₦airaland Forum

SpencerForbes:
➜That’s apt. My question is how they manage to remain loyal to more than one man. I can’t even flirt with more than 3 girls at once.

This one no go school at all! 🥱🥱🥱🥱

How can a person be loyal to more than one individual/group? When men cheat on their wives with other women, are those men equally classified as being loyal to all those wives and sidechicks?

Men and women who monkey branch are not concerned about such delusions as loyalty.

ReacherSaidNoth:
Modern day Nigerian women have no honor, their affection is for sale to the highest bidder.

Wetin honor don get their ancestors apart from a deluded sense of self and of reality baked deep into thick layers of suffering and humiliation for just being born women?

Qatar2022:
According to them, they left their options open but Reality they're prostituting

Nonsense! 🙄🙄🙄

The reason is the same one for why men with girlfriends collect numbers from other girls. No gender has a monopoly when it comes to Monkey branching. It is a free world out there. 🥱🥱🥱

jaxxy:
➜Both are wrong doesn't matter if its a man or a woman. Using the prophet title to scam someone is crazy and criminal.

All your scammers-in-the-lords — pastors, apostles, overseers, ministers, GOs, Popes, Imams, alfas, etc.,— are all scammers. Just an fyi.

profmallor:
self-inflicted hurt, i ld be shocked if you had apologized.

Apologized for what?

Onkoolos:
There is this guy in my compound have been monitoring him, I'm suspecting he is a gay.. he doesn't talk to anyone in our compound he only greets and have never seen him with any girl or friends... He stay indoors and he is always busy.. But why are some people weird like this, how is he even enjoying life chaiiiii. How can you live a life without girls, smoking, partying, watching football , no friends..??

Weird calling another weird? You dey stalk your neighbor like say you be monitoring spirit and e no reach to to realize how weird that is in and of itself?

Never had an argument in 17 years? These talebearers are at it again.🙄🙄🙄

If two human beings are in a informal relationship, disagreements and arguments are to be expected. 🤔

Nonexisting1:
✓ Wrong. They have the babies because they plan to use them as meal ticket from men and as means to an end called marriage. When their expectations are not met, they become frustrated and toxic. Look into the stories of single mothers around you and you will find out if I'm lying.

Many of them were baby-trapped by men who eventually found better options elsewhere. 🤔

Jeezuzpick:
Okay. I give you that.
Never met any, doesn't mean they don't exist, right?
Means I'm just lucky to never have met one.

Not necessarily! If they are literally ever where then there is a reason you have yet to meet a less physical and more psychological one perhaps.

Jeezuzpick:
Omo!
😳
I need to check the DNA of those male nags. Never heard of a man nagging. Scolding, yeah, but to nag? Sustained over hours? days?

Your bias is likely what keeps you from noticing them as they are every you look. 🤔

Jeezuzpick:
✓ You've never been nagged about the good you didn't do before, abi?
You've never been nagged about not being better than you are?
You never jam women with PhD in nagging.

I have experienced it all and yet chose to go back eventually to apologize. I have been nagged by males and females alike so I don't buy into the bullsheet of women being the only ones with PhD in nagging. 🤔

Now, I am not longer nagged by the same people 🤔

profmallor:
✓ hurt you caused lol.. very funny, you ve hurt a lot of people especially on nairaland, apologizing would be a great start. You are loved here you know..

There's a difference between hurt caused by me and self-inflicted hurt like what you accuse me of here on nairaland. 🤔

Divaan:
✓ This is the reason I keep advocating for ladies to use their head and eyes. Laslas, they will be the ones to bear the brunt. It was not wise for her to let you in on her past. Her past should have been long buried and gone and she should have been focusing on moving ahead, improving her lifestyle and living a brand new happy life but many of them are not wise and would rather keep repeating their mistakes.

I disagree with this here. 🤔

A woman should not be ashamed of her past
Neither should she feel the particular need to hide it from a potential suitor. If she wants to advertise it, I believe she should do so openly. And if she chooses to keep it to herself, she should do so as well without judgement. Any individual who feels she should be indicted before of her past is clearly not someone she should be investing her time and energy into.

