₦airaland Forum

bazoodo:
Hello everyone. What are your views on this? Can you marry a 38 year old lady? What's your take? Thank you

Tell us exactly what is wrong with you, @OP?

Putindbutt:
➜Of course, naturally girls are prepared to become wives, mothers and caretakers
➜ just as society prepares the boys to become husbands, fathers and breadwinners.
➜I'm sure you must have seen tons of videos on TikTok of women appealing to be married and lamenting of being single.

1. Stop telling these lies! There is nothing natural about society treating girls differently from boys—training them to become wives, mothers, housekeepers, etc. This is societal training— what amounts to brainwashing in most cases, given that girls who rebel are treated as outcasts—, not nature at work.

2. Letting boys run free and wild is preparing them to become husbands, fathers, and breadwinners? Come on!

3. That is understandable, given, again, that most women are trained from as far as when they were toddlers to believe their salvation in life lies in being married. With that much brainwashing, there is no were I would expect otherwise. —

Thundafireseun:
Truth be told the mom has ulterior motives…. She just laid a trap and was praying for the guy to make just one wrong move…. The daughter might stay at home forever with her mom and that’s the mom’s plan

Better she stays home forever— keep her freedom and individuality— than end up regretting a horrible marriage experience.

PlasmaTV:
➜The mother has no right to call off the engagement. At best, she can advise the daughter. PS: I'm not condoning what the man did in any way. It's best it was probably called off. But the mother wasn't in her right.

Seems clear the girl accepted her mother's decision, meaning she was not against her mother deciding on her behalf.

guobe:
➜Some couple of months ago, I raised a post on how the most intelligent boy in my secondary school days defrauded a bank of multimillion naira and ran away without a trace.
A class mate of ours then just told me that he was told by another of our classmate that he is dead and that he died 2 months ago in South Africa where he ran to and hid . Fraud does not pay as there are curses and repercussions that comes with it. Adueu. Previous thread https://www.nairaland.com/8034525/how-most-intelligent-student-secondary

Which kain oponu post be this? You didn't ascertain the cause of death or any detail, but concluded that curses and repercussions were to blame for the supposed death?

Religion is a scam wrought against human intelligence.

AntiChristian:
No wonder thousands of church denominations exists today with each trying to spread their tentacles everywhere as much as possible....

It is the same with all religions, including Islam. So many different versions and interpretations of what Mohammed supposedly said(or did not say) keep popping up even to this day. The many lies and deceitful tactics of religion are from its very foundation.

Jozilinn:
what's op

Original poster or original post.

Sharpsharp00123:
➜mtcheew All these indomie generation kids. I can bet u are talking about 2000 upward.
In d 1990's na your parents go even buy can go school which is normal, then we had few private schools but public schools were still standard not like today's own.U indomie generation shouldn't talk here cos u people didn't go to school but went to play. School wey Una no dey repeat no matter how blank head u are School wey na your teachers dey help u do everything

I attended primary school beginning in the early to mid 80s. I was among the first set of kids at NNPC Staff School Mosimi, Sagamu. Does that make me an indomie kid, too?

This issue is not a generational issue, but a mentality issue. Stop desperately trying to make it what it ain't.

OP and his particular obsession with sex are legendary.

Psoul:
➜Yes.... It's easier to explain than a random girl or even your girlfriend dying in your house.
Unless there have bn controversies surrounding a man or his wealth, that is when it will look a bit hard for him to explain the death of his wife.
➜For random girl or his well known girlfriend, even if her parents know that she has terminal sickness and unfortunately she die in her boyfriend's house, the guy don't enter into big sh!t. Even if she died in the road coming or leaving your house, you'll still have questions to answer, if her phone log shows that you're the last person she visited or invited her to come.

This here makes no sense to me. What exactly are you explaining, abeg? A person supposedly died, and all you need to explain is what part you had or did not have in the death. Simple! Why be telling god-awful stories when it ain't necessary. 🙄🙄🙄

2. What does it matter what the person's parents think or want to reveal? Na parents dey decide when and where a person fit die or go die? Abegi! 😫😫😫

Hhh4444:
Lol,this man again ...you sure say you dey this Nigeria?

There are so many people in Nigeria, even foreigners, who Nigeria never happens to. You know why? They know the worst thing they can do to themselves is to begin to think as Nigerians do, and for good reason, too.

okunwaye:
➜We get locked up for life after An autopsy has been carried out and the result confirms she died from natural causes right?

If you get locked up in that case, then know that it is the fault of your village people and not because you did anything wrong, at least!

If there is no evidence linking you directly to the death, and you are still being pushed as the culprit, then sue the officers for fraud.

chccho:
➜Go and read again, read slowly and comprehend properly. I have answered your question long time ago. Otherwise, u might have to go back and learn English comprehension

Look at this one still running around like a hamster on a wheel with this.

