₦airaland Forum

Blitzking:
➜Wetin dey pain pass na good man wey marry bad wife...the fact say person wife good no mean say e go still good..so ticket fit still cut at any time.

Well, a good husband material can make bad decisions too, but that shouldn't stop him from being a good husband material, now, should it? 😏

If you want a good wife, work on being that good husband material you want a good wife to be attracted to — realize that even flies are attracted to good things, while you are at it. At the same time, shine your eyes so you will be able to spot the good women in the crowd. 🤓🤓🤓

malaria:
➜Dear poster one can get a good wife In a club and a bad wife in a church, Another may find a bad wife in sm and a good wife in market . Life has no rules live yours the way you want it . Its all about choice

. One thing these posters will rarely ask you to do is for you to strive to become the better husband whom the better wife you seek would be attracted to. Anything that places the burden back on the man himself is almost always frowned upon by Nigerians, I have noticed.

Kaczynski:
➜Go back to the village there are a lots of babes there , sweet plum and still fresh. find one mould am to your taste. or enter any of northern states christians full there , date any girl from the north . most of them never corrupt parse southern girls and they're very yummy speaking from xp

I am suddenly reminded of the story of the 18-year-old boy who impregnated about 8 girls in his village. So, township abi na city bongafish men should go back to the village to find themselves these sweet plums and still-fresh women, abi? Una no dey ever learn, that na una major problem. 😂😂😂😂😂

Rexymania:
You post problems you no give us solutions. Na where we go see good wife?

He literally tells you there are no good places to find a good wife, same as there are no good places to find good husbands. It ain't about the place. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Blitzking:
➜Looking for good wife na like playing 2 odds with your future..e fit enter and e fit cut.

Focus on ensuring you are first a good husband material in order to better your odds.

NEWBIN:
➜There is a man my wife has been talking to
The last time I checked, he messaged my wife with the heart ❤️ emoji. When my wife raised concerned about the use of the heart emoji the man replied that it was because he loved her. My wife indicated that she didn't want that emoji. Meanwhile she keeps chatting him and calls him regularly. Recently she told him that I had travelled. Can I trust my wife? What's your advice

Why are you asking us these questions when you should be directing your concerns and questions at your wife? Only you two can decide whether it is time for you two to quit the relationship and move on to seek happiness elsewhere. It is OK to realize that you are no longer happy in your current relationship and are probably better off seeking happiness outside of it.

GistMedia0:
➜A wedding in Lagos has stirred massive reactions online and offline, all thanks to the bold fashion choice of the bride. At the center of attention was the bride’s breast-revealing wedding gown, which many have described as daring, controversial, and unfit for such a sacred occasion. While the bride herself appeared unbothered — smiling and dancing joyfully as naira notes rained on her.
The dress, which left very little to the imagination, sparked a debate among onlookers, with several questioning the groom's decision to allow his wife wear such an outfit on their special day. Social media users have since taken the conversation further, with many divided over whether the groom should have permitted such an outfit at all. But despite the criticism, the bride remained the life of the party — dancing with confidence, radiating joy, and clearly unbothered by the chatter.

The vast majority of those commenting don't live in Lagos and can never dream of being invited to such parties. 😏😏😏

jetguy:
BUT every guy's must marry a sensible lady 🤦 E get why

But we know the vast majority of men continue to do exactly the opposite of that. It takes a sensible man to be able to spot a sensible woman.

Starz825:
➜Very true. But the issue once a lady can't marry a rich man like her friend or friends....ahhhm...she go show the man hell....and this social media no dey help.
➜See, just like Warren advised....marry a woman with low expectations....she will give you peace of mind...Low expectations doesn't mean low life ...but a woman who believes and understands life, time and patience.

1. If the man is not happy in marriage, divorce is a reasonable way out.

2. Yet, many men who married women with low expectations ended up divorced by such women or even in hell because of them. So, what does this tell you about your friend Warren?

sparko1:
➜Except he hasn't started a family, he hasn't even decided if he will marry her, how do you start fending for a family when you haven't decided to have one yet.

Your traditional system has the man providing even while courting, though. He is already paying bills, buying her fancy things, etc., all during the courting phase; that is supposed to be how he lures the woman into marriage. I mean it isn't that his charm or character is counted for much in this, since the ultimate goal is to lure the woman into submitting to him in marriage as long as he continues to provide for her and the family formed. If you don't want that, then stay the f-ck away from women who subscribe to that system and those who have children altogether. I mean, this isn't rocket science at all.

