₦airaland Forum

yewit37486:
➜The unon can cease without all the screaming and theatrics, so what's the point?

There is no law against screaming nor a penalty against it in these situations.

yewit37486:
➜So after all the screaming, what has changed?

Hopefullly, the union ceases with it.

yewit37486:
➜The dude looks so much like Nonso Diobi. That woman needs to calm down, I hate when people start screaming when they have disagreements, will that solve the issue? No.

...

Bringbackmandat:
Problem of women is that they cannot control their emotions. That woman over reacted.

When you discover that the boy that has been living with you is not your wife's brother but her actual son, let us know how you would calmly react to that news then.

gabbytabby:
➜ I understand her reaction in the circumstances maybe because i experienced a similar thing in my first marriage where my ex maintained that the boy was his brother only to later find out it was his Son.
➜ Polygamy was a red line for me and for a long time I tried to adjust but could not, such that I cried and cried and was in a depressed state such that I walked out in the end. Everybody on his side knew of the deception including the boy who wanted to call him small daddy but was discouraged.

OMGosh! 😦😦😦😦😦😦😦😦😦

2. They all knew!! I can't even imagine how you must have felt. I hope it is all in your past at this point, abeg! 😧😧😧😧😧

Day169:
➜That's a nightmare we're currently living in.

A nightmare is a dream, after all.

pocohantas:
➜They are typing all this because it is a man that perpetrated the deceit. Turn the table and watch this thread get to 15pages. 😂

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

pongwa:
quite frankly, forgiveness erases all debts. Imperfections in human nature is what manifests as hurt and ego

. You are not what you say you believe or think, but what you do... did you know that? When it comes to Nigeria and Nigerians, we all know that if a woman were to have done this to a man, she would be branded a wh0re and a bi-tch even from her father's house. Please, spare me the talk abeg!

pongwa:
these are non issues when forgiveness is present.

Basically, you are saying that if you discovered that the boy who has been living with you is not your wife's brother but her child from a previous relationship, forgiveness will wipe it all away and make it a non-issue?

gabbytabby:
➜ Likely that the man also taught the girl to perpetrate the lie. The man has been told by police to leave the home. Chances are that the woman also accepted Chioma because of the assistance she will render. Betrayal is a difficult pill to swallow. Likely that

She shouldn't have subjected the girl to that sort of treatment abeg! She is, after all, a victim in all of this. I hope the woman finds a way to apologize to that girl and her children for the outburst.

dapadawee:
➜Make him throw away him daughter. Who among us is sure that the man who raise you is your biological father. Make him kill the girl.

He already killed her the moment he had her live as his niece in his marriage. Do you realize how demeaning it is to have to live calling your own father your uncle... when your friends go hang out with their fathers, you have nothing to say since your father has to be your uncle? And imagine the guilt the girl will carry after what we just saw in that video? Nigerians are generally terrible parents.

Bittersweetnig:
then the remaining 50% are the real men, so if you belong to 50% bn fed by women then shame

Wrong! The report did not include information on households where the man and woman equally contributed to household finances, households bankrolled by in-laws or relatives, etc. Let's stick to the facts here. I think the ship has sailed a long time ago on the image of the real Nigerian man image you are desperately trying to paint here.

Bittersweetnig:
Rule number one, don't let woman take any responsibility over you no matter what

But reports from Nigeria reveal that women are breadwinners in almost 50% of households in Nigeria. So, wetin be this one wey you dey yarn when men having women take responsibility over them has been a norm and probably a part of the culture for a while now.

Omoawoke:
Did I just hear leave my house. Any man that live in a woman’s house has no shame

. According to recent reports, almost 50% of women in marriages in Nigeria are the breadwinners. That shamelessness you describe has been a part of the culture for a long time now.

ttoyetade:
➜It is not a case of deception. There is no time they tell the woman, she will always overreact.
➜ The way she reacted she can poison that girl. I think she's probably the bread winner of the house or may be the husband is a dependant. She really maltreated the husband. It may come back to hunt her because you don't know what God will do.

