₦airaland Forum

Johnnyplus01k:
➜Tell me say u neva read any of the holy books

I have read so many so-called holy books, and none of them were written by Nigerians for the Nigerian configuration of things or reality.

Amarachieze:
➜Original carries the impression of being "first" or "beginnig" not good or bad as people generally believe. Some products may not be the original but at the same time better than the original product.

That depends, since most people did not marry their first ever girlfriend/boyfriend right off the bat. Many typically test the waters, eventually deciding on settling with the one that remained with them/the one they could settle for, or the one they suppose they love the most out of the rest. So, to me, the term itself makes no sense in this situation unless one is attempting to replace the term "first marriage" with the word "original".

tanigororo:
Avoid Sleeping with someone's wife, Abeg. One of the thing I dreaded the most is sleeping with somebody's wife. The most scary part is this ladies won't tell you they are married. God Abeg

Yeah, many women also dread sleeping with somebody's husband, but the scariest part is that some of the most single men out there are the married men. They won't tell women they are married until the woman is in too deep with them, or she later finds out for herself.

Justiceleague1:
➜Were you blindfolded before? Now now now all of a sudden,you feel like eating ofe nsala,edikanIkong,miyanTauche,etc ..you better stick to that okro soup

He is better going off to eat his ofe nsala,edikanIkong,miyanTauche, etc, than to sit, in regular anger, throwing all over his woman serving him okra soup. No one feels good about indigestion. No woman feels loved knowing all she can have is anger and misery, holding on to a man. Let him/her leaf!

eazzzy1:
➜What if the man was raped?
➜ What if his sperm was stolen?
➜ What if he wasn’t informed about the child - say she pinned the pregnancy on another man until her secret was exposed?
➜ What if the child was a product of manipulation and lies?
➜ I think the law and lawmakers assume that women are incapable of evil. It’s time we start sending red pillers to the senate and house. Nobody is fighting for the rights of men in the world.

Then the man should present himself to the authorities and have officers investigate to prove the rape.

2. Stolen, how? Again, the one whose property was supposedly stolen would need to present himself before the authorities to have his case investigated and proven before the law.

3. Did you not bother reading up the details of the quoted law before asking this question?

4. Manipulation and lies produce a child? I thought copulation is what leads to these things in the simplest of ways?

5. Ah, I see! The Law was created by men who mostly have little or no regard for women. Given that we are talking of Nigeria after all, I guess that the reason taxpayer money should not be spent raising the children of deadbeat fathers and mothers. Can you think of any better reason why a deadbeat parent should not be expected to fund the care and nurture of a child that resulted from one of his many dalliances?

Wetin, redpill go do? Ask you to superglue your penal opening so you don't pour into the women when you have sex with them, or continue pretending that causing women to bear the full load of raising your children will somehow make the problem that created the need for the law somehow disappear? Nonsense !

marlow1962:
What about laws for deadbeat mothers?

Did you even bother reading up on the law that was quoted before responding?

eazzzy1:
➜I think a man should be part of the decision process to have a child or not. Having sex isn’t a decision to become a parent. Just like the sex is consensual, the decision to give birth should be too.
➜ If a woman solely decide to bring a child to the world, it should be assumed that she’s going to solely raise it.
➜ If she’s unable, the state should take the child and give it up for adoption.
➜ If we say we are pro choice and a woman should have the choice to abort a fetus she didn’t create alone, the man’s choice of not wanting the responsibilities of fatherhood should also be respected.

1. A man already is. He is to abstain from having sex altogether or get his tubes tied if he does not want to have children. Simple!

2. A woman does not decide on her own. The law assumes that the decision is made at the point where the man and woman both voluntarily choose to have sex. It takes both a man and a woman to have a child. Simple!

3. Why should the state take a child away from its parents without penalizing both parents for having the child in the first place?

4. What the heck are you on about? Abortions are illegal in Nigeria. And this decision was made, not by women but by the patriarchal system that has ruled the country to this day.

