₦airaland Forum

Arlee:
➜regardless of "her side of the story", abandon a 3 month old? Wow,some ladies get mind sha oo

Men abandon their babies while in the woman, and so many women ar abandoned while still in the labor rooms, and not so much as a squeak from their fellow men. 🥱🥱🥱

BrutusOj:
➜Where do some guys marry from for goodness sake? Dont the wife have a family to report her to? Or he prefers the online inlaws to react with online solution?

You go report the wife to the family, and the family will force her back into living with a toxic man? In this 2026 wey we all dey enter so? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

The child is his, too. And he can be a nurturing father to it, too.

Famous606:
➜i pray not to see myself in such situation if not the number of days she left we be the number of years she we use her eye to see the child .

Shey dem dey always talk for here say the child will go looking for its father after the child grows up, when na babymama the father abandon the child with? Well, that child of yours will go looking for its mother when it grows up, too... so the woman doesn't need to worry. 🥱🥱🥱

FaAbData:
➜The child is his. The woman won't act that way if it isn't his- she would have left with the child. The woman doesn't just dislike the man alone, seems she dislike the child too

. Nonsense! Are you insinuating that when a baby's father abandons his child with the baby mama, he equally hates the child along with the baby mama?

wordychap:
You didn't marry a human being

When it is the man that abandons the baby and its mother, is the man also not a human being in those cases? 🥱🥱

Afriifa:
Women are innately selfish bro. There is no justification for this.

This is from the same person who earlier suggested that the man selfishly abandon the baby with his mother so he, the man, can go on to selfishly live his own life? What is wrong with you people? 🥱🥱🥱

Saint99:
➜I think it is premeditated. She had planned doing it and waited for the slightest disagreement as an excuse to execute the plan. She didn't want the burden of nursing a baby to stand on her way. This type can even kill the baby just to be free.

When it's the man abandoning his baby with the baby mama, is he also a type that could even kill the baby just to be free? Nonsense! 🥱🥱🥱

emmaodet:
➜Believe me, you don't need to experience misunderstanding with modern ladies for them to divorce you. Even if you are good, caring and loving, some of them will still divorce you anyway. Have seen 2 women abandon their children with the husbands just to japa. Not because of Love to another man nor were they suffering in the marriage before leaving. It is the drawback of capitalizing.
➜ So many women are highly ambitious and believe they have what it takes to make huuge money and marriage is tying them down to achieve their dreams.
➜ No. 1 dropped 2 boys of 5 and 9 just to follow her friend to I think Qatar or Oman. Who in their right senses will go to such place? What kind of dream was sold to her?
➜ And the man is not doing bad according to Nigeria standard but to her, it is just not enough - a 3 bedroom flat decently furnished and a Toyota Camry 2008.
➜ For a lady I doubt is a graduate or if she is, a mere house wife with no tradable skill, I want to guess she went there to become a prostitute.

. Men have mostly dangled a better life to women since the time of our ancestors, and many of these women have gone on to regret their decisions to marry and have babies in the name of a better married life. Na love dem dey call that? Na love make our fathers and ancestors use women until their nothing left of them but the miserable rest of their days? 🥱🥱🥱

2. Most of these women grew up watching their grandfathers and fathers use and abuse their grandmothers and grandmothers, with the women literally having no way or place to go to save even their own children from all of the violence and toxicity that has been life in marriage up until now for most women. 🥱🥱🥱

3. People, including women with a reason to live a better life for themselves and for their children's sake, are going there every day. 🥱🥱🥱

4. Good! He can raise his children better than a woman can.... that is what we have been told for the longest. So, let him raise them while their mother goes off to make money and sends him child support regularly for their sake. 🥱🥱🥱

5. Women are going back to school even past their 60s and doing really well for themselves, even at that.

The most educated demographic in America by overall attainment are Asian Americans, with a higher percentage holding Bachelor's degrees or higher; however, Black women are often cited as the most educated due to significant recent gains and leading in degree earning rates, surpassing other groups in the number of degrees awarded relative to historical barriers, notes a report by the Postsecondary National Policy Institute, a study on Asian students, the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES) via ThoughtCo, and Pew Research Center, the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES) via an Instagram post and an Instagram post, the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES) via an Instagram post.

Merry Xmas to everyone out there!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hzjf4s6oUw?si=o0Ro33Ml47vTyW6a

Mamaafrik1:
you too, take a look at what you've typed and tell me if there is any sense in what you wrote. you need to grow up.

We are told that fathers raise better children than mothers. So, yes! There is every sense in suggesting that the baby's father will raise that child even better than the baby's mother can. 🥱🥱🥱

tollyboy5:
➜Ah! Pikin wey need to suck breast? ➜Can a man breast feed?

