₦airaland Forum

We4all:
➜ @Lexzeey..can you honestly answer the question above? Let me ask another question: if it was a renowned cultist or bandit that slapped you, would you retaliate?
➜ You clearly admitted that he was intoxicated, so your reaction was very wrong. Put yourself in his shoes, and imagine been hit by someone young enough to be your son, regardless of the circumstances.
➜ I think you were triggered by his criticisms due to guilty conscience. I should encourage you to go apologise, but of what use is that? He may never forgive you, and I am down with him on that. Next time, you will learn how to control your temper and not flex muscles with someone physically weaker just because you bear a grudge against him.

1. If a cultist, he may not seek direct assault but report him to the police. Still, the law would be on his side even then.

2. Wait a second... are you insinuating that if this uncle had maybe sexually assaulted you while drunk, you would do nothing about it? 🥱🥱

3. You would apologize to someone who assaulted you because he was drunk and didn't know better, or because he is older than you and didn't know better? 🥱🥱

alphonsojidebab:
UK-Based Nigerian Man Devastated as Wife Allegedly Sells His Properties, Disappears With Ex-Lover
https://eyesoflagos.com/2026/01/05/uk-based-nigerian-man-devastated-as-wife-allegedly-sells-his-properties-disappears-with-ex-lover/

Allegedly? 🥱🥱🥱

opera1:
➜Everything you put up there is not possible in real life. It's all fiction

I suggest you go have an honest talk with your mother, grandmother, and maybe aunts and sisters. You will be shocked that their stories may be a lot worse than OP's story.🥱🥱

Newgirl206:
➜Before I forget: during my pregnancy, I developed high blood pressure at just 26 years old. If I ask him what my offense is, he says 'nothing'—only that he just doesn't love me and that I forced him into marrying me.
✓ I have asked a few of my friends, including one of our mutual friends, to please help me talk to him. I want them to explain that him saying I forced him into marriage, along with so many other hurtful words, is really painful."

They say if a person tells you and/or shows you who they are, you should believe them that very first time. That is a fact! 🥱🥱

2. Human beings cannot change another human being. Forget the lies of traditions and religion to you. If you choose to continue clinging to this human being, you will only be clinging to someone who hates you. And yes, men are capable of staying married to even a woman they hate. Why? Because many times, the benefits of holding on to a woman one hates and using her for free house labor and emotional regulation(she could be a punching bag for relieving stress) outweigh the cost of going out there to find and possibly be rejected by the woman one prefers or yearns for. 🥱🥱

So are you willing to live your life clinging to —ever performing and trying to appease — someone who has more than shown you that you are hated? Or do you see better for yourself and maybe your child? 🥱🥱

Anyway, how old is this man? 🥱🥱

tunjijones:
✓ Hey... In this world, every man to himself.
Pls stop sulking on how he did not check on you while growing.
You know karma is a real, it will always catch on you.

Wait a second... This karma did not catch up with the uncle who never checked up on his own nephew but karma will catch up with the nephew for assaulting the same uncle who assaulted him? Are you people for real? 🥱🥱

And folks keep wondering why I keep insisting that tradition(and religion) are the major issues keeping people blind to the facts before them.in that country. 🥱🥱🥱

Lexzeey:
✓ Lol nothing is prickling me other than the fact that I feel restraint due to our African way of life, [b]an older person is always right[/b], first off the rubbish he kept saying did nothing to me, infact I like it when he talks endlessly of his failures and pains but refuses to call my name, that's fear, he followed me elsewhere and hit me on my back hence the slap, so yes no remorse at all.

Yes oh! They are so right that is why Nigeria ended up the trash pile that it is today....a failed state. 🥱🥱🥱

No mind the gaslighted morons -- the wrong crowd--- who still hold on to that delusion despite how much reality continues to shove the truth into their faces of how wrong the older generation Nigerian has always been. 🥱🥱🥱

guobe:
✓ Our great grand parents had alot of wives then and even the most senior wife will even marry a new young wife for the husband if she feels she is getting old and can't really meet up with what she use to do when she was younger.
If one of the many wives of the man passes away or is indisposed, other wives takes care of the man's home as the man will never be lonely surrounded by the other wives even till old age.
Present day parents now practice one man one wife and if anything happens to the only wife especially when the man is old,just give him 3 months, he has joined the wife in thy kingdom come. Who is smarter between our grandparents and the present parents ?

