₦airaland Forum

AfonjaPriest:
➜The guy should stop ranting. Does he not have a relative or someone he could trust to leave the baby with? He should check carefully, because where there's a will, there will definitely be a way.

So, dumping the child with a relative is how you all raise these better children that men are said to raise? Why have children you are unwilling to raise by yourselves?

VladimirTheGrea:
➜I agree with you but I think it's cruel to walk out of her little self which suggests she is is selfish and in pursuant of greed

Walking out of a toxic relationship is not cruel, selfish or greedy, but trying to keep the peace the best one can. At least that is what men have been doing for the longest— walking away from their baby mamas and leaving their babies behind, with the excuse that they were toxic women.

The woman simply did what many men have been allowed to do for the longest. Also, we have heard that men raise better children. So that baby is literally in the best hands. 🥱🥱

Hopefully, she will send the father child support money, so she does not end up a deadbeat mother. 🥱🥱🥱

everythingtall3:
➜I'm a good guy, i'm tall, working class and good fearing. I need a relationship where we can chat , talk and have intimacy regularly. We would first go on a date, any restaurant of your choice. Then We will have intimacy, I don't want one off, we could do this forever...

How did you come to decide that you are a good guy? 🥱🥱🥱

Merry Xmas to everyone out there!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hzjf4s6oUw?si=o0Ro33Ml47vTyW6a

Pelxmiye:
➜So a friend invited me and my babe to a bar just to chill this Christmas eve, on further research about the bar, it's a VIP bar with strip club, pole dancers and all the wild wild stuff you find in high end VIP clubs So my babe said we should go, that's it just one night, me talk say i no dey go ooo If i go high for there come to touch stripper bobbie ,how she go feel ..LOL I no want wahala Compliments of the season y'all!

A lack of discipline will always rear its ugly head, whether at the strip club or somewhere else. Better now than later. If I were you, I would go and accept whatever comes my way as that which I deserve.

hilaryCU:
➜It is women that thinks the way you do that men will consider as useless. Which woman abadon a breastfeeding child for whatever reason.
➜ This is a child that will most likely favour her more than the father when they grow up.
➜Even, if she leaves eventually, the child will be fine and your ilks will likely become a frustrated old lady when the time comes.

The same way a man can abandon a child with the mother of the child is the same way a woman can also abandon the child with the father of the child. If a baby's father is not useless for abandoning his baby with the mother, then the baby's mother is equally not useless for leaving the child behind with its father when she leaves. Only a deadbeat mother or father is useless.

2. It's OK! I mean, we have frequently heard that children are better off raised by their fathers and not their mothers. So long as the father does not turn around and abandon the child with his own mother or sister, the child will grow up well in the care of its father.

3. Women should definitely normalize leaving their babies with the father when they realize the relationship is too toxic to remain in, while they go off and become these frustrated old ladies you say they will. That is a win for the child and the father, right? 😐😐😐

cupcup:
➜I already tagged you.. A. O go area, Bit after reading your responds now .. I am a bit relaxed ..
I agree no two marriage are the same , likewise no two children will have same traits.. just like thier temperaments..
Ur seconds reply, if marriage is poverty alleviation as you have said, once the money is not there … meaning it will crash.
➜ When I talked about retirement plan, as a man once it’s secured for me, then it’s secured for my partner… this is me. Before now… when she was in school I already started making money nd I channel a lot to support her while in school for rent for feeding etc… I don’t want to go into that. Does it mean retirement plan should be a raise of who gets it first NO NO NO, that’s where love comes in.. nd to be on a common ground.
➜ I like the fact that u mentioned in ur 3rd) caption … parents factor as a primary plan.. do you know that at the 2 months old she wanted to push my child to day care which I disagree nd stood on 6 months exclusive.. base on my research… nd now that child brain is top nutch! ➜ I have over done my part as a father.. nd I can’t stand that her going out of my sight for a week because if the mother is doing g her village thing. My daugter will come to me nd make me laugh, … where is the motherly care if I didn’t dragg her nd stood on my ground… its otilo,
➜ FYI I didn’t stay or grow up with my parent…. I did under a foster care.. Hence my reason for have some experience of standing & staying wit one’s fruit.
➜ Lagos traffic nd Chicago traffic u mentioned. I bet you.. you don’t the distance I mentioned earlier..If she’s using her legs to walk from work to the house it will take her 40mins , if she’s using transportation it should be only 10 mins or 20 mins max. I was stating the fact that there re intensional actions in play. Rush hr u mentioned… it’s an off traffic direction…
➜ Lastly, due to my upbringing …. It was crazy… but I had to set standard for my home… I appreciate your responds NOW.. it’s about outing oneself self or child or family in the shoes…
All through the conversations we didn’t throw punches🤣

1. Well, yeah! If a man or woman enters into a relationship with the intention of gaining financial improvement(among other things), if poverty hits, that individual is likely to exit the relationship. And no, they commit no crime by that. Divorce has always been a legal out of marriage from time immemorial; even our ancestors are notoriously known for abandoning women on a whim. Fortunately, we now live in the 21st century, where both men and women are freely able to get a divorce —not just the man.

