₦airaland Forum

Nathy777:
One way to flee from sexual temptation is to pray immediately either in tongues or ask for mercy. Apostle Arome osai told us of many times a particular lady in his office used to come to his office with a powerful perfume but he will pray in tongues so loud and a lady will depart from him. We need the wisdom of others to survive.

Liar! If your prayers worked as you lot claim, how come the rate of sexual crimes remain equally high among you Churchian along with other religious groups? 🥱🥱🥱

A general lack of sexual discipline remains the primary reason why this sexual temptation of a thing is real among your religious folks. 🥱🥱

SatanKeepOff:
✓ Please I need advice.
I met my fiancée early 2025. We started dating and, with time, I felt she was someone I could marry. I opened up to her and also informed her mum about my intention to marry her daughter. Later, I went with my family to see her family. We all had a good meeting. I clearly stated that our visit was only for knocking on the door, not introduction, and that I would return later for proper introduction, collection of marriage list, bride price, and then fix a wedding date.
At the time we met, she was in her final year in a private university. I took over 100% of her school fees and all related academic expenses, which is quite expensive. Because of this responsibility, I had to limit other expenses.
For example:
• I didn’t buy her a birthday gift
• I didn’t give her a Christmas gift
This was because she had already informed me of a large amount needed to sort her academic papers, which I agreed to pay.

However, despite this, she now calls me stingy. She says my money is supposed to be our money. She also complains that I don’t take care of her parents and her younger sister.

This is where my concern is. I know how much I am spending on her education, and that has been my main focus. Yet, she still feels it’s not enough and keeps demanding more.
Now I’m having cold feet. I feel she is becoming too entitled to my finances, and honestly, I’m already getting tired of the relationship.
Please, I need sincere advice. Am I wrong? Is this a red flag? What should I do?

You are already checking out of the relationship--- assuming you have not checked out already. What do you expect will happen if you continue on with her? 🥱🥱🥱

GravityDefier:
✓ (1) She transfers her anger and hits the pet at any slightest provocation
(2) For instance, if She carelessly leaves something on the floor with the pet and goes out to buy something and the pet eats it. She can lock her in a secluded space for up to 12 hours without food.
(3) She can restrict the pet of food for up to 3 days (as a result of point 2 above) except an external intervention is involved.
Many of these things makes the pet to always run outside on sighting her or hearing her voice

Why is the owner of the pet going out there to date someone who is clearly not an animal lover as he supposedly wants us to believe he is? He is the one responsible for putting that pet in harms way by his refusal to fully vet his potential mates, ensuring he picks only from the pool of animal lovers and not from without. 😩😩

The "he" described in the OP is the major red flag here particularly where it concerns the peace of that animal. Dating someone who clearly does not regard animals is like dating a woman who hates children when you are yourself a father with children. She is not the problem...the man is. 🥱🥱🥱🥱

Aditueledumare2:
WATCH:Pastor Chris Okafor Lay Prostrate Before His Congregation, Seeking Forgiveness: “Mistakes Have Been Made

Religion and it's notion of forgiveness needs to be studied. You literally have to be mentally retarded to consider forgive such nonsense without ensuring justice is served even then.🥱🥱🥱

Oyinbogyal:
✓ The difference is
1. She does not want him if she dates other people that’s not his business because she is seperated from him and does not want him back.
2. He is the one who wants her back, he doesn’t need to disclose who he dated because they are temporary but he absolutely MUST disclose a child, it is not optional because a child permanent and life changing even financially changing.
3. How can you even compare the two Did I not just say that she does not want him??

The only reason that child's existence would have anyways to impact your mother in any way is if she were not divorced from your father.

In parts of Nigeria, for instance, any child born to within a marriage is considered to be of the marriage. And legally, your mother remains married to your father. If she had been married in Nigeria --- notice I didn't mention an entire continent or even country here as laws differ from place to place --- to him, she would have had a harder time denying that child as being part of the marriage. And all of that stuff your dad said about you being more special than the child would have been proven the utter nonsense that it is since his first son gets access to his inheritance first. 🥱🥱🥱

This is why the law in the part of Europe that you live in is important.