You mean the exact same way men overreact when they find out they have been raising another man's child, abi? It is all not a case of deception, abi?

2. You mean when men, as breadwinners, equally maltreat their wives in a paternity fraud case, it is not the same thing? 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Gloriagee:
Your opinion Sir/ ma and I'm entitled to mine....

opinion my arse!🙄🙄🙄🙄

Gloriagee:
➜I never said it was right to scam but she's overreacting imo. Putting it on social media is the height for me...

You gave a whole schpeel insisting the man should be forgiven if the child had been born before the marriage, essentially ignoring the fact that by that same token, it could also easily be argued that the entire marriage may have been a scam against the woman.

Gloriagee:
My reaction will depend on if she was born before the marriage or during the marriage... From the footage, she looks like she was born before the marriage so I'll basically say the wife should forgive cos of the opportunities and to make the girl financially independent in future but it all determines all the dynamics of their marriage and the kind of mum the girl has...

So, because she was born before the marriage, it becomes right for him to scam the woman into having the child in the house without needing to tell her the truth? Some of you ehn....🙄🙄🙄🙄

GistMedia0:
➜ A dramatic confrontation has gone viral after a Nigerian woman living abroad discovered that the girl her husband brought into their home—claiming she was his niece—is actually his biological daughter.
According to reports, the woman had accepted the girl into their home under the belief that she was just a relative in need of help. But everything changed when the truth came out. In the shocking footage, the wife is seen bitterly confronting her husband, shouting repeatedly, “Did you tell me she was your daughter?” as the visibly shamed man tries to calm her down.
The situation grew even more emotional when the teary woman ordered the young girl to leave the house. The girl, clearly frightened, is seen kneeling and begging the woman to let her stay, while the desperate husband pleads with his wife to calm down. But the woman stands her ground, replying firmly, “No!”

Why attack the girl as if she does not realize that the one who plotted to scam her was the girl's father? 🙄🙄🙄🙄

ManOfSon:
➜ The only way to conclusively prove that this so-called allegation isn't for click-bait motivations is for this lady to name her rapist. Stop playing ignorant.

Stop babbling ignorantly abeg! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Stepout23:
➜You're right to point out the harsh reality that many Nigerian children face. Poverty is real. Corruption is everywhere. And yes, even the institutions meant to protect us often fail us. But here’s the truth we must not ignore: "The fact that something is common doesn’t make it right."
➜ Yes, our society is broken in many ways, but we can’t fix a broken system by breaking ourselves further. If we all choose the crooked path just because others are on it, then who will stand for what’s right?
➜ It's not about preaching morality from a place of privilege, it's about preserving our dignity, even in hardship.
➜ Because when the government fails, when the system fails, the only thing left that can keep us from completely falling apart is our conscience and values.
➜ And when you say preaching won’t work, maybe not alone. That’s why I’m not just preaching. I’m also working hard to give kids something else to believe in skills, education, digital literacy, tech knowledge. Because exposure opens the mind and creates new paths.
➜ Let’s not downplay the power of doing the right thing, even if it feels small. After all, those who change the world didn’t do it because things were perfect — they did it despite imperfection. So let’s keep talking. Let’s keep pushing. And most importantly, let’s act.

1. Again, the right thing is only established through action— doing the right thing — not by merely saying the right things. Corruption, poverty, and all that is bad can only be solved by doing the right things, not by saying or thinking.

2. Society is broken means that a majority in the society has already chosen the crooked path. This is no longer a matter of if but a fact that the majority have indeed chosen the crooked path. That is what these children are aware has already happened at this point. Those who were supposed to be role models are all criminals, even their parents are not innocent victims but part and parcel of the problem that is society. They know this very well.