2. Over all of history, that statement —as a man once it’s secured for me, then it’s secured for my partner — has never always been the case. We know of men who planned and changed their minds last minute. The vast majority of the time, it is the women who suffer.🥱🥱

Retirement for individuals, even in a marriage, is not a race but something both individuals need to individually plan and ensure they are on top of because, again, history has shown us that when women don't plan for their retirement, they are likely to end up suffering for it. So, she is right to plan her individual retirement even as you plan yours.

3. I myself was raised from that early by my grandmother, who was available at the time to help out, and I spent much of my first years living with her while my mother could work and build herself. There is nothing wrong with parents pushing children to childcare, especially if they are not able to be there for their kids. A lot of women and men have to work, and companies only give so much time for maternity leave. Children who are put in childcare can develop just as well as other kids can, so long as the childcare provides the kids with the environment to thrive and grow.

4. There is no such thing as doing your part as a father in terms of nurturing your own child. Also, I know this might shock you, but women are not and have never been biologically nurturers. No, society attempts to train women into becoming nurturers, but that does not always work out. So, just because a woman has a functioning womb and can have a baby DOES NOT mean she is by nature nurturing and caring. So, don't think there is some sort of competition compared to this. If your wife is an Ok mother to her child, so long as your daughter has a great connection with you, that should suffice. Do not go trying to force what is not there.

5. I see! That is definitely understandable. But don't let that cause you to try to force her into bonding when she may be doing the best she can at this point. I was not too connected with my own mother as a child; we didn't seem to meld at all much. But now that I am older, we are very close and have been able to talk through a lot of the lack of connection that existed during my developing years.

6. Tell her your concerns and allow her to tell you for herself how her trip back goes. 🥱🥱🥱

I literally have to go to the store right now to get some last-minute groceries. The store is literally less than 2 miles from here. However, it could take me at least an hour to get there, run in, and pick up what I want to pick up because of traffic. The last thing I want when I get back is someone coming to tell me that my effort should have been planned differently. 🥱🥱

7. Everyone has standards for their home, including your wife. If your standards do not meld with hers, then there is a lot of communicating you both need to do. And presenting this as though her choices are bad and your choices are the good ones... will not help. 🥱🥱

"There are 1001 ways to solve a problem"

VeraAg:
➜A warning to black women in the diaspora that are interested in dating non-black men. (reddit) Not all white men are wealthy! And not all of them will take a black woman (regardless of how beautiful you are) seriously because of your black womb (lots of white people despire blackness). Black men have it different because they are males and as men they are choosers, regardless of how blackness is viewed in the diaspora.
This Nigerian woman Onyeka got scammed by a 6 foot plus white man with blonde hair and blue eyes because of many reasons. One of them was that (she wanted to get her white friends jealous). Honestly, this is a disgrace to us Nigerian women but I hope those that wish to date outside of their race understand how non-black men act. They are not angels, they can lie, they can be abusive and not all are wealthy.
PLEASE be warned. Has anyone watched the storytime on tiktok? What lessons do you have from it? (What do you think?)

So, because this one woman got herself scammed by a white man, your conclusion from that one is that white men don't take black women seriously? Are you for real?

This 2026, please, focus a lot of your downtime on acquiring critical reasoning skills. Yes, you do not have to wait to take a college course in logic before you can obtain those skills for yourself. There are many good books out there today to help you develop the necessary soft skills to better help you process the information you get from even Reddit and TikTok. Start working on this immediately. Also, work on your emotional and social intelligence while you are at it. 🥱🥱

VeraAg:
➜No I’m a young girl and I just but not that young

Please, spend this time working on your self-esteem and also on loving yourself— flaws and all — a lot more.

oglalasioux:
➜Ok. Well written. But you’ll understand more when you grow up. Marriage is a scam.

Marriage isn't a scam. There is at least a small percentage out there who are in marriages that both partners enjoy and benefit from. That proves that marriage itself isn't the scam. Rather, people who go into it thinking to scam the other partner— including those who cry fowl when scammed first, forgetting the fact that they intended to scam the other — make marriage seem like the problem.

Frankaka8:
➜I dont care what the guy did or not... but neglect on that innocent baby is quite unforgiveable. Lord have mercy on man.

Neglect? The child is with the father, and hopefully, the mother will definitely pay child support to the father to ensure that the child has contributions from its mother.

oglalasioux:
➜I’ll permit you to be emotional. I’ll continue to be realistic.

