₦airaland Forum

Liliantalks:
➜Good evening, I'm a single young lady , i have suitors coming my way, i don't smoke but the three guys that I like smokes, I don't know to accept them or not,
➜I'm tired of being single, what should I do?

If you have a no-smoking boundary, why would you think to consider smokers then? Do the many bad/toxic relationships that surround you there in Nigeria not give you all the motivation you need to do better— never settle for less— for your own self or what?

2. Why do you, in the year 2025, think it makes sense to treat your single life as some placeholder for relationships/marriage? Why not invest your time and effort in discovering who you are, learning to love yourself — self-care and self-love —, working on your career and finances to be sure that you do not ever have to depend on anyone else in that area, etc., before considering finding someone else to love?

Why are Nigerian girls, in this information age we now live in, still in some sort of rush to find boys when they have a lot of growing up to do?

Liliantalks:
➜Good evening, I'm a single young lady , i have suitors coming my way, i don't smoke but the three guys that I like smokes, I don't know to accept them or not,
➜I'm tired of being single, what should I do?

If you have a no-smoking boundary, why would you think to consider smokers then? Do the many bad/toxic relationships that surround you there in Nigeria not give you all the motivation you need to do better— never settle for less— for your own self or what?

2. Why do you, in the year 2025, think it makes sense to treat your single life as some placeholder for relationships/marriage? Why not invest your time and effort in discovering who you are, learning to love yourself — self-care and self-love —, working on your career and finances to be sure that you do not ever have to depend on anyone else in that area, etc., before considering finding someone else to love?

Why are Nigerian girls, in this information age we now live in, still in some sort of rush to find boys when they have a lot of growing up to do?

Dyfynezz12:
➜Yes,as a man its very dangerous for ur woman to earn more than u

If your dick is bruised by your woman earning more than you do, then you are not a man but a boy pretending to be a man.

investorcj:
➜I pour my self spit

Shows you are still just an eejit to yourself!

If you still do not understand how chemical-induced love works and how it is quite normal to go through the steps of grieving after a breakup, then you have not grown up at all. I suggest you go out there and research what happens to your brain when you supposedly fall in love(addiction) and the brain when a breakup happens(addiction withdrawal).

There is nothing wrong with your reaction to the breakup... your brain was just going through what it had to and that is OK—nothing to be ashamed of.

GenFunction:
Then how much would he be earning?

Well, a girl who makes that much would likely never consider him if he made less than she does.

alphonsoolajide:
➜https://eyesoflagos.com/i-cant-date-a-girl-who-earns-%e2%82%a6100k-monthly-she-must-earn-%e2%82%a62m-nigerian-cleaner/

He is being realistic. Anyone who earns less than that should not even consider a relationship, or at least get his tubes tied.

Mrdealer4all:
➜This is the worst mistake I made by staying with my foolish younger sister and her husband in search of greener pasture because they have money. Her husband treated me like slave and house boy. The husband senior me with just 7 months will be talking to me like a child because life favour him... Throughout my stay with them , they never treat me like in law or family member. I was indoor throughout my stay with them.. Imagine staying with your in law for the first time after getting married to your younger sister for years and being treated like trash or nobody. It is well. Who go help you no go stress you.

Why didn't you stay with your parents instead? As her older sibling, did it not occur to you that you probably had to abandon your ego at the door— check it in and leave it there until you are finally able to get yourself situated in your own place and life— when you moved in with this foolish younger sister of yours?

They gave you a roof over your head and a place to stay while searching for a better life for yourself, and all you really had to do to show appreciation was at least handle the house chores and do common repairs around the home, since you didn't need to pay any bills while living with them. You literally then had to spend the rest of the time you had working on yourself. What is so bad about that?

I hope you have at least found your greener pasture and moved out of their marital home so they can finally get to living as husband and wife.

Feldie:
no man should knee to propose to anybody. Any man who does something as idiotic as that deserves whatever humiliation he gets. Nobody cares what his mother has to say about the matter. Why exactly should a man swear allegiance to any woman? What level of foolishness is that? Is she a queen? I don't even blame you present day women, it's the men doing all these things that I blame.
I should kneel down to a woman because I want to marry her?
Oh by the way, I'm also totally against women kneeling to serve men drink during traditional and whatever. If your ego is so fragile that you need someone to knee so you can feel important I don't want to be seen anywhere near you.

