₦airaland Forum

SeriouslySense:
➜Love, Love Love, marry for love.
➜Marry because you want to see the best of others, not because you want to gain. If you both want the best for each other it could be pontentially potential

What is love?

How many of the people you know are married for the best of the other and not for their selfish gain?

Bananapill:
➜Lots of this kind do not know what love is. Dem think say love na doking. That's what they know love for.

Tell us... what is love?

Meerahbel:

So, have you moved back to Nigeria since then?

LordIsaac:
➜Empathy, care, seeking the others' well-being in all ways conceivable...

Storyland... In how many relationships where the word "love" is thrown around can you honestly say that you have identified any or all of these in action? 🙄🙄🙄🙄

FiveFootNinja:
➜I see. I got carried away thinking you were teetering towards moral relativism. My bad then.
So you're basically saying that these boundaries in entertainment are NOT based on careful ethical consideration but cultural habit, convenience, psychological distance, and a myriad of other possible reasons.
Does this represent what you're saying better?

Sure!

There was a time in history when different cultures taught it was cool to watch public beheadings and executions. That quickly went out of fashion when those watching realized that there was nothing much keeping their heads from being next on the chopping block. Suffice to say, we no longer find those entertaining now, do we?. 😑😑😑😑

I have never read or heard of a serial killer or murderer ecstatic at the fact of his becoming a target of another murderer or serial killer; even those whose lives are ruled by depravity do not love becoming victims of their depravity.

correctguy101:
➜Funny thing is...Na true and na lie at the same time See ehn, experiences must be different. So try love, if e no work, go for contractual union if you see anyone ready for something similar. It does not even mean that too would work... In fact, try both and if them no work, just kukuma stay on ya lonesome... Such union is never for everyone... Just look for whatever rocks ya boat and leave all these frustrated motivational speakers with their nonsense.

If dem ask you, "what is love?" now, you go begin to dey vomit gobbledegook! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Better engage your brain! Even love is a contract... spelled out, you are better able to gauge its progress. If you leave it up in the air, you will never realize when it actually abandoned you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sY4rhvB9LE?si=JFuVoNp26NzQBt-B

dangermouse:
➜Go tell your neigbours They at least would understand you are not well

I don't have fools as neighbors though!

Druss:
➜Yes you laugh but I have real life examples of couples which has worked excellently and for whom the partner with money does rubbish. I have seen couples who without doing number 3 get ripped off. 3 by itself is not a red flag but to each their own.
If your partner is a skilled investor better give him or her the monies to invest. Let y'all have billions later in life. I don give advice.

I laugh because you people make me laugh! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

FiveFootNinja:
I think you have a problem following logical implications. I'm only addressing your response by questioning if moral relativism serves either group of victims properly in establishing ethical boundaries.
Let me lay it out for you point by point.
1. My question was centered on why society treats virtual representations of rape and murder differently in entertainment.
2. You said that humans justify depravity when it is convenient, but "cry bloody murder when they become victims".
3. Based on your answer in number 2, if all moral boundaries are just manifestations of self-serving hypocrisy, then it means that the distinct trauma being experienced by survivors of rape versus the trauma experienced by families of murder victims becomes irrelevant to how we should treat these acts in virtual spaces like in TV, video games etc.

You don't pay attention well, do you?

FiveFootNinja:
What do you think it reveals about our society that some violations are normalized in entertainment (murder) while others remain taboo (rape)? Is there any framework of ethics that can justify why a traumatized life may have more value than "no life", or vice versa?

And my response to your ask is ... .

It all means absolutely nothing given humans have always had to condone the depraved aspects of their being that do their most to attempt justifying some of the most absurd whenever it suits them; the very same cry bloody murder when they become victims.

I don't get where you get this "all moral boundaries are just manifestations of self-serving hypocrisy" idea of yours from. 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨

Druss:
➜To you it is manipulation. To me it is giving the person with the best money growing skills the tools to do so.
➜ I have seen couples for whom this works.

The person with the best money-growing skills? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

2. You haven't also seen couples who have ripped each other off in that same way, right? 😂😂😂😂

LordIsaac:
✓ It can begin with love, get sustained by love, but it goes beyond love....quote me daily, twice on Valentin's day!

You mean desire -- chemically induced attraction, right?

Druss:
➜Yup!! It is called working together.

Manipulation is the same as working together.... now I done heard it all! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

dandollaz:
✓ Oga love matters ooo because later later na the love go carry una dey move ahead ahead.if you want to marry who no be your level because of what she will bring and not love later later e go clear you for eye say woman money na her money ooo.rather advice to hustle and make money so that see finish no go enter.

Love is a contract. If you leave it vague, then you will never realize when it has ceased. However, defined, you are better able to monitor its progress!

chiagozien:
Yeah I got to know about it yesterday night when I called my cousin.
I also called his wife to congratulate her, she was happy asking when I will come back to town and see them.
I promise I will come soon,of course I will go when I have chance.
Previous threads
https://www.nairaland.com/8208805/cousin-marry-ex-should-tell#131926239
https://www.nairaland.com/8210210/tell-cousin-hes-marrying-ex

They have clearly moved on. How long do you intend to keep hovering as a monitoring spirit over their affairs?

