₦airaland Forum

Olorilolo:
■ In what World would one pick an institution where I'm alone over an institution where I have companion? Choosing to remain single is a life I won't fault anyone for but saying it's better, than having someone to come home to every night, someone who genuinely cares about you and calls you to check up on you? Discusses how the day went with you? Helps you to achieve plans , cheering you all the way? You have kids and then you watch them grow, together!
Like I said, you seem to either be using a loveless marriage as a yardstick or you just have a hill you want to die on and nothing can change your mind.

It is indeed hard conversing with folks who worship at the altar of "marriage is the only meaning there is to life". Sigh!

The numbers reveal that the trend is moving away from marriage. SInglehood has nothing to do with lack of companionship. It instead has more to do with choosing not to be married to your companion(s). Some single people choose to have children outside of marriage while others choose not to have children at all. others choose to have pets instead. The point is marriage is not as attractive as it used to be and that is a fact of the world we now live in.

Olorilolo:
■ Now this isn't a direct mention so permit me to jump on it. When you say suffering of the married, it makes me think you're using a loveless marriage as a yardstick...
■ Have you never seen a good marriage, of imperfect beings coming together, getting to understand themselves and becoming perfect for each other?
■ I've seen more good marriages than I have seen bad marriages and no I'm not going to count misunderstandings as a bad marriage.

Remember when I said stop bull sheet-ing, I meant it!

You bring up the issue of love here but what is love? Did you know that individuals, even those in marriage, define love differently? A husband's idea of love may contradict his wife's idea of what love is. We see that a lot. And this typically ends, in the African setting, with one partner suffering in marriage, while the other gets away with murder in the name of love.

2. Marriage is not defined by those few marriages you consider good. It is instead an agreement between a man and a woman. Each couple defines for themselves what marriage will be same as two business partners are meant to decide the details of their business partnership with each other. When one partner feels short-changed in the union, it leads to undue suffering, and that suffering is linked to the existence of the particular union. By, the way, there is no perfection of a relationship between in perfect beings. If perfection were possible, then a contract would not be needed in the first place between the two.

3. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

In 1981, the divorce rate in the State of Plateau, Nigeria, was recorded to have been around 81% among newlyweds. in 2012, a report went out that the divorce rate in Northern Nigeria was among the highest in the world. Now, of course, these reports come from the North where divorce is respected and tracked. In much of Southern Nigeria where divorce is traditionally found, official divorce rates have notoriously been maintained at below 0.1%. This does not consider the rate of marriage abandonment, the acceptable form of divorce among southerners, and equally as high as at least 50%. You claim to have seen mostly good marriages than bad ones so my next question is where exactly did you see them?

Olorilolo:
■ Well, I'm not aware of this list you speak of. If there's a link or a book you can refer me to, I'll be glad to go take a look.
■ Marriage I know isn't perfect, but it's mostly beautiful if the members complement each other and If the competition is "Money"... I don't see a competition to begin with.

1. How can you not be aware of the list you quoted earlier when speaking on how having a partner to support one in old age when illness sets in was of benefit?

2. Bullsheet! There is nothing perfect in this world so saying marriage isn't perfect means absolutely nothing. Marriage, like every other business out there, is required to provide value that people can relate to—none of these meaningless pronouncements of no tangible essence. So long as it benefits individuals to remain single rather than be in a committed agreement that leaves them more depleted than if they had remained single, marriage will continue to decline in worth and value.

joseph1832:
now this is the essence of marriage. People like you believe there's such a thing like perfect marriage, when infact, there isn't. This is were you miss it all.

WOW.... Are you actually admitting to the fact that the suffering of the married tends to outweigh that of the unmarried in many Nigerian scenarios?

fawaz050:
The business image must be protected at all cost. PR Stunt at its best.

The woman is a lawyer so I don't see why she should not sue for defamation at this point. If this had instead happened to the pastorpreneur, his team of lawyers would have attacked her and her entire family for it.

Olorilolo:
■ I don't know what you perceived as "lies"... The fact that any of the spouses can fall sick? What plan are people making at the end of life? What plans could be more than being surrounded by your family and slipping away peacefully in their arms. Nothing beats that for me. You are right when you say marriage is not bound to give you these but that is when you're in a bad marriage.
■ There are good marriages out there, not one without it's challenges but there are good marriages nonetheless. It's a beautiful thing.