Are we talking here of many of the same grandmothers and mothers advising their daughters to pursue their careers, make money so that if any man gives them nonsense in marriage, they can immediately leave him and his kids without looking back? 🥱🥱🥱

Are we asking here of the very same grandmothers who now advise their grandchildren to never settle for a man and to choose themselves over love for a man any day? 🥱🥱

Clearly, they want their grandchildren to make smarter decisions than they and their own children made. 🥱🥱

Antichristian2:
✓ I don't think the Greek gods (or any other small gods) were referenced anwhere in the OP! Can you be focused please?

Well, you didn't provide us with a reference to where the deity in question unequivocally stated through any of his about 20 something prophets that he couldn't have a human form and go as far as to die a human death. So, the answer to your question is that it is not impossible for the deity in question to do so, even if it may be impossible for Allah of the Muslims. And I provided you with examples of other gods who have the ability to do exactly that. 🥱🥱🥱

Oh, I am quite focused since this subject I have been on and have come to realize how religion indeed traps individuals in self-made delusions in denial of even the facts right before their eyes. 🥱🥱

ope2711:
Thanks so much.

Also, Raise your boys exactly as you raise your girls ...they need to learn how to do everything and grow, not to be wives and husbands but to be decent citizens. If and when they decide to be husbands or wives should be their decision to make in future, not a burden that should be planted in their heads from childhood. Children should be allowed to live as children until they are grown and mentally able to switch over themselves. 🥱

So long as you teach them what you know is true(and not the jargons society shoves down our throat that turn out to be meaningless lies) , children will not only grow healthy emotional and mentally but also intellectually(a even adopt critical reasoning skills which are precious) and start off as adults better than you expected. If any of them falls behind, do not hesitate to engage a professional mental health counselor to help them tackle emotional burdens and son on. 🥱🥱

Odingo1:
✓ I am not owing her a dime, I have a profitable business and I am a sole provider in the union

You stated that the business was set up with her 3 million, did you not? 🥱🥱🥱

Antichristian2:
✓ You are still addressing what is in your head! There's no Muslim/Islamic presence in the thread!

Alright then. The Greek gods were known to take human form and experience human death as well in that form. So, the answer to your question is yes. 🥱🥱🥱

🥱🥱🥱 Waiting to read the rest of the story.

tunjijones:
Go and mark it today, your nephew or your niece will slap you too back.

Stop making up lies! Your rich men in the village assault una old men and women regularly. Even their children repeat the same crimes against your uncles, including their grandchildren. Una no dey do anything because you have a separate set of laws in your minds for them...laws that pretty much exempt them from being held directly accountable for any crime they commit against you all. 🥱🥱🥱

All of your traditional mumbo jumbo is usually fashioned against those whom you believe are on the same level(and lower) as you, and never those who are of a higher status. Ever wondered why? Traditional ideas are weapons fashioned against the poor and gullible, and never the rich and educated in status. 🥱🥱

ope2711:
➜Thanks but what exactly advice do you want to give me now? Pls

Whatever you are going through, those children are going through so much worse than you are. Their parents are no longer together, and the last thing they need is a father who will try to make them more miserable by changing their lives and making them feel even worse than they do right now about no longer having their mother in the picture. You were once a child... so try to put yourself back in the place of that child and imagine how you would have felt then if you woke up one day and your mother was no longer there to take care of you. Let that guide you in helping your children better cope with and adjust to having you as their primary caregiver rather than their mother.

Those children do not deserve to be punished or made to suffer for what happened between their adult caregivers. They don't deserve to look back at this time in their life and be filled with sadness and regret. They are children and will never have their childhood back once it is taken from them by trauma and abuse of any kind. They don't deserve to have to spend their adulthood struggling because any one of their caregivers chose to have them suffer when they didn't have to. If you have to, get movies out there about fathers raising mentally sound children, too. Watching movies about women doing so can help you learn how to train mentally sound children, too. Books are out there that you can look up and read/listen to if you need help. 🥱🥱🥱

First thing, do all you can to not have to disrupt their life. They should get up every morning to go to school and come back home. their chores and homework, and play as they have always been able to. If there is no adult supervision to watch them when they go outside, then they can stay in the house after school until you come back and watch them go play for no matter how short a time it may be. 🥱🥱

Second, do not lie to them and do not hide the situation from them. Whatever bitterness you feel towards their mother is your personal issue with her and not for you to trauma dump on those children. Just explain how sometimes things do not work between father and mother, but that does not mean they are no longer loved by either their father or their mother. And their mother will get herself together and contact them eventually.