FiveFootNinja:
✓ If it all means absolutely nothing, then the trauma experiences you've been emphasizing lose all their ethical weight as well. That would be a stunning volte face, don't you think?

Are you certain you are able to clearly comprehend responses at all? My response is to the question you posed. How does that relate to the trauma experienced by rape victims including the families of murde victims? 😩😩😩😩

FiveFootNinja:
✓ Not bad. Although this is actually a very solid argument for why murder is such a profound and sinister violation. If death is a final destination in a journey, and rape is a derailment, murder can be described as an outright termination of that journey.
And I'm particularly interested to hear your thoughts on the meta ethics of it all. For instance, in the way both rape and murder are portrayed in the media.
What do you think it reveals about our society that some violations are normalized in entertainment (murder) while others remain taboo (rape)? Is there really any framework of ethics that can justify why a traumatized life may have more value than "no life", or vice versa?

It all means absolutely nothing given humans have always had to condone that depraved aspects of their being that does its most to attempt providing justification for some of the most absurd whenever it suits them; the very same cry bloody murder when they become victims.

dangermouse:
✓ Now you have gotten your 1 minute fame, can you now run off.

Religion is a scam, Christianity is no different! Know this and gain wisdom!

dangermouse:
✓ I wonder where you belong to. It is obvious you are here just to troll Christians.
It nothing new, they did it to Jesus Christ too and He foretold your likes at the end times.
I only pray you repent before it is too late for you.

You Christians, are ever seeking ways to distance yourselves from the other over 46,000 interpretations/denominations -- the foundations are all the same -- that comprise the very same religion you belong to, as though in doing so you make invisible the faulty foundation of the religion itself.🙄🙄🙄🙄

Nothing like that in fact happened to Jesus Christ of Israel who is written of in Scripture. Again, these narratives you spew are taken from the narratives fed you by your gods of men.

dangermouse:
✓ The Bible is there as a guideline and instructions. Would you leave the Bible and follow what men on the pulpit says? Even Christ foretold all these towards the end time.
✓ As Christians, read your Bible and leave all these god of men alone. Christ said that by their fruits ye shall know them.

1. Unfortunately, fact is you religious folks don't actually read that book for yourselves. Rather what you do a lot of Iot more of us attempt to impose the narrative fed you by your gods of men on what is written in the book. Anyone who has actually read the book removed from all the many religious narratives would have realized the book has nothing to do with Nigeria or Nigerians. Not does it have anything to do with any nation or people except the Israelites and religion is against all its messages. 🙄

Christians are scammers playing the scam that is religion and nothing more.

FiveFootNinja:
✓ What's funny about your response is that you wish to respect survivors' experiences, and yet somehow you've gone ahead and reduced them to the "living dead among us", thereby denying them the dignity of their respective journeys. We can acknowledge both the devastation of sexual trauma and the human capacity to reclaim meaning afterwards. Two things can be true at the same time. The real judgement being made here is you seemingly consigning survivors to a philosophical grave. ...

1. That description did not come from my person but from interviews of rape victims. I simply borrowed a phrase used by some of them to describe what living with that burden is like for them.

Death will happen to us all but rape won't. Acknowledging their pain and trauma is how you gain understanding of their pain and maybe the knowledge to compare it to anything else.

lenghtinny:
✓ If she’s ready and you are not, then it’s best you let her go.
Marriage is a different pot of beans, it’ll change your direction in ways you can never imagine.
At 29, your biological clock and hers are very much different, so I don’t blame her.
No try carry person if you no get shoulder

All these wombwatchers members,oga o! .... Biological clock this and that's . .even women of over 50 are now able to have healthy babies thanks to advancements in medical science. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

That woman should equally be worried about her financial and psychological health as OP is. Yes, OP should leave her alone, not because of her biological clock, but mainly because he is not on the same wavelength as the woman; love is not meant to be used as a cage to cage those who love us. Someone said, "If you love someone, if you love someone, set them free!"

Omoboricash:
✓ You better dont deceive yourself, 99.8% of today's church is all about prosperity. Money money money.
No one preaches about salvation but properity.
They are living in mansion, flying private jet, ride rolls royce.
The son takes over the church built by his father as if God callings is their heritance.
We all know what chrisianity of nowadays stood for.
Only catholic that preaches humanity and salivation. The rest are business ventures

It is actually 100% given that all religions have been proven, over 1000s of years to be about the acquisition of political and material clout. Your pastors are politicians who dress up their own set of lies with the mentions of that which is a deity/God. Same thing Buddhism, Hinduism and all the other -isms before(and after it) were used for. 🤔

oz4real83:
You decamped from deeper life to RCCG, from there form your own ministry maybe through coalition with some RCCG members who broke off with you, is that different from what Nigerian politicians are doing today? No ideology .

Isn't that the same politics your gods of men abi na GOs dem play until dem reach their place of political power today? 🤔

dangermouse:
All these gods of men. Why is the pull-him down-syndrome prevalent in all these churches? The body of christ is one. Churches is all about evangelism and winning souls for Christ and not about money making ,back biting and politics. The body of Christ should unite as one for the gospel to thrive!.