Look, the fact of life is this, people will almost always prefer to buy products that will be of more benefit to them than to others. Marriage needs to be of great benefit to both men and women before they choose to commit.

In the days of our ancestors, the benefits were outlined in the traditional marriage laws of the time. Those laws no longer hold weight in the society we live in today. People are less inclined to follow along with the old ways just because it is that. They now understand that the choices they make directly impact their particular quality of life and so many are less likely to make sacrifices for the good of others. This means the marriage laws or rules needed, including the guaranteed benefits list, ought to be updated to keep people interested.

2. Marriage can only be beautiful if what it offers is better than the competition.

TTPAAR:
■ Na wa ooo .. calm down na

Na so dem go dey use una head dey make money for themselves be this. Do these men calm down when you attempt to defame them similarly?

Olorilolo:
■ Well, it goes both ways. There's nothing silly about those reasons and my brain is fully engaged. If you run because of these, what if you end up needing them yourself. Good healthcare or none, no one wants to experience what it means to be alone in old age. Even in developed worlds, hospice is the last place anyone wants to be.

First of all, let's stop lying abeg! Hospice is not the last place anymore as more and more people make plans ahead of time so that they can get the best care in their last days in many of these places.

Second, most people are more than aware these days that chances are slim to none that another human being would go out of their way to show them that level of kindness even in marriage. Go ask the many who were abandoned by the so-called love of their life in marriage after falling ill. So, again, it makes better sense to argue for improving the healthcare system than suggest people are bound to find this level of marriage support.

BafanaBafana:
In summary what they are saying is that it is not the pastors fault. It is the fault of the woman.

And this woman is a Lawyer, abi?

UncleAyo:
Even this their statement showcase pride and arrogance. I am yet to see an apology to the disgraced lady.People should alway read out their own statements to themselves before making it public. What do I even know. What is Christianity becoming these days. Well it has always been like that.

If indeed the man lied, she should have sued him for defamation of character. If our lawyers can't stand up for themselves, what benefit can they offer others dealing with the same or similar?

Faposky95:
Is marriage a fact or the truth.......?

None! It is merely an option available to those who see benefit in it.

Olorilolo:
■ When you lose 70% of your sight to Cataract by 62, you'd know what it means to be alone.
■ When you're sick and the doctors tender investigations for your family to go and do, drugs to go and get, you'd know Money can't buy you everything
No matter what you see in marriages now, Money and all these plans can never replace a wife. She'll change your diaper, spoon feed you and tend to your wounds when that times comes. She'll grieve with you, rejoice with you, hold your hands on your dying bed. Don't let ego blind you.

1. You can get the necessary treatment for that these days. Ask why Cataracts is no longer as big of a deal in developed countries.

Abeg, stop offering silly reasons for crying out loud. These are all reasons why the Health system should be improved upon and not why a person should choose marriage abeg! Stop letting your ego do the talking for you without engaging your brain first. What woman would want to sign up for marriage given all of the reasons above? Na to run for her life she go wan do first.

Hanndye:
■ Am resting my case as you cannot provide an evidence to prove your notion, hence you have no proof. Case closed, isn't it?

WOw.... the famous argument by Pigheadedness Christians are notorious for using!

The invincible ignorance fallacy, also known as an argument by pigheadedness, is a deductive fallacy of circularity where the person in question simply refuses to believe the argument, ignoring any evidence given. It is not so much a fallacious tactic in argument as it is a refusal to argue in the proper sense of the word. The method used in this fallacy is either to make assertions with no consideration of objections or to simply dismiss objections by calling them excuses, conjecture, anecdotal, etc. or saying that they are proof of nothing, all without actually demonstrating how the objection fit these terms. It is similar to the ad lapidem fallacy, in which the person rejects all the evidence and logic presented, without providing any evidence or logic that could lead to a different conclusion.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

rexchazy:
Better, they are afraid of Nigerian lawyers that will want to use the case for cashout

She should have used the case to cashout; that man would have done exactly the same to her if this had been the other way around.

Bacteria8:
■ That's why the religious sector will continue to prosper... because they're very good at "customer service"
If the pastor was to be a politician or a CEO like that strong head CEO of Erisco foods...they will rather die than admit that they were wrong, shelve their ego and listen to verdicts of public opinion

Good at customer service my butt! They are good manipulators is instead what this is. If this issue had been the other way around, would the same man not have sued that woman for her last kidney by now?

SeeWahala:
■ You watch YouTube, nnspd and whatever(s) too don't you?

