₦airaland Forum

steadygo:
➜I'm not a "Christian", but I do believe in God.
➜ My belief comes from my own experiences and reading various writings on God and spirituality.

There are over 4000 deities out there, so you would need to be specific regarding the identity of your particular deity if it is outside of the Christian pantheon. 🥱🥱

2. Also, the original question is regarding the gods that belong to the Christian patheon— over 46,000 denominations. So, why do you assume that your ideas should fit within that set? 🥱🥱

funnyDM:
➜Now, go and meet her. Show her love. Then ask her to list the things she doesn't like about you.
Then you both can iron it out. Compromise where necessary.

Are you kidding? Someone literally gave you a list showing that he dislikes and probably thought to manage her from the beginning. Yet your advice is that he go show her love? Sometimes I wonder whether some of you are OK in the head or maybe just robots who have completely lost connection with their humanity. Either that or you folks simply hate seeing other people pursue happiness instead of a life in the same ball-and-chains that may already be your life. 🥱🥱🥱

Mikedel80:
➜She argues too much
She is disrespectful
She is stubborn
She acts like a man
She dresses the way she likes. Not the way I want
She prays too much which a red flag.
After the prayers, she goes back into ungodly behaviours
I've warned her to put little or no salt in our food still yet salt is her best ingredient
Even Maggi, she go to the market and buy packs of Maggi. I hate Maggi. She no dey hear word.

None of these make her a bad wife, but they certainly show that you don't like her at all. You probably did not like her before all of this, but chose to marry her anyway. So, yeah, let's not dump it all at her doorstep.

steadygo:
➜You are free to disagree. I've lost interest in convincing anyone about anything spiritual for a good time now. I only give my own views. God is praised for good things by people who believe His Will for us is good, He is the source of Goodness and thereby everything good comes through Him. If human beings with their free will, which alone does not amount to evil, decide to disobey the Will of God and bring evil on themselves then God is not to blame for that but only the human beings.

The Christian pantheon seems to be a set of confusion. With over 46,000 different interpretations/denominations, each claiming their version of ideas is the authentic one, it is impossible to conclusively arrive at any facts regarding the Christian pantheon and what it holds.

plessis:
By being submissive, I mean did she ever use her own resources to take care of you or invest in your vision?

Why do you assume she should have done that? 🥱🥱🥱

Did OP equally submit his resources to take care or invest in her visions? 🥱🥱🥱

Mikedel80:
That's really true. Thanks so much Kobojunkie. I really appreciate your support and advice. I just need to get out of this mess this 2026

I wish your wife could come online to tell us her side of the story. Maybe that will help her also move on from this marriage that seems to have already hit a brick wall. 🥱🥱🥱

Mikedel80:
✓ I don't really care about child custody. She is better of with the boy so that I can concentrate and hustle. That boy na 2 in 1

Wrong! That child is yours too and so you need to raise him too. The only reason I suggest you have custody in the beginning is because she does not have a job and may not be able to afford her own place and stuff right after the divorce. Otherwise, shared custody is the way for parents with children so the kids get to spend time with both parents and get loved by both throughout childhood. 🥱🥱🥱

Disinfectant123:
✓ Need to say more? Christians getting killed around the world and God responding with "I have a plan" What Plan? Allowing their heads being blown off?

When did the deity of the Christians tell you this? 🤔🤔

Mikedel80:
No. She sells stuffs online

Oh, then you may need to take full custody of the child-- she should pay your child support during the period-- until she is able to get her feet on the ground to the point that joint custody then makes sense. 🥱🥱

Mikedel80:
✓ Yes. Just one

Does your wife work? 🥱🥱

Mikedel80:
✓ That's really serious. I'll see to that. Maybe I'll call a family meeting this January. If there are no ways to go around it, then the inevitable will happen

What do you need a family meeting for when the writing is clearly on the wall? And what are the possible ways around this except for you to continue living with a woman is nothing but a roommate with a Mrs badge? And that resentment that caused her to lash out on you... do you think you can basically make it disappear as if it doesn't exist? 🥱🥱

Anyways, do you have children? 🥱🤔

Mikedel80:
✓ So until I kill myself in the process of becoming a good husband, then you will give me an award. Whatever, the point is that I feel nothing for her now. I don't know how we can carry on

1. I already told you that you are best getting a divorce at this point since your combined actions have already resulted in deep-seated animosity that you two are likely never to return from. 🥱🥱🥱

I also made clear that I could never recommend you both try to patch things up or try to manage each other as you are. That sheet did not work out for our grandparents and parents..I can't recommend it to anyone out there including yourself knowing how intertwined we all really are in community. 🥱🥱🥱