Amarachieze:
➜I don't have problem with one leaving anyone who chooses to leave any toxic relationship including marriage.
However the term "original" is what I don't understand. If a one makes mistakes in choice of a partner does it imply the woman is not original wife? How can the second be original and the first fake?

Terms like "Original", "God's will", "Soul mate", "True love", "Rightful husband/wife", etc., are all false ideas concocted by those within religious/traditional circles. In the world outside of those religious/traditional delusions where all of us— including the religiously deluded— actually live, those terms hold no water — they are meaningless.

2. "To err is human!" We are humans and we make mistakes... we are guaranteed this. For a human to then pretend that is mistakes(which he is almost immediately aware of the moments after making them— the human mind is a wonderful machine in that sense) are somehow sanctioned or, as the religious nut jobs would pretend, made "holy" is to operate one's life on an even greater level of stewpidity than one ever should have to.

There is no original or fake. There is just the first one and the next one after that, and so on. Simple!

advanceDNA:
➜U are the one telling stories of knowing people jumping from one marriage to another even to the fifth .....but I am the story teller...
.hahahaha...anyways birds of the same feather flocks together ...on a normal day u no kukuma n0rmal so it's a broken arrow exchanging with you

I didn't tell any stories since there are lots of examples out there today of these things for even the most religious to see and realize that there is nothing to gain in holding on to that which is dead(it only turns putrid and toxic after that).

brain54:
➜Most of the people that criticize politicians for corruption in Nigeria...Will do worse if given a quarter of the percentage those politicians have. They just haven't had the chance yet!

I was discussing something very similar to this with someone not many hours ago!

Nigerians and hypocrisy... for many, e be like say na blood the thing dey!

Sonnobax15:
. Always speaking from a woman's perspective . There's a clear difference from billing and teaching someone a lesson . How on earth should a young man,in his right senses be thinking of how to UnCloth his fellow man,when there are countless bannies out there who are waiting to be wiped?

WOW.... so there is such a thing as a woman's perspective to billing? 🥱🥱

Billing is not billing if a man bills another man who desires him, but it is billing if a woman bills a man who desires her? 😩😩

Sonnobax15:
➜I compelled him to call him and from the way the dude was speaking romantically from his own end,I knew my roommate's nyash was in problem . My roommate told him he was coming to pay him a visit,but never made mention if he was coming with me,his roommate.....
The plan was already strategized and the goal was to go and get our stomach fattened...And while I was planning on that,I was also thinking of how to get my roommate out of his grib before everything gets bursted and my roommate's nyash gets wiped
So, eventually we went and after exchanging pleasantries,he welcomed us and before we knew it,he had already prepared indomie noodles,fried eggs and two mortuary standard of coca cola awaiting his bride But from his look,I realized he wasn't happy when he saw me alongside with my roommate....
After filling our stomachs,the next move was to get out of his home alive.....I told him day was already getting dark and would love to go home........I knew he wouldn't just let my roommate go like that,not after feeding him .
So I said to my roommate----" Afa Jude,e be like say you go throw me small leg reach front so that only you go come back to come meet your guy na".
My roommate already understood the game plan and he obliged immediately.....When the werey of a gay heard what I said,he happily brought our a #200 note and handed over to me to use it as transport.......Omoh,na so me and my roommate enter outside,stop okada and voommmmm we vanished to our hostel......At night,my roommate's phone was buzzing with calls from the werey ...To the extent that I told him to put his number on blacklist.....
Omoh,it's been 12 years now,and recently I got a call from my roommate, telling me his girlfriend had put to bed.....Na so I jokingly remind am say--"Oboy,you remember that day wey that your guy almost wipe your nyash that year for poly?". That was how we ended our phone call with lots of laughter....

How is this any different from the games some girls who OP and his ilk label as billings girls play on boys? Every freaking day on here, OP and his gang never shut up about being used by these girls, yet here we have OP celebrating him— and his gang — billing someone else.

advanceDNA:
➜By the time u have gotten to the 4th or 5th marriage and still moving , u should realize by then, u also have issues..... The problem with y'all is it's everyone else's but yourself....

