₦airaland Forum

LordIsaac:
1 Corinthians 13.

Again, first of all, Paul the Jew, the one who is supposed to have written that letter, said absolutely nothing of what you claim. If this marriage love is indeed as selfless as you pretend, then ask yourself, why did Paul the Jew forgo partaking in it? 🙄🙄🙄🙄

I hope you also don't mean the same Jesus Christ of Israel, who also didn't partake in this selfless act of marriage love you supposedly described? Think! Think!! Think!!! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

press9jatv:
before it wasn't like that

It has always been like that— there is no before.

LordIsaac:
➜1 Corinthians 13.
➜ Jesus is Lord!

First of all, Paul the Jew, the one who is supposed to have written that letter, said absolutely nothing of what you claim. If this marriage love is indeed as selfless as you pretend, then ask yourself, why did Paul the Jew forgo partaking in it? 🙄🙄🙄🙄

I hope you also don't mean the same Jesus Christ of Israel, who also didn't partake in this selfless act of marriage love you supposedly described? Think! Think!! Think!!! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

press9jatv:
yes . Everything is transactional now

. It has always been transactional.

LordIsaac:
➜ If it were impossible, Scriptures will not affirm it. I have seen love, and I have been loved...and I have loved. Love someone today!

You religious goons too dey lie! 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Which scripture book affirms what, abeg? Which of your scriptures definitively states that marriage goes hand in hand with selflessness and marriage cannot exist without this thing called selflessness? Na Buddhists note abi na Aphrodite love you dey claim? Nothing selfless about those.

I mean, think! How many men do you know of who have ever married a woman, not for their pleasure but her own?

Brandiebird:
➜Yo! I spoke too soon! Having looked at it. I think it's a genius idea! I wasn't thinking about the practical devision of responsibility! I was stuck on the moral stuff. Thank you Kobo! I love the way your brain works sometimes 😂

Like I said, it is for those who value their peace of mind, and mental health above all the stewpid dramas that may ensue during the rollercoaster that is a relationship. I no wan wait until I almost murder someone abeg! Me...I like to know when it is OK for me to simply walk out and not have to look back 😂😂😂😂😂

LordIsaac:
➜If something is not ubiquitous, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist!

It also doesn't mean it is possible either.

Marriage is entered into by a man and a woman who are looking to selfishly possess each other for personal gain. The man selfishly claims the woman for his own and does so so that he may benefit the most, while the woman also does the very same. To suggest that there is a selfless aspect to the union is to contradict the very reason for the union. This notion that a selfless love is involved in marriage is utter nonsense.

Brandiebird, do take a look at how to create one. https://www.wikihow.com/Relationship-Contract

I would recommend it to anyone considering entering into a serious relationship where peace of mind and maturity are a requirement.

DyshApp:
➜What do you think? Why is there still so much shame around fertility issues in Nigeria? Discussions like this are what we live for! From real-life stories to hot takes on love, marriage, dating, and society — our group is where the gist never ends😂
Want to share your opinion? And hear more unfiltered stories like this? Join our Relationship Group today and let’s talk!(Link in Bio)

The current generation is not ready to move past the culture of shame around fertility. That seems to be the problem. Take the situation with IVF and the religious Nigerians out there. A good number of the testimonies regarding childbirth given in your churches today are the result of IVF— artificial insemination. However, this fact is rarely mentioned during the pulpit testimonials(not even the names of doctors responsible for the miracles are hinted at).

Brandiebird:
➜How is that any different to all the promises made, and sweet nothings whispered in the honeymoon period.
➜ There's no court that will implement the contract because its not legally binding.
➜ Nobody goes into a relationship declaring that they will cheat, lie and steal from you or that you want to be cheated on, lied to etc.

A contract is documented and signed by both parties in the agreement. Your verbal promises and sweet nothings as just that which you could deny, or even convince yourself were never really meant to be believed. The content of a signed, sealed agreement is not easily denied.

2. Court? You don't need a court to implement such a contract. You simply need the agreement of both parties; if penalties are defined in the contract, however, then you may wish to invoke the power of the court if one of the parties attempts to reneg on the agreement.

3. Wait a second... a contract isn't meant to keep anyone from cheating, lying, or any of the sort. No, you can't keep humans from doing what humans would do. A contract instead defines the terms under which the relationship can be defined as valid, and includes possible penalties for violation of the agreement. For instance, a man could indicate that if, during the relationship, the woman is found to have cheated on him, at that point the relationship is terminated and she is liable to pay him Naira 1,000,000 for damages &/or give back all of the gifts he gave her during the relationship. A love contract is merely to state the terms and conditions under which the relationship is to be considered valid or terminated, and what should follow from there.