Mikedel80:
✓ You're making it look like she is a saint. She has done many rubbish that I had to put up with and compromised. I didn't turn bad.
✓ I didn't change my characters. I didn't turn abusive. I didn't start insulting her. I let things slide. But e reach her turn, she turn abusive, combative, disrespectful and stubborn. I spent the millions of Naira to marry her. So she doesn't understand what marriage is. If she had brought some millions for the marriage expenses, maybe she will respect the marriage

1. Again, you continue to use words that have nothing to do with human beings. 🙄🙄

Your wife does not have to be a saint in this. She merely needs to be a good wife, and none of your complaints regarding her point to her being a bad wife. So, you literally gave me nothing to indicate that she was any of that to you. 🥱🥱

2. Absolutely none of these makes you a good husband though. 🥱🥱🥱

Mikedel80:
Nobody is perfect. I've not been married before. So I lack experience. I'm learning on the job

This has nothing to do with perfection but about being a good husband, something any intentional man can achieve with discipline and fervor. 🥱🥱

And clearly, you did not achieve that with your wife, hence the reason why you brought us the question. That woman did not change overnight.... something triggered that change in her overtime and if you are honest with yourself, you will at least admit that you had a hand in making her that way about you. 🥱🥱🥱

Mikedel80:
✓ You said I caused her to lose respect for me. You maybe correct to certain extent. It's because I'm gentleman if not, I would have beaten her up during one of those her rubbish behaviours. But I let things slide and handled it in a gentleman's way

You made it seem the animosity that resulted in her actions came out of no where, but it usually never does, especially with women. It builds over time. What that means your gentlemanly self was, in fact, a literal arsehole to this woman to the point she began despising you to the point of going at you. So, yeah, you were not a good husband at all. 🥱🥱🥱

You may have done a lot to appear a good man to outside but were a literal arsehole for a while to the woman you were married to. 🥱🥱🥱

Manjapa:
✓ It's all started 2023,when I got my first job with a shipping company.
I was connected by one of my old time friend.
Fast forward,I started the job,a well paying job, within a short period of time,I bought a landed property in my state, because I am the kind of person that love properties from a very young age I always wanted to own alot of property.
And because of the kind of life I live,it was easier for me,I don't smoke or do drugs or womanize or drink.
I will cut the story short, because of time.
After few months which was last year again,I bought another property and started building,I felt like God has finally favoured me forever,I built the house up to roofing level [size=8pt]which I had to stop because of some advice I got that I shouldn't rush everything once by my father.
As of this time it was June last year.
By July suddenly some of us where laid off, because the whites sold it to a Nigerian company, because of the whole economy policies.
That was how,I started managing myself,then fast forward to November my dad was kidnapped,which I paid 6 million to get him released,inside that Same November my mum was kidnapped,had to sell my two landed property to get her release which they demanded for 5million last,it all happened like a dream, seeing everything I worked to gather widering way without me unable to help myself.
I became depressed,and Said,but I believe God will do it again.

I only have my building left,I am 30 years now,my only thing I own now is that building.
My plan is to sell the building,and start life again, please I need advice my fellow brothers
and sisters.
Should I sell it and start business, because I promised my dad I will give him grandson before he leaves this world,apart from the marriage I am just stuck,
✓ I need to move forward,at least I can get 10 million from the building,but I spent up to 12million though,I know I can't get up to that amount back.
I need to keep moving,if 10 million will take me out of this country I would have traveled if I sell it,but 10 million can't.
I seriously need advice
Had to cut the story short, because of time
Thank you all[/size]

The same father who gave you terrible advice back in June, who couldn't protect himself and wife is the same one you literally wish to now sell your house to please? 🙄🙄🙄

Even your story of the kidnapping of your fa to father followed in the same period by your mother get K-leg. You sure say no be your Papa plan am? 🥱🥱

2. If you had finished the house, you could have maybe rented a portion of it out to people and been collecting rent instead. Why not go get yourself a job instead? Or continue to manage until you get your next job? 🥱🥱🥱

Abandon all delusions of marriage and children until you are firm on your feet. Stop trying to please people who could not even help you when you needed help the most. 🥱🥱🥱

brain54:
✓ If you no longer like her...
And you are tired of the marriage. Don't you think you should find happiness elsewhere instead of living a miserable life?
If it's not working move on. I can't imagine what it would feel like living with a partner you don't speak with for a year!