Third, if you have a family member in the area— preferably a sister who is currently unemployed — suggest she spare you about 1- 3 months of her time during which you will pay her to help pick your children up from school and ensure they have their meals each day. During that time, she can also help teach the older kids how to make their meals on their own — simple foods like boiling rice, or making eba, and maybe running simple errands within the neighborhood (assuming they do not already know how to do that). (You can do major cooking of meals like making soup and stew for the week, over the weekend.)

Catch up on your children's school details, documents(hospital, identification, immunization records, drug allergies, etc.), while you are at it, so that in case of emergency, you know where everything is. Make out at least 1-3 hours each day to hang out with your kids at the end of your day, talking and listening to them and their daily experiences. (Make friends with your own children.) You can also watch a program together while you all hang out. Ensure to carry your youngest children because children that age need hugs and cuddles a lot, especially when things change around them that their fragile minds are having a hard time wrapping themselves around. Show interest in their lives and in their studies so they know they still have a parent present, even though one is currently not available.

Make sure to contact their mother and demand she take care of child support from her end, beginning this very month. If she tries to be some sort of deadbeat mother to her children, report her immediately to the proper courts and send a copy of the summons, if possible, to her parents' house.

---

There are lots of spaces online where Single Dads who wish to be intentional about raising their children well go to find support from other single dads.

Kimo21:
➜If you’re a men it’s natural to have wet dreams occasionally if your scrotal sack is full.
BUT if you’re always having sexual dreams or something comes upon you in your sleep to have sex with you then it’s spiritual. You need to take authority over it. You also need to check yourself if you’re always feeding yourself with lewd content as that can also trigger it

. Sex dreams affect different people differently. There is nothing spiritual about wet dreams, which happen to at least 95% of the population of the world.

BleedGraphix:
➜What has happened has happened. You are still favoured your kids are with you. My advise is you focus and orientate the two eldest in running the home activities so that they can inturn take care of the youger ones. This will reduce your stress while you focus on providing.
➜After their high school, make them learn skills immediately so they can support themselves even in tertiary. You can then find love after the first two have graduated. You will be fine.

You want him to punish his two eldest children for what happened? Why is it that the more time passes, the more it seems Nigerians never learn anything? Those two are children and are not supposed to act as parents to anyone, including their own selves. 🥱🥱🥱

2. Children have yet to learn what they need to, but you are already looking to force them to learn skills and into adulthood even before they have recovered from the traumas of childhood. I don talk am many times... Nigerians hate their children more than they hate themselves.🥱🥱🥱

You know this from the fact that every single suggestion you have given here is not to help the children grow up less traumaticized into better people and citizens of that country, but to help OP ease the burden that is the children off of himself, their so-called parent. It is always about making life easier for the parent concerned or taking care of the parent unit... the well-being — mental, physical and emotional —of the kids is almost always an afterthought. 🥱🥱🥱

Good2go1:
I have checked is not coming from top but it seems it is coming from the hole underneat the tiles,

Where is the image of the hole underneath the tiles? 🥱

You can install a small camera in the area for maybe 48 hours or 1 week to capture real life, what happens in that area when no one is looking. Definitely, if an animal, we are not talking about roaches here, unless they are mutant roaches.🤔🤔

Odingo1:
➜I need an opinion, I live in 1 bedroom room flat, room and parlour with dining of 800k per year, the landlord recently increased it to 1m but my wife insisted that we move to another room and parlour that is smaller and far from town only that the house have POP design at 1.6 million. I told her that the place we are staying is better and we can save 600k then unprovoked she said she have finished making arrangements with the other house that I must pay the money that day. To my greatest surprise she started physically pushing me around, bring out our wedding pictures and throw on it the bed and went to kitchen looking for kitchen knife. And bring out all my bag and ask me leave the house or she will smash all my belongings including labtops and phone. Is a shock to me, yet to recover. Note I am a sole provider in the union, she contribute nothing, I gave her monthly upkeep of 120k, I take care of every Damm expenses in the house. I started a lab business for her with 3 m. The marriage is about 10 months, no kid yet. We have not have major issues except minor issues which we resolve. I haven’t involved families yet, I want see opinions first, mod pls front page.

