
➜Men celebrating their Wives in a Couples banquet in church. Omo!
➜ See as single people dey seriously press their phone 😭

This one wey e don reach this level, you go know say marriages are in serious trouble.

2. So, because their significant other decided not to show up for the pretend grovel-fest/parade means they must be single? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
How many people show up to banquets specifically organized for those who are coupled? Nonsense!

NOETHNICITY:
➜So while strictly following Jesus Christ teachings as disciples they still had Satan as their father?
➜And you still don’t see the contradiction here? Now clap for yourself! And I can see you are fast getting emotional and triggered. Knew it would only be a matter of time

1. You did not bother reading up about Jesus Christ of Israel, whom you pretend you can speak for here, did you?

2. Are you OK in the head at all?

NOETHNICITY:
➜And when I ask for a single example the answer eludes you, pointing to the fact that you are lying to yourself which is the worse form of self delusion

Even though I very first comment to you on this thread includes the list I refer to? I see!

NOETHNICITY:
➜Was the person who betrayed him a disciple? Yes or no? Also, Jesus Christ said that on that day, many who called him lord lord and claim to have cast out demons in his name, will be rejected and denied.
➜ Now do you spot the real contradiction.

1. Yes, the one who betrayed Jesus Christ of Israel — the one whom Jesus Christ of Israel made clear belonged to the devil from the moment he was chosen by him — was tagged as a disciple; however, absolutely NO definition of the term "Disciple", as given by Jesus Christ of Israel, suggested that those who are His disciples could never betray Jesus Christ of Israel or have the devil as their father like Judas did.

2. Please look up the meaning and application of the term Contradiction before you continue this foolish line of argument.

NOETHNICITY:
An examples?

My list there included a couple of the Islamic nations where oneness, either in belief or purpose, is literally a mythical idea.

NOETHNICITY:
➜Knew you wouldn’t get it. Now try to follow. You yapped about contradiction because some Muslims derail from the teachings requiring oneness.
➜So I decided to follow your logic. “A disciple is anyone who sincerely follows and practices the teachings of their spiritual guide or prophet” Someone called a disciple who betrayed and sold out his teacher is a contradiction—going by your logic.

1. Some mohammedians derail? We are talking here of entire nations ruled by terrorists in the name of mohammed, and you are busy trying to trip me with tales of some mohammedians derailing? Are you sure you are OK?

How can oneness — the idea of being unified in belief and stance — be said to be achieved when the same people referred to are busy killing themselves at all levels of the strata?

2. But your logic falls flat for two major reasons here...

a) Jesus Christ of Israel is NEVER gave religion to any of His followers/people — all of whom are Israelites according to Him
b) Jesus Christ of Israel made it abundantly clear that the one disciple who belonged to the devil would betray Him

You cannot make a point using that which does not align with or even follow in any way with whatever ideas you are working with there.

NOETHNICITY:
➜I can see that the result from the research that Muslims are happier than other religions triggered you the wrong way.
➜ Jesus had 12 disciples (only 12), and got sold out by one of the 12. Did you notice the contradiction here?

You religious goons never really know the correct application of terms, do you? 🥱🥱

Revealing that real-world situations/facts do not align with claims made regarding the oneness of mohammedians DOES NOT constitute a triggering. A fact is a fact!

2. Again, try to figure out the meaning of a word before you use it.

con·tra·dic·tion

a combination of statements, ideas, or features of a situation that are opposed to one another.

Jesus Christ of Israel's(nothing to do with the religion of Christianity) having of 12 disciples DOES NOT stand in contradiction of the fact that 1 of said disciples eventually betrayed him.

NOETHNICITY:
➜You were expecting a world where no Muslim would ever hurt another Muslim?
➜ Unfortunately, some people are destined to derail. Do you see how I’m careful responding to your questions without getting emotional or resorting to insults?

So, what you are saying here then is that even the happiest people are prone to killing each other off?

2. Oh wait! You mean the mohammedians out there killing themselves and other mohammedians are not really mohammedians? This as determined by you?