There is nothing unrealistic about your emotions. Your thinking that emotions are unrealistic is the major reason why some of you delude yourselves into thinking you are better than those who are not only as emotionally expressive as you are— yes, you are emotionally expressive even if you do all you want to dampen your emotions — but are honest about it. 🥱🥱

Human beings are made up of emotions and cannot control or turn off their emotions. We can respond differently to particular emotions, but we cannot turn off our emotions or plug them up. Emotions are energy sources. The way we channel that energy is what is in our control. And there is nothing unrealistic about emotions.

Jerchance:
➜Worse still, the other guy she took all these risks for – to cheat on her husband, won't settle for her once she's divorced.

Women, like men, don't even cheat to be selected by the other guy. Most women cheat because they simply want to cheat like men... just for the physical delight of it, as men claim. 🥱🥱🥱

oglalasioux:
➜Marriage is a scam. Get as many baby mamas as possible then when you turn 50, look for a 55 years old rich lady and spend your retirement with.

This 2026, your babymamas are probably going to leave those babies with you. You may think to dump those babies right after on your mothers or sisters, but even day will tell you to become single fathers that you tried to make those baby mamas into.

And those rich old ladies will definitely want to have nothing to do with you by the time you reach that age bracket.

FreeSpirited:
➜Perhaps you should wait for a more concrete evidence while you keep monitoring her. If a woman cheats once, she will do it again if she thinks you have forgotten or moved on

No need! If he wishes to divorce her, he could. Sadly, the woman may have reacted in that way because the man himself cheated on her. He is not telling us why his woman suddenly decided to inform her that she was heading over to her former schoolmate's home.

DanseMacabre:
The next lamba will be that she slipped on a banana peel and landed on his diick.

You mean kind of like men have been slipping on banana peels and landing inside of women's vagina's for the longest?

funsho75:
➜If u no someone way dey that dey age Make the person try am... U go see say he go get. Men cheap

. Nigerian women are literally shamed by younger men in Nigeria. And it is this same group of men you believe would not mind dating the same older Nigerian women they shame? You literally would continue to deny reality, won't you? 🥱🥱🥱

matify83:
This is not a matter for public discuss. I comment my reservation

Yes ,it is because men typically do their cheating publicly.

Newton2024:
My Wife Admitts She Visited A Guy But There Was No Sex

Did you cheat on your wife? I am trying to understand why a woman would need to taunt her husband in such a way if it isn't maybe to get back at him for cheating on her. 🥱

P.S. This is 2025! There are so many ways for women to prevent pregnancy before and after sex, so she is not bringing home a baby does not mean she ain't able to get her kicks outside of marriage. 🥱🥱🥱

kushme:
➜My point!!!! I meant, i doubt she ever loved the guy from the start.
➜ Reason, i said she left without the child, so as to be piped by the man she ever loved. Just saying, if she truly loves you and mad at you, she would find it very hard to leave without the baby.
➜ Some of us don see true love oh. I had to stop replying a married ex. She has two kids, still dey look for me. Na we dey run and still dey run.
Most of them na confusionists dem be.
➜ Many women for Naija no love men.
➜ Na way out dem always dey find. Factors like, Poverty, age(the evening newspaper shaming), peer pressure,societal pressure, pepper dem gang etc dey make dem wan marry anybody wey ready. Rubbish.

Do men who abandon women with babies love those women?🥱🥱

2. Men abandon their women and children so they can go pipe other women. Why is it OK for men to do that, but suddenly a problem when a woman does the same? 🥱🥱

3. If we ask you to define love now, you will find that a lot of men don't even hold to the ideas of love that you put forward. So, why are you expecting women to live by your expectations but not other men? You can't make that make sense. 🥱🥱

4. Many Nigerian men don't love women or even their children at all. So, why the fuss? 🥱🥱

5. Well, the woman chose to escape the man instead of use him for her poverty alleviation or age. So what exactly is your issue now? 🥱🥱

Kcash200:
➜This is well detailed. thanks so much. i was a little worried about what would happen in the future if my wife and kids find out or how to explain it but thanks, i will take this your advise.

Stop feeling responsible for a choice that your mother made. You do not represent her and are not here to live according to her mistakes. Please go get therapy immediately and move on with your life.

Hhh4444:
➜There is no better way to say it than you just did. Even animals don't reason the way these women reason. They are just too dumb.

Animals' dads raised their own kids when they needed to. In the same way a woman can be a single mother, a man can also be a single father.