I suggest you separate yourself immediately from the environment, and consider ending the marriage as well. If you need to, move back immediately with your parents and stay there until you have successfully ended the marriage. Abuse is not acceptable under any condition. Also, begin working on paying her back the money you owe her. You should both, individually, seek counseling before considering any chances of reconciliation in the future.

illicit:
➜Thsts his uncle He is probably from a different time
➜ Some things are excusable in a normal african setting bcis of age or status differences
➜ Slapping your uncle even in retaliation doesn't sound right
➜ Would u slap ur dad back? Even tho he assaulted u?

1. Your uncle, regardless of what time he claims to be from, has never had any right to hit you. The law in Nigeria has been around long enough for every adult to realize what it says and take time to adjust to it. 🥱🥱

2. Arseholery is inexcusable, no matter where on this planet you claim to be from or in. 🥱🥱

3. The law allows you to fight back when assaulted. The law is on OP's side in this, while the law is against the Uncle's actions. 🥱🥱🥱

4. I don't care who you care. If you don't respect my rights as a human, there is no reciprocity from me. 🥱🥱

chatinent:
➜There were still better ways to solve the problems..

The Uncle should have learned that assault is never a good idea. That is the law, even in Nigeria.

TONYE001:
➜Possible, but not quite.
He didn't just abandon his medications. He switched to herbs. He has probably been brainwashed to believing that herbs are curative/better than routine antiretroviral medications.
So, switching to herbs is a survival maneuvre, for him, at least. This is how I see it.Not ruling out depression though...he's most likely depressed, but I doubt this is the reason behind his decision to discontinue medical care.

I see! But your story suggests that over time, he got weaker, meaning he did realize the herbs were not working. I feel pity for the 19-year-old girl who was dragged into this nightmare without experiencing adulthood fully for herself. 🥱🥱

In this world... what I know is that evil is man and man is evil.

TONYE001:
➜The drugs are totally free. Affordability was never an issue. This man is working in a big organization...he is actually financially comfortable.

Could it instead be depression that got him to abandon his treatment? I mean no matter how bad things get, the human survival instinct usually kicks in unless someone has become suicidal, right? 🥱🥱

TONYE001:
➜I totally agree with you!! Absolutely. I, however, believe he now regrets his actions...though it's obviously too late.
Yeah, stigmatization contributed to his withdrawal from ART care.
Stigmatization made him make a private arrangement to get medications for himself and his wife. At some point, his private source was no longer delivering the drugs as he should be taking. Naturally, at this point, he should have gone to a hospital for proper care...but, again, stigmatization may have hindered this...he basically didn't want anyone he may know see him in a department of a hospital responsible for caring for PLHIVs.
➜How do I know that this is likely the case? None of his siblings know about his situation. I forgot to add this part. He is yet to disclose his situation to his brothers, sisters, and parents. It's that bad.

1. I no longer believe in sob stories, abeg! Nigerian politicians and pastors regularly put on the same show, like literally every week... I am all sob-storied out. People are just wicked at their core. 🥱🥱🥱

2. And probably his in-laws are not aware that their daughter is also HIV positive, no thanks to the man whom they later married her off to. 🥱🥱🥱

TONYE001:
➜Source = A hospital proving care to people living with HIV (PLHIVs). Going to these hospitals to enroll and receive care would expose him to the public. Hospitals are public platforms...he may run into someone he knows...if there were not stigmatization, he wouldn't have worried about this...but because of stigmatization, he didn't want anyone to discover his situation.
Many years ago, while I was working with an international NGO that was involved in HIV care delivery services, I was approached by a man after work at a facility. He was seeking a possibility of me supplying him with his medications. I politely refused...and made a fair attempt to counsel him.
Another reason people work out personal arrangements is because of the crowd. Some people end up spending the entire day there.
Again, there are numerous private hospitals that work with NGOs in providing care for PLHIVs. In these hospitals, the crowd is minimal, or nonexistent. Those that cannot deal with the crowd of public hospitals should use private facilities... the drugs there are free too.

Oh! The drugs are free, too? I thought affordability was a particular issue from the story the man told. Interesting!

TONYE001:
➜The story is very true. I'm a very busy man, I neither have the time nor patience to come online to fabricate tales.
Immediately this happened, I knew I would share it online someday....main reason is to sensitize the general public. The only things I changed are the location (actual event wasn't in Ogun State) and the year/dates. I did this to ensure the identity of my patient is protected.
➜ Though I didn't ask him why he went on to infect his girlfriend...now wife, he kept on saying that he didn't know what entered into his head. It was like an unseen force enveloped him or something.
My hypothesis - he did it to secure her, to ensure she married him...he was probably scared she won't accept a marriage proposal if he disclosed his status. I may be wrong.