Even the Christ and this gospel thing wey una know, no be from the narratives from the mouths of una gods of men e come from? How many of una dey actually question all wey dem dey tell una?

FiveFootNinja:
✓ Who said anything about making judgements ON them?
I just asked a simple question that follows from your very own words. Since according to you, rape victims never really recover, does this make murder a better option than rape? If no, why? If yes, then what gives you the right to make that decision on behalf of the victim?
It's a simple question.

Your question does not follow from any of what I said in previous comment though. The claim that they never really recover does not come from me but from admissions made by so many of them who have come out to speak of the mental torment of life after the experience. Rape victims walk around like the living dead among us. Who am I or you to pronounce judgment of any kind on them particularly when we cannot boast of walking a mile or two moons in their shoes or moccasins? 🤔

FiveFootNinja:
✓ Since many rape victims "never really recover" from rape, and are "haunted for life", could an argument be made that some rape survivors would have been better off murdered than rape?
If the answer is yes, how do we possibly justify making that heavy judgment on anyone's behalf, apart from their own?

Who are you to make any judgement on them though?

Sunnyshinylight:
Why is the newly wedded man called GROOM and the woman called BRIDE? A friend of mine got tired of his WIFE just about six months after wedding. He complained bitterly to me about her and told me that he has concluded to break up with her; he went on to say that he was sure that he made a mistake. I did not respond immediately because I knew I must tell him the right thing, so I went home. And that is what birth this message.
Many MEN have broken up with their WIVES because they end up not being the WIFE that they have dreamt of. But they have forgotten that on their wedding day was when the man was commissioned for the new task.
Nobody calls the woman WIFE on her wedding day but BRIDE, because it is the man that will GROOM his BRIDE to become the WIFE. That is why the man is called ‘BRIDEGROOM or GROOM’ and the word grooming has to do with PATIENTLY NURTURING, TEACHING, TENDING and HELPING someone to become what he or she should be.
It is therefore believed that a MAN that takes a WOMAN to the ALTAR of MARRIAGE is matured enough to patiently GROOM his BRIDE to become the WIFE. The man is not supposed to just expect the BRIDE to automatically become the WIFE, she must be groomed.
It is clear that many men have unnecessary expectations when they were getting married, they want some magic to happen to their wives, they want them to become what they have had in mind about who they want their wives to be; not considering the fact that the woman does not know what is on your mind except you teach her.
Our expectations are often too unrealistic, because we don’t remember that change takes TIME and we can only expect something from someone that knows what we want
So before you think of breaking up, have you groomed her? Have you given her TIME to understand you? Hope you realize that a turtle will never become a hawk? God often brings People that are opposites of each other together in MARRIAGE so that they can HELP EACH OTHER in their place of weaknesses. If your WIFE is weak where you are weak, then where will you get the strength that is needed? The problem with many of us is that we don’t accept People before attempting to change them. Of course, your wives are not from your backgrounds, so it will take TIME for them to adjust. Stop trying to change her, ACCEPT her, LOVE her, TEACH her and be PATIENT with her; that is what grooming is all about. She is going to be your WIFE but she is your BRIDE now, so GROOM her. Stop complaining about her, she may be a turtle and you a hawk, she cannot fly so be PATIENT with her. I[b] don’t believe that your MARRIAGE can’t work, be PATIENT and allow GOD to HELP you.
May Almighty God continue to be with us, guide and protect us in all our affairs Amen!!! Wishing you the best Marital Life ever to all single Ladies,Bros and Married ones here. You will have the marriage of your dreams. A marriage made in heaven.[/b]

Very nonsensical bullsheet! I am not at all surprised that it came laced with religious nonsense by the way, as this is then the kind of upside-down reasoning expected from those whose brain-cells are chock-full of religious gobbledegook!

Religious eejits don't even realize that all they think and know of marriage comes mostly from the antics of comedians/playwrights and writings of pagan philosophers; most of these ideas came from drunken musings which have been demolished by other more intelligent minds many times since then.🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Inshame3:
➜I will get married early next year, but I am a perpetual visitor of brothel and my wife think I am a virgin should I reveal my past to her or I should let it go

Are you still alive?

ebubeson:
➜Do ladies still feel guilty committing abortion and killing a baby or are they just after the guy not dumping them after abortion? Please does guilt for abortion still exist? It does exist because God gave conscience. But maybe some ladies have dead conscience on that.

But where was the conscience/guilt of the men during the process of impregnating these girls, knowing fully well that they would not stay to take care of the consequence of their steamy rump?
Where was the conscience of the girls then? Na only when the gals, the end bearers of the belle result, dey talk of taking care of the consequence, the best way they know to, una dey like talk of conscience and god?

Love800:
But actively sourcing will lead to actively providing. Thats the point am making! Why wont they(women) accept it!! Okay, when broke, she should be jumping from one man to another, or she seek divorce? Thats crazy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSy4X6NiqfA?si=x6kxQai7Usu7nipt