3. Preserving some imagined dignity....really?

4. The system has already failed... conscience and values have been rendered of no worth. That is the current reality of life and living for 10s of millions of Nigerians today.

5. I am not certain what you mean you are doing. Saying you are giving them something to believe in without actually providing them with meaningful materials to support the belief is all the same meaninglessness... valueless values.

6. People typically know what the right thing is. You get into a conversation with any Nigerian, and you will be showered with talk of the right beliefs, etc. But when it comes down to where the rubber meets the road, these same Nigerians will choose all that is wrong to benefit themselves over anything else. What this means is that merely spewing the right things is not the same as solving problems. It could be perceived as making unnecessary noise at that. So, yes, until action meets belief, we will probably find we have no option but to deal with reality as it is.

ManOfSon:
➜Everything is connected. If you're seeing disconnection, please check your comprehension. And that's my point.
➜ The place to make an allegation of rape is not on a podcast, especially when the person making the allegation is hiding information. Let her go to the police. Only then can she be seen as serious. She's free to allege all she wants. I also have every right to call b*llc**p!

All I see here is a desperate attempt by you to draw a connection where none exists.

2. There is no law against using the media to make allegations. You are just fishing... stop already! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

ManOfSon:
➜Good. Social media is a cancer destroying the foundations of society. It rewards bad behavior. It's dangerous to believe every story that we read on social media. It's also dangerous to be doubtful of all of them. Presenting half or incomplete information doesn't help either. Someone making wild claims as this must be willing to name names. That way, whoever is accused will have an opportunity to tell their own side of the story. Besides, even outside the click-bait sensationalism of social media,
➜ weren't we told never to decide a case until we've heard both sides? You have a great day!

All this story has no connection to this topic, so I am not certain why you keep deviating.

2. I don't know who told you that hogwash, but more importantly, you are not a police detective or investigator, so it does not matter whether you hear 30 sides or 1. This is a criminal accusation being leveled against another person, not a gossip of some sort. She is exercising her right to accuse whoever it is she believes raped her. If he is eventually prosecuted and charged, maybe then you will learn whatever the other side of this you wish to learn.

Stepout23:
➜Thank you for your honest take. It’s true that desperation can cloud judgment, especially in a society where injustice is often loud and opportunities are scarce. But here's my stance. Yahoo should never be an option. Not for the parent. Not for the child. We can’t justify wrong just because the system itself is broken. Two wrongs don’t make a right, they just make the future worse. Encouraging fraud, even with the intention of "removing the consequences from the child," is actually transferring moral and legal destruction to the entire family. Imagine a parent going to jail in place of a child, what then becomes of the home?
I strongly believe that there’s dignity in labour, and even if clean hustle starts slow, it comes with peace of mind and lasting progress. What we need more of are creative, honest alternatives, digital skills, tech jobs, entrepreneurship, trades, community support, and mentorship for our youths. That’s where we should channel our energy.
➜ Let’s raise children who see value in hard work, not shortcuts. Let’s be parents who model character, n[url]ot compromise.

Ever heard the saying, "You are not what you think or believe but what you do"?

Your stance seems good to read on paper, but when it comes to the reality of things for the 10s of millions of children in Nigeria born into poverty by impoverished parents who had no reason to have them, you find that it means absolutely nothing at the end of the day.

2. That would make sense in the ideal world, but in a place like Nigeria, overrun and ruled by criminals, na story you dey talk there. We are talking here of a country where the Government, religious establishments —pastors, imams, traditional leaders—, the police, etc, are all roped in the business of YahooYahoo/crime.

If it were a child in the U.S considering the Yahoo-Yahoo line of business, this would go an entirely different way since the Law works here. But in Nigeria, where the law of the jungle prevails, preaching alone will not work at all.

