₦airaland Forum

tunapawizzy:
1. It's ironic that you speak of intelligence while making a sweeping generalization and resorting to insults. If you're trying to sound smart, you're failing badly.
2. The classic "insult when out of depth" tactic. When you're done performing, let us know. And if you can't handle disagreement, stay out of grown-up discussions.

Making a sweeping generalization in a country where the norm is that women submit to their husbands— husbands are heads over their women—, in marriages? The most likely reason you feel insulted by me is likely because of the obvious way I highlight the flaws contained in your very claims.

2. Telling you your reasoning is unsound is not an insult but merely an admission of a fact obvious to the naked eye. You are attempting to argue two completely opposing ideas as though doing so ever makes sense.

press9jatv:
not rampant in our forefathers days ooo. The difference is very clear

You forefathers all had contractual unions, many of which they simply ended by sending the women back to their fathers' home when tired of them to get their money back afterwards. It was always transactional.

tunapawizzy:
➜Nigerian men don't have a problem submitting what they are expected to submit to their wives and children.
➜ Nigerian brand of feminism is toxic whether u follow line of reasoning or not.

1. They don't have a problem submitting to their wives, yet the average Nigerian man believes that it is his woman alone who is to submit to him. You don't even know how to tell intelligent lies, do you?

2. Your reasoning is unsound. I pointed that out before now, yet you followed that up with yet more unsound logic. That is what is clearly toxic!

tunapawizzy:
➜Nigerian feminists: association of women who don't want to submit to their husband but totally submit to their male bosses at work. They can't at home, but na them dey make tea, kneel down for male oga for work

Don't Nigerian men equally submit to their male and female bosses at work?
Don't Nigerian men also submit to Nigerian police men and the army men... Does this not equally point to the general hypocrisy of the Nigerian men who refuse to submit at home to their wives?

I am trying hard here to follow your line of reasoning here so help me out.

kpankpangolo:
Find a debate elsewhere.

That was instead meant to help you reason for yourself. This is 2025... engage those aging brain cells before they completely abandon you!

kpankpangolo:
➜If it wasn’t a natural birth, she should disappear with her story of accomplishment.

Where does this natural birth requirement come from? How much does a woman get paid for such births? What is the benefit of a natural birth on the body of the woman and maybe even the child born through the process?

LordIsaac:
➜2Tim. 3 Verses 16 to 17 [16] All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: [17] That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.

Again, first of all, Paul the Jew, the one who is supposed to have written that letter, said absolutely nothing of what you claim. If this marriage love is indeed as selfless as you pretend, then ask yourself, why did Paul the Jew forgo partaking in it? 🙄🙄🙄🙄

I hope you also don't mean the same Jesus Christ of Israel, who also didn't partake in this selfless act of marriage love you supposedly described? Think! Think!! Think!!! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

correctguy101:
➜ This over sabi man, you don quote me with una nonsense...
What kinda nonsense question is that? Who'd be so bored to be fixated on somebody else's definition of love? Or of anything in fact? Probably not this Daddy Love like many others mean different things to different people oga... If you can't even understand something as elementary as that and are just fixated in whatever definition you pick from somewhere and hold to be true, that's ya problem... I no even watch ya video as IMHO, it's probably nonsense... This ancestor doesn't need anything outside our Royal self to define whatever we feel? Oya slide comot go front...

Clearly, this is literally an admission of having no clear, unambiguous idea of what love is. However, he pretends to be certain that this concept he is ignorant of, is what marriage is built on. Can you imagine that? 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

donbenie:
Bitter Leave FC AKA Online in-laws.

Stop lying!

Sunnyshinylight:
➜At the end of the day you made no sense or added value to the post. Just bitterness and more whining Give yourself joy. You don't deserve to suffer like this please. Life is good.

This from the one whose post reads no different from brain farts from a mind experiencing a psychotic episode! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Faposky95:
➜The captivation of a soul in its hole. English descriptives is not life. Get married or try dying in one..... Carry that cross or shut up

I see you only speak blah, blah blah!

elmodee7:
There is a big difference btw submision and slavery.

Stop telling this lie! 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

LordIsaac:
1 Corinthians 13.

