₦airaland Forum

blesdman:
➜This is because u are copying western idea of marriage. With African idea of marriage, u will act properly

. Copying it how? The majority of Africans who are done with the idea of marriage were themselves raised in traditional homes and some polygamous setups. How is any of that Western in orientation?

ChizzyBuna:
➜Popsi and everyone at village has been pressuring me to marry and give them grandkids. I'm 34 this year and still single. I just recently moved into an apartment So the hunt for finding a wife has begun. How do I find a wife? Where should I go to find a good wife?

A 34-year-old man trying to marry a wife, not because he wants one himself, but because he is supposedly being bullied into marrying one by people who wouldn't be there to bear the ramifications of his decision. Na the woman wey go become his victim I pity pass!

TOPCRUISE:
A Gold digger combining her attitude of Witchcraft

A gold digger goes after yacht owners and men who own large hotels, etc.; your phone is not an indicator of how rich you are. I suspect this lady was simply trying to avoid dating down. Past experience may be to blame.

Firstcitizen:
➜So marriage is a business agreement where one party splits his wages and the other party keeps hers. Smh

You are not making any sense! The other party keeps hers, how?

[quote author=Morbeta11 post=136690491]Video

Abroad-based Nigerian couple celebrate their wedding anniversary in grand style😭😂 pic.twitter.com/xNjZ2U7XL2

— CHUKS 🍥 (@ChuksEricE) September 4, 2025

woman looks like she was roped into it... is it some sort of trend?

ayusco85:
➜It's not that serious. If you want her to dash you don't use the word borrow. If u borrowed from her try and pay her, let it be on record. If u don't want to use the word borrow find a more befitting word to use to collect some small money from her then. It's all about effective communication

Thank you very much for this! 😊

paragon10:
➜even if he has sisters and aunts, should that in anyway stop him from saying the truth. Men are now facing reality... You women should bring value. It's no longer business as usual

....

Tenrack:
Omo this talk dey really pepper you for body. You go dey aiight. Whether you like it or not men are waking up. No go get BP o. Shalom

Which men are facing reality? OP's friend, who dated and impregnated a woman five times, after which he then labeled her a liability, probably for not being able to juggle five kids and a business she likely had no previous experience working at?

Or is it OP who thinks that after paying bride price — which no one is really forced to pay by the way —a woman should never be able to afterwards claim a part of any of the dividends or successes in what is her own marriage?

Na una mama I go blame for not giving you all basic education as far as the place of a woman in her own marriage and her rights therein.

Rexymania:
➜The thing is, marriage without money is hell. Marrying a promiscuous woman is hell fire

. What has a promiscuous woman to do with anything? Some of the most successful men out there are married to those women you lot regard as promiscuous women, and they are doing great even at that.

This is all while you, non-promiscuous women, are eventually labeled as liabilities or accused of disrespect by your husbands for this side. Continue!

The problem begins with the fact that your mothers, for one reason or another, did not reach out to correct these notions you have of the status of a woman in marriage in time. If you had known from time that marriage is a type of business agreement between a man and a woman were both typically contribute — financially, emotionally, physically(via labor and more). etc.—consistently to the success of the marriage and the individuals in the marriage, you would have no need to ask these silly questions.

LoneSoldier:
➜Dear esteemed men, why will a woman you married that has nothing, came from a poor background, have the audacity to say, "I made my husband what he is today, I was with him when he had nothing" why this said man worked for his money without your efforts, is this not entitlement mentality......
➜Another thing I have observed around marriage is the fact that a man's money is always a woman's money, why a woman's money is only for her self only, is this not greed.....
➜Why the hell will I pay 1.5M to 2M for bride price just for a useless liability that has nothing to offer me in the long run, except high BP, I will always say it marriage is the biggest scam in this world.......
➜Most of the married men, are all crying silently, because if they knew what marriage really is they won't have gotten there self into it, marriage is a path to slavery......
➜I know two friends my age, suffering from marriage wahala, one came to me yesterday and was explaining his ordeal with me, telling me how his wife is good for nothing and a liability and had it been he knew, he would have remained a bachelor like me, I just smiled, I wanted to convince him to divorce, but he has five kids with his wife already..... But I will still tell him to do the needful....
➜So dear esteemed men be careful out there, so you don't make a terrible mistake...... Remember we are Kings..... Bachelor For Life