Stepout23:
✓ Do we then give them our blessing to go into fraud?
Or do we use that moment to plant a stronger seed to build resilience, to teach contentment, and to help them Find legal alternatives?
✓ Many parents are also suffering but still making efforts to help their children learn skills, find support, and walk a clean path. It’s not easy. But I believe it’s still worth trying.
✓ Because not every Yahoo boy ends well, and that's a truth the streets don't always show.

This all depends on the parent in question. For someone like me, I would maybe dissuade the child from the act and proceed to take it all on my shoulders to provide at least those chairs that I feel he does deserve. Another parent might consider entering into the Yahoo Yahoo business on behalf of the child -- assuming Yahooyahoo is the only way he/she sees forward too --- so the consequences are removed from the child. It depends. 🤔

2. A clean path that leads to lack means absolutely nothing in the end though. We all know this and the kids also know this.

3. Ideally, the vast majority of those who engage in Yahoo Yahoo should end up behind bars. But when you are dealing with a society ruled by criminals in broad daylight, the line between that which is not acceptable and that which is becomes blurred day by day. Again, these kids are aware of this and are looking to using it to their advantage.

Milanodigishop:
You just passed away, and allowed to be reborn but not as a human, what do you wanna be?

This assumes that consciousness remains after death, does it not? Kinda like asking if a dead plan would be willing to come back as a plant or something else.

Brandiebird:
➜Because the female biology is subject to time. I want to save her the discomfort of realising that and the feelings that come along with it. If she can figure out what she wants now then she can work towards it rather than time making the decision for her.
➜ We sure are born alone and we'll die alone but we are social creatures and the RIGHT companionship is good for us. Being single like everything else in life comes with its challenges.
➜ I feel it the most when I'm unwell or when I have a shi day at work and walk through my door. The rest of the time I love it 😂.

1. We live in an age where technology has pretty much removed the need for such worries — freezing of eggs, surrogacy, adoption, etc. —so why burden her mind with such unnecessary anxieties?

2. Companionship can take different forms, marriage being only one of them. So, why does being the way you were born have to be considered challenging?

3. I take it you have never seen where even those who are married are abandoned to care for themselves in such situations, right? It pays to be realistic when comparing these things.

Brandiebird:
➜I hope we're able to debunk the lie *A woman's worth being tied to having a man*
I talk to my nieces about whether they want to be a mother and never if they want to be wives. I try to remind the older one that time isn't on our side so she needs to reflect and decide what she wants out of life.
➜ Yeah, to each their own! I'm just glad I missed that freight train! Child free and happy over here! Being single has its own issues but I still believe that for ME it is the lesser of 2 evils.

1. Why do you tell her that time isn't on her side? Where is she rushing to?

2. We were all born single from our mother's wombs — both males and females — and we will all invariably die alone in the end. Marriage, like every relationship, eventually comes to an end, either before the grave or in the grave. So, what could be an issue with being single?

Brandiebird:
➜I agree and in hindsight she would probably agree. But you know we are all products of our environment so you have to take into consideration that. As an African woman by the time she graduated, her family pushed her to find a man and marry. You know the game plan! A Woman is never complete until she finds a man!
BTW she only has 2 children not 3. The autistic child and the new born. For someone so educated I was shocked how much in denial she was about her child. She honestly refused to consider that her child had developmental challenges. I think the pregnancy and Birth of the second child woke her up to her situation.
➜I'm not painting her as some victim because she made all her choices but I could see where life played her too. Its just life.

My mistake! I thought she had 3 kids.

Yeah, "A woman is never complete until she finds a man!" ... one of the worst lies ever told to woman kind since the beginning. Many a female life has been ruined by that one lie. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

2. She is definitely not a victim at all, and I hope this is the wake-up call she has needed, at least for the sake of the kids. Otherwise, this might just be a slight curve in the rollercoaster ride to follow if she does not take care. 🙄🙄🙄

Brandiebird:
➜She is a graduate and a professional so I believe she did develop herself. She obviously wanted a family and the next step in life and that's why she chose to get married and have children.
➜ Their first child is autistic and none verbal so life through them a curve ball that they could not control. Most men are raised to think that marriage is about bringing home money and being looked after by their wife as their mother looked after them.
➜ I think the issue is that the modern world is changing faster than we can evolve. She probably didn't want to be a sahw and to budget the meagre income her husband brought home. She didn't want herself development to end once she got married. But he was incapable of parenting! Most men know how to be husbands and some know how to be fathers but very few know how to be both!