Again, first of all, Paul the Jew, the one who is supposed to have written that letter, said absolutely nothing of what you claim. If this marriage love is indeed as selfless as you pretend, then ask yourself, why did Paul the Jew forgo partaking in it? 🙄🙄🙄🙄

I hope you also don't mean the same Jesus Christ of Israel, who also didn't partake in this selfless act of marriage love you supposedly described? Think! Think!! Think!!! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

press9jatv:
before it wasn't like that

It has always been like that— there is no before.

LordIsaac:
➜1 Corinthians 13.
➜ Jesus is Lord!

First of all, Paul the Jew, the one who is supposed to have written that letter, said absolutely nothing of what you claim. If this marriage love is indeed as selfless as you pretend, then ask yourself, why did Paul the Jew forgo partaking in it? 🙄🙄🙄🙄

I hope you also don't mean the same Jesus Christ of Israel, who also didn't partake in this selfless act of marriage love you supposedly described? Think! Think!! Think!!! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

press9jatv:
yes . Everything is transactional now

. It has always been transactional.

LordIsaac:
➜ If it were impossible, Scriptures will not affirm it. I have seen love, and I have been loved...and I have loved. Love someone today!

You religious goons too dey lie! 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Which scripture book affirms what, abeg? Which of your scriptures definitively states that marriage goes hand in hand with selflessness and marriage cannot exist without this thing called selflessness? Na Buddhists note abi na Aphrodite love you dey claim? Nothing selfless about those.

I mean, think! How many men do you know of who have ever married a woman, not for their pleasure but her own?

Brandiebird:
➜Yo! I spoke too soon! Having looked at it. I think it's a genius idea! I wasn't thinking about the practical devision of responsibility! I was stuck on the moral stuff. Thank you Kobo! I love the way your brain works sometimes 😂

Like I said, it is for those who value their peace of mind, and mental health above all the stewpid dramas that may ensue during the rollercoaster that is a relationship. I no wan wait until I almost murder someone abeg! Me...I like to know when it is OK for me to simply walk out and not have to look back 😂😂😂😂😂

LordIsaac:
➜If something is not ubiquitous, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist!

It also doesn't mean it is possible either.

Marriage is entered into by a man and a woman who are looking to selfishly possess each other for personal gain. The man selfishly claims the woman for his own and does so so that he may benefit the most, while the woman also does the very same. To suggest that there is a selfless aspect to the union is to contradict the very reason for the union. This notion that a selfless love is involved in marriage is utter nonsense.

Brandiebird, do take a look at how to create one. https://www.wikihow.com/Relationship-Contract

I would recommend it to anyone considering entering into a serious relationship where peace of mind and maturity are a requirement.

DyshApp:
➜What do you think? Why is there still so much shame around fertility issues in Nigeria? Discussions like this are what we live for! From real-life stories to hot takes on love, marriage, dating, and society — our group is where the gist never ends😂
Want to share your opinion? And hear more unfiltered stories like this? Join our Relationship Group today and let’s talk!(Link in Bio)

The current generation is not ready to move past the culture of shame around fertility. That seems to be the problem. Take the situation with IVF and the religious Nigerians out there. A good number of the testimonies regarding childbirth given in your churches today are the result of IVF— artificial insemination. However, this fact is rarely mentioned during the pulpit testimonials(not even the names of doctors responsible for the miracles are hinted at).

Brandiebird:
➜How is that any different to all the promises made, and sweet nothings whispered in the honeymoon period.
➜ There's no court that will implement the contract because its not legally binding.
➜ Nobody goes into a relationship declaring that they will cheat, lie and steal from you or that you want to be cheated on, lied to etc.

A contract is documented and signed by both parties in the agreement. Your verbal promises and sweet nothings as just that which you could deny, or even convince yourself were never really meant to be believed. The content of a signed, sealed agreement is not easily denied.

2. Court? You don't need a court to implement such a contract. You simply need the agreement of both parties; if penalties are defined in the contract, however, then you may wish to invoke the power of the court if one of the parties attempts to reneg on the agreement.