Teymanhenry:
➜You didn't read where I said physical violence is never acceptable right? Don't jump into conclusions pls

LOL.... you didn't read the part where in the OP it clearly stated that the gang up from her brothers came after the man disrespected and humiliated his wife by way of beatings, turning the marriage toxic? Nonsense! 🙄🙄🙄

bukatyne:
➜Well, AI is not required to know that marriage is an institution created to serve men.
The only thing is that religion e.g. Christianity & Islam put a number of guidelines (that if followed), makes the service worthwhile and creates a beautiful institution.

You instead mean that religion put its guidelines in to make the fairytale/lie seem more plausible all while adding additional burdens on the women to ensure their minds remain entangled and controlled in the marriage, right? Religion is a scam, and it cannot give people anything worthwhile other than more delusions to further weigh their minds down with.

As for video, even the AI did state that marriage, as it has been sold to women over the centuries, is a scam. Meaning that marriage was never originally the scam that many bulk against today. But, an institution that has been reduced over time by the many lies of society/tradition, and religion to seem so.

Putindbutt:
➜No at all, the society doesn't socialize girls to obsess over marriage rather they chose it.
➜ Try and attend the next wedding close to you this weekend and see the joy on the bride's face, singing and dancing all over the place. Until you open up your mind and let go of past heartbreaks, to experience such moments

1. This is obviously a lie! Girls are raised differently from boys in much of society, but why? Because they are believed to have a different role to play in society when they come of age, and that role is to serve as wives, mothers, and caretakers in the homes. That brainwashing of the female gender begins very early in their lives and continues on until death, with most never breaking out of it.

2. See curated joy?

stillmaticOG:
➜If your wife dies abroad, you think they will just lock you up? They will bring you in for questioning and let you go home but with travel restrictions. An autopsy would be conducted almost immediately. Once the result confirms it wasn't murder, you would be allowed to walk.

The same would apply whether na wife or girlfriend, or a stranger. So?

Fujiyama:
^^^ No it isn't. Their abuse of power covers all areas. But since the topic is death of an adult female while in the company of an adult male, that's what most responses on the thread have focused on.

So, the problem then isn't the identity of the deceased but rather abuse of power? So, why suggest that there exists a difference in whether the woman in question was a wife or girlfriend, or stranger?

RealityKings1:
➜For the number 2 point, People fall in love (which is genuine) and people fall out of love. Its nothing strange, what matters most is how one is able to handle the situation.

Well, if people can fall in and out of love, many times a one lifetime, then why attach so much importance to what may be a fleeting experience? You claim the experience can be genuine and I am like, who defines genuine or how does one define genuine in this case?

For instance, Mr A & Miss B fell in love and got married less than 3 months after meeting. One year later, both got divorced. From your previous comment, that fleeting connection Mr A & Miss B had for a short while should hold a very important place in their lives. If Mr A considered his experience genuine— he thought he did his very best in the marriage—, whereas Miss B considered it just another bad experience—she felt disrespected and belittled by her partner in it— to add to her list of other disappointments, which one of them is right and who is wrong? Why?

RealityKings1:
➜Having a child changes alot of things and it's a beauty that is out of this world. Child birth is strange but unique.
➜Also having a spouse you can share things with most especially discussion is very important.
➜ It might not change the core aspects of who you truly are but it will certainly improve your thought process

1. It changes a lot of things, yet many women go on to either kill or abandon their babies, some as soon as they are born, some later on. And this is your idea of beauty that is out of this world?

2. Well, that may be important to some people, but it isn't to all. If having a spouse was that great, the divorce/spousal abandonment rates wouldn't be as high as it is today, would they?

3. Are you telling me all those out there in marriages, including those stuck in relationships going nowhere, all have far improved thought processes as a result of being married?

Why do we like telling these silly lies, abeg? 🙄🙄🙄

RealityKings1:
➜Relationships always have to do with commitment. Some people don't buy the idea of commitment because they have other dreams to chase.
I think you have ambitions and dreams to chase. But the again, for the female, life is centered on procreation and having a partner to talk to. You need to understand communication is very important to pass through the phases above

That there statement is far from reality. There are females out there in your Nigeria, who, if they had been born into saner climes, would not have bothered with procreation or the having of a partner. That society focuses on indoctrinating females into believing their lives ought to be centered on procreation, and the having of a partner cannot change the core aspects of who they truly are.

Jozilinn:
✓ For just a one day thing besides the my sis said it's okay to collect it every weekend as there are still few things that needed to be transferred.
✓ No one was feeling entitled to her phone in the first place,she should stop disturbing us about them not returning it simple.

It is her phone, not family property. Your elder sister said it's okay to collect it every weekend yet your OP says otherwise?

2. Tell her not to disturb you with whining but still it is her phone to do with as she pleases.

Fujiyama:
➜^^^ Yes, if I read you correctly. The police will abuse their power/authority and eat the man raw.