1. She says that because she has every right to claim a part in the success that is the marriage and its dividends.

2. A man's money is typically considered the dividend of the marriage when the man is the sole provider in the marriage. That should be a no-brainer, really. If the man were a partial provider, the case would be entirely different. If a woman can take care of her responsibilities in the marriage and also make time to earn more on the side, that is typically when her money is regarded as her own. It all depends on the agreement between the man and woman, really. 🥱🥱🥱

3. Marriage is a choice... it has always been a choice. If you don't want to pay 1.5M for a woman, then don't. It is that simple. Look elsewhere for a woman whom you can afford somewhere else. Don't play victim. That is a kind of mental illness! 🥱🥱🥱

4.a. Your friend, with eyes wide open, chose to marry a woman who had no job and no established skills of her own. What did he expect? For the marriage fairy to transform her into a dazzling career woman after marriage? Is your friend a reptard? 🥱🥱🥱

4.b. Well, tell him to divorce the woman; however, that woman will do well to make sure that she gives full custody of all five kids to the man, since they are his kids anyway. When he was busy making them, where were these thoughts of this woman being a liability then? He produced 5 kids and is now suddenly screaming that a woman with 5 children he made her have is a liability? 🥱🥱🥱

Please tell your friend's wife to come online make she come tell her own side of the story.

5. Please go back to your mother for the lessons you missed out on, and also visit your friend's wife to hear her side of the story. In this day and age, you can't really think yourself a king if you can't even reason simple things such as these for yourself. 🥱🥱🥱

abbey621:
➜Pity yourself, my woman is very happy to work and not live life like a leech!
➜ Most men can cook baisc foods, a bachelor would only need a small apartment to survive, so all in all he's still going to save more money. Being a wife does not mean you shouldn't have goals or a career,
➜ imagine in 2025 still thinking you need an allowance from a man to survive.....SHAME!

1. Tell her to come online, make we ask her directly, abeg!

2. Sure, it's OK, you could cook as a bachelor, but the point of my previous post was to get you to see that as a bachelor, the responsibility was on you to ensure those needs were met, and if you paid for those needs, the cost would not have been free even then. Now, if after marrying, you have conveniently offshored that labor— all those hours and efforts you had to put in to meet those needs— to your wife in marriage, are you wanting us to believe that she is a source of free labor? What else does she do for free in marriage?

3. I think the one who should be ashamed is the one using another man's child as a source of free labor in the name of marriage. If her own father gave her allowance even when she probably did occasional chores in the house as a child, why should her husband think she does not deserve an allowance as a wife with all she does in the home? Tufiakwa!

SAMBARRY:
➜Lmaoo these are the types of women many of you men deserve this days You will see church girls,o this one na retired olosho. Na because she dey find husband she come
➜[b]You see reserved and homely good girl.[/b]this one no know anything she no get sense.make I just run am street,f#k her once ot twice,give am belle and japa. Career woman this one no go dey submissive. Make I just chop her money and pretend to love her
➜ So as all the girls don dey damaged finish you're left with no choice than to settle for baddies and vultures. You truly deserve the women you get.many of you don't appreciate, respect or value decent women with morals and the ones wey still get shame.na the shameless ones wey dey shake yash for Internet, druggies and chain smokers una dey always hype.

1. Why is she an Olosho when she is not harming anyone with what are her personal choices? We need to quit labeling women who don't hold on to our equally ridiculous standards as bad women. She simply has more men after her and chooses to rangle them the best way she knows to.

2. You mean the reserved and homely victims girls whom men love to keep as wives at home while they go out running after this very kind of girl you label as bad? Stop turning girls into fodder for men whose major desire is to use them for free labor to build themselves all so they can continue to go after and enjoy girls like the OP.

3. This girl is the main type of girl many Nigerian men prefer; the submissive, humble, nice girls —wife materials—are instead girls men love to use as slaves and victims, or as someone called them, wife appliances, mined for free domestic labor and additional banging.

scrupulousblog:
➜He is not her father for crying out loud. Your analogy is very flawed.