Oyinbogyal:
✓ My mother never took him back. This is about what I believe he was planning to do if she ever did forgive him in the future.
For years, my father was asking my mother to reconcile and resume the marriage while hiding the fact that he had another child. What I believe he was planning is this: If, at some point, my mother had forgiven him and allowed him to move back into the home as her husband, he would have secured his place in the house first.
In Europe, once a married spouse moves back into the home, it is very difficult to remove them again unless there is clear legal proof of abuse or another serious incident.
After moving back in, he could then reveal that he had a child all along.
At that point:
• my mother would obviously be angry
• she would likely say she no longer wanted to be with him
✓ But because he would not be physically abusing her, there would be no immediate legal grounds to remove him from the home without a long court process.
So even if she emotionally rejected him, she would be legally and practically stuck dealing with him inside the marriage and the home.
That is why I believe the truth was hidden:
• not because of sex
• not because of culture
• but because revealing it earlier would have prevented reconciliation entirely
This is about withholding critical information to influence consent and control outcomes, not about polygamy.

1. If you suspected this, why didn't your mother seek to protect herself by pursuing the divorce to completion during all those 10 years of the separation?

2. Well, he has revealed it now. So, do you think this plan cannot work even then? 🥱🥱🥱

Does religion have something to do with why your mother is dragging her feet on the divorce or something? 🥱🥱🥱

Oyinbogyal:
✓ Why are you going out of your way to blame my mother?
Let’s be clear — she is not the one who beat up her spouse during the marriage. She is not the one who kept a secret child hidden for 10 years while constantly trying to reconcile. She is not the one refusing to sign divorce papers or contribute financially toward the process. So why is all your focus on her?
✓ You’re conveniently ignoring the root of the issue — his deceit, manipulation, violence, and refusal to let go. If she had filed for divorce sooner, you would still find a way to fault her. Now that she waited, you’re still faulting her. It’s clear you are looking for a reason to attack her regardless of what she does, simply because she’s a woman.
✓ And yes, laws may differ across Europe, but common sense doesn’t. A man who refuses to divorce his wife, hides a child, and pressures her to reconcile without disclosing major truths is manipulative — not a victim.
✓ Redirect your energy toward holding men accountable for once, instead of finding a woman to blame every time a Nigerian man behaves disgracefully.

---

1. Rather than blame her, I am trying to understand why she is still legally bound with an abusive man whom you keep insisting she does not want back or have anything to do with. 🥱🥱

2. Well, he may be the root of the issue, but given that your mother remains married to him, he is still very much in the picture and still able to legally roll back in her life if something were to happen to her. So, I am curious as to why the divorce has not been granted her even after so long. 🥱🥱

3. Well, like I said, you described him as an arsehole. That much is clear. But time and time again, we have seen victims cling tight to their abusers, making it hard to empathize with them. So, like I said, I am really curious as to why the divorce has yet to go through after so long. What is this place in Europe that refuses to grant divorce even after one party has requested it for so long?

4. I am not blaming the woman. Only wondering why she is not going all out to protect herself and her assets in this case. 🥱🥱

ogashman:
...What I hate about marriage is that it takes away some of your freedoms.

That is what responsibilities and burdens general so as far a life is concerned...the more responsibilities/burdens you take out in life, the more of your freedoms you lose as an individual. That is were discipline should equally follow. 🥱🥱🥱

Oyinbogyal:
Hello hi, before you assume. My dad is controlling and he is the one refusing to sign any divorce papers or help her pay for divorce. My mom does not want to be with any Nigerian man ever again and she will not take him back… Hope that helps lol

He refused to sign for 8 years and she did nothing. Doesn't this mean that in the case something were to happen to her, your father could still swoop in to collect on her and everything else? 🥱🥱🥱

Where in Europe is this Europe you keep mentioning as I am quite certain that marriage and divorce laws differ from place to place?🥱🥱

How old is your youngest sister? 🥱🥱🥱

Why doesn't your mother want to divorce the man? 🥱🥱🥱

What do you think was the reason for why your father decided to dump this news on your all at this point in time? 🥱🥱