In this case here, OP feels this woman ought to be indicted because of a past with two abortions. I feel the woman could have maybe saved herself from the waste of time of she had let him know this information from even the first meeting. All this time she wasted could have been spent finding herself a more mature and intelligent individual but look where it got her? 😐

Goodman024:
...But what really pained me is that I later discovered she has actually known about this fibroid since over a year ago, long before she even told me, but she kept it from me until recently.
As if that wasn’t enough, I also got to know that she has had two abortions in the past. And please, I’m not just assuming or accusing her wrongly, I have proof of everything I’m saying. Honestly, this revelation has really hit me hard, and I’m just confused about what step to take from here.
✓ The truth is, I genuinely love this lady. But at the same time, my heart is heavy with a lot of thoughts.
✓ Should I let go of this relationship because of the lies and past secrets? Should I forgive her and move on, considering the fact that everyone has a past? Or should I take another approach?
✓ I don’t want to make the wrong decision that I will regret later in life, that’s why I’ve come here for guidance. Please, advise me like a brother, or even as a son. I really need matured opinions on this.

1. These are clearly red flags for you and should not be overlooked.

2. Love means absolutely nothing —utterly meaningless —if one is not able to accept a partner the way they come or are. 🤔

3. Forgive her for not revealing her entire health history, including her abortion history, to you upfront, without you even asking? Hell no! 🤔

Set her free, abeg! Make you find yourself a woman more fitting to your idea instead. This kind of love you describe is never worth it. 🤔🤔

4. You are already regretting your supposed love for her at this point. Why are you asking as if you don't already see the writing on the wall? 😒

Arogbenga:
This can shift and change the general, cultural and biblical ideas that made the man head of the family.

Where in the bible is any of the many delusions you practice stated? Nonsense and eegridient! 😒

Apogee14:
✓ Ok it's a cleaner lady in my building who is commissioned to come every two days. She lives three streets away so I know she doesn't have to pay for transport but am sure the cleaner money is very low according to her back then it was like 31k before they did that minimum wage thing. Anyway I make it a point to toss like 1000 into her account like maybe once a week or even more. It just depends because some times I chop chin for like 2 weeks before giving her. Anyway so I decided instead of free money let me get her to do something small for me once in a while. I pile up my trash just at the side of my apartment before I get the chance to take it outside to the dumpster , it's not a lot of trash, like 3 small nylon bags of trash. So I would pay her 1000 just to walk like 40 steps to help me drop it in the dumpster outside. Anyway so the trash has been on the side of my house the past one week and the woman has come twice and she has seen the trash but just ignored it. At the end of the day I would go look and the trash is still there. Is it wrong to expect her to try to help me after all the help I have given her ? I give her food too apart from the money. Is it wrong to expect her to help me without asking ? Because if someone is always generous to me and I know they have paid me twice to help them move the trash outside, I would move it even if they have not asked me . Basically it seems she no send me, she is only interested in money. What do you think ? I dey look her side eyes now. Should I stop giving her or continue ?

Why is it wrong for her to be interested money while you seem interested in someone doing your dirty work for kobo kobo? If you want her to have the job then hire her explicitly spelling out terms, conditions and expected pay in detail. That way she can decide once and for all if she should devote or not then. 😒

hahn:
After all these years, you are still jumping to conclusions on behalf of your gender 😂😂

The one literally jumping to unnecessary conclusions here is clearly not me.😩😩😩
I simply posted that a woman literally abandoning a man -- without her ex of whatever ex in tow, as that is not mentioned -- and leaving with the kids says a lot about the man she was with. Same would be the case of the man had been the one who did the same instead.

When you all are done being used by others for free, you will wake up and begin making decisions like reasonable adults should. 👍

donbenie:
➜Men have been called out, over and over for being Ya hoo Pastors.
✓ The likes of Prophet Jeremiah that wants to sell off everything in God's kingdom is the butt of jokes on Social Media.
✓ Calling out Charlatans in whatever guise or form is the responsibility of everyone.

"Called out?" By whom? The Millions of religious hoards, including many of you here who are regular worshippers of the very same scammers-in-the-lords here? Come on naw! 🥱🥱🥱

2. Nonsense! Let me guess, you are Ok with Adeboye and others who are more direct in demanding money for blessing but not OK with Jeremiah selling a tangible item --water or smoke -- for the same money? Una head never roll around to it right position at all. 😩😩😩😂

3. All religions including Christianity are founded on lies and fraud, yet you think calling some elements within thing fraudulent systems amount to what? 🙄🙄🙄🙄

ufotunang:
..the kids are also his children..so he has loss his children to the woman..how will he able to get his children back

So, out of the blues, you wish for us to now believe that every single child abandoned by his/her father is literally not of blood?

sorosoke101:
➜man you don't know what's going on I wish you were in my shoes

I used to be in similar shoes until I decided to turn things around by apologizing for all the hurts I had caused. Now, I am thankfully no longer in those shoes, and I don't worry about being nagged when I am around loved ones.