Again, because the tradition of proposals, which he himself organized for the girl— the western kind—, required the man kneeling to swear allegiance to his lady. The tradition behind that particular type of proposal is almost 1000 years old.

louken:
✓Young lady, this is the advice someone dropped and you quickly countered it:
Your immediate solution now is to be completely independent.
Cook your food, get a private transportation for your children, sleep in a different room from her and always spend your spare time with your children and friends or yourself only, try as much as possible to limit your conversations with her,
She will reset ASAP to wife status
Now tell me, if you ain't already biased towards your gender, how this advice translates to what you are asserting?
Dude doesn't want to vacate the house for the woman. Why are you so irked about that?

My guess is the reason you give him this sort of advice is because you have yourself never done any of what you advise or been a child in such a situation.

We4all:
✓ Nah...there is a difference between: "you can leave if you want to". and "pack your bags and get out of my house."[b][/b] ....

Abeg, encourage your fellow women to be strict with their boundaries.... that way you won't feel the need to attempt this sort of shalaye-ing! 😩😩😩

If a man suggests you leave if you don't like what is going on, respect yourself and leave! No need to cling, fearing you may not find better opportunities elsewhere. Keep your dignity even if you need to remain single to do so jor. 😩😩😩

occfx:
➜Divorce is a longer process than getting a 2nd or 3rd wife.

Argh! The 2nd or 3rd wife is an itch that cannot wait? 😑😑😑

We4all:
I am still trying to understand what the fuss is about, but, I am at a loss for words. Some women don't value their responsible partners until another smart woman snatches him from them. Your husband is not a dead beat, has an impressive savings culture, but you are still not contented with what God has blessed you with.

A man literally tells his wife to leave, yet you think she should remain?

AngelSlay:
...We haven't spoke for days because of this issue and he won't even apologise and explain himself.
Can you believe he told me this morning to leave the marriage if I want to because he's never going to talk about the money with me? ...

Because he makes more money, she should simply cling to him even after what he said? In relationships, women should have boundaries that they should never allow anyone to violate; women should have standards that they should never lower.

olabrad:
➜if you are waiting for a man to kneel down before proposing to you, you will pass meanoupause and no man will com yuor waey

Are you sure you are OK in the head?🙄🙄🙄

The man himself deployed a proposal format that requires him to kneel on one knee out of respect for the woman he plans to marry. That is why he was expected to get down on one knee. (Refusal to get down on the knee implies a complete lack of respect for the woman in question.)

Now, kneeling was too much for him; he could have easily employed another proposal format that did not come with that requirement at all, but that is not what he did.

Feldie:
Why should he knee in the first place?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8WeZpaCk94?si=XSDn3LKfPaZpCrGr

olabrad:
➜So, he must kneel down at a proposal before he can prove to you that he wants to marry?!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8WeZpaCk94?si=XSDn3LKfPaZpCrGr

Feldie:
Why should he knee in the first place?

Because the tradition of proposals which he himself organized for the girl, required the man kneeling to swear allegiance to his lady. Even his own mother affirmed this in her video with him.

360clips:
➜I don't understand how it's that damn real when your unconscious! I just had one recently and that had to be the worst I've had so far! As I woke up its like my heart skipped some beats and then started beating normally again. Crazy!

Google Explosive head syndrome! That might be what you experienced.

Infotubia9ja:
➜People are waking up to panic around the western part of the world in countries like USA, CANADA, AUSTRALIA, SWEDEN etc. As people can be seen running around and there was pandemonium all around the street and all over social media where people can be seen praying crying and some jubilating and waiting for the return of Jesus christ for they all claimed rapture day is upon us and the date has been placed to be exactly the 23rd and 24th of September 2025 at midnight.
People believe that Jesus christ will be coming with his angels to claim all his children with him to heaven. Pastors and diffrent leaders of all diffrent churches have told their followers to sell all their properties and give the proceeds to other people and also to the church and house of God as well.
As of today September 22 tiktok is trending with the word "RAPTURE" many people of diffrent races and ethnicities have been trending with advice and what to do when the rapture eventually start taking place.

Let's hope this is all not followed by news of rampant suicides beginning the morning of September 25th.