Majority of our ancestors did exactly. That is why many of them could never stop cheating on their wives --- yes, even those in polygamous marriages were not exempt from the foolishness -- even until the end. They were very miserable in marriage. 🥱🥱🥱

Mikedel80:
✓ Please my people help judge this family matter.
The truth of the matter is that I have not had sex with my wife for one year now and we live in the same house. The problem is that she killed the chemistry. My dick no longer stands for her. I'm not moved at all even if she is naked. I've lost the attraction and hence the erection for her. The reason is because she became stubborn, disrespectful and not submissive. She argues too much and ready to be combative. She no longer stays in her feminine state. As a result I lost the sexual urge I use to have for her. So I don't touch her It's more than a year we made love and we no longer talk to each other. I don't even know if I can ever have erection for her again. I used to like her when we newly got married. But I no longer like her again. My thing stands very well outside but can't stand for her. I'm tired of the marriage. My not having erection for her is natural. She caused it. I'm not the cause.
What do you think I should do guys cos we have a son together and we're legally married.

From what you posted, what is clear is that you caused your wife to lose respect for you first. If you had worked with her towards adequately resolving the problems she kept raising, she may have gradually regained respect for you and had no more reasons to resist or argue with you. So, yes, you were not a good husband to her. 🤔🤔

I would recommend that since you both already checked out on each other at this point, divorce as soon as possible, rather than continue pouring precious time and life energy into an already leaking bucket. You should both go your separate ways so you can find love and fulfillment through other means or with other partners. 🥱🥱

You could consider patching things like our grandparents and parents did but we have more than enough data today to know they were not happy even at that. And with just this one life to live, you need to decide whether you want to live happy or miserable with someone you don't like but have to force yourself to tolerate. 🥱🥱

As for the children, joint custody is the way to go with the kids spending 50% of their time with each parent so they can receive love of both parents regardless. 🥱🥱

Newgirl206:
Sorry for creating another thread, really don't know how it works

Since you already have the two, might as well continue with both. 🤔

Faithfulfaythe:
✓ I can’t believe what I just read is real. This isn’t love. You don’t love yourself at all and value yourself and your husband knows and takes advantage of it. I wish you well since you don’t want advice

A lot of men intentionally seek out women who have damaged and/or low self esteem for that very reason. They need such women to pour out themselves into the men while the men rarely ever need to reciprocate the same energy since such women lie to themselves that that their worth is measured in how much of themselves they are able to sacrifice for and to the man. 😩😩

Esthered:
✓ Is this love or obsession?
I'm trying not to believe this is real.

It is obsession, the particular brainwashing that the average Nigerian/African woman is trained to confuse as love from both those in the traditional and religious circles. It is to keep them clinging even to men that literally hate them and also those that maybe even want to kill them. 🤔

Newgirl206:
I don't know how this thing works, if am posting it right or not but please you guys should just search for the part two and three 🙏🙏 I have already posted them.

Go read this story https://www.nairaland.com/8586462/man-cries-out-after-wife

Find the video of the man and then the woman on tiktok and learn from women who may have been in your situation or worse. If you are tight with your family, now is the time to have them help you ensure you do not bare the burden that is those children all by yourself. 🥱🥱

Divorce him as soon as you are ready to move on from the pain of what I presume is now your past. And make up your mind to never place another human being above you in this life or another.🥱🥱

We4all:
✓ OP brought guns to a stick fight.

Wow...you really are putting so much effort into minimizing the assault that OP reported there, for reasons beyond me. 🥱🥱

Judges can only dismiss under special circumstances. 🥱🥱

Yes, a judge can dismiss a misdemeanor case at various stages for reasons like insufficient evidence, constitutional violations (speedy trial, illegal search), procedural errors, or to allow for rehabilitation through diversion programs, often with defense attorney requests or prosecutorial agreement, though prosecutors also have the power to drop charges.

Again, the law is on OP's side. Yet you continue to make it seem instead that the law is on the uncle's side in this. How come? 🥱🥱🥱

Newgirl206:
✓ And yes...... I am trying to be at peace with myself for my own sake, for the sake of my boy, and for the sake of my unborn baby. I am trying to love myself and put myself first, and I hope I get there. It won't be easy, but it can definitely happen.