I know people who have no intentions of ever getting married, but they date. They do it intentionally by engaging only with other people who equally have no plans of settling down or having kids. There are atheists out there who avoid religious people of any kind of relationship to keep their peace of mind. Do those relationships sometimes fail like every other kind out there? Of course! But that is no reason why not to be intentional about the type of relationships you choose(also the choices you make afterwards). Relationships are meant to be entered into intentionally, with you knowing and accepting all of what they entail, not pretending you were somehow victimized by the reality of things in the particular relationship you chose.

sparko1:
➜ ...Finally, my main contention is love or the joy of being loved by someone, for a single mom, she comes with the hatred and bitterness of her previous relationships coupled with the fact that she's now a mom, she's completely not interested in a man to love, she's interested in a provider only, it's like waking up in a 10 years marriage with children and school fees and everything about the family already on her mind, loving her husband is just a product of how well he behaves at this point, this is the undiluted truth, don't be deceived, a woman can only love one man or one person at a time, if she has a child, you will always be secondary, which of course is not a problem of some men but definitely a problem for most.

1. I skipped over all of the parts of your post that I feel I have adequately responded to so far. Stay away from that which you are not mature enough to handle is simple advice that applies in all works of life.

Pretty much everyone out there, including you, enters into each relationship carrying unresolved baggage from their previous relationships or experiences. So, again, learn to stay away from that which you are not mature enough to handle is simple advice that applies in all works of life so you don't end up winning about how immature you are to others.

Firebox123:
you're not making any sense here brr

It is expected!

Firebox123:
if you say so

This should really be commonsense!

Firebox123:
➜let her find for the real father of the child brr. Can you take care of a bastard

Well, it is for this reason that I say people who reason as you do need to completely avoid single mothers; your responsibility to do so for your good. It is kind of like how racist/tribalistic individuals know to avoid entirely dating people of other races.

MobilityMFR:
➜One should ask, why is she single in the first place. Most women think the man is unimportant until he walks out of the marriage.
➜ I know a friend whose wife (with three male children) sent him packing because she was the one that paid the house rent that year.
➜ Guy man left, now .... regrets everywhere, but guy man has moved on. He sees his children often, but got nothing for the auntie. He's at present filing for divorce.
➜ Word of advice for married women, it's not always green on the other side, there's no issue that married couples can't resolve if there's love in that marriage...my opinion!

Nonsense question! They are single for the exact same reason that you are single. Sometimes relationships don't work out. That it does not work out with you and the last x number of mates does not mean you are necessarily a terrible person.

2. Your friend was a deadbeat dad mooching off his wife for at least a whole year. She is traditionally right to kick him out, given that he was not meeting up with his provider mandate by tradition.

3. He was not a good husband for her does not mean she should sit back tied to him. That your relationship with X that year turned out not to be a good match does not mean X would not find happiness for herself elsewhere, or that you would not find happiness for yourself elsewhere. It simply means you and X were not a good match then and probably never will be. So, divorce is not at all a bad thing.

4. Rubbish! It took her kicking him out for him to get his act together, implying the marriage was never going to work out for both of them, so no need to force it. Nobody deserves to be taken advantage of in a relationship. They are better off going their separate ways; your friend needs to find that woman that he will not need to sit and mooch off of while he continues to support and raise his kids with his ex. Simple!

Firebox123:
DNA test

In your situation, DNA tests kept you from being able to involve the supposed father of your children in their upbringing? How? Did you have a virgin birth or something?

sparko1:
➜Except she wants a father that can provide for two.

Why not? The provider provides for those in the family... that is the traditional system of relationship in Nigeria.

Look, these things are really simple to reason. if you cannot submit to the traditional system of relationships, then avoid it and any situation that will not work for you. Shikena!

lawrenzooo:
➜Regardless of whether she's a single mother or not, most lady wants a man who can provide.

Which is an acceptable standard in a place like Nigeria, where the traditional norm is for the man to be a provider while the woman lives as his dependent, serving his whims.

Floramie:
➜Yes you choose whom to like or hate. I am a single mother but I tell you I never wished for it. I really wanted my marriage to work but I alone can't achieve that. When it happened I was shattered all that matter was my child. This happened for years but now I am healed.I am deliberate about my self. The way I look now you'll think I really wanted to be one but on the contrary it's never my wish.

Not to be insensitive, but why is the father of the child not involved in the raising of his child? Is he a deadbeat dad? Or you never thought to file a case in the courts to mandate his involvement in the raising of the child?

lawrenzooo:
➜Yes she was abandoned by her husband for reasons we're are not sure about(That's why i said she might be a single mother because she has bad character emphasis on "might". The writer of the comment I quoted said when she started showing him her true color he had to run and he concluded by saying run from everything single mother. I'm of the submission that it's not being a single mother that makes a person bad(someone with bad character). A bad person is a bad person regardless of whether you're are a single mother or not and vice versa. So I didn't insinuate that the woman was a bad person or had bad character.

I understand what you are insinuating, just that the writer insinuated that the reason the woman's husband abandoned her had to do with this bad character he came to see in her at the same implying that the child's father also abandoned the child for this reason.

Kaczynski:
➜i am an anti natalist . i advocate for not having kids. its better to have never being born than to have

It is OK if you are anti-natalist, but surely you see the sense in why not all humans need be that which you are otherwise, even you who have already been born — no undoing that fact—would have to unduly for in that case.