Storyteller! 🥱🥱🥱

I know people who are already on their 5th and their mental health is doing good for it, too. As a matter of fact, all of their exes and children are even happier man who remained in the same marriage for over 30 years, inflicting his wife and children with his toxicity and regret throughout. Yeah, there are many examples of folks who are better off because they escaped a loveless marriage, than remain miserable and worse, tools of torture to their children and spouse as a result.

The long and short is that it is NEVER OK to remain in a loveless/unfulfilling marriage. It is exponentially better for you to continue seeking your happiness outside of marriage than to remain and weaponize marriage as a torture chamber of sorts against those whom you have decided to blame for your unhappiness and miserable existence— all of which is in fact due to your choices. No one deserves your toxicity, your abuse, or miserable existence, not even the one you are married to.

yemmit90:
➜A woman that can feed herself while single can do well in marriage. You talk as if she will be the only one that will shouldered all the responsibilities in the marriage.
➜ With understanding family oriented man, she will only support with little she can.
➜ Besides, she can't be providing for them forever, like she said, two of them has already done with their studies and currently learning a skill. If she really love herself, she should not allow her burdens to prevent her growth too.

1. Is this me or is this wickedness blown in OP's face? OP indicated that she is financially strapped... cannot feed herself, but all you seem to care about is having a man use her body in the name of marriage. And if said man abandons her while pregnant or after having two kids now, na una go come tell OP she no plan her life well?

2. Oh! Are these understanding, family-oriented men the same ones who later abandon their wives and children? So, they never change their minds, yet the country is dealing with a rise in the number of single mothers(even married single mothers) abandoned to care for children all by themselves?

Na that kind of nonsense you want to heap on OP's head because she cried out that the weight she is currently carrying is already too much for her to bear?

3. She can't be providing for them forever; therefore, she should begin, now, heaping more burdens on herself? A burden that she clealry cannot afford or even bear at this point is growth? Ah!

Una seriously doesn't like women at all!

PHIPEX:
➜It's simply a lack of commitment that makes the grace always look greener from afar. Of you water you own garden it will.be green like others.
➜ If you fail to water your own garden and keep eyeing your neighbour's garden your long throat will never end.
➜ If after the 2nd partner you meet the next best one, I[b] hope you will also advice the partner to move and not be caged and on and on it goes[/b]

1. You mean the man who regularly violently abuses his wife for not being as pretty as he would have wanted or dainty as the lady he would have preferred is better for it because of his supposed commitment to making life a living hell for the wife whom he does not love?

You mean like the man who cheats without remorse on the wife who spends any free time she has praying for him to change, while every time he sees her, he sees the regret that he settled for her rather than waiting for the woman he would have loved to her, is better off as he is because he is at least commited as an abuser of his wife? (Cheating is also abuse.) And his children are happier for it that their father is a community dick rather than a father who divorced their mother, abi? That is the kind of commitment you are talking to us about, right?

2. Don't follow your desires because you are afraid your long throat will never end, so remain in a loveless marriage, caging your spouse into a miserable existence for it, and your children are left always wondering if they are the reason why their parents were never able to find happiness in marriage, abi?

3. Some people didn't find what they were looking for until after their fourth or fifth marriages. One thing is that it is better to move on to the next partner — free your spouse from the cage that is life in a loveless, potentially toxic marriage —and go find your peace/happiness wherever it may lie. You have only one life; it is better to leave free as a bird than as a caged and miserable swallow.

Johnnyplus01k:
➜You are getting it wrong, the holy books said it

Holy books wey your ancestors write abi na the ones wey dem no even know anything about?

Chilipepper:
Queer Nigerian man dies after being beaten and thrown from a two-storey building by homophobic assailants in Port Harcourt.

So, the focus is on the fact that the man was gay and not that the people who killed him are murderers who may have probably killed before, since their target seemed to be specific?

