₦airaland Forum

FriendsAndFans:
➜You are creating a scenario that never happened in the op narrative

You are instead the one who attempted to do exactly that the moment you suggested that the woman in the story may have been at fault for expecting her married working husband should report back home each day.

AllBlack:
➜If you go back to the original story you would see that the incident took place in the home of the couple.
➜Now again, Anywhere at all, and especially If you come to my house and call my wife by name and I allow it, no wahala. But if I warn you about it, and you still go about it your way, any RIDICULOUS thing wey you see make you take?

Well, anyone who imposes such rules in their home should automatically be cut off from friends who knew them before. It screams controlling.

2. Outside of your home, you risk going to jail. So, be mindful of that, at least. Try that nonsense abroad where even children go call your grandpapa by his first name, make we see. Yeye dey smell!

Oyindidi:
It happens but there are good men out there too. I'm glad I did same with my younger sister . By God's grace we are doing well

. This ain't an it happens situation. The fact that the situation described is very rare is a reason why no one should preach that it is the expected outcome for the vast majority. Yes, it may have happened to you and your sister, as you claim, but that does not in any way remove from the fact that it did not happen to and for the other 198 other women out there who did the same things that you two did only to regret it at the end of the day, all of them probably in your same area that you grew up in or worked in.

FriendsAndFans:
➜It's not a competition. 2 wrongs don't make a right.

Well, I wanted to make sure that you are certain that it is indeed wrong for a married working man to stay out late when he has a household he is responsible for, since earlier you had stated that there were many reasons for why a man would stay out late and away from his responsibilities at his own home. 🥱🥱🥱

AllBlack:
➜SuperOnyi. 😊 It is fine if the wife allowed it but since the wife has pointed it out that such familiarity and formality should be adjusted, it is only sensible that the warning should be heeded. Simple.
If you come to my house and call my wife by name and I allow it, no wahala. But if I warn you about it, should you now come online and be ranting or simply respect my wish?

That is the only place where you could enforce such ridiculous rules. Outside of your house, people maintain their freedoms to regard you the way they prefer.

Naijalegal:
➜First, is the Stockholm syndrome. Psychologist have discovered through series of research that when women are abused and they stick with their abusers for too long they tend to become very sympathetic to their abusers. If someone abuses you and you refuse to leave them after a period of time you will develop sympathy for that abusive person, you will tend to overlook their abusive tendencies and start to manage the situation and keep adjusting and squeezing yourself to adapt to the abusive behaviour. The human mind is tricky and it accepts whatever is dished out to for a long period of time. For instance if you keep calling a child stupid or foolish after a while the child wills tart to exhibit stupid or foolish behaviour. Women who refuse to leave abusive marriages gradually develop Stockholm syndrome which makes them love the abusive partner and trauma bond with them deeply. They become a partner in crime in the abusive dynamics. It becomes part of their love language. They start to expect it and start to see it as part of marriage. You will hear them say something like no man is perfect or that it is better to cry in benz than to cry in keke. They will come up with so much excuses to defend the abuser. They may even start to believe that the abuser loves them so much that he loose control and starts to hurt them. They simply brainwash themselves to continue with the abusive relationship and cope with them. Stockholm syndrome is simply a coping mechanism borne out of mental manipulation. As a woman you must be able to identify Stockholm syndrome and deal with it before it destroys you. There is no defence or justification for abusive and even if there is it should not be coming from you as the victim. A victim must not defend evil or make it lesser. Once you stop seeing the boundaries between an abusive behaviour and a love behaviour then you are simply suffering from Stockholm syndrome.

@Brain54, I hope you read this part well, for next time you think that there are women who love being abused.

FriendsAndFans:
➜It's not a competition. 2 wrongs don't make a right.

It's not competition, but me pointing out the fact that the same excuses for married working men should equally apply as far as married working women, right?

If a married working woman knows to ensure she returns home in time to take care of her family because of her responsibilities to her household, why shouldn't a married working man also ensure he returns home in time to take care of his family, since he too has responsibilities to his household?

Chidollars1994:
I didn't ask anything because I'm afraid to do so

. Why did you choose fear as your response? What did you gain by that? Did you at least get his name? Or let him in on the fact that he looked so much like your dad? I mean, an opportunity showed up right in front of your door, and you chose to let fear cause you to miss out on it.(That is essentially what your thread is telling me.) 🥱🥱

Chidollars1994:
everything is a joke to you guys

A joke? I actually met my look-alike and met the parents too(they looked nothing like my parents, mind you). I asked questions — siblings, birth date, state, passions, goals, etc.— and got as much information about the individual... basically, I pursued understanding rather than fear. Your OP leaves us wondering why you mentioned meeting the look-alike without revealing anything else. 🥱🥱🥱

Chidollars1994:
so what are you trying to say

I am trying to ascertain the point behind your post. Yes, we all probably have look-alikes out there somewhere, and some of us have met ours. So, what is the point of this thread? 🥱🥱🥱

Saybal:
your choice there is no need to get angry with other people opinion you can open another thread and tell us good things about single mothers,

Why create threads about single mothers if— and emphasis on the if— you are not truly interested in them?