It is flawed because you reason that a wife is a provider of free labor in a marriage— a slave— and therefore has no reason to share in the dividends of what is her own marriage— not entitled to a regular allowance/upkeep/pocket money, etc.—, abi? She does not deserve to receive a regular allowance from her husband's salary by virtue of her being the caretaker/house help/nanny/cook/personal assistant/laundry maid/bang maid/ etc., in the marriage?

press9jatv:
✓ she expressed herself and what she does to her body, you are here defending her ignorantly

Did she tell you anywhere in her comments that she needs your opinion or advice on how to use her own body or life? Again, who installed you as Monitoring Spirit over her life and decisions as an individual?

press9jatv:
so you celebrate her on what she says here. Irukiru 😠😠😠

Who installed you monitoring Spirit over what she can or cannot do with her life and body? 🥱🥱🥱🚫

press9jatv:
but she will grow to mother status when she gave birth to baby. But see what she turns herself into

What in the world are you rambling about?

stainzvill:
You never see anything, u wan try female gender

This ain't about gender. This is literally about common sense. You are legally required to pay back loans, not pretend they are written off when you give what you pretend is a gift 🥱

I can imagine you all thinking that making a donation to an organization means money you may owe the same organization should be written off by that.

EmmyMaestro:
Man shares how a lady rejected him over his phone model, only to suddenly warm up after discovering his status at a party.

She wanted to be certain she did not engage a man below a certain status. What is wrong with that?

press9jatv:
I don't know who can satisfy Nigeria ladies especially the none virgin ones.

Does that include mother? Is she not a Nigerian lady?

Hhh4444:
➜I swear,women are wired differently. I have experienced this before. I wanted to buy food for my gal. I asked to make transfer for the payment but they said they didn't accept transfer. Only cash or debit card. I didn't have ATM,the cash with me was only #5000,not up to 5.5k I needed. I asked her to borrow me 500,and she did. Could you imagine she kept reminding me of her 500 even after I gave her something worth much more than that. Since day I tire for their matter

. Why is your brain wired to think that if you give a person a gift, then that person should write off any loans you took, though? That is a problem!

She gave you Naira 500, and you had no idea how long or how hard she had to work to get that money; you concluded that since you can dole out Naira 5000, she should be able to give out Naira 500. Why? Don't force people to give up what they don't have to give. Let them decide on their own when to do that.

CoolAmbience:
➜I hear you. I have a different perspective, experience and understanding of love within the realm of our women. Hubby owes you N4000 and dashes you N100,000, and to prove his love, abi your love for him, you demand the N4000 he owes, and he pays you. Such wonderful love!

Where did hubby get this money wey im dash the wife from?

Firstcitizen:
➜Chai, " Buy anything you like with it" means it was at the man's discretion not a pre-agreed allowance hence it was a gift.
➜ Wait so marriage is a union where the man's salary is shared to the other party as dividends of the union.
➜ Wow! What happens to the woman's salary then where she was able to lend 4k from? This is unbelievable

1. Wrong!

➜ The money is listed as money meant for her upkeep, and it came from money earned by her husband from his salary during the marriage. It is hers, not a gift. A gift would maybe come from money that the man had before the marriage, which is typically kept separate account from the account from which marriage-related expenses should come.

Also, if my boss gives me my salary at the end of the week or month and adds that I should buy anything I like with it, it does not change anything of the fact that that money is what is due to me, does it?

2. Yes! Marriage has always been a business agreement between a man and a woman.

3. Aren't you assuming the woman had absolutely no savings at all when she came into the marriage?

SIRTee15:
➜What did Paul and the other apostles get for giving their life for the cause of the faith?

Paul and the other apostles were not Christians; Christianity was sourced from the Roman attempt at hijacking the movement that belonged only to the Israelites.

As for what Paul and the apostles gained for choosing a career as followers of Jesus Christ of Israel, we are made to believe His followers would gain exactly all He, Jesus Christ of Israel, said in His Gospels that they would in this life and the one after it.

abbey621:
➜What free labor? Man pays for the shelter, pays for food and other bills, that's not enough for the perceived free labor you provide?
➜ If you were by yourself won't you provide all these things? He does not owe you any allowance; whatever he gives you is a privilege not a right. If you want unquestionable money, get a damn job!

1. Na the women wey dey marry your kind I dey pity pass.

2. Why didn't the man simply remain by himself then and hire other people to take care of the other needs? I know that hiring a cook and a cleaner alone — legal routes now —would probably cost you more than that 100K and then some, in addition to you still paying for shelter, food, and other bills.