That bullsheet! Tufiakwa! My mom knows that every time she turns on the TV to watch it, she will only hear me calling the man out for the scammer that he is.

cutecommend:
If people's first and best love was their spouses, and if the first love of their spouses was them, and if their first ever sex experiences was between them and their spouse in marriage; and the first ever sex experience of their spouses was with them in marriage. And if husbands are hardworking, loving teachable and kind, and wives are submissive, teachable and respectful, maybe marriage will be better...

Huh?

JustcallmeFavou:
■ How do you expect most marriages to work, when some marriages these days, has become transactional? Most folks are now getting married to strangers instead of to their friends. Some just want to get married cos all their friends are already married, and they seem like the odd one out.
If you ask me, marriage is beautiful. Pray to get it right with the right person, and who knows, you might have your happily ever after here on earth.

Mariage has always been transactional; even your forefathers were aware of this and established their traditional laws based on this knowledge. Marriage remains transactional to this day only now people don't consider it worth their investment.

Saying marriage is beautiful means absolutely nothing. And prayer has more than proven ineffective in securing one's investments in marriage, so stop prescribing the same old failed ideas abeg! Come up with new more beneficial ways to innovate marriage and people would consider it of worth again.

SeeWahala:
Don't mind BigYash I myself I listen to YouTube, nnspd and whatever(s) . . . do i have bad mouth? NO Don't generalize just because of a few. Just do your job diligently and leave the other woman to do her own. You will be fine Are you called 'patience' by any chance? Cos if its not your name on paper you'll definitely need to have it somewhere else on you 😏

A few? You must be joking!

Hanndye:
Case closed, isn't it?

The issue here is Jesus Christ — His teachings and commandments, God's Law — seems more of an afterthought to you than anything else. You seem to be under some idea that everything Jesus Christ said must be interpreted based on your ideas of what is presented in the rest of the New Testament— Ideas mostly culled from that which you have gleaned from your religious leaders. This is as opposed to validating everything else presented in the rest of the New Testament against that which was first spoken by Jesus Christ. Why?

Hanndye:
■ I had told you: give me an instant, where it was recorded, in the Bible where a non-Israelite was rejected and prevented from being baptized, hence becoming a Christian an you couldn't do that. Why!?

I more than gave you an instant! I gave you Jesus Christ Himself telling His followers not to give that which is Holy — The Gospel of Jesus Christ — to the dogs(non-Israelites) - Matthew 7 vs 6 - in addition to Jesus Christ establishing the fact that His Gospel belongs only to the Lost Sheep of Israel who His Father sent Him to - John 3 vs 14 - 18 & Matthew 15 vs 24. His disciples never took His Gospel to the dogs(non-Israelites) in following the example given to them along with that commanded of them by their Master, Jesus Christ. So, why do you reject Jesus Christ and His commandments is what the issue here at this point?

Divoc19:
I’ll start looking. I know I will find. Thanks. Kids are fine. Dad is supportive of them. This is a wake up call. Am taking it in good faith.

And when you get to the new job and find someone exactly like her there, hope you also intend to find a new job even then rather than upping your game?

vibbb:
Lots of people (Ladies) miss interpret the through meaning of feminism and that has been a major set back to family life. Once you are being infected with feminism virus family life tends to have no true meaning any more. Most women who are crusaders of the so called feminism don't understand the through concept and applications.

Nonsense!

HeatSeeker:
■ You need to be calming down aunty

Na so dem go dey use una head dey make money for themselves be this. Do these men calm down when you attempt to defame them similarly?

TTPAAR:
I think seeing all the measures Dr Paul Enenche of the Dunamis church has taken concerning the situation that happened with Ms Ayim Vera is enough apology. I advise we let the matter die since she has declared her loyalty and love for the pastor.

Nonsense! She suppose sue him instead or at least pay for damages to her image as a lawyer. That way not only restore her image as an individual but also establish herself as a no-nonsense lawyer. But then, do Nigerians want a no-nonsense lawyer or just someone who is on good terms with their gods of men?

Hanndye:
■ Tell me how they fast according to the Old testament.
■This is what the Holy Spirit says in the Book of Revelation (22:17): The Spirit and the bride say, “Come!” And let the one who hears say, “Come!” Let the one who is thirsty come; and let the one who wishes take the free gift of the water of life.
■On Jesus part He had said: 'Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,' Matthew 28:19.
■If you like to know this is what had transpired :
Genesis 22:15-18
15 The angel of the Lord called to Abraham from heaven a second time 16 and said, “I swear by myself, declares the Lord, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, 17 I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, 18 and through your offspring[a] all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me.” You still want to say something?