Pikin dey drink can milk and grow up strong too. Yes, babies whose mothers die also survive without issues when raised by nurturing fathers.

sexy74:
➜Sympathiser, which price will she set that she cannot herself afford. See no bill person watin your family no fit afford. If the person says no, tell your people if e easy, dem go give you . Let her bill her fellow woman if your anology is that he should Mary his fellow man

. As expected, more nonsense talk! Abeg, make I go celebrate my Xmas in gladness! 🥱🥱🥱

VeraAg:
➜Please ask questions about the subject or skip thread.

How can I ask questions of a close-minded submission? 🥱🥱🥱

VeraAg:
➜Abeg if you want to date and marry a well to do white man go ahead. 🥱 people that don’t associate with them and realize there is a reason why they don’t date out as much will come and start. They don’t realize that the way they defend white men, these men…. Lemme not even start. It’s because of the Prince Charming you see in the television. These men don’t like black women. White Prince Charming is for white and Asian women.

Your statements reveal how very small-minded you really are. What men? Every week here, biracial couples are tying the knot, yet you are quick to wrap up that white men do not like black women, all because you have refused to work on yourself.

While exact real-time numbers vary, recent data shows a significant rise in U.S. interracial couples, with around 11-15% of all married couples being interracial/interethnic by the early 2020s, and a much higher rate for newlyweds (around 17-20%). The most common pairings involve a Hispanic and White partner, followed by White and Asian, and White and Black couples, with rates increasing across all demographics since the legalization of interracial marriage in 1967.

Afriifa:
➜ See this type of selfish women, I don't only pray against them for myself but also my friends. Should a man neglect his child because he's having fight with his wife? Why should a woman neglect her baby over fights with her husband? a breastfeeding baby and you trying to find reasons? GOD forbid

Men do that every day, and society never calls them out for it. So, why are you all gathering like monitoring spirits against the woman doing what men get away with every day in that same Nigeria? 🥱🥱

➜A woman can equally exit a toxic relationship the same way men can, leaving the child behind. A breastfeeding baby can eat canned milk and still grow up healthy. Top that off with being raised by the father and not the mother, the baby is bound to grow into a better human being than if raised by the mother... no be so una dey talk all the time?

Hhh4444:
➜you are a baaaad person for supporting what she did. Does the man have breast to give to this baby? I pity the man that will marry you.

Men abandon their children literally every day in that country. Why is she bad when she does what a man does? The baby will be fine with powdered milk and the father's love. A man can equally nurture his own child and, according to Nigerians, raise better children.

AfonjaPriest:
➜The guy should stop ranting. Does he not have a relative or someone he could trust to leave the baby with? He should check carefully, because where there's a will, there will definitely be a way.

So, dumping the child with a relative is how you all raise these better children that men are said to raise? Why have children you are unwilling to raise by yourselves?

VladimirTheGrea:
➜I agree with you but I think it's cruel to walk out of her little self which suggests she is is selfish and in pursuant of greed

Walking out of a toxic relationship is not cruel, selfish or greedy, but trying to keep the peace the best one can. At least that is what men have been doing for the longest— walking away from their baby mamas and leaving their babies behind, with the excuse that they were toxic women.

The woman simply did what many men have been allowed to do for the longest. Also, we have heard that men raise better children. So that baby is literally in the best hands. 🥱🥱

Hopefully, she will send the father child support money, so she does not end up a deadbeat mother. 🥱🥱🥱

everythingtall3:
➜I'm a good guy, i'm tall, working class and good fearing. I need a relationship where we can chat , talk and have intimacy regularly. We would first go on a date, any restaurant of your choice. Then We will have intimacy, I don't want one off, we could do this forever...

How did you come to decide that you are a good guy? 🥱🥱🥱

Merry Xmas to everyone out there!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hzjf4s6oUw?si=o0Ro33Ml47vTyW6a

Pelxmiye:
➜So a friend invited me and my babe to a bar just to chill this Christmas eve, on further research about the bar, it's a VIP bar with strip club, pole dancers and all the wild wild stuff you find in high end VIP clubs So my babe said we should go, that's it just one night, me talk say i no dey go ooo If i go high for there come to touch stripper bobbie ,how she go feel ..LOL I no want wahala Compliments of the season y'all!

