₦airaland Forum

Hhh4444:
two over Sabi no fit make marriage work...one person has to overlook somethings before marriage will work.
✓ I doubt if your kind can sustain a lasting relationship/marriage.

I can see how in your mind, a relationship has to be a bit control and not of individuals having healthy necessary boundaries. When your idea of marriage is built on one human controlling the whims and decisions of the other, what else can we expect? 🥱🥱🥱

Of course you would doubt that two individuals can be in a healthy control free relationship with each having healthy boundaries in place as check since all you have been exposed to and consider a standard are literally master-slave marriages. 😩😩😩

Hhh4444:
✓ Hope you are aware that women that are always claiming rights don't last in relationships/marriage. Be there claiming miss right while time passes you by as your smv drops drastically.

What you are insinuating is that the only way women last in marriage is if they shed their individual rights and become shells for the sake of the marriage? Clearly, you have never ever witnessed a good marriage but use what are terrible examples as the standard.

Testimony1988:
➜ hmmmm, if you were in his shoes, how will you feel,
➜she shouldn't have collected his money when she knows she won't accept to marry him.

I could never be in his shoes since I do not believe human beings, particularly women, can be bought. Also, when I do giveaways, I do it without expecting anything in return.

2. That is what poor people say to excuse their stewpid ways of reasoning the obvious.

sonofthunder:
✓ Yes. Never marry a woman that cannot be persuaded, especially by you as the husband.
She'll never listen to your opinion and will always run off to do whatever pleases her
✓ and you'll always clean after her mess.

The moment you start to pretend your opinion should be law for others to live by, you cross over from being a partner to being a power-hungry egomaniac. It is that simple!

2. Additionally, feeling you need to clean up after other adults is a sign of deep emotional trauma on your part. I suggest you look into that.

LordIsaac:
➜Men don't cheat. He is only distributing his resources how he deems fit. ' I shall repeat the umpteenth time that I am talking about the right of a man to the fruit of his labor- his resources!

Well, women have also been showing you a lot that they too cannot cheat since they can also have side-dicks in marriage.

JibolaUsman:
➜This is clearly someone who is still living with his parents and cannot see beyond his nose. Only a fool will marry a woman who is not friendly with his siblings. If your other half does not want your family members around them it's a huge sign that they don't love you at all but are only using you for material gain. I have this male friend who loves his wife's family better than even the wife. He is always buying her parents gifts at every little occasion and even made his wife a bigger sister to her own siblings. The truth is when you marry you cannot help but be involved with other members of that person's family.

I notice how many of you think it makes sense to add your private delusions in between the lines of what was posted in order to make it make sense to you. Life and common sense no dey work like that.

The post did not state that the woman was not friendly to the man's siblings, nor does it say that the woman did not want his family members around her. Try to borrow a page from language comprehension next time before mentioning me.

darediamond:
➜A Lady who respect herself is one who jointly invest F I N A N C I A L L Y in the courtship and later MATRIMONIAL celebration and Herarital Life. When there is one sided spendings in a relationship, THEREUST BE ONE SIDED CONTROL TOO.

What you are wanting us to believe is that your mother, grandmother, great-grandmothers, etc., who choose to live as traditional housewives had absolutely no respect for themselves? Message received!

dangotesmummy:
➜exactly. If you as a man have an obsessive desire to control another human being. No need to marry just go and buy a pet dog or horse.i no even know who swear for naija men with their obsession to control as if thry know everything [b]but again if we see truth make we talk am the bride was very wrong.your groom say put his sister among your bridal train.wetin dey there. Everything is not an ego contest.you already know say them don swear for naija men to have ego even the ones wey no to get sense hav big egos bigger than their sense.hen you for let her join the bridal train and then she herself will feel sidelined and cannot relate because all the girls there are your own person and friend.by the time she feels ignored she go dey ask herself why she insisted to be on the bridal train. after all you don satisfy your grooms desire to be on the train.when them wan snap picture, exclude her,in activities where they are supposed to do girlie things exclude her even if she's wearing the same bridal dress.trust me na the girl go look stupid and she won't be able to complain without looking like an alaseju.if she complain her family will say shebi them don put you for bridal train why you still dey complain [/b]
➜Everything requires wisdom. No be everything you go dey use gra gra do. na the girl go look stupid and out of place

I will start with the last part of your submission before addressing the former. Wisdom isn't stewpidity. Standing one's ground as far as one's right is not gra gra. It is simply one standing one's ground on what rightly belongs to one. It's simple!