Religion indeed has its basis in contradictions! 😏😏

Unclebayo:
but what if the lady that loves you isn’t so attractive?

Why would you want to date or marry someone you are not attracted to? Why not go find someone else you love and are attracted to, and who also loves you back? Why do you feel you need to make an issue out of what is clearly a non-issue?

If you like a lady but she does not like you back, do you think it would make sense for her to force herself into liking you in return? Hopefully, your answer should be a NO! Why then would you think you should like this gal simply because she likes you?

NOETHNICITY:
➜Ohh! I get! You were expecting a world where 2 billion Muslims would all be saints. I get!

Saints? What does this supposed oneness amongst mohammedians have to do with sainthood?

Vinnie2000:
➜Question to ask her is Can you use N500 to cook soup or make Tasty Jollof rice?

That's a very stewpid question.

brain54:
➜What if she tells you what to hear...30 minutes of intense lies!

Religious folks out there, driven by their many fears and anxieties, are ever seeking ways to delude and deceive themselves as well as others into running away from and confronting reality.

NOETHNICITY:
Let’s analyze what happened or is happening in the above mentioned countries one after another ....
Do you want us to touch on other Muslim majority countries? Like Qatar, Saudi, Kuwait, UAE etc?

Everybody else to blame when muslims kill muslims too? Clearly, the concept of [i]oneness [/i]among the mohammedians goes beyond even they are capable of understanding, let alone realizing. 🥱🥱🥱

Hypnotise:
➜You are definitely right for the most part, but other factors come into play. For example, majority of white women don’t just leave their fellow caucasian and go for black men,
➜ they go for those with the very best physique i.e Tall, muscular or sexy.
➜ If a man leaves Nigeria with the wrong impression that all white women love black men (very wrong) or doesn’t understand that you need to become sexier, the man no go see opueh oo.
➜ Even if a man is not proud, and is humble like humble smith, if them no find am attractive, it’s still a no or them go leave am.

1. I disagree! Women who date outside of their race don't do it because they have to leave their race or are trying to prove a moot point to people of their own race. Many times, they do it simply because they want to be loved and accepted by whoever is willing to love and accept them.

2. No woman on earth wants to be married to a man who looks like Toromogbe! Women desire to be with the best man possible, and if the man is willing to put in the work to get the girl he wants, then that is how it goes.

3. That is the man's personal issue and has nothing to do with women — white, black, or blue! .

4. That again is the man's personal issue.

Preciousgirl:
➜What kind of experience is it if you feel a "pepper" sensation on parts of your body after prayers?
Or like a hot balm has been robbed on that part of your body? Kindly link it up with scriptural references Thanks God bless you

Pepper sensation on skin? Your sensors are sensing some sort of pain, which might be linked to dry skin or exposed skin. It has absolutely nothing to do with your god-things or your prayers.

Did you scrape or scratch yourself in this region? Are you wearing clothing that may have caused some sort of abrasion on the part of skin involved? Apply vaseline or ointment on the area at least. And try to pay better attention to the details of what happened next time you notice that same sensation.

NOETHNICITY:
➜The secret behind this is that Muslims naturally find comfort and strength in their faith whenever they face life’s toughest challenges. We believe that everything is a test from our Creator, and we accept each trial as part of our destiny—trusting Allah to make things easier in His own time.
This is why, even as Palestinians endure one of the worst genocides in modern history—a tragedy spanning over 75 years—they still say Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah — All praise be to God.
You can kill a Muslim, pull down his house, tear down their mosques, starve them, deny them water and electricity and everything. But you can never ever kill their spirit and their faith in their God

Somalia, Afghanistan, Nigeria, Pakistan, Iraq, Iran, Egypt, etc., are all testaments to this oneness among the religious zealots of Mohammed, right?

goran3310:
➜ Because you’re stupid. It’s your ego. You’re letting your ego control you. If the girl who truly loves you isn’t extremely unattractive, then there’s absolutely no reason to reject her and chase after someone else — someone with whom, I guarantee you, you’ll never be happy, even if she agrees to be with you. Take my words very seriously.