Given that your mother chose to be separated for so long from him without straight up divorcing him, what makes you think your mother will not still take your father back even with all that she now knows? ? 🥱🥱🥱

Oyinbogyal:
✓ This entire situation has destroyed my respect for him. I don’t feel anger as much as disgust and shame. I’m embarrassed to even explain this to my European friends. I feel like I’ve lost faith not just in him, but in my ability to trust what I thought were shared values.
I’m now engaged to marry a loving European man, and if I’m honest, this experience has made me afraid. Afraid of repeating cycles if I marry a Nigerian man. Afraid of normalising things I don’t believe in. I don’t reject my Nigerian heritage — I love the food, the music, the culture — but when it comes to marriage, honesty, and responsibility, I feel completely disconnected from what I’ve seen modeled.
Right now, I don’t even want to be around my father. I feel like something fundamental has collapsed, and I don’t know how to rebuild respect where trust no longer exists.
I’m sharing this here because I genuinely don’t know how to process it alone, and I want perspectives — especially from people who understand Nigerian family dynamics — without judgement.

They say if a person shows you and/or tells you who he is,you will be the fool if you reject the knowledge revealed. 🥱🥱🥱

You now know your father is just another one of the many arsehole walking the planet. What do you do about that other than to accept the fact along with every other fact out there, so you can make the decision to be better or be just another copy.

insidelife22:
I do it to my satisfaction and ask God for forgiveness later.

Because this una gods na pushover e be at the end of the day. Right? 👍👍👍

severee:
✓ Either una be gay or una be okogbo

For people who claim to have gods who make everything work for una, the fear of that which you don't understand seems to rule over your lives the most.

bmd1010:
✓ Lady Shares Her Worst Knacking Experience With Her Boyfriend while at a hotel they kept doing rounds of sex until they got to the fourth round an this what she said happened
A lady has taken to social media to recount what she described as her most exhausting and uncomfortable experience with her boyfriend.
According to her, what started as a romantic hotel stay quickly turned overwhelming after her boyfriend insisted on going multiple rounds without considering her limits.
She revealed that by the fourth round, things took an unexpected turn that left her regretting the entire encounter.

She never hear say, "Her body, her choice!"? 😩😩😩

Also, why is he still "Her boyfriend"? Dem leave this one behind when others dey go schoo,l abi wetin? 😩😩😩

Bullfallo:
I have had terrible experiences spiritually from giving out used clothes. Either from people begging me for it or from stolen or missing clothes, or it was me that gave them out willingly.
How can one dispose of them if you live in a place where you can’t burn them?
I once saw a mentally challenged-looking man with a lot of female underwear. He scavenged them from a dump site. By moving from one dump site to another.

This 2026, be sure to dispose of this useless mentality before it completely destroys your life. 🥱🥱🥱

ruffhandu:
✓ Are you serious? You are proud to be called 'darkness' while others answer 'light'?

Why is darkness not a word like any other word including light?? :🥱🥱🥱

They are both nouns(adjectives too, depending on use)!and found in the dictionary as part of the language. So why are you afraid of some word but not others? 🥱🥱🥱

Negroid001:
Make una dey whine una self.
Religious people are hypocrites with all they do in closed doors.
How pastor go dey sleep with married woman.

You forgot to mention some of them are pdfFiles , some others like prostitutes, while some others homophobic gay men. There are no folks who struggle more with so+called sins like the class referred to as gods of men --- popes, imams, pastors, alfas, priests, prophets, apostles, GBs, sheikhs, bishops, etc.

Sormeh:
✓ Lols. Are you a man? If yes, are you married and for how long?

What has the details of particulars to do with the vomit that is OP's submission? 🥱🥱🥱

GravityDefier:
✓ Hello ladies and gentlemen,
She maltreats his pet.Will this attitude translate to her maltreating any young member of his family if they choose to come stay for a day or two? Could her attitude towards a pet be a red flag on how She will deal with her subjects and subordinates?

Who is she and why does the owner of the pet have her around his pet? 🥱🥱🥱

Nexttpage:
Na until you enter enough marriage n divorce your eyes go take clear?