Kaczynski:
➜i hope you really find love
➜what do you mean mature??
➜is not it foolishiness satisfying someone when you are unhappy?

1. Here's a simple request. Define love!

2. Not your Nigerian idea of maturity, but rather those who are at least emotionally and socially intelligent enough to unselfishly cater to the needs of the children.

3. Ah, I see! So, is it OK for her to remain unhappy as long as you are happy? Is that how you go about defining this love you have for her...

Techpik:
➜Hello boss. Pls there is a growth in one of my daughter nose and there is whitish like a turmoil in the 2nd nose. we have used many antibiotics, nasal drops and drugs, prescribed by different doctors and pharmacist yet no improvement. and the 2 nose holes with different issues are getting worst. pls do anyone has heard of this before. what can we use.

Prescribed? So, what exactly did the doctors tell you is the reason for the growth in her nose? We need to know what it is called or the reason for it in order to be able to say much about it.

showboy2301:
➜At least you are now restored to factory settings. You are welcome.

Are you certain you are OK upstairs? 😏😏

showboy2301:
➜ You will understand it better when you come to your right senses. Thank you. Feminist isonu.

Ah, I see! Feminists are to blame for the biased and equally illogical generalization you posted earlier. 😩😩😩😩

showboy2301:
➜I think I need to share this story so that we can all learn. I have a female friend, her husband died and she has kids. She told me that her husband was dating different women when he was alive and even got kids outside. So she said she's now alone, taking care of the kids after the death of the husband. Presently she's dating a married man, I asked why she's doing that since she also detest such thing when her husband was alive. She said the man gives her 100k monthly and pays her kids school fees. So she doesn't have to care about any other thing. Now, can you see that women will not want their husbands to cheat but they will cheat with another woman's husband if they have the chance.

Most Nigerian men would not tolerate their wives cheating on them, but that doesn't stop them from cheating, sometimes openly, on their wives either. So what exactly is the purpose of this severely biased tale of yours? What is there to gain with this absurd generalization of yours?

TechToyin:
➜Thank you so much. Sir/Ma. I feel encouraged.

Everything I told you here is exactly what I would have told my 24-year-old self.

Avoid anxiety and worry at all costs. Those stresses are counterintuitive. Focus on your goals while bearing in mind that they do not make you who you are. Rather, they can help improve upon your general quality of life, were attainable, or help push you towards the direction that would better serve you were not. No need to panic over them.

TechToyin:
➜So what do you advice is the way forward?

Continue with your current plan until you are no longer able to or have to adjust it here or there. Take a break if you need to and get back on the path when you can.

TechToyin:
➜The fact that plans are not enough is what is a scaring me. What if my plans don't materialize.

It is quite OK if your plans don't work out since you have the freedom to make new ones or tweak the ones you once had. There is no need to get anxious about that since pretty much all of us end up having to do that like uncountable number of times throughout our lives.

TechToyin:
➜It’s not pride, Sir/Ma. Everyone makes it seem like, at my age and with the fact that I’m a graduate, I’ll be a failure for going back.
➜ All my fellow corps members have big plans, and I’m just there.

But everyone who does that is wrong! No one is a failure because they moved back home at 25, or 30, or 45, or even 50. No, failures are those who refuse to realize that to move forward, they need to take a step or more backwards to realign themselves, or even begin again or change directions.

2. If big plans are all that is needed to succeed in life, then over 170 million Nigerians today wouldn't be mired in abject poverty. You need more than big plans to succeed in Nigeria and in life.

TechToyin:
➜But it looks like I won’t be able to get the job that easily. I hear there’s a lot of competition in the graduate trainee programs.
➜ I don’t want to be hit by a hard reality.
➜ No more alawee. I don’t want to go back to my parents.

I heard that too back in 1998 when I was in college and looking for my first job. And here I am today telling you that it is not your fault, and so you should not let it deter you from applying for jobs anyway or pushing forward with your goals.

2. I am sorry, what?

3. You'd better swallow your pride and move back home with your parents if you need to. Even here in the United States, we all do the same when things get too hard and we need a chance to start over or something. I never understand it when people in Nigeria pretend they are too big to do what even those in advanced nations do.

TechToyin:
➜ Good evening, everyone. I will be 24 years old by July, and I will finish my NYSC by August. I am a graduate of Biochemistry with a 2:1. I served as an administrative assistant at CRUTECH. I have worked as a freelance blog post writer and scriptwriter. I also play around with WordPress and write research papers.
Currently, the phone I'm using is on credit, and I have no savings. I can do data analysis, and I hope to apply for a graduate trainee program in a bank. My plan is to work for a year while I process my scholarship for a master’s degree abroad. However, right now, I am feeling overwhelmed and confused. I need advice—am I on the right path?

The simple answer is yes. You are headed in the right direction towards your current goal.

You have a plan, and in the absence of any other, stick to it.