Nonsense and eegridient! Are you sure you are OK?

OP will never be happy with a girl he settles for. Nobody out there ever is. F-k all those tales by moonlight stories your ancestors fed you about how you should marry a woman who loves you more than you love her. The fact and reality of things is that such unions never work for the happiness of those who make such compromises. If you are not the one in love with your partner, you will never find happiness in that union, try as you may.

Unclebayo:
➜Hey guys… Why did we always go with the girls that don’t care about us and leave the ones that has pure heart for us.
A man sent 250k to a lady and she replied with seen and same man sent launch to another lady and the girl wrote a long epistles thanking him and appreciating the love.. But guess what the man will still go with the one that wrote seen..
➜ I’m currently in the show that’s why I don’t blame him… I know a girl that loves me so much but I don’t have feelings for her and I still don’t knows why, this girl can do anything for me to survive Yet I’m not even replying her messages. Why ? 😢

1. Sigh! You folks and fixating on the meaningless things needs to be studied.

There is nothing wrong with the gal who responded with "seen", nor does it mean there is something special with the girl who thanked the man by way of an epistle. Since you are not the man, know that there is an entire context that you may be missing from that story that may be of importance to how he interprets it all.

2. A girl loves you, yet you feel nothing for her. That is absolutely OK and commonplace. Unrequited love is as old as love itself. There is no rule that one must love someone who loves them back. If you appreciate her, be honest with her about how you don't have any love for her, so she can go work on that obsessive energy somewhere else. Simple!

Zackattack:
. The post didn’t say they ain’t happy in the marriage. It was about, what to do when one finds a better partner after marriage.
✓ You seem to be very happy to see marriage end. It’s not the first time I’ve read your pro divorce comment. It’s just despicable!

It is impossible to be happy in a place where your heart isn't in. It is impossible to be happy in with person A while your heart pines and longs instead for person B. Men have always known this; Women are mostly the ones who are brainwashed from childhood into thinking they can squeeze water from stone -- convert an impossibility in to possible through pretence. All those who have tried it end up living corpses

2. Happiness cannot be faked. Pretend all you want, but you will never get your emotional indicator to point towards happiness, try as you might. It is impossible to achieve happiness without, in fact, having your heart and your head at least pointing in the same direction, no matter the eventual outcome.

Yoighaman:
✓ I'll like to know what exactly your points in these scenarios are, because these are deep situations which happens in real life... sincerely asking. Thanks.

I was told that in the case of unequally yoked individuals among the Christians, a different rule applies, so I am simply trying to ascertain how Christians go about determining their unequally yoked folks from those who are when in reality the pattern among Christians is no different from that of those altogether outside of religious circles. 🥱🥱

SamuraiXXX:
They should also come up with a punishment for women who make false claims of rape!

Penalities for such have been a part of the criminal code for at least the last 40 years.

Tayorshd87:
➜What about if there is only one child 🤔 What can I do please 🥺

Shared/joint custody exists to allow a man and a woman to both parent the child they had with each other.

Amarachieze:
➜Religion is a personal thing so it is not my wish to engage you on it.
➜If you're an atheist who doesn't believe in existence of God it is your personal business. don't kill yourself for the foolishness of our Faith in Jesus. We know that it is foolishness to you but it is the power of God unto salvation for those of us who believe. Have a goodnight
Bye

1. Religion is a personal thing, yet less than 3 comments ago, you openly declared two religious people are not believers, as they each personally claim. Do you see yet another contradictory evidence to many of your claims regarding religion?

2. This thread isn't about me and your assumptions regarding my stance as far as religion. You tried to bring religion into the debate, and I simply gave you two religious angles to provide clarifications on.