3. Wait a second... a contract isn't meant to keep anyone from cheating, lying, or any of the sort. No, you can't keep humans from doing what humans would do. A contract instead defines the terms under which the relationship can be defined as valid, and includes possible penalties for violation of the agreement. For instance, a man could indicate that if, during the relationship, the woman is found to have cheated on him, at that point the relationship is terminated and she is liable to pay him Naira 1,000,000 for damages &/or give back all of the gifts he gave her during the relationship. A love contract is merely to state the terms and conditions under which the relationship is to be considered valid or terminated, and what should follow from there.

Brandiebird:
➜How could/do we create this contract? 😂 you just reminded me of Sheldon from the show the big bang theory! He draws up a contract for his girlfriend and his friend. Please elaborate though how would a defined love contract look like? What do you mean?! 😢

Sheldon's idea isn't a bad one. People come up with prenuptial agreements/contracts these days for similar reasons.

Stating beforehand what you will tolerate and/or not tolerate is a good way of drawing out the details of the contract for the relationship. It is also a great way to help one realize when the relationship has indeed ended; If you have it in writing that you will not tolerate cheating from your partner, the moment that agreement is violated you know that the relationship already ended; you would need to consciously blindfold yourself to wish to continue after that, but it is harder to fool oneself when the terms have been predefined.

LordIsaac:
➜Thrown around is different from reality.

Pay attention to your definition of love there.

LordIsaac:
Empathy, care, seeking the others' well-being in all ways conceivable...

My question to you is simple! Even in situations where the word is thrown around, can you realistically give us the number of relationships you have encountered or experienced where those attributes are found in the pure sense? For instance, how many men do you know of who married their wives based on a desire to seek in all conceivable ways, her well-being?

People keep saying things like marriage does not work without love, and when asked to define "love", they put forth ideas that defy even human nature. And I wonder, when folks will begin to realistically approach these things; dump the fairy tale delusions to embrace reality as they ought to.

Marriage is, in and of itself, a selfish endeavor; those who marry do so to claim a higher level of possession over the object of their desire. Both men and women enter into marriage for selfish reasons— they don't want to share the one they love with others. So, saying that marriage is founded on a selfless idea is a crock of bull. 😂😂😂😂

Dzzzz:
➜So watching porn is a crime eh?.The same porn he was watching with you back then,is now a crime,like what do you want ?..You have not even been touched by the harsh unseen problems and you Dey shout for porn?..is he that stupid that he won’t know where to put them porn files that you think the niece would have seen it!..You no wan do bedmatics,you just Dey complain of the sex but using porn as disguise..

Here's a fact! Watching porn does not make you better at sex or in the bed. Same way, watching James Bond movies does not magically transform you into a James Bond clone.

BondRiv:
➜Love gives marriage meaning in the sense that it is what holds it together. It is the foundation.
➜ Anyone heading into marriage without this love I defined and all the elements therein, has no business getting married to that person. It is doomed to fail. Love is the foundation.

1. Love is the foundation but millions of marriages, as I pointed out, lack elements of this very foundation, which you defined earlier. So, how can marriage be said to get its meaning from something that it can exist without?

2. So, this foundation, which you defined, provides the guarantee that a marriage will not fail. Well, I asked you earlier, do you know of any man who married his girlfriend because he fully trusted her and/or had mutual respect for her? We need at least a case study for this claim of yours.

dangermouse:
➜Good to know. Thats why it would be difficult for you.

You think life is easier when your neighbors are fools?

BondRiv:
➜A profound emotional connection between two individuals, characterized by deep affection, trust, mutual respect, and a strong commitment to build a life together , through life's joys and challenges.

But the reports of bad marriages, divorce rates(including rates of abandonment), reveal that the majority of marriages lack these basic ideas you spew here. Essentially, you argue that marriages that are lacking in any of the above have no meaning whatsoever, and these seem to be the vast majority of unions out there.

For instance, how many men do you know who marry their girlfriend because they trust them or have mutual respect towards them?

BondRiv:
➜Check your dictionary.

My dictionary says nothing of what you claim, though. This is why I asked that you define this subjective love of yours, which you suppose gives marriage meaning.

BondRiv:
➜Love is literally the thing that gives marriage meaning. People just spew rubbish these days.

Define this love you speak of?

heykims:
➜Interestingly, all of them are still called by the same God.

According to their own mouth, abi? Na today humans begin to dey lie?