A lack of discipline will always rear its ugly head, whether at the strip club or somewhere else. Better now than later. If I were you, I would go and accept whatever comes my way as that which I deserve.

hilaryCU:
➜It is women that thinks the way you do that men will consider as useless. Which woman abadon a breastfeeding child for whatever reason.
➜ This is a child that will most likely favour her more than the father when they grow up.
➜Even, if she leaves eventually, the child will be fine and your ilks will likely become a frustrated old lady when the time comes.

The same way a man can abandon a child with the mother of the child is the same way a woman can also abandon the child with the father of the child. If a baby's father is not useless for abandoning his baby with the mother, then the baby's mother is equally not useless for leaving the child behind with its father when she leaves. Only a deadbeat mother or father is useless.

2. It's OK! I mean, we have frequently heard that children are better off raised by their fathers and not their mothers. So long as the father does not turn around and abandon the child with his own mother or sister, the child will grow up well in the care of its father.

3. Women should definitely normalize leaving their babies with the father when they realize the relationship is too toxic to remain in, while they go off and become these frustrated old ladies you say they will. That is a win for the child and the father, right? 😐😐😐

cupcup:
➜I already tagged you.. A. O go area, Bit after reading your responds now .. I am a bit relaxed ..
I agree no two marriage are the same , likewise no two children will have same traits.. just like thier temperaments..
Ur seconds reply, if marriage is poverty alleviation as you have said, once the money is not there … meaning it will crash.
➜ When I talked about retirement plan, as a man once it’s secured for me, then it’s secured for my partner… this is me. Before now… when she was in school I already started making money nd I channel a lot to support her while in school for rent for feeding etc… I don’t want to go into that. Does it mean retirement plan should be a raise of who gets it first NO NO NO, that’s where love comes in.. nd to be on a common ground.
➜ I like the fact that u mentioned in ur 3rd) caption … parents factor as a primary plan.. do you know that at the 2 months old she wanted to push my child to day care which I disagree nd stood on 6 months exclusive.. base on my research… nd now that child brain is top nutch! ➜ I have over done my part as a father.. nd I can’t stand that her going out of my sight for a week because if the mother is doing g her village thing. My daugter will come to me nd make me laugh, … where is the motherly care if I didn’t dragg her nd stood on my ground… its otilo,
➜ FYI I didn’t stay or grow up with my parent…. I did under a foster care.. Hence my reason for have some experience of standing & staying wit one’s fruit.
➜ Lagos traffic nd Chicago traffic u mentioned. I bet you.. you don’t the distance I mentioned earlier..If she’s using her legs to walk from work to the house it will take her 40mins , if she’s using transportation it should be only 10 mins or 20 mins max. I was stating the fact that there re intensional actions in play. Rush hr u mentioned… it’s an off traffic direction…
➜ Lastly, due to my upbringing …. It was crazy… but I had to set standard for my home… I appreciate your responds NOW.. it’s about outing oneself self or child or family in the shoes…
All through the conversations we didn’t throw punches🤣

1. Well, yeah! If a man or woman enters into a relationship with the intention of gaining financial improvement(among other things), if poverty hits, that individual is likely to exit the relationship. And no, they commit no crime by that. Divorce has always been a legal out of marriage from time immemorial; even our ancestors are notoriously known for abandoning women on a whim. Fortunately, we now live in the 21st century, where both men and women are freely able to get a divorce —not just the man.

2. Over all of history, that statement —as a man once it’s secured for me, then it’s secured for my partner — has never always been the case. We know of men who planned and changed their minds last minute. The vast majority of the time, it is the women who suffer.🥱🥱

Retirement for individuals, even in a marriage, is not a race but something both individuals need to individually plan and ensure they are on top of because, again, history has shown us that when women don't plan for their retirement, they are likely to end up suffering for it. So, she is right to plan her individual retirement even as you plan yours.

3. I myself was raised from that early by my grandmother, who was available at the time to help out, and I spent much of my first years living with her while my mother could work and build herself. There is nothing wrong with parents pushing children to childcare, especially if they are not able to be there for their kids. A lot of women and men have to work, and companies only give so much time for maternity leave. Children who are put in childcare can develop just as well as other kids can, so long as the childcare provides the kids with the environment to thrive and grow.

4. There is no such thing as doing your part as a father in terms of nurturing your own child. Also, I know this might shock you, but women are not and have never been biologically nurturers. No, society attempts to train women into becoming nurturers, but that does not always work out. So, just because a woman has a functioning womb and can have a baby DOES NOT mean she is by nature nurturing and caring. So, don't think there is some sort of competition compared to this. If your wife is an Ok mother to her child, so long as your daughter has a great connection with you, that should suffice. Do not go trying to force what is not there.