OP—and others like him— goes around chatting up single mothers because somehow he is probably not interested in other women, and when these single mothers reveal they too are not cheap to him, he comes here to open a thread to throw a tantrum and rant discouraging other men from wanting the single mothers because he was rejected. Why are there such immature individuals out there still?

OKOATA:
Wet dream is part of life but religion has made people feel it's one big deal.

95% of people in the world apparently have wet dreams, but to Nigerians, na spirit husbands wey dey attack women mostly dem be. 🥱🥱🥱

FreeSpirited:
➜How about percentage of people who knack in their dream? Since I gave my life to Christ wet dreams and knacking in dream due to prolong celibacy makes me feel like I committed fornication.

How can a Nigerian man say he gave his life to a man who made it abundantly clear that He was sent only to the bloodline of Jacob, the man to whom the name "Israel" was given in that book? No be serious levels of delulu you dey operate under so? 🥱🥱

Chidollars1994:
Two months after my father’s burial, something happened that none of us has ever been able to explain.
One quiet afternoon, my siblings, my mother, and I were sitting outside our house when our gate suddenly opened. A man walked into the compound—and to our shock, he looked exactly like our late father. The resemblance was so perfect that, if I had been the only one who saw him, I would have thought I was hallucinating. But my siblings and my mother saw it too.
We were frozen with fear, unable to speak properly, just staring at him. Somehow, the man calmly approached us and greeted us. We responded, still in disbelief, our eyes fixed on his face. He then asked for directions to a church close to our house. We pointed him in the right direction, and he left.
Till this day, none of us has ever seen that man again.

You met a man who looked exactly like your dad. You didn't bother to ask whether he was related or what he was doing in the area? But you came here to tell us you saw someone who looked exactly like your dad? Why? 🥱🥱🥱

P.S. I supposedly met my twin about 30 years ago. I was told by others that we look alike, but I never did see how myself.

Rhymesy:
➜Have been dating this particular babe for 5 months now. Ever since she comes into my life, everything in me is not stable again. I started experiencing unnecessary hatred. Things in my place of work have not been going well. I will gather money planning to execute a particular plan but all of a sudden the money will just vanished without anything necessary. Setback have been the order of the day ever since she came. What should I do?

You are clearly over your head in stress and looking to dump blame on this girl, whose only crime may be that she decided to date you. Please, kindly break up with her so she can go find herself someone who does not consider her presence bad luck, while you can then focus on fixing your seems a lot more like issues that stem from a lack of financial and work discipline. 🥱🥱

Kalatium:
➜You couldn't even answer the yes or no question.

Are you for real?

DarkLover:
..., you can as well enlighten me what Love is, in your own pov.

We are not in the same boat; my understanding of what love is is far from what the general understanding out there is, and also nothing of what you highlighted in your OP. So, it is up to you to explain to us this novel idea of love you have, so we can get a peek into how much differently you are built from the average individual out there, that you would go as far as to expect perfection from others, when you are probably not first, or at least willing and able to provide that for yourself.

brain54:
➜Can you explain what you mean by relationships favor men...And not women. Kindly elaborate this!

Do Men Really Benefit More From Marriage Than Women?

And here is a perspective from a married mother in Nigeria. Also, check out the video and comments from women in marriages across Nigeria.

Kalatium:
➜So facts is what you believe to be true right?

A fact is a truth. 🥱🥱

Fyi, an opinion is not a statement of truth.

FriendsAndFans:
➜I like the colouring you gave this major sentence. Even men avoid fighting each other.
There are many reasons that could make a man make it home late. I'm coming home to Peace and not confrontation

. Meaning that there are equally many reasons that might make a woman make it home late, too, right?

Pupanchie:
➜Oga all this one u r saying is total rubbish, and come to think of it, what I saw few days scared me, U know why? Someone wife told his husband that he was going to a party but instead of going to the party, she decided to branch at his ex bf house for nack, after nacking, the man ask his driver to drop him off at the party, what can u tell me about that?
➜ The woman is very pretty and for sure u will know the man is taking good care of her but just that she doesn't have her own car yet but I was just imaging what could lead such kind of woman to do such and you know the moment a woman start nacking outside, just have it at the back of your mind that peace can no longer be in that home

What has this story of yours which I am almost certain you did not verify yourself, got to do with what the OP typed up there?