This makes no sense! 🥱🥱

V3li:
✓ I loose interest when you repeatedly act like a child, you are corrected and it brings issues, you are reckless in spreading without having plans I begin to wonder if you can take care of children and the drift away slowly for my sanity and peace of mind.
✓ No be me frustration go push to kill person pikin. I am not and I will never be a murderer

How old was she when you married her? 🥱🥱🥱

2. Well, if it had been the woman making the decision to leave, all common sense exists because, how dare a woman chose her sanity and peace of mind over chaos and frustration that could drive her to potentially murder person. 😩😩😩

dollytino4real:
i think i over put much of my resources n energy n time into dis marriage dat was wat brought my vibes down wen i did not get half of my input back

And you are still doing just that very same as we speak. 🥱🥱🥱

dollytino4real:
i really like to work but where work dey?? I dey sell small small tin but rise n rise

Well, that don't change any of the existing facts of your situation. 🥱🥱🥱

Caaz:
✓ Why are you not working? And how you do get most of your essentials as a woman?
This is one question non of the commenters have asked you!
Please be kind enough to tell me the reasons why you re not working?

That she is not able to meet most of her in essentials as a married woman has nothing to do with her not working but her being financially abused in the marriage. Also, that you work does not mean you are not being financially abused in your marriage nor does it provide an excuse for it. It is high time married African women begin truly considering the real worth of their individual lives in there so called mariages. 😩😩

cr7lomo:
✓ She abandoned her matrimonial home ...its her karma....let her enjoy it...if na man leave e wife for female pastor, the female pastor come later dump am marry another man....every woman will celebrate and male fun of him... marriage no b by force

She divorced her abusive husband. What has that to do with abandoning a matrimonial home? Is abuse/violence home to you? Nonsense!! 😩😩😩

sureway1:
✓ The way I see people blaming this lady without saying anything about the person that should be a custodian of.. is alarming.
I see them insulting her and defending a supposed man of God, go to the church tomorrow, you will see crowd, like don't these people have a copy of the...?

Gods of men in Nigeria are literal gods worshipped by folks who think they cannot do any wrong! 😩😩

It has never been about the content of any book but about the worship of humans.😩😩

NaijaSumi:
She's making the Man more popular and disgracing herself the more

Shame no dey catch you say calling out a miscreant who has been praying on gullible folks for so long is tantamount to making him popular. 😩😩

Crownofgold:
I hope the company she refers to is not the chruch

Your churches are companies and when a company makes a promise it does not keep, it should be held accountable. 🥱🥱🥱

pretydiva:
She keeps disgracing my gender!

Disgracing you by standing up on the law even where her heart is involved? 🥱🥱🥱

tophumble:
We have heard you. Let peace reign

People reign where justice is ignored? Nigerians deserve the Nigeria they have. 🥱🥱

Jerryblaq:
✓ This woman should just move on and accept the fact that she has been rejected by pastor Chris.
All this nagging and disturbance will obviously not bring him back.
Fun Fact-There are many men out there that are ready to settle down with Doris ogala presently.

Nonsense! 🥱🥱🥱

Kalatium:
✓ Marriage Is Not a Democracy, It’s a Leadership Structure
In most traditional and biblical marriage frameworks:
The man is the head
The man carries ultimate responsibility
The man provides direction and protection
The woman is a partner, not a competitor
Partnership does not mean sameness.
It means complementarity.
A ship cannot have two captains giving conflicting commands.
Someone must lead. Someone must support.
Both roles are important but they are not identical.

. in the master-slave relationship you describe above there is exists no partnership given that the woman is more a slave/employee/student under her Master/Leader/Employer/Teacher/Head. Those are not partnerships but hierarchical relationships that require one individual ruling as an authority over the other. 🥱🥱🥱

Your traditional/religious configurations of marriage, have throughout history rightly never been regarded as partnerships...they have never met the requirement for just that. This recent attempts by those from some from those --- religious and traditional --- backgrounds to insist that it is that which it cannot be is born of subscription to dubious ideologies which seek to turn common sense on its head -- nonsensical ideology-driven notions. 🥱🥱🥱

So, what is with you not practicing what your preach? 🥱🥱🥱