₦airaland Forum

wildcatter23:
Where is the sense of rationale in this matter? You decide to change roles from house wife to side chick. Where is the sense in all this?

Here's a little sense for you to borrow.... Wives labor in vain to have their husbands continue cheating on them, while sidechicks don't need to do much to gain more benefits from the same men than the wives do.

dettolgel:
It pays her more given that side chicks get better pecks than wives get from their husbands

Indeed!🥱🥱🥱

Oyindidi:
That's life for you, it's only bad when you're at the receiving end

Those women who continue to forgive and forget the adulterous humiliation that is their marriage shouldn't feel bad about it since they are enablers in their own trauma by their decison to remain.

culf:
Becoming what she dislike. Breaking another woman's home, it's bad.

You assume she disliked it, though. I think that rather, she probably came to the realization that she is better off as a sidechick than a wife... laboring in vain for a man who openly and blatantly cheats on her, claiming it is his entitled right even in the marriage she finds herself shackled in.

Ewedegubbler:
➜My friend from Enugu married a big politicians daughter, brought her to South Africa but the gal and her mother so badly undermined this guy. She decided to leave the marriage and moved back
To naija with their only Child. Fast forward it today, this ex wife of his is now his sidechick while he is happily to another humble gal. Life no balance ooo

The sidechick is better off because societally, sidechicks are treated far better than wives are.

Amarachieze:
➜This sounds 'sadistic" and gender biased you mean the very act that broke your marriage is no wrong to woman your are sleeping with the husband?
➜ And you seem to be justifying an adulterous woman while vilifying the man.
➜ In other words, women are free to sleep with people's husbands and the men are not to think of it talk less of doing it.
➜ Sorry to say that it is absurd and gender or rather feminists extremism

1. The act that broke her marriage is her husband's violation of his marriage vow — he made the vow to his wife, and then he broke the vow. What is sadistic and gender-biased about that fact, which is recognized by the law? 🥱🥱🥱

2. You don't seem to know the meaning of the word "Adulterous". An adulterous individual is a married individual who violates his or her marriage vow. By divorcing her adulterous husband—a married individual who violated his own marriage vows— she ceases to be married and can hence not be adulterous in her dealings. Her exchange with the adulterous married man only makes her a party to the adultery but does not make her adulterous.

Please, endeavor to learn the correct meaning and correct application of terms.

3. Nigerian society applauds married men who sleep with other women, does it not? Meaning that any woman who sleeps with a married man is not to be held accountable for married men and their choices in any way.

4. Nothing of what I stated here has anything to do with such, but what are your societal norms and laws? Are your laws feminist? Gender-biased, I get, but feminist... I doubt.

Fulgur:
➜With you there's always a cognitive void when logic is involved. You barely can see eye to eye with common sense. Rights most of the time is birthed from a concept of human emotions not necessary in line with reality. I wasn't talking about human rights in my post.
➜ And there we go, a 'man' protecting himself from unwanted pregnancy you say? Aren't you just the ramification of a society basically at odds with common sense? And why didn't basic biology teach you that you're more likely to get infected than a man?
➜ A morally healthy woman knows what she loses when she offers sex casually. But this is completely beyond your scope of understanding as you've long shed your innocence in the bed of "freedom".
➜ What is left of you is someone lawless, unhinged, carefree with whom nothing is ever sacred, not even the passage leading to her fertility chamber.

That is a very idiotic statement for a supposed adult to make in the year 2025. Your country, Nigeria, is a signatory to the UN Universal Declaration of Human Rights. If you don't know that your Rights as a human are legally defined, then I suggest you make Google your friend.

2. You are making no sense here. Again, what I posted is that in the same way a man has to protect himself from sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies is the same way a woman also has to protect herself from both. Sure, we have scumbags who dump pregnancies on women, but the fact is, once that pregnancy of the man's DNA it is still his regardless of whether he turns out an imbe—cile at the end of the day.

3. Morality means bullsheet. For instance, in Northern Nigeria, it is morally acceptable that a child have his hands chopped off if he is found stealing bread to feed himself and his siblings. Are you telling me that this is the same morality you hold to? 🥱🥱🥱

No healthy, sane woman holds on to the moral standards of any society. Rather, she chooses herself over all constraints pushed at her by society. 🥱🥱🥱

4. Nonsense! You don't need your useless morality, traditions/religion to obey the law and be a law-abiding citizen of any country. You just need the law and nothing else. 🥱🥱🥱

Amarachieze:
➜Read the submission carefully: She was rightly not happy because her husband cheated
➜ but now she's doing the same wrong to another woman.