Why are these desperate attempts to deviate from the main issue here which is that Jesus Christ did establish that His Father sent Him ONLY to the Lost Sheep of Israel?

2. This is instead what is written in the context you quoted from the book of Revelations. Notice that the context of what is written is the same Jesus Christ whose teachings and commandments are recorded in the Gospels.

16 “I, Jesus, have sent my angel to testify to you about these things for the churches. I am the root and the descendant of David, the bright morning star.”
17 The Spirit and the Bride say, “Come.” And let the one who hears say, “Come.” And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price.
18 I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: if anyone adds to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book,
19 and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God will take away his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book.
20 He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!
21 The grace of the Lord Jesus be with all.[d] Amen. - Revelations 22 vs 16 - 21

The Holy Spirit whom you pretend spoke a different thing did not change anything of what Jesus Christ said in His Gospels. He upholds Jesus Christ, the one who told you in Matthew 15 vs 24 that He was sent by His Father — the God of Israel — only to the Lost sheep of Israel. Why you go all the way to the Book of Revelations for information to try to make a liar of Him is beyond me.

3. Here's the message that Jesus Christ gave to His followers in that same passage you quoted from. Note that the instruction was that His followers teach to those whom they are sent to all that which He, Jesus Christ previously taught to them, and this would include....

16 Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them.
17 And when they saw him they worshiped him, but some doubted.
18 And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.
19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[b] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,
20 teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” - Matthew 28 vs 16 - 20

... the fact that dogs(Non-Israelites) were not to be given that which is Holy, and redemption as offered by Jesus Christ via the Davidic covenant does not belong to the dogs (Non-Israelites).

The World Jesus Christ sent His followers into is the same world that He made clear was previously cursed by God in the desert after which He then raised the Bronze snake - John 3 vs 14 - 18. That world consisted only of the children of Israel— the Lost sheep of Israel described in Matthew 20 vs 22-24—, and that is the same world that He sent His disciples into. There are today Israelites in pretty much all nations of the world, and the work He sent His disciples out to do is to gather them all back from every tribe, every tongue, and every nation of the world, just as described in Matthew 25 vs 31 - 33.

4. That passage has nothing to do with this here issue abeg!

MostHigh:
■ You will always quote out of context Bidam thank you for putting it in the correct context
You did not answer yes or no to paul being a judaizer. but I will still respond to your post to point out your error
1. you are a gentile hence you are to recive salvation not directly but through another race (why would any christlike person confess to be a gentile?)
2. you belive that my telling you to obey the law is a heavy burden but this is only true because first you are a gentile an unbeliver
If you had been a jew it would not be a burden it would have been to you for reproof and for instructions in rightouseness
God is HOLY first, Rightousness is just an extension OF HIS DIVINE CHARACTER. Without the LAW there would be no concept of [/b]RIGHTOUSNESS[/b]

I don't follow. I got the impression that you held the words of Jesus Christ above the words of Paul but it seems you don't do that either, or am I wrong?

▶ How did you conclude that the other whom you responded to was a gentile(a non-Jewish Israelite) and not a dog(one of those whom Jesus Christ warned His followers not to give that which is Holy to)? In Matthew 7 vs 6 & Matthew 15 vs 20 - 28, Jesus Christ clearly expressed how His teachings — Redemption from the curse of the Old Law that came through God's covenant with David — was not to be handed to the dogs — Non-Israelites. So, How were you able to ascertain that the commenter you responded to was in fact of the blood of Jacob/Isreal, to begin with?

▶ But the Law was given by God for a National Constitution in the Nation of Israel in the Land of Canaan - Deuteronomy 30 vs 15 - 20. That Nation was eventually judged and destroyed by God first in 720BC with the destruction of the Israel half by the Assyrians whom God used to punish the Nation and second by the Romans beginning in 70 AD when the sister nation, Judah, was Judged and decimated. Out of curiosity, If the physical nation to which the Law belonged no longer exists — thanks to God's judgment and destruction—, what value is there to be had in living under that National Constitution? If Nigeria were today destroyed and colonized by foreigners who then abandoned the original Constitutional Law, adopting an entirely different Law or system in its place, is there value to be had in choosing to live under the Old system and Law at that time?