Brandiebird:
➜How could/do we create this contract? 😂 you just reminded me of Sheldon from the show the big bang theory! He draws up a contract for his girlfriend and his friend. Please elaborate though how would a defined love contract look like? What do you mean?! 😢

Sheldon's idea isn't a bad one. People come up with prenuptial agreements/contracts these days for similar reasons.

Stating beforehand what you will tolerate and/or not tolerate is a good way of drawing out the details of the contract for the relationship. It is also a great way to help one realize when the relationship has indeed ended; If you have it in writing that you will not tolerate cheating from your partner, the moment that agreement is violated you know that the relationship already ended; you would need to consciously blindfold yourself to wish to continue after that, but it is harder to fool oneself when the terms have been predefined.

LordIsaac:
➜Thrown around is different from reality.

Pay attention to your definition of love there.

LordIsaac:
Empathy, care, seeking the others' well-being in all ways conceivable...

My question to you is simple! Even in situations where the word is thrown around, can you realistically give us the number of relationships you have encountered or experienced where those attributes are found in the pure sense? For instance, how many men do you know of who married their wives based on a desire to seek in all conceivable ways, her well-being?

People keep saying things like marriage does not work without love, and when asked to define "love", they put forth ideas that defy even human nature. And I wonder, when folks will begin to realistically approach these things; dump the fairy tale delusions to embrace reality as they ought to.

Marriage is, in and of itself, a selfish endeavor; those who marry do so to claim a higher level of possession over the object of their desire. Both men and women enter into marriage for selfish reasons— they don't want to share the one they love with others. So, saying that marriage is founded on a selfless idea is a crock of bull. 😂😂😂😂

Dzzzz:
➜So watching porn is a crime eh?.The same porn he was watching with you back then,is now a crime,like what do you want ?..You have not even been touched by the harsh unseen problems and you Dey shout for porn?..is he that stupid that he won’t know where to put them porn files that you think the niece would have seen it!..You no wan do bedmatics,you just Dey complain of the sex but using porn as disguise..

Here's a fact! Watching porn does not make you better at sex or in the bed. Same way, watching James Bond movies does not magically transform you into a James Bond clone.

BondRiv:
➜Love gives marriage meaning in the sense that it is what holds it together. It is the foundation.
➜ Anyone heading into marriage without this love I defined and all the elements therein, has no business getting married to that person. It is doomed to fail. Love is the foundation.

1. Love is the foundation but millions of marriages, as I pointed out, lack elements of this very foundation, which you defined earlier. So, how can marriage be said to get its meaning from something that it can exist without?

2. So, this foundation, which you defined, provides the guarantee that a marriage will not fail. Well, I asked you earlier, do you know of any man who married his girlfriend because he fully trusted her and/or had mutual respect for her? We need at least a case study for this claim of yours.

dangermouse:
➜Good to know. Thats why it would be difficult for you.

You think life is easier when your neighbors are fools?

BondRiv:
➜A profound emotional connection between two individuals, characterized by deep affection, trust, mutual respect, and a strong commitment to build a life together , through life's joys and challenges.

But the reports of bad marriages, divorce rates(including rates of abandonment), reveal that the majority of marriages lack these basic ideas you spew here. Essentially, you argue that marriages that are lacking in any of the above have no meaning whatsoever, and these seem to be the vast majority of unions out there.

For instance, how many men do you know who marry their girlfriend because they trust them or have mutual respect towards them?

BondRiv:
➜Check your dictionary.

My dictionary says nothing of what you claim, though. This is why I asked that you define this subjective love of yours, which you suppose gives marriage meaning.

BondRiv:
➜Love is literally the thing that gives marriage meaning. People just spew rubbish these days.

Define this love you speak of?

heykims:
➜Interestingly, all of them are still called by the same God.

According to their own mouth, abi? Na today humans begin to dey lie?

Faposky95:
➜The poverty of the soul is the reason for the majority of problems we have.
Why only marriage.... anything sacred is being attacked yet the exposed on what the Western world has meted Africa, for example, has never been looked into. Who can quantify the amount of value a human alive since birth has spent....?! The air, water, food, and every other thing.....
Promiscuity is for the stagnant soul......sleep with all the holes...men and women..... Your soul will still seek salvation. Marriage came to do so... Like na jeep and house be benefit of marriage....?! Don't be fooled

. This gobbledegook makes absolutely no sense!

Marriage came to quantify the amount of value a human life holds since birth? This value is only realized by those who enter into a marriage. Are you people incapable of reasoning outside of that damaged religious box your brainwashed minds have been carved from, or what?

SeriouslySense:
➜ Love will always exist, its the central theme of creation itself, its the essence of the Creator. [/b]And there have been loving families and homes, and it will continue to exist. It does not matter what we think, [b]Love is what brought us to reality.

Is a murder an act of love? Is rape an act carried out in love? 🙄🙄🙄
If no, then I suggest you kindly stop distracting from and focus on answering the question asked.