The one who caused her unhappiness was the married man she was contracted to be a wife to.

2. She is not doing anything to another woman, given that she is not the one married to this other woman. Her husband i,s and that woman should focus her attention and grudge against her husband.

Fulgur:
➜Many a woman has lost her purpose and happiness and consequently their essence when they peer across the gender divide in envy and lust, and I dare say malice.
➜ There are many, and they roam the cyberspace with a twisted concept about life, roles and gender, and then a twisted sense of entitlement.
Well, the hole is between your thighs, so, you have a lot to lose when you lose shame.

1. Women never lose their right to pursue life, liberty, and happiness... same as a man can't ever lose that right, too—UN Universal Human Rights. No peer or emotions can cause one to lose those rights. I suggest you get yourself educated on what your rights as a human being are... it is the same as those women have.

2. Nonsense! The same way a man has to protect himself during sex to avoid contracting sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies, is the same way a woman also loses nothing when she protects herself during sex. 🥱🥱

Shame is generally a societal construct. When society no longer shames men for being community dicks, knowing that these men need women to be this, the women have no reason to walk around ashamed for doing the same.

Angelfrost:
✓ Okay.... So, why become a side-chick giving another hapless woman the very same headache she ran from?!!
✓ Yes, a side-chick is not to blame for a man's cheating, but she is undoubtedly a key element in the vicious cycle of infidelity... I mean, she can easily say no!

This is a no brainer. Sidechicks are generally treated better than wives and have the freedom to move on to the next boyfriend when the current man is no longer of need. Wives are stuck serving the same man who belittles, abuses, and humiliates them for what may seem their whole lives, all for what? A mere Mrs badge which is really worthless in Nigerian society. 🥱🥱🥱

She is not to blame means she is NOT the key in element in the vicious cycle of infidelity; the man is; he is the one bound by his married contract to his wife whom he disrespects by his actions. 🥱🥱🥱

Zocalite:
✓ You like this kind of thread too much
Kilode!

Its a chance to stand on the side of equity. 🥱🥱🥱

Adonkia:
from one scumbag to another.

Side chicks are generally treated more humanely than wives are. Since she feels she has no choice but to continue dealing with scumbags, she might as well be on the side that comes with better benefits instead of lying to herself.🥱🥱

The value of marriage for a Nigerian woman is in the toilet, thanks to the Nigerian society; sidechicks are better valued than wives by the very society. So, any woman who gets tired of slaving away for a man who sees them no better than a slave to be used for his needs, but still wishes to keep a man around, is better off back in the dating pool or as a sidechick.

YeyeGbami:
✓ Moving on to become a free kpekus 😂😂😂

Married men are allowed to be free community dicks... Nothing wrong with a woman wanting the same freedom. Second, sidechick kpekus is not free even to a married man. Yes, married men spend more per capita on their sidechicks than on their wives. So, she literally went from being free to a married man to being of greater value to a married man. 🥱🥱

GenFunction:
Chai.
It's a pity u think this way.
So na side chick she wan be now?
Na her toto go hear am.
Very poor decision my dear.
It's okay to abandon the marriage,but to go and be a side chick?
Come on mehn.

Nigerian society does not grown at married men having side chicks therefore societally there is nothing wrong with a woman want to be a side chick and not a wife. 🥱🥱

And no, Why is she to blame for a married man cheating on his wife? Use your brain? Why blame the woman for the decisions and actions of the man? 🥱🥱🥱

tollyboy5:
She's a bad egg just like her husband. The other married man here is the winner.
He keeps his marriage and flirt with a divorcee and might also have a young chick also.
Life no balance, be on the winning side is better . That's what the other married man is benefiting from the losers.

Society decides what is bad and what is not in such things. Nigerian society allows married men to date women they want. She chose to abandon her marriage at least. And she is not to blame for the married man choosing to commit adultery on his wife, a freedom society allows married men.

IbrahimSola:
✓ Then why become a side-chick TO ANOTHER MARRIED MAN at all if you left your husband because of another side-chic? Is this not insanity?

She herself is not married, hence she breaches no marriage laws. Why is she to be held responsible for the decisions of a married man? Why should she be responsible for the decisions of a grown individual whose contract it is? Insanity is expecting someone else to take the blame — general accountability — for the faults of married men.

That she is no longer married and chooses to date as she will, you are still going after her. Why? Clearly, this isn't about a seek for justice or sanity, but a push to further blame women for all that is the fault of married men, both inside and outside of their marriage. 🥱🥱🥱

ogascomax:
✓ You show say you really dey okay?