Lamasta:
✓ I've passed my message

And your message is that you settled in marriage and you want others to equally settle in marriage alongside you, abi? I fought anyone would like to remain in marriage knowing he/she was not the only loved but instead the one settled for. It is a cruel life to live. 🥱

Lamasta:
✓ If you don't want to stay in your husband house don't marry , You will always meet men better, more mature and more handsome than your spouse likewise your spouse too will always meet women prettier and better than you and it doesn't mean you are fake to him, know this and know peace

Do I read a confession from you there that the one you married is not the one you love but rather the one you settled for? 🥱🥱🥱

The equation go simple. Women should absolutely stay away from him until after his parents are dead.🥱🥱

advanceDNA:
✓ Baba...after the 4 the marriage..they only became more tolerant, considerate, rational and of ofcourse tired of jumping around.....

Tired, you say! Not really! Some continue into the 5th ...whatever it takes. Some discover that being single ain't even half as bad and was maybe what they are wanted all along. Others decide to buckle down and put that energy into finally working on their other dreams in life. 🥱🥱

As long as that energy is not being used towards making the lives of a woman and possibly children miserable in the name of commitment and feigned sanctity of marriage where you have individuals cages in toxic home lives, all is well.

Amarachieze:
This is very terrible!
Eyes full of adultery they never stop sinning says the Holy book. How can someone you meet or saw after marriage be "original" while the real wife becomes fake.
Anyways the beautyful ones are not yet born

It is very possible. Holding on tight to a spouse whose eyes are filled with adultery is indicative of knowledge that one is not a real spouse though. It screams of desperation and a desire to be needed no matter the cost. 🥱🥱

Go ask all those people who remained in abusive -- adulterous --- marriages what they gained from their actions? In the end, none gained purpose in life but heartache and heartache which they busies themselves trying to heal from for the rest of their days. 🥱🥱

mosdii:
Then the law should also determine the paternity of the child.

Wrong! Paternity issues are private issues and are to be determined by individuals as they see fit. That has been the stance of the law since the time of your ancestors and this was as instituted by the patriarchal system that existed even then. (Make you no come dey whine say na women do that law either.) 🥱🥱🥱

Lamasta:
So the one you married is a fake

The bible said "Whosoever finds a husband finds good thing and obtaineth favour from the Lord"

Go tell the many domesticate violence victims out there that they the one they married is the real one naw! Explain to them how their other spouse taking out anger, regret and frustration of not being with the love truly loved on them makes them the real love. 🥱🥱🥱

Before you respond, there are also many men caught in DV marriages too. 🥱🥱🥱

michoim:
It is an adulterous generation that sees 'original spouse ' , after marriage. It is self-deception to indulge in such things as ' original spouse'. It is a concept from HELL...

Adulterous generation that started back during the time of your ancestors, abi? 👍

Ashirioluwa:
Wait until you marry and start living together; you will know that the so-called original partner you're longing for is as fake as other people out there.

Dey there dey deceive yourself. There are many more people who found their so-called love of their life after 3 or 4 marriagea marriagea than those who did it on the first try. Check history and your own ancestors. Many of the ended up abandoning many years ives before finally finding the one they would grow old with. 🥱🥱🥱

Shawarmagirl:
✓ Except your marriage is not the will of God. God should be the foundation of your marriage. You both should seek his will before getting married. Marry once and the best. Nothing like after married, then I'll see the perfect one for me.

This na one particular brand of lie men use to delude women they settled for into staying in abusive, humiliating marriages with them all while they continue to go forth to get their knobs shined outside by the women they longed for but could not afford to persuade into fully having them.

Women do it too to themselves; only the feel that if they sprinkle that "will of god" language into everything they say, somehow that marriage they really hate being a part of magically become better to manage.

theophorus:
✓ Oshey!
So if after the second marriage, You meet someone who you better again, you will leave and then you meet another who fit you better again... then you keep moving abi?
✓ Walahi! This thing make sense ooo. #When we dont know the meaning of Commitment.

1. Keep chasing your dreams until you find exactly what it is you are looking for, is what I am getting at here. I would rather you leave and allow others find their own happiness than for you to stay and make others--- your spouse and children -- live miserable and unhappy because you didn't get what you wanted for you.