As for your suggestion that the woman let the sister into her train just for the sake of keeping the peace, well, that is what your mothers and grandmothers also did. In the name of keeping the peace, they ended up elevating the egos of the other party above their very existence in this life. (So, that scenario you described, thinking it amounts to wisdom, rarely plays out in the good of the woman who starts by caving in to pressure.) If we were to chronicle the experiences of older generation women in books, you would find that the pages would instead document how these women, through their many acts of submission, carefully saw to it that they lost their very freedoms as individuals and human beings in the name of keeping the peace/maintaining marriage. Please, do not teach your daughters to live their lives as pushovers for the sake of keeping the peace or any of that other nonsense.

No woman should submit to control of any kind. Rather than seek to placate people who want to deny you even the little freedoms you have in this life, it would be best to forgo marriage completely.

LordIsaac:
➜I didn't make all the inferences you listed up there. All I'm saying is what I'd reiterate, a man possesses the inalienable right to spend his money as he deems fit. His money!

You did exactly that when you declared that a husband who cheats on his wife cares for her. Clearly, indicating that submissives are indeed a hated class of women by men like you.

Adeebiwa09:
➜I have a few question/view point cos I think your writeup in the last paragraph seem to be pro the bride. While I agree with what were earlier said
Marriage is suppose to be a safe space, there is a world where he will insist that his sister won't join and heaven won't come down but been a man starting a new home the person he is more inclined to reason and understand with him is his wife (bride), if not her who he can persuade her to make that sacrifice for him instead of him to deny his sister and it becomes a family thing, a family she's marrying into by the way.
➜ Now there was a case of a lady getting married and her special need cousin who always calls her his wife and likes getting too close wants to come for her wedding. The family is begging her to allow him come cos if he's the only one not coming it will affect him and all that, she's like if he comes he will be trying to do all those stuff. It's a one time thing. Do it and get it over with, that's the last time that person will ever be able to decide anything or request for anything.
➜If it was captured right the groom requested. And she has the right to deny it but you speak of controlling man it's not adding up especially in the light of what I said earlier. There's a world where she's part of them and she's redundant and they sideline her, has she accepted the request yes but she has carried it out her way they will send her to get something while they do their thing and all.
➜You mentioned that if she asks the groom to allow his brother join his grooms men he won't. I want to believe you are a man if not then it's quite clear. I haven't seen a man in the world who would be that petty if there is he's not a man or should not get married. Guys no send o no be big deal Anyways my submission

1. If being a man means curbing the freedoms of your woman, then you are not a man but a control-obsessed individual. Some women are like that, too. Narcissistic traits are not unique to men.

2. Are you sheeting me right now? The woman was clearly uncomfortable with the boys clinging to her, but you lot said she should endure it for what purpose exactly? Why not get the boy professional mental therapy help instead?

Obviously, what you described was not a one-time thing, and who knows what else the boy could have done to that girl in all of that time. Yuck!

3. Do you know what a right means? If I have the right to say "No," but you reject my right or assert that my right is against you, it implies that what you want is control, the power to overrule my right. That is clearly a problem and a world she should do everything to avoid being dragged into!

4. Her right to say, "No," should not be impacted by whether he allows such or not; that is one of the reasons why I removed that second question I had asked, since a lot of people did not see the obvious here. He cancelled the wedding because she would not allow his sister into her bridal train, clearly indicating he wanted control over her right. A controlling man would, of course, not simply allow such concessions if the situation were reversed.

JuanDeDios:
➜I don't buy it. Because I've witnessed a couple where the woman was unaccommodating. It was one of the things that eventually ended the marriage. No, this is for real, not from Google.

Saying she is unaccommodating is something entirely different from what is presented in the OP, which is that the man cancelled the wedding because the woman would not let his sister join her bridal train.

tollyboy5:
➜Why not put it this way. Women stop collecting bride price. Pay for Dowry instead and fund your wedding 💯.
➜Don't allow any man to decide how you plan your wedding.

1. The bride price system was set up by men as payment from other men, supposedly for their efforts in raising women for men.

The woman practically gets nothing from the bride price system, as she is instead the product exchanged in the process. Sad, huh?

2. Exactly! That is why it is good that this one cancelled the wedding so she can go find herself a man who would not encroach on even the little freedoms she has in the process.

tollyboy5:
➜Don't be partial. He dodged a bullet. She missed a good man,
➜ because I wonder why a man will fund a wedding at 💯 and still pay bride price? Is she disabled or what?

A controlling man is never a good man for a woman. Go ask your mothers and grandmothers for details on why that is always true. A controlling man ends up reducing the woman he is in a relationship with to a husk of a human.

2. He paid for it; therefore, all of her efforts she put into making sure the ceremony he paid for turns out the best, is to be considered a useless effort? Many Nigerian women struggle with seriously low self-esteem, and that is why a whole load of them end up with men who reason like you do. Very sad situation indeed.