Firstcitizen:
➜Wait so you have no issues with a woman lending 4k to her husband when he was in need but gladly accepts a gift from him of 2,500%. Is there a rule that says getting money from a woman should be by lending basis? Is it a crime for a woman to give her husband an allowance when he us down?
➜ The kind of entitled minds we have these days is mind boggling.
➜ Now that said, the issue here is there was a verbal contract which remains unfulfilled and the man is liable. The right thing to have done is pay back only the 4k plus 500 naira interest rather than the unappreciated show of chivalry by gifting 100k.

1. Again, the OP says the money for her upkeep; it is not a gift but her share of the dividends of the marriage, which in a poor man's case is usually the salary the man makes while married to the woman.

2. The entitled mind here is the man thinking that the upkeep money he gives his wife is a gift and not actually what she deserves.

3. Again, the woman in a marriage is not a source of free labor to the man. She is a partner and hence entitled to a share of the dividends of the marriage, i.e., the man's salary. So, the 100k was not a gift, but money due her. She is also a human being and deserves to have her own money, her own savings, as she has her own dreams, etc. Her being a wife does not mean she should not get her share for all of her sweat. And that share is not a gift.

engrelvis:
➜lf ur owing a man 4k but give him 100k as gift he will forget that 4k.Believe me.
➜ We r logical. Women are not.

A woman does not have to be stewpid because men are.

2. What you described isn't logical, though.
➜ First of all, what the man in the OP gave the woman was not a gift but her allowance... her share of the dividends of the union. Think of it as a sort of salary.
➜ Second, the OP says the man owed the woman Naira 4k, which he did not pay back.

If that woman were to appear before a court with that man to collect her 4k, the courts, the seat of logic for our society, would require that the man pay her the money he owes her. That is what would logically happen.

Therefore, your idea of what constitutes logic is completely upside down and maybe twisted on itself, too.

Fido24:
➜The Atheist do not have any spiritual contention to their wellbeing or prosperity, in fact evil forces assist them to succeed unsolicited why? to deceive them to believe that indeed there is no God.
➜But anyone who acknowledges God as being God and Jesus Christ as his savior will in turn suffer unwarranted attacks from these evil forces just to discourage him from believing in God. Palms 73 : 1 to the end

This postulation of yours makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

2. OMGosh! Nonsense! So, anyone who chooses your Christian god is promised a life of suffering? 🙄🙄🙄🙄

davidtemi:
Ok

Think about it!🤔

You said you gave all the nurses the same gift. What does she gain from deducting Naira 10 from her own gift to give back to you in that case? Plus, if she didn't collect Naira 10 from you, she would be short on profit for the day and would have to source the money from somewhere else, maybe even resort to selling one of the bottles of malt she got from you for less than it is worth. That isn't good for business.

essentialone1:
➜I wish this was a platform like Facebook. To block you completely dey hungry me.

Na women wey dey get themselves entangled with people of your mentality I dey always pity pass!

davidtemi:
➜Sincerely I was expecting it. That it was even a small boy that drunk the water. Na just #10 oo😳
I then have her 1k I swear she gave me #990 change

. Learn to pocket sentiments when it comes to business dealings.

israelmao:
➜There is no single sense in your self-designed financial literacy either.

Financial literacy is a course you actually take, not designed by me.

paragon10:
➜if anybody is owing me 4k and gifts me 100k, shame will not allow me to ask for my 4k again.
➜If he remembers to pay,then it's fine. If he doesn't,I will write off the debt automatically. I don't know how you guys reason here

That is you! Most successful business-minded people out there know that if they give in to shame, it will be their ruin, and no one to blame for it except themselves.

2. Na your kind people dey like loan money from.

Raregem9000:
➜I'm asking you a question based on your comment that the money the man gave the woman was for the domestic duties and the man must pay the 4k he borrowed.
➜ In the scenario I gave you now, should the man still give her the 4k after the gift?

I didn't say that, though. I instead made it clear that the woman deserves a share of the dividends from the marriage, the same as the man. And yes, if the man took a loan from the woman, he should rightly pay it back to her.

2. What part of a loan, regardless of the situation, should be repaid did you not understand? The scenario you posted clearly indicates the man's choice in his union. His choice is not by default her choice. And as I suggested, you should probably go listen to the man give you his reasons for his choice.