You ended up having 2 kids for him? Go straight to the courts with documents showing the man is the father of the two children and request for joint custody of those children. He should have to raise them too since they are also his and you need any free time you can get to rebuild your broken life after what he did to you. 🤔

Be sure to let him know that you don't mind him having full custody of the children -- if you will pay child support, with you visiting or checking up on their welfare every so often. Divorce that man as soon as you are mentally able to, and refuse to listen to anyone that tries to lie to you that you are to blame or deserve the monstrous things he put you through. 🤔🤔

You are just 26 and only just beginning your life. You have already tried marriage and hopefully learned the hard way that it is not meat and potatoes. What you need now is to focus on rebuilding your mind, your self esteem and beginning, probably for the first time ever to discover who you truly are without validation from men. And my hope is that you spend the next couple of years alone (without a man) learning to love your own self. 🤔

After you have sufficiently built yourself up and become comfortable in who your own skin, then you can then have the confidence to step out and look for someone who will not use your energy without benefitting you equitably. 🤔

Memberclub:
na blood dey the pussy ni lol. to get hiv you have to go anal with some serious friction back to back

What you are insinuating is that you know better than the National institute of Health which instead states that it is transmitted through bodily fluids. 😩😩😩

HIV spreads through specific body fluids—blood, semen, vaginal fluids, rectal fluids, and breast milk—most commonly through unprotected sex, shared needles, or perinatal transmission. The likelihood of transmission varies based on factors like the type of sexual intercourse, any other infections, and HIV viral load.

I really don't understand how you folks can reason as you do even right in the middle of the information age.🥱🥱

guobe:
✓ Are you sure grandma really said this?
The mum can say it but for grandma I don't think so

It is high time you had a candid conversation with your grandmother about her life and her regrets. Also, ask if she would like for you to raise her granddaughters the same way she was herself raised to worship the ground that her husband walked, as you described(in your op) that she had had to do in her own marriage. 🥱🥱🥱

We4all:
1. So, what stopped him from reporting his uncle to the police instead of going physical? That would have been the best thing to do since he claims they have no relationship.
2. You just answered the question yourself. Slapping someone is a common assault and regarded as a misdemeanor. Sexual assault on the other hand is a felony that can attract a long jail term or even a death sentence. So, why should one react the same way to both actions?
I hope you get it?
3. I would apologise to him because I over reacted, and not everything should be taken seriously; especially if the other party is much older. The uncle meant no harm at all, but the OP overreacted because he was holding a grudge.

1. He was able to reasonably defend himself from his assaulter... that is what stopped him, and according to the law, that is also the best thing to do when one can.

2. Oh, I see! So, if the man had slapped you on the butt, for instance, that would also have been a "common excusable assault" and not sexual assault? WOW...

Anyways, back to the issue! So, though you admit that his uncle committed what you refer to as a misdemeanor against the OP, somehow you insist that OP had no reason to defend or return the favor? 🥱🥱

3. Your response to a misdemeanor committed by him against you is an overreaction, but his misdemeanor is not? 🥱🥱

Memberclub:
Sex once and get hiv lol. Cooked up stories. Unless he an anal god

Are you OK in the head? How can you believe that a sexually transmitted disease takes several tries to achieve? What is wrong with you people? 🥱🥱🥱

kpankpangolo:
➜Believe this at your peril. The Swiss don’t care how you made money. Their job is to keep it tightly in their vaults. If this was true, they would have long frozen all of Abacha’s loot or returned them. Besides, these men have percentages of wealth which they hide under different names.

First, the news is straight from Reuters. Second, Abacha was never former[y indicted as a criminal by the Nigerian courts.

Yes, former Nigerian military ruler Sani Abacha was never formally indicted before his death, but his regime and family were heavily implicated and prosecuted posthumously for massive corruption, including stealing billions from Nigeria, leading to major asset recovery efforts and legal cases against his family for embezzlement and money laundering, with the U.S. and Swiss governments securing billions in stolen funds and his sons facing charges.

Maduros was indicted back in 2020 and had a 25 million dollar bounty on his head. There is a huge difference.

RaySimran:
➜Federal Council freezes any assets held in Switzerland by Nicolás Maduro
Source:https://www.news.admin.ch/en/newnsb/4mdMVbqPTwY-5XoVHeNVP

WOW... what does that mean? Will the money be returned to the people or absorbed by the Swiss? 🥱🥱

LordIsaac:
You don't slap anyone under any circumstances besides self defense, not even your uncle! There are sane and legal means of resolving all conflicts! Go and apologize to him.

What OP did is in fact legal! 🥱🥱

Odingo1:
➜Is my own money that is use to start the business for her

Oh, my mistake! 🥱🥱

Abuse, particularly physical abuse, should mark the end of any relationship the very first time it occurs. You both should end the marriage immediately, and each should consider seeking individual mental health therapy to help you each process what took place during your marriage, and resolve any burdens that may be a problem for each. She can also seek treatment to help her understand why she resorted to violence against you and work on resolving those issues, too. 🥱🥱