People in Nigeria have been made terrified of AIDS since the 1980s/1990s when we saw pictures of humans existing as skeletons not by choice but because of a virus invisible to the naked eye that spread through sexual intercourse and blood, of course. The fact that he met his now wife— a 19-year-old at the time— around 2005 tells me this man must have been at least in his 20s to mid-20s around the time in question, meaning he had knowledge of AIDS and HIV prevention before all this happened to him.

2. Not secure, but trap her in the same nightmare that he had now come to know as his life, so she would have nowhere else to go but to spend her life taking care of him in his illness. The same way a lot of men out there baby trap women with baby after baby to keep them from pursuing their dreams and goals.... this man literally infected that young girl to trap her and give her no other option but himself.

Some gomba will come out claiming it was love... love does not hurt or wish hurt on the one who is loved. This man literally wished that girl hurt and delivered the blow against her himself.

---

You mentioned that stigma was the reason why he went off his medication. What stigma would that be?

Lexzeey:
➜I just got up and went to a shop outside our family house, as I was buying something this weyrey came, I got what I wanted and turned to leave and that was when I felt it, waaam at my back, this guy slapped me on my back, then he asked me directly, didn't you see me? Don't you know I'm your uncle?
➜ I lost it, and like a reflex I slapped him back hard it was a resounding slap, he staggered backwards, and my cousins held me, before I know it has spread that I just slapped uncle whatever his name is, what's painful is everyone blamed me, for being disrespectful and suddenly it didn't matter what he did, I'm somehow supposed to attone for it.
this man didn't know how I survived till adulthood, not even a penny of his went into my upbringing, I don't know why he felt I owe him respect and allegiance, even if I did, why does he have to go about it that way.

1.Oh! I was literally prepared to tell you that you were wrong until I read this here. He hit you? The dude literally had it coming!... You should have started with that. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

2. Na Africa you dey so, where entitlement is literally the culture. Try to avoid the wrong crowd as much as you can.

Good2go1:
We saw heap of sharp sand inside a kitchen cabinet floor on the second floor of two story building, with a hole visible through the floor tiles. Please what do you can cause this?

Look at the area above the accumulation to see if it could be coming from there.🥱🥱🥱

TONYE001:
4. Stigmatization is senseless, wicked, and childish. Stigmatization is likely the reason why this patient didn't go to the source to access his antiretroviral medications. If he had been duly enrolled, he would have gone through adherence counseling and he would have been followed up. This may have prevented a lot of things.

What source? He was already married to the woman he infected, so what stigma would he have been worried about again?🥱🥱

OP, talk true, is this story fake? A whole human being, knowing how devastated he was when he discovered he was HIV positive, decided the best he could do was end the life of a 19-year-old girl by having unprotected sex with her, too?

So, marrying someone whose life he literally ended by his own hands— HIV is literally a life sentence—, makes him what? A better person than the monster he truly is?

If accessing drugs was hard for him, what about for the girl he now calls his wife? See wetin people dey do their fellow humans?

BlocksNG:
just 80 and you are weeping. Your bandits are killing Nigerians massively, everyday but can't see you bleat about it

Omgosh!!! I was busy trying to allow myself to be carried away by the words there before I was hit by this post of yours. 😩😩😩😩😩

Buratashi:
✓ Your se second point is not valid, cos if I had wanted her to have a baby soonest is for Me to bribe her superiors in her office but wanted due process..
✓ my fear hence this tread to know if it's natural or something wrong with me hence I can go n seek medical help so that once the proper time reaches I won't be firing blank. That's my point, I never intended ending her career

Bribe her superiors..something that will require you pay money, abi? 🥱🥱🥱

2. Wanted due process my arse. You going raw on a woman whom you said isn't infertile and also made clear could have her career ruined if she were to get pregnant at this time is this due process, right? .🤨🤨

I didn't create this thread. You did! And you did so to let us know well of your intents against your wife. So? 🥱🥱🥱

Buratashi:
✓ She will definitely give birth one day .
✓ So what's the big deal, every problem has a solution

I hope she learns to love herself before that day so she knows to put herself first, realizing that she and that baby(whenever she decides to have one) will ultimately not be happy if she loses her career and/or progress in the process. 🥱🥱🥱

2. You calling yourself her backbone while blatantly trying each time to get her pregnant to destroy her career is what is a big deal.