IdeasPro:
➜Who can tell if he is the biological father of the kids! Women have all the secrets to life oh!

Una no dey ever make sense. Think carefully about your retort next time!

Amumaigwe:
➜Hope it would also have been an indictment against his wife if it was the man that pulled off that relocation and abandonment stunt.

With the children, certainly!

ufotunang:
➜..he would not had allowed her to take away the kids

How did you determine this?

hahn:
➜Most likely the kids aren't his and she has eloped with their real father

Or she loved him so much but can no longer stand his toxic nature and simply wishes to escape with the kids. If the children were not his, I doubt she would have left with them and without the man who fathered them.

chilinks:
➜I magnify her negative part, till I find it irritating. Less assume I am more educated than her , I will dwell on that. That's how I heal. Lo!

Lacing your ego up with more hubris than you were previously filled with does not amount to healing. What you wrote there amounts to suggesting that spiking one's brain with cocaine after getting a leg hacked off is healing. 🥱🥱🥱🥱🥱

Na the next woman wey go engage you in relationship I pity pass. 🙄🙄🙄

Mathewrichard99:
➜I concur to your narrative. So many side chicks are the one keeping many homes of men intact in this our present time.
➜ There are different categories of side chicks. There's dutiful side chicks, developer side chicks, necessity side chicks and the unfortunate side chicks.
➜ I am not in the mood to explain them to you one by one but men should be happy when they have a developer side chicks. These categories develop you to a standard, could even invest her finance into you, gives you connection more than you can ever dreamed about but would never marry you..... We go gist more next time.... I get work to do.... As Yoruba dey talk am, Thank your star, Dupe Ti e.... Thank God for your own situation

Side chicks keeping so many homes intact? Isn't that same as declaring that side dicks are responsible for also helping many homes of women intact in our present time?

2. Same way, there are many different categories of side dicks, plus the ones that women use to compensate for their husband's inability to have kids, right?

3. I hope developer side dicks are equally celebrated.

EmperorIsaac:
✓ Only because they detest competition in the sexual market under any guise.

I am not particularly certain how or where this response of yours connects to any part of what I posted. 🥱🥱🥱

EmperorIsaac:
✓ Women should call out fellow side-chicks! Leave the people with means to afford one alone.

Are your cells fried up or something? I just explained that women have absolutely nothing to gain from such activities. To this day, not a single woman can say she has gained much from engaging in such activity. Sure, there are tales out there --- rumours, mind you -- of some women heroically saving their marriages by attacking the side-chicks, but those are fairy tales... nonsensical bullsheet meant to hide away the facts — wives attacking side chicks cannot change a husband or cause him to turn away from adultery—for cheap, meaningless glory. A cheating husband will continue to cheat whether his wife attacks his side chick or not.

EmperorIsaac:
✓ Side-chicks are advocating for not being challenged! As far as the woman is involved, they will help themselves and allow the men to hang!

I think it is instead women advocating that the energy be redirected in the direction where it would achieve greater and better results.

Attacking a side chick is meaningless....the cheater living in the house with the women slighted will either doubles down or moves on to the next side chick. So, what would the wife have achieved by that? Nothing !

NotOfThisWorld:
✓It was just last week that a woman in Tennessee was shot and killed after going to her husband's side chick's home. The husband was inside the home at the time and the side chick had fired one shot at her from inside the house when she saw her (the wife). Instead of her to run away, she proceeded to make her way inside the home, probably to fight her and the side chick didn't hesitate to shoot her dead. Her despicable husband that she was fighting over didn't even come to her aid. Both women obviously hated each other, so this was the perfect opportunity for one to get rid of the other once she saw that opportunity. Imagine losing your life in this manner. Wouldn't it have been better for this woman to walk away, not just from that house, but from the man?

What a pathetic way to die...that is what I have to say! 😩😩😩😩😩

Chilipepper:
Wife secretly planned and secured a US visa for herself and the kids without her husband’s knowledge. He only found out two days before their departure. After arriving in the US, she blocked him everywhere.

What an indictment against the man she was married to. She took the kids but abandoned him. Yikes!