5. I see! That is definitely understandable. But don't let that cause you to try to force her into bonding when she may be doing the best she can at this point. I was not too connected with my own mother as a child; we didn't seem to meld at all much. But now that I am older, we are very close and have been able to talk through a lot of the lack of connection that existed during my developing years.

6. Tell her your concerns and allow her to tell you for herself how her trip back goes. 🥱🥱🥱

I literally have to go to the store right now to get some last-minute groceries. The store is literally less than 2 miles from here. However, it could take me at least an hour to get there, run in, and pick up what I want to pick up because of traffic. The last thing I want when I get back is someone coming to tell me that my effort should have been planned differently. 🥱🥱

7. Everyone has standards for their home, including your wife. If your standards do not meld with hers, then there is a lot of communicating you both need to do. And presenting this as though her choices are bad and your choices are the good ones... will not help. 🥱🥱

"There are 1001 ways to solve a problem"

VeraAg:
➜A warning to black women in the diaspora that are interested in dating non-black men. (reddit) Not all white men are wealthy! And not all of them will take a black woman (regardless of how beautiful you are) seriously because of your black womb (lots of white people despire blackness). Black men have it different because they are males and as men they are choosers, regardless of how blackness is viewed in the diaspora.
This Nigerian woman Onyeka got scammed by a 6 foot plus white man with blonde hair and blue eyes because of many reasons. One of them was that (she wanted to get her white friends jealous). Honestly, this is a disgrace to us Nigerian women but I hope those that wish to date outside of their race understand how non-black men act. They are not angels, they can lie, they can be abusive and not all are wealthy.
PLEASE be warned. Has anyone watched the storytime on tiktok? What lessons do you have from it? (What do you think?)

So, because this one woman got herself scammed by a white man, your conclusion from that one is that white men don't take black women seriously? Are you for real?

This 2026, please, focus a lot of your downtime on acquiring critical reasoning skills. Yes, you do not have to wait to take a college course in logic before you can obtain those skills for yourself. There are many good books out there today to help you develop the necessary soft skills to better help you process the information you get from even Reddit and TikTok. Start working on this immediately. Also, work on your emotional and social intelligence while you are at it. 🥱🥱

VeraAg:
➜No I’m a young girl and I just but not that young

Please, spend this time working on your self-esteem and also on loving yourself— flaws and all — a lot more.

oglalasioux:
➜Ok. Well written. But you’ll understand more when you grow up. Marriage is a scam.

Marriage isn't a scam. There is at least a small percentage out there who are in marriages that both partners enjoy and benefit from. That proves that marriage itself isn't the scam. Rather, people who go into it thinking to scam the other partner— including those who cry fowl when scammed first, forgetting the fact that they intended to scam the other — make marriage seem like the problem.

Frankaka8:
➜I dont care what the guy did or not... but neglect on that innocent baby is quite unforgiveable. Lord have mercy on man.

Neglect? The child is with the father, and hopefully, the mother will definitely pay child support to the father to ensure that the child has contributions from its mother.

oglalasioux:
➜I’ll permit you to be emotional. I’ll continue to be realistic.

There is nothing unrealistic about your emotions. Your thinking that emotions are unrealistic is the major reason why some of you delude yourselves into thinking you are better than those who are not only as emotionally expressive as you are— yes, you are emotionally expressive even if you do all you want to dampen your emotions — but are honest about it. 🥱🥱

Human beings are made up of emotions and cannot control or turn off their emotions. We can respond differently to particular emotions, but we cannot turn off our emotions or plug them up. Emotions are energy sources. The way we channel that energy is what is in our control. And there is nothing unrealistic about emotions.

Jerchance:
➜Worse still, the other guy she took all these risks for – to cheat on her husband, won't settle for her once she's divorced.

Women, like men, don't even cheat to be selected by the other guy. Most women cheat because they simply want to cheat like men... just for the physical delight of it, as men claim. 🥱🥱🥱

oglalasioux:
➜Marriage is a scam. Get as many baby mamas as possible then when you turn 50, look for a 55 years old rich lady and spend your retirement with.

This 2026, your babymamas are probably going to leave those babies with you. You may think to dump those babies right after on your mothers or sisters, but even day will tell you to become single fathers that you tried to make those baby mamas into.

And those rich old ladies will definitely want to have nothing to do with you by the time you reach that age bracket.

FreeSpirited:
➜Perhaps you should wait for a more concrete evidence while you keep monitoring her. If a woman cheats once, she will do it again if she thinks you have forgotten or moved on

No need! If he wishes to divorce her, he could. Sadly, the woman may have reacted in that way because the man himself cheated on her. He is not telling us why his woman suddenly decided to inform her that she was heading over to her former schoolmate's home.