PastorKun:
Acts 15:5-11...
5 Then some of the believers who belonged to the party of the Pharisees stood up and said, “The Gentiles must be circumcised and required to keep the law of Moses.”
6 The apostles and elders met to consider this question. 7 After much discussion, Peter got up and addressed them: “Brothers, you know that some time ago God made a choice among you that the Gentiles might hear from my lips the message of the gospel and believe. 8 God, who knows the heart, showed that he accepted them by giving the Holy Spirit to them, just as he did to us. 9 He did not discriminate between us and them, for he purified their hearts by faith. 10 Now then, why do you try to test God by putting on the necks of Gentiles a yoke that neither we nor our ancestors have been able to bear? 11 No! We believe it is through the grace of our Lord Jesus that we are saved, just as they are.”

This one na ridiculous response naw! It answers absolutely none of the questions posed nor does it address the issues raised by the OP.

benatex:
We all hear that on that day,the Lord will show us all what we have been doin from the second we were. I wanna ask our bible scholars,pastors etc. will anyone beside you also watch the video of your life or only you will be shown the 'video'

Your pastors, scholars, and gods of men lied to you regarding judgment day.

niceface:
■ Naturally as human, your instinct will tempt you to relate one or two events and draw conclusions. This is often wrong especially when we limit our judgements to surface analysis rather than subjecting such cases to critical in-depth analysis.
This has always been the case when you label a town/village/community as being ‘bad’ due to some few bad heads in such communities. Recent happenings in Nasarawa State do not make everyone from the State an Ombatse worshipper. Also, the security challenges in the North do not make every Northerner a Boko Haram.
Over the years, some communities have been labeled as adulterous/ violent/ fetish people due to few incidents of such acts in those communities. However, that does not make everyone from those communities guilty as charged. It is therefore highly imperative for us to change our orientation and mind-set and learn to give people rooms to prove themselves.
Just like the adage “You cannot from a distance feel the taste of a soup”, you cannot because you encountered one or two bald-headed persons as you arrive a village, labeled it as bald-headed society. It is not uncommon for people to punish innocent ones because of their origin.
Man is an irrational being and each individual you come across is a unique being. Therefore, you cannot predict correctly what an individual is capable of at first encounter.
I therefore urge you to try to overcome the natural instinct and give people rooms to prove their worth before you crucify them. Remember in court, a suspect is presumed innocent until proven otherwise. Let us be fair in our dealings with others and be good to all. Together we can make the world a better place.

Interesting opinion expressed over a decade ago. I wonder if OP holds the very same to this day.

MostHigh:
■ This post is addressed to Goshen Shidedemi and drummaboy.I will make it short and simple.You have all been quite evasive over the issue of paul observing all jewish traditions and cultures as witnessed by scripture
Not one of you have been able to defend your position when asked this question. Shidedemi tried by propsing the vows taken by paul were from a different lifetime and that after his conversion he was compelled to complete it.
I have kindly shown him his errors by stating acts 18:18 happend after his conversion.
My question is..
1. Can you tell me why you are quoting pauls words and only pauls words to fight against yashua AND NOT DOING AS PAUL DID?
2. And even after you have seen paul as a JUDAIZER as you put it why are you still raging and imagining a vain thing?
AWAITING RESPONSES

OP, it has been over a decade since you asked these questions. What I would very much like to know is whether since that time you have had a change of mind and maybe joined the bandwagon of those who cast Jesus Christ aside to raise in HIs place their twists(interpretations of the words of Paul)?

segzytemi:
■ If God were to inspire me to write a book, the words in my book would still be my words. They would not be the word of God.
Ask a Christian a question about Jesus, and he might answer with a quotation from Paul. But who tells us Paul speaks for Jesus? Why do weneed Paul to speak for Jesus when Jesus speaks for himself? Why do we need Paul to speak for Jesus when Jesus himself warns us: “Be on your guard; I have told you everything ahead of time?” (Mark 13:23). If Jesus has toldus all we need to know, why do we need someone else to add to, or subtract from, whathe said?
Limitations of scripture
The word of God is, and will forever be, with God. (John 1:1). God created all things with hisword. He spoke his word to the patriarchs andthe prophets of Israel. Then he sent his word to the world in the person of Jesus, his Son. The word of God now sits at the right hand of God from where he speaks into the hearts andminds of sons of God and judges all things. There is no scriptural basis whatsoever for concluding that this word of God is the same as the word of Paul.

I very much hope you hold these same views to this day.