But this abuse of power by the Nigerian police is not limited to possible homicide cases. So?

chccho:
➜It's obvious u didn't read and comprehend properly my last response, if u did u will see that I already answered your question

Your struggle with lack of comprehension has nothing to do with me. Your previous post claimed that couples fight and sometimes get violent, as though to excuse violence. What you never did was answer the question that I asked, which is if the woman had flogged that man black and blue, would you equally suggest that marriage is salvageable?

Fujiyama:
➜^^^ Some of the reasons for these legal troubles were addressed in earlier posts.
In countries that work, there won't be legal trouble if foul play isn't suspected - whether the deceased is a wife or a girlfriend (we are putting moral arguments about extra marital or pre-marital sex aside for now). But in this country, a distinction will be made by the police - for reasons that have already been stated. It is what it is.

You mean illegal problems, right?

Teymanhenry:
➜In such situations, the dynamics can be challenging. While physical violence is never acceptable, the woman might continue disrespecting her husband if she feels protected by her brothers' presence. This could lead to a toxic environment, with the husband feeling threatened, disrespected, or disinterested in the marriage. In such cases, prioritizing happiness and well-being might mean considering separation or counseling to address underlying issues. A healthy relationship is crucial for a fulfilling life.

When the man initially beat his wife, that was not an act of disrespect? He turned the marriage toxic the moment he felt to disrespect her by hitting her, but you are busy trying to shift the blame here onto her brothers. Why?

Fujiyama:
➜^^^ The death of a girlfriend or a casual female acquaintance in a man's house? Yes that spells trouble.
The death of a wife in the same house with her husband? This isn't the same as the above. Once there are no obvious signs of foul play and the woman's family is satisfied that she wasn't murdered, the man will probably be released to bury his wife. But then again, this is Nigeria so anything can happen.

I don't follow your logic at all!😏

If there are no signs of foul play in the case that the girl was a girlfriend or acquaintance, what legal troubles could come from that?😐😐😐

NairaMaster1:
➜So, if your wife dies in your house you would be arrested? Na wa for your brain ooo

This is 2025! Engage your brain, abeg!😏

If a person, even your wife, dies in your house, you will be interogated/questioned— or at least should —in the case she did not die of natural causes, i.e., old age. If any suspicious detail is found, you will more than likely be arrested and maybe even prosecuted.

phorget:
✯How can a dead wife become an issue? Are you insinuating that men should not be sleeping under the same roof with their wives cos of such an unforseen circumstances?

I am sorry, but I don't understand your line of reasoning at all.

Jozilinn:
➜My elder sis gave out her phone to my neighbor kid because the mum said he needs it due to the BECE examination for jss3. That after examination he will return it.
Now the other issue is that my cousin sister kids who are little use that phone for movies and cartoon.
But still we agreed to give them my cousin sister wanted to go to PTA and asked the boy to give it to her then it was already Friday evening as per say weekend no school. Saturday they'll have PTA she didn't want to take the kids so they'll be busy on the phone.
My elder sister came home and saw the phone with her kids no greeting, she refuse to even accept greetings... In front of the woman other 2 kids inside she started shouting why did you collect the phone, what will their mother think? Is it your own it's mine leave the phone.
➜ My cousin sister tried to explain next she started crying and she started saying did she do anything wrong to it was just for 1 day... From the incidence she started crying then she cried herself to sleep saying the insult that my elder sister said to her in language that she was a burden and very soon she would be do everything to make her leave. I finally asked her not to go and took a plea on her behalf because the next morning her eyes were swollen.
➜ From that day onward the mother of the boy brings food stuff we even reject some at times... Now since 2weeks examination has been done and dusted nobody from my neighbors house has come to return this phone... My cousin sister was warned at work after she explained everything to remove her mind for the phone and give her kids hers... She told them why she doesn't give her kids. Because the screen was pulling out but she will try to get them a little children tab. My elder sister is complaining saying next time they'll Come for it. Her boyfriend was so angry he wanted to collect it but she started saying it's hers then he told her he doesn't want to hear her complaint period.

1. Your cousin-sister is in the wrong. The phone does not belong to her. She had no right to then go collect it from the neighbor whom the owner gave it to. Your cousin-sister should apologize to your elder sister. Boundaries exist for a reason, and your cousin-sister overstepped them.

2. Crying does not make her faults disappear in this. She is not a child and should know not to act in the manner that she did.

3. Allow the person wey get phone handle her own matter, abeg!

This obsession with sex... religion is indeed something else.

chccho:
➜Common sense will tell u 2wrongs can never make a right. Couples fight and at times it gets violent,
➜ but[b] they still find a way to remedy the situation[/b], and save the marriage so what's your headache?? Now that her brothers have beaten hell out of the husband, will u marry their sister?

1. All this so you can avoid answering the question I asked earlier? Again, if the woman had been the one who beat up the husband— the wife was the assailant while the husband had been the victim—, would you have also deemed the marriage salvageable then too?

2. The moment one partner physically assaults the other, the relationship is over; what is left is an emotionally parasitic relationship where one partner, usually the assailant, holds the upper hand over the one who was the victim of the assault.