Amarachieze:
➜Well I would not like to delve into your (personal) negative perception of religion and Christianity in particular.
➜ However it seems to me that you think anybody that goes to church or claimed to be a pastor is truly a born again christian. Nothing is further from the truth than that notion
➜ In the two scenarios you mentioned none of them is even a believer not talk of being unequally yoked.
➜ Nevertheless, it is important for you to know that unequally yoked as recorded in bible is a marriage principle that applies to Christians and non Christians alike. It is warning not to entagle oneself with partners of different of different ideals, beliefs and world-views because you are bound to have conflicts in such relationships be it marriage, friendship or business. Can you imagine me and you living as husband and wife. My faith will definitely conflict with your Freemason ideals. This is unequally yoked.

1. This isn't unique to Christianity as the same patterns are observed across all religions. You mentioned Christianity, and that is the primary reason for the focus.

2. People who embrace religion, including Christianity, have shown themselves, time and time again, to be no different from those who have no religion or even abhor it altogether. The scenarios I painted there are the typical examples of Christian marriages out there; nothing more.


3. They are not; not only do the men in both cases claim to be, but those around them even vouch for their claims in that they extol them as being indeed what they claim.

This wuru-wuru logic religious always tends to put forward na wetin dem dey call brain-damaged. Na una go tell people say all they have to do is confess their sins and accept Cheezuss.. all for mouth... to be saved and born-again. Una go even call them up to congratulate them, say dem don born-again right after una pastas pray finish. Next thing, na the same una go come dey tell us say this one dey but this other one no dey. Where una really stand if not for confusion for Pete's sake?

4. It applies to all Christians, yet only a statement ago, you declared that none of the above-mentioned are qualified to even be Christians? Remember, I had indicated earlier that I wished you to provide STRAIGHTFORWARD RESPONSES... none of this wuru? 😩😩😩😩

Both scenarios present individuals who attended the same church under the same denomination. 😩😩😩😩

Amarachieze:
➜This is what I have been saying. The term doesnt apply. The OP was just regretting marrying someone that is not compatible. Those of us in religious circle especially Christians refer to such union as being unequally yoked So if he divorces the incompatible and marries a compatible one it doesn't mean the second is the original wife

. Here are two straightforward scenarios for you to analyze and give straightforward answers in response to. 🤔

Scenario A: A pastor married a wife, and after about 5 years of what seemed a loveless union, decided he had found love with another woman — he fell out of love with his wife almost immediately after the marriage. It started with him emotionally cheating on his wife.(He was a pastor with a sleek tongue, so he could explain away even the most awkward of moments with ease.)Eventually, he tagged his wife as a bad woman, and began heaping blame on her in attempts to create a reason for his eventual divorce/abandonment of her and the children she had for him. All this so he could eventually make room for the new woman to come into his life. 😐

Scenario B: A brother-in-the-lord who had been born-again for over 10 years. He fell in love with another lady, but the woman he desired wanted nothing to do with him. She was also in the church, but her eyes were on another man. She later married that other man and had a child with him. Fast forward 3 years, our brother-in-the-lord finally saw himself seeing what he referred to as visions of another woman whom he believed his lord had chosen for him to marry. He and this other woman were asked to enter into prayer, and they came out of it convinced they were meant for each other. The two— our brother-in-the-lord and this other woman who believed they were both right for each other — eventually got married. And no sooner had this happened than all hell broke loose for this new wife. In public, our brother-in-the-lord maintained his spiritual persona, but at home, this man saw his wife as a punching bag for all his shortcomings and lost dreams. He gaslighted his wife into believing his abuse of her was all her fault.

Our brother-in-the-lord is filled with regret and hurt every time he sees the first woman he longed for but never could have with her husband in the church. He hated that the woman he married was nothing like the woman he desired, and each time the other woman's husband showed her affection in the church, our brother-in-the-lord came home to take out his angst on his poor wife, who knew nothing of what was going on in her husband's head. 😐

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Now @Amarachieze, please tell us, in each case above, which of the individuals would be classified as the unequally yoked individual in the marriage, and which would be the compatible or incompatible one. 😶