There are many more husbands/wives who remained in loveless marriages because they were too afraid the love they pinned for will not find them back, and you know who paid for their not going off to chase there dream? The other spouse and the children most of whom ended up emotional dumpsters(and in many cases punching bags) for them. (Domestic violence and toxicity usually comes out of this phenomenon.) A spouse who finds love outside should leave so that those left behind can mouth and then move on. 🥱🥱🥱

2. There is nothing commitment about remaining in a marriage where you have no love but regret to offer. Ruining the life and happiness of your partner and children by remaining in a marriage where you contribute no warmth but bitterness and loneliness is not commitment but cruel and unusual punishment... wickedness even. 🥱🥱🥱

It is better you leave and they mourn your departure after which they can then move on to finding happiness than for them to be burdened with your sadness/bitterness and maybe all other toxicity that could potentially go along with it --- domestic violence included --- because you choose to remain attached to them in their name.of some useless commitment.

Children, for one , would rather you love them from afar than make their lives a living hell by staying. 🥱🥱

Reverseng:
➜There are different forms of death and not every death ends in 6ft below. Some die slowly in their marriage.
Why stay in a place where you're not comfortable? All because a book of questionable contents tells you to do so
But verily I tell you, even citizens In war torn countries are permitting to migrate so they can protect their lives. Talk more of relationships with no physical barriers except those we create due to false teaching which should have been questioned and discarded long ago.
The ability to discern when to stay in a relationship for any reason (children care) is key. Does your relationship threaten your life physically and mentally in a way that you won't be able to properly give care to your children?
Does your relationship scar you in such a way that you find nobody else to transfer your aggression to but unto your innocent children whom you've sworn to protect?
Hasn't the protection of your children from harm in this case become protecting them from yourself?

For those who like to tell women that after a divorce, there is no life or relationship, the fact that many single mothers have more than one (mostly single) baby daddy speaks volumes as to the falsehood of those claims.

There are lots of very attractive women out there who are single mothers who are never without boyfriends. So, women after a divorce spend years on their emotional, mental, and physical well-being. Then invest in your looks, and you will never be single.

Double0h7:
I’ve met a few white women with this exact storyline, and they are happily married to the second person for many years. I think if there’s no children involved in the current marriage, and you meet your soulmate, then it’s probably best to walk away from the current relationship and try again. If there are children involved then it would be selfish to scatter your family for a potential.

While on the surface, it may seem selfish, it isn't right to turn marriage into some sort of hostage situation for your spouse. As the other spouse, you do yourself absolutely no good trying to hold on to someone who does not love or value you in a relationship. (It should really gross you out that you are in a relationship with someone whose heart is already elsewhere.) If he/she wishes to leave, let him leave. It isn't necessary to guilt him/her into staying, nor is it sensible to try to force him/her to stay, as that only makes one into some sort of monster and not a partner.

It is better to leave the marriage completely once one realizes one no longer has happiness or joy to find within it, than to remain and have the other spouse waste his/her life dedicated to a partner whose heart and mind are elsewhere. And worse, have the children grow up watching their parents live unhappily and miserably, thinking themselves partly to blame for it. It is wrong and should not be condoned, no matter what.

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yemmit90:
✓ Her biological clock matter alot, she can't continue to cater for her siblings, while neglected her marital life. A good man will understand her condition and support her where necessary. She must never be lazy in marriage though.
✓ I have seen many women like that, reason I was advising her not to allow that to prevent her from getting marry at appropriate time.

By her biological clock, you mean that while she is complaining that she is unable to fend for her current family, and yet to gain financial independence at the same time, she should also be considering how literally add another mouth to the queue for her to feed? Isn't that literally advice that is coming from a place of hate?

2. You have seen many women who struggling to pull themselves and their families about of poverty, and you think insisting they find ways to add to their suffering is the advice to give them ? Why? Have the many men out there with kids successfully fed their kids that you would think to send more women into having more babies into the mix? 🥱🥱