Richtaiwo:
➜What exactly has this one been typing all over this thread? The comments reek of a complete absence of basic maternal instinct, something even the lowest animals possess. It is pure, unfiltered nonsense.
➜ So the argument now is that because a nursing mother has issues with her husband, she should abandon her baby just to score cheap points? How depraved does one have to be to even think like that? What kind of woman contemplates walking away from her breastfeeding child?
➜ At this point, one can only conclude that such a woman is a shameless gold digger who suddenly realised she had been digging in the wrong soil and, out of spite and disappointment, lost all regard for life itself, even when that life is her own baby’s.
➜ If she hates the man, does she also despise her child? One is forced to question whether such a person has any humanity at all, because even animals would not display this level of cruelty, selfishness, and moral bankruptcy to her own baby

1. Your basic maternal instinct idea is confirmed as a myth. What you refer to as maternal instincts are instead behaviors that women are trained for, but like all training, they do not always materialize into someone who should be depended on. 🥱🥱

There are women out there who should be having kids, and there are also women out there whose children should be protected from, as in, they are terrible mothers, and there are children who are mentally and emotionally not right for raising children. That is the biological fact that exists. 🥱🥱

2. It is not an argument, but what happened. And yes, nursing mothers are not obligated to continue to raise their newborns. They, too, can walk away from their child in a similar manner to many baby daddies do when they abandon their baby mamas.

There is nothing depraved about leaving a child with its own father, same way that society does not consider it depraved for a man to abandon his children with their mother, leaving her, in most cases, to fend for them all alone.

A woman who places her peace of mind over living with a man she does not meld with is a woman who can do that. She may not be like her mothers and her grandmothers, who were pushovers and remained in toxic situations, claiming they did so for the children—the same children that ended up severely traumatized by the whole situation. And she may also realize that making her past mistakes run the rest of her life is one of the biggest mistakes she will ever make in life.

3. Nah! She is a smart woman that instead realizes that just like a man can, a woman can also walk away and choose herself.

4. She has a child with the man. Hating the man means that if she remains with the man, she will create a toxic situation for the child. That is definitely not a good thing for that child. And since the man can equally raise that child, she chose to leave it to him — hopefully she will be paying him child support without fail. 🥱🥱🥱

If indeed she chose to leave, she made an intelligent and rational decision. By the way, all humans are selfish. If the man had been the one to abandon that woman claiming she was toxic to him, you and others would have probably praised him for it. Do the same for the woman.

Mayflowa:
➜Not supporting the woman but don’t let us make a big deal out of it. If women are able to handle baby alone. The man should be able to do same. There are childcare homes. He needs to plan his new life.

Women are the reason why there are more single mothers out there than single fathers.

EponObi:
➜Mtchew. No one is arguing with you over this rubbish.

I am not arguing with you over rubbish, but stating a fact regarding the many similarities in how men and women think and operate in relationships. 🥱🥱🥱

muyico:
➜he married street gurl!!! They full Ibadan here, I was once a victim, that boy still dey with my Younger sister! I never c any maltreat, although it depend on d kindz of family he gat!

You dumped your child on your younger sister to raise for you? So, you would rather make your sister a single mother than you live as a single father raising your own child? That girl must have known well enough to have left the baby to you to raise. 🥱🥱🥱

EponObi:
➜What side of the story justifies leaving the baby behind?

There are actually many sides to this that could even be good for that baby. And recall, we are told often in Nigeria that children raised by their fathers are better than those raised by their mothers, so yeah, it is essential to hear her side before judging her. But all the same, the child is with her father, so it will be fine.

sacajawea:
➜It wasn't lies. I can sense and detect lies well. It wasn't.

I have dealt with enough Nigerians in my lifetime to know to doubt at least 80% of what they say about themselves until I see evidence.

Fenrir:
➜Ok, all of your posts will suddenly start getting AI results from now on

For that to happen, that means you intend to stalk me all over Nairaland, right? And that also means you would also need to make out extra time on top of that to post these AI results, right? Well, that just means you have way too much time on your own hands than I do. Goodluck! 🥱🥱🥱🥱

Fenrir:
➜I wont engage with a clear liar ill just keep antagonising him and posting evidence until an admission and you block me its only for 3 weeks and ill do a mass dumping post all evidence at once the day the blocking ends
Its you thats invested a decade in a lie not me, its you that will have to start from scratch once your reputation and credibility are gone not me

I am afraid I can't help you. 🥱🥱🥱

Fenrir:
➜And more AI use, ridiculous. Nigerian men are the only men on the planet where you can prove they are lying and they continue lying while calling everyone else a liar 😂 you understand why other countries want to keep you men here but make it easy for Nigerian women? Ive posted multiple AI detector results specifically for chatgpt and claude and all verify that you are using them heavily

. For the umpteenth time, focus on the topic! 🥱🥱🥱

Fenrir:
➜That statement proves exactly the fraud you are. You dont learn anything. You use logic grinders and you cant deny it. If I have to ill go through all your post from moment you started using AI and put every post through an AI detector and post, hey I retired at 33 so I can afford to waste a week doing it, can you? You know I already identified when you actually started using it.

You are free to believe whatever you want of me. I am more interested in dissecting the issue at hand and nothing else. 🥱🥱🥱