1. Again, what proof do you have that it is possible to marry for love—kind, not self-seeking, patient, enduring, love is costly, money cannot buy it? If the majority of what you know is marriage for selfish reasons, then tell us, have you ever in fact witnessed or experienced this marriage for love that you speak of?

2. You claimed that people should or can marry for love, and you define love as a selfless act that focuses on the benefit of others rather than on self. And I am asking you how you came about the conclusion that men can, in fact, marry for this love?

SeriouslySense:
➜I am not denying we mostly marry for gains, i am just saying why do i have to program myself in a certain way, when its also posssbile to marry for love.
➜You are not wrong either. Irrespective of what anyone says, Love is everything and it is only love that will be relevant in death and in the beyond.

1. What proof do you have that it is possible to marry for love—kind, not self-seeking, patient, enduring, love is costly, money cannot buy it? If the majority of what you know is marriage for selfish reasons, then tell us, have you ever in fact witnessed or experienced this marriage for love that you speak of?

2. You claimed that people should or can marry for love, and you define love as a selfless act that focuses on the benefit of others rather than on self. And I am asking you how you came about the conclusion that men can, in fact, marry for this love?

PRINCESSFCFANSs:
➜OK , some people when they are frustrated will just be looking for how to make others share from their frustrations. by sharing negative advice. if love does not work for you , it will work for others.
➜ For God so love the world. God Is Love. Princess Faith Chukwu.

What is love?

2. So, this God's love is the same as man's love in marriage, abi? Can you at least define it?

SeriouslySense:
➜At the end of the day, when we are old, the memories we create is all we are left with, though it may become fleeting and a fading reality, vaporizing to dementia.
When we die as many have reported from encountering near-death experiences, they often say, they became aware of their life experiences, from birth to their death bed, they see the people they held dear, they see their parents, their partners, their children. At the end of the day, when we die, we only cling to love itself.

People like you, who are most disconnected from reality itself, are usually some of the loudest when it comes to talking of things you know absolutely nothing about.

SeriouslySense:
➜ Love is kind, not self seeking, patient, enduring, love is costly, money cannot buy it.
➜ Love builds people up. Personally, i think moeny is good too, seriously. But love is better. It's good to have good finances, good planning, like that. The lack of money can destroy a loving marriage.

You said, "Marry for love." So, tell us, "How many men do you know of who married not for self-seeking purposes?"

2. Again, you said, "Marry for love," and this is how you define this marriage love of yours. So, tell us, "How many men do you know of that married their women to patiently and selflessly build them—dreams, goals, and ambitions in life—up ?" Your definition of love does not meet up with even your cultural ideas of marriage, if you are honest with yourself at least.

SeriouslySense:
➜Love, Love Love, marry for love.
➜Marry because you want to see the best of others, not because you want to gain. If you both want the best for each other it could be pontentially potential

What is love?

How many of the people you know are married for the best of the other and not for their selfish gain?

Bananapill:
➜Lots of this kind do not know what love is. Dem think say love na doking. That's what they know love for.

Tell us... what is love?

Meerahbel:

So, have you moved back to Nigeria since then?

LordIsaac:
➜Empathy, care, seeking the others' well-being in all ways conceivable...

Storyland... In how many relationships where the word "love" is thrown around can you honestly say that you have identified any or all of these in action? 🙄🙄🙄🙄

FiveFootNinja:
➜I see. I got carried away thinking you were teetering towards moral relativism. My bad then.
So you're basically saying that these boundaries in entertainment are NOT based on careful ethical consideration but cultural habit, convenience, psychological distance, and a myriad of other possible reasons.
Does this represent what you're saying better?

Sure!

There was a time in history when different cultures taught it was cool to watch public beheadings and executions. That quickly went out of fashion when those watching realized that there was nothing much keeping their heads from being next on the chopping block. Suffice to say, we no longer find those entertaining now, do we?. 😑😑😑😑

I have never read or heard of a serial killer or murderer ecstatic at the fact of his becoming a target of another murderer or serial killer; even those whose lives are ruled by depravity do not love becoming victims of their depravity.

correctguy101:
➜Funny thing is...Na true and na lie at the same time See ehn, experiences must be different. So try love, if e no work, go for contractual union if you see anyone ready for something similar. It does not even mean that too would work... In fact, try both and if them no work, just kukuma stay on ya lonesome... Such union is never for everyone... Just look for whatever rocks ya boat and leave all these frustrated motivational speakers with their nonsense.

If dem ask you, "what is love?" now, you go begin to dey vomit gobbledegook! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Better engage your brain! Even love is a contract... spelled out, you are better able to gauge its progress. If you leave it up in the air, you will never realize when it actually abandoned you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sY4rhvB9LE?si=JFuVoNp26NzQBt-B

dangermouse:
➜Go tell your neigbours They at least would understand you are not well

I don't have fools as neighbors though!