Jughead29:
➜You have not yet married, but already telling the man that he has no say? Respect start from before the wedding.... And thank God for the low brain of a woman.... They'll always mistakenly shows their red flag or flags

Have a say or control her choices? 🥱🥱🥱🥱

fyneboi79:
No! No!! No!!! The rationale behind the cancellation is her inability to be accommodating even to his own sibling?
Haba Sammy,how will you feel if your elder brother is sponsoring a vacation with his friends and their wives and he asks you to come along with your husband but his wife says no but will rather have another couple?

He didn't want accommodation but control. That much is confirmed by the fact that he went on to cancel.

Bimpe29:
In a serious matter like marriage, such trivial issues shouldn’t have been allowed to disrupt the wedding

It isn't trivial. This was an attempt by the man to exert control over the woman's choices. That is a red flag for any woman out there.

favour32:
✓ Na bride dey spend abi?

So, because him dey spend money, all of her own efforts in making certain the ceremony goes according to plan are valueless? 🥱🥱🥱

Kdon2:
✓ Some women are brick walls. You can't penetrate their rigid mind

Then leave them, not cheat on them then turn around to blame them— gaslight the women into taking blame— for your cheating, it screams of blatant immaturity. Hiding your escapades via various apps clearly shows the women have reasons to be bothered.

Anyways, na women wey dey put up with it all I dey blame.

LordIsaac:
✓ They don't really care about their husbands. They don't just want another female to share in the resources...they want all he has for themselves!

A man who keeps a sidechick cares about his wife, abi?

LordIsaac:
➜All because of how he decides to spend his resources....leeches!

How did you determine that the resources are his?

isyourboy:
➜Kobo, stop doing this. I didn’t want to use degree to start PhD, I already have my WAEC certificate. And for PhD , I don’t think people pay to get that so I should not concern myself with fee

You don't think people pay to get a PhD? And you are sure of this, how?

viyon02:
➜Your husband is never a stupid man. Pay attention to what he has been complaining about in your character or action. May be you have been taking his warnings for granted thinking afterall you ara already married to him and he can't send you away just like that. My dear wife, you will lose big term. Just go back and pretend nothing happen, make him happy, start doing what will make him happy, you know those things he love you doing don't pretend you don't know, he must have complained times without number. See you at the other side of happy home.

You clearly hate these submissive women for you to give such advice to this one whose husband literally flaunts his disloyalty towards her! 😶😶😶😶

[quote author=TouchNfollow post=136703893]➜Video

Chai! She decided to drink hyp0 because of wetin guy do am! 😫🙂‍↔️ pic.twitter.com/rVfWMc4fLh

— TENIOLA (@Teeniiola) September 5, 2025

heartbreak is merely the rod that broke the camel's back and not the real reason behind her actually deciding to end it all. Depression has ways of terribly messing with people's brains.

isyourboy:
➜I don’t know how much those schools charge. But if they charge $5k in Nigeria of today, no one will go there

Why? Why does someone who pretends he wants to earn an advanced degree not even have an idea of how much it costs to earn such a degree, even in Nigeria? It does not make sense. Are you attention trolling?

SeeWahala:
➜Why is it that anytime I see your posts I always picture you typing with one hand and puffing weed with the other one?

It is probably what you imagine your relatives and those around you also do that, so you quietly project it on others.

Women, please stop marrying controlling men. Your worth comes down to whether they can control you or not. And the end is never good as your beings are reduced to near nothing by all of that control. Go ask your mothers and grandmothers for details on that.

isyourboy:
➜So, Nigerians attending UI, OAU, UNIBEN pay up to $5000 in tuition?

So, you have not even done your own research as far as these things, but are sure that a PhD is what you desire? Come on naw! Are you trolling or something?

Nnamdipapa:
➜I have a nephew who is in the finals of UoPeople and also a student at FUTA Akure

Cool!

paragon10:
➜ I dey tire for your matter kobo. So you are not aware that before dangote sited his refinery in Nigeria,he carried out a market survey and the primary market is the Nigerian market. Why site a business where you don't depend on the consumers from that place. What's the rationale behind such move?

And in your mind, the market survey the man did left him dependent solely on Nigerians buying his products, right?... Like I said before, you matter don tire person completely! 🥱🥱🥱

Nnamdipapa:
➜Sorry I am in the wrong here. I went back to UoPeople website and realized it is tuition free indeed. My apologies.

You should be advertising this to everyone you meet out there so they can work towards getting a degree that is so many times cheaper than what is currently obtainable in Nigeria today. I wish Nigerians had access to Libraries where they could go to access the internet and study for free, even if for a couple of hours each day.