1. Developing oneself is not simply about having a number of degrees in hand. It has more to do with emotional and social intelligence. If she had properly developed herself mentally and emotionally, she would not have ended up carrying 3 babies below age 3 and a man-baby on her head in marriage.

2. A developed woman would know to avoid most men. Other men out there have disabled children, but know how to be involved in the care and raising of that child. You said her very first child is autistic, and without probably ensuring she and her husband were in the best place to handle and address that one, she decided to have two more almost right after?

3. According to you, she is 28. She was born in the modern world, so it is not the world's fault at all. IF we are to assume she failed to see the red flags in the beginning, his approach to parenting her first child should have given her all she would have needed to realize the man's worth. Going on to have two more with him, he is not to take all of the blame from what I see.

Now that she is out of it, let's hope that she gets support from him, even if financially, and she does not end up trapped in similar or worse.

Stepout23:
➜I believe it starts from home: Teaching values early.
➜ Talking openly about money, success, and failure. Showing them examples of people who succeeded with clean hands.
➜ Let me throw the question open: What would you do if your children came home and said they want to be a yahoo boy?
Let’s talk like real parents. Maybe someone out there needs to hear your view today.

Children are not eediots! Of what real worth will those values be to them and their future in a society where values are trampled and switched — the very Law is considered of little or no worth?

2. Having open discussions with your kids will not remove the fact that money/resources are necessary for achieving the success desired and that failure is what awaits the majority who fail to obtain the resources necessary for success.

3. I would begin by apologising to them for being a bad parent parent unable to provide for their basic needs and many of their desires. By acknowledging the fault to be mine, I should be able to better reason with them where they are. All those kids out there seeking to join YahooYahoo are not unreasonable beings. Rather, at this point, we should have realized that many of them are simply human beings who are sick and tired of the suffering associated with living a life colored by lack.

---

On a communication channel has opened up it is up to the parent to decide which way forward in resolving the issue of lack.

Brandiebird:
➜My neighbours marriage just fell apart and she has a 9 month old baby! I asked her why she would subject herself to raising 2 children under 3 years old on her own?! She replied that she's already raising them on her own with the added stress of her relationship. She chose herself and her children.
➜ Most men can't afford to raise a family on their income alone so their wives are forced to work outside the house to make ends meet. When they come home they are left with a man child who needs his needs met. He won't cook, he won't clean, he won't hold his children and give his wife a break.
➜ A beautiful 28 year old lady now looks 40 years old in just 4 years of marriage! He aged her! She has a loving family, supportive friends and a good job so she'll be okay for sure. The painful part is that he has washed his hands off and never looked back. I advised her to put him on child support so he doesn't do this to other women. Life is hard for everybody.

Your neighbour finally woke up to what has probably been her reality from the beginning of the relationship. Had she chosen herself from the beginning, she would probably not have ended up with 3 babies and a life of so much stress at that.

2. Yet women keep marrying such men as though to reward them for being stewpid.

3. Easy to put all of the blame on him, don't you think? It wasn't like she was forced into the marriage or did not have the opportunity to develop herself before choosing that particular man.

ManOfSon:
➜I am sure you've come across one of them stories where someone says that a podcaster told them to tell certain wild stories on order to drive clicks/engagement to the podcast. And why should I believe the story of someone who says she was raped but won't say who? I wouldn't be commenting if she said who assaulted her. Until it's a full message, it doesn't qualify.

I have never come across any such!