Anyway, has the husband considered praying against the devil of infidelity that is responsible for trying to break apart his marriage, leading his wife back to her ex when she supposedly dey party? 🥱🥱

2. Why wonder about such things when it is the very same things that lead men who have great wives at home to cheat on them that also led this woman? 🥱🥱

You will see men whose wives are taking good care of them regularly cheating on them, and the same you will not even say a thing about it. But the moment you find a woman doing the same thing, you begin to ask mumuni-level questions, why? 🥱🥱

FriendsAndFans:
➜What do you make of a woman starting a physical confrontation with a husband coming home from work?

You no dey read?

brain54:
Sure, same as fair weather females...

All women ought to rationally be fair-weather women. Why? Because relationships at their base do not favor women but men. It is literally a survival tactic to adopt.

Oyindidi:
➜I built with a struggling man and I'm happy I did. My crown is shining bright on my head . QUEEN

That 1-out-of-every-100-women woman who built with a struggling man and was not abandoned by him by the time she turned 40 or took ill is not the rule for all other women out there to follow.

Diamond098454:
absolutely correct✅
The demand is becoming much especially from men even in a relationship they feel entitled to the extent he won't allow any man come close to you

. Many of those men making those demands after marriage are merely looking to create an excuse— a sort of miserable alibi— to justify their desire to commit infidelity in marriage. 🥱🥱🥱

Nigerian society rarely frowns on men cheating on their wives, so even when with a woman they somehow desire, some men go out of their way to establish an excuse with which to justify their desire to commit infidelity. That is why a man who rarely bothered much about sex during the dating phase would suddenly present himself as some sort of sex fiend after marriage. More times than not, it is not because he suddenly desires his woman, but rather that he is ready to begin looking outside of the marriage for his pleasures. 🥱🥱

Diamond098454:
I wonder how married women cope with the excessive demands of sex from there husband

. It should be dealt with in the same way non-married people cope with excessive demands for sex from their partners. The one with the problem learns to better handle their need rather than attempt to impose it on the other human. Most people know to adopt sexual discipline before and while dating. There is no reason why such sexual disciplines should be thrown out the door after marriage. If the partner feels he/she can find better outside of the marriage, then there is also divorce, which is a legal way out of marriage.

It is never the responsibility of one partner to needlessly suffer to satisfy the other partner.

always247:
➜I dont know if she is infected but they are still together and she shows no sign of leaving the marriage

CHEEZZZUUUSSSS!!!!😩😩😩

See how you contradict and confuse yourself?You said "Two conflicting matters cannot be true at the same time" only for you to say "both are wrong. "That is you affirming that two conflicting matters can be right.

I have always wondered why a course in Logic is not required at the elementary school level, and this here is one major reason why. How a grown individual cannot reason even the basic things... it disturbs my mind.

judewrites:
➜Our destinies differ. The big mistake we make is to compare ourselves with other people.
What we lose to sex outside marriage is proportional to the greatness of our destiny. What I really mean is the greater your destiny, the greater the loses to sex outside marriage. That's why you should be extremely careful with your own destiny and stop looking at others who are misbehaving sexually because what they lose cannot be compared with what you lose! As for certain 'big men', many of them use sex as occultic means to upgrade financially! As for those reading this_apologies for drifting from the topic!

A prostitute— she probably had sex with more men than are currently alive in your entire village today — who lived thousands of years ago, has her name near immortalized. You are telling us that by not having sex, we can protect this assumed greater destiny, supposedly greater than that of this particular prostitute? 🥱🥱🥱🥱

The literal cognitive dissonance that powers these religious delusions —all contradictions-ridden, mind you— person no fit buy am for market at all. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

always247:
the guy is married. he has been treating stubborn malaria and typhoid for so long until recently they discovered its hiv

. Hope his wife is not already infected. And I hope this will be the final sign she needs to realize she should not be in that marriage.

Tenrack:
ask your papa

He was not poverty-ridden, hence such talk never emanated from his mouth, and for good reason. Na poverty-ridden men dey always talk of how dem take care of women.

Tenrack:
No still mean say no be scam in most cases. Mam go just busy inherit wahala. You take care of a woman who might destroy you later because you no be blood. Abeg abeg.

It is always the poverty-ridden entities going around claiming they took care of women. How much do you give or pay her for all she does that you believe in your delusion that you take care of her? 🥱🥱🥱