Beerbeer:
➜We are four siblings in my family: two boys who are twins and two girls. When my mum passed, my elder sister stood in as a parent for us. She paid for our university education and sent us monthly allowances for feeding. In fact, three of us would have dropout if not for her. Even when I graduated from school, she was still sending me 30k every month, pending when I get a job. This is in addition to also sending same to my siblings and my father. She has done this for close to 10 years without complaint.
Recently, I finished a project that paid me 2.1 million. This is how I spent the money:
I gave 500k to my church to thank them for getting me the job.
300k to my father.
100k to my stepmum.
100k to my second sister.
Bought 700k laptop to help with my coding job.
I used the rest to pay rent, change my wardrobe, clearance from school, and feeding.
My elder sister found out from my twin brother and got angry because I didn't tell her anything about the job or the money. She was also angry because I didn't set aside money for my twin brother going to law school this year.
To be honest, I didn't think it was a big deal to tell her. I knew my twin was in safe hands cos she was already handling that so I didn't bother. Before now, she had already paid the law school fees (about 500k). So I thought it was settled. I tried to reason with her but she refused to hear.
She was also angry I didn't tell her about the laptop. I knew I messed up here because she was the one that encouraged me to pick up coding and even bought my first laptop. I told her I wanted to finalize everything but it made her angry tye more. She blocked me and I also found out she blocked everyone else including our father.
All these happened in April. I thought she would calm down by now. But I just discovered that she has moved out of our state without telling anyone. She has blocked all the numbers we tried to reach her.
My twin brother said she only sends him allowance for law school (100k every month) and has blocked his number so he won't contact her. He is the only person she sends money to now, as she has stopped giving us as before. I am so confused. Why is she acting like this? Shouldn't she be happy for me? Nairalanders help me.

➜ You have a father, ...., but your sister had to step in to parent you all, yet you don't see what you did wrong? You even went as far as to give a stepmother money, too?
➜You had 500k to give away to a church as Nigeria dey so, yet you don't see what you may have done wrong?
➜ (Nothing saved up for future)

May this kain sibling never happen to me!

ShoeMarket:
Because of no kneeling down to propose to you, you are loosing everything he gave you. That lady well at all.

Nah! She is losing an entitled man-boy as husband.

gabbytabby:
➜The girl dodged a bullet this one no bi husband material and will beat in marriage. If give me back my gift to you of car is his response let him take it and go. Him fit be yahoo yahoo self before him take the girl do ritual.

Even im mama know say na her son dey to blame for refusing to kneel after organizing a public proposal... a tradition that dates back to knights swearing allegiance to their ladies in honor.

occfx:
➜If you no allow man have peace, he will go else where to find the peace

Go elsewhere? He is still married to the woman whom you pretend denies him peace. Clearly, this ain't about peace!

Mrkc:
No wife.
No kids.
No helper.
No inheritance.
No connection.
No friends.
No skill.
All I have is just HND ...
I am a weakling and i feel so defeated.
My world is crumbling

You have an HND but no skill? What did you spend the last 40 years doing?

I suggest you begin now learning basic skills such as cooking, cleaning, and other skills that can help in the house at least.

Kalatium:
➜Hinduism and Buddhism say it’s karma—maybe you’re suffering now because of something from a past life.
Christianity says, don’t worry, judgment day is coming.
Islam says everything happens by divine decree—be patient, paradise awaits.
African traditional religions blame curses, ancestors, or spiritual imbalance.
But let’s be honest—all these explanations push justice to “later.”
Later = after death.
Later = reincarnation.
Later = the unseen.
I honestly just shake my head sometimes. Every religion has its own way of sugarcoating suffering and injustice.“It’s karma, wait for your next life.” “Hellfire is waiting, don’t worry.” “Judgment day is coming, the wicked will pay.” “Your ancestors are angry, do sacrifice.” Translation? Keep quiet, keep suffering, justice is postponed.....

A bigger question ought to be, "By what standard did we arrive at the belief that those who claim to be religious are righteous?" Is religiousity righteousness? According to whom? The very same religious people... are they the judges as far as righteousness is concerned?

Dyfynezz12:
I mentioned outside the country cox women have a far greater chance to earn big there compared to when they are in Nigeria nd hence they will be obliged to bring out more of their money cox bills there are much. Women are not wired to spend their money, a woman can have 1m in her acc nd will be finding it very frustrating to spend 50k inside the money

. Women are not wired to spend their money, yet women everywhere spend their own money on themselves, buying/houses, cars, caring for their children, etc. 😏😏😏

Dyfynezz12:
➜The first thing men should understand abt women is once they start contributing a lot to family expenses or a large chunk of their money,their body will start peppering them thats a big reason why most of them start misbehaving when they travel out with their family. I have seen firsthand instance of this

Peppering them? Nonsense! 🙄🙄🙄

A sensible woman would only desire to be in a relationship that she profits from; that is, simple business sense. If at any time, she finds out that remaining in the relationship no longer benefits her — she is coming up losing more than she gains from it — she has a right to exit the relationship. 🥱🥱🥱

louken:
➜You mean spending time with kids equates to friction? Friction with who or what?

Which part of the husband and wife living together like literal enemies do you imagine implies them spending time with kids? What aspect of remaining in an unhappy/toxic marriage do you construe as spending time with kids? Explain this reasoning you have.