Consider yourself first. 🥱🥱🥱

PassingShot:
✓ So, does it now make sense that she's now an adulterous woman herself ?

Use your brain! Adultery only applies to those who are married . She is no longer married therefore free to date as she chooses..🥱🥱🥱

mikeapollo:
✓ You have no genuine point. What sense does it make for a married woman to divorce her husband for cheating, then she becomes a side to another married man? Unless the woman had been cheating on the husband and now wants an excuse to justify her continued cheating.

It makes every sense since divorce releases her form the legal contract that is marriage by which she could be legally charged of a crime for dating while married. Being single means she is free to date as she wants.

maasoap:
✓ 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Kobo no go kill person for Nairaland.
Kobo is not right in the head, walahi. Was that decision even beneficial to that wife, herself?

Use your brain next time! The scumbags are those who are married and creating...not those who are single and still dating. A single individual owes a society that allows married men to date np politeness.

Hussein035:
✓ By your logic she should have remained without dating a married man also

Wrong! She at least cleared out of the marriage with the disrespectful douchbag she was married to. Nothing wrong with her dating afterwards.

Fulgur:
✓ You've always had a hard time with sound judgement. A woman's dignity to you is as dead as a forgotten hit song iof the 50's.
Little wonder the 21st century women have no shame.

Do the 21st century Nigerian men have shame? Why should the 21st century Nigerian women bother themselves with such meaningless constructs when men are not held to the same standard? :-
If society has shame meaning absolutely nothing where men are concerned why should the same society expect it to mean anything to the women? 🥱🥱🥱

Savvy19:
Makes sense

The notion that there is one person out there for each, doesn't make sense. The myth of Soulmates, put forward by Aristophanes in Plato's Symposium makes even less sense when you consider that the idea was completely dismantled by one of the attendees at the party 1000s of years ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDvMRvWjI9Q?si=v6oZzRTP3AUbxKPT

That people hold on to the idea even at that shows how ignorance will always rule in the mind of the ignorant and blind.🥱🥱

Why Fear Grows When Knowledge Is Missing
Fear often thrives in silence and confusion. Whether it’s fear of failure, change, illness, or the future, uncertainty makes problems feel larger than they truly are. By choosing to learn and ask questions, we begin to break fear into manageable pieces, making it easier to face what once seemed overwhelming.

Religion thrives on fear and ignorance! 🥱🥱

Bendeco02:
Majority of women are betrayals and spoilers by nature. That she is married to you won't stop her from destroying you as well if you are not careful.

You wey you marry her to use her for free labor and sex, are you any better than she is?

Naijalegal:
YOU CAN GIVE US YOUR OWN SOLUTIONS

Um...how about you never date or marry a Narcissist. And if you find out that you are in the same boat with a narcissistic individual or someone with narcissistic tendencies fashioned against you in the relationship... abandon ship because you will never win or come out on the good side. 🥱🥱

If the narcissistic individual happens to be your father, mother, sibling , or even your ex, don't hesitate to go nocontact with that inividual to protect your peace and sanity. 🥱🥱

Naijalegal:
➜A lot is going on and we must be watchful because the bible said watch and pray

Wait a second.... are you implying that praying to this god of yours eliminates the narcissistic tendencies of no influence —magically puffs all their abuse out of your lives? If so, how come the rate of abuse in your religious marriages(including abuse of narcissistic pastors against both their wives and followrs) doesn't seem any different from that noticed in non-religious marriages?

Naijalegal:
the law is the law and the law has spoken and we must obey the law

What law? I literally asked what logical reason a woman would have to retain the name of her ex.

Ubahjessica:
Learn the act of pre-intimacy before PENETRATION
Worship your woman's body
Adore your woman's body
Don't act like PENETRATION is all what she needs
Do you agree with me? 👇

Why? Why do you lot do everything possible to remove sanity from even the mundane things? Why should anyone go around worshipping the body of another being? Are the women in question Bilquis from "American Gods"? Yuck! 🥱🥱🥱

Sex is just two physical bodies grinding and nothing more. Stop trying to add meaning to something that happens about 1 billion times each week, abeg! 🥱🥱

Antichristian2:
➜ In those days Jesus went out to the mountain to pray, and He spent the night in prayer to God. Luke 6:12 Abeg who was Jesus praying to?
➜ And why did he have to pray throughout the night?
➜ This is unlike some Christians today that commands God as if He owes them something! Is it that Jesus had a God he pray to and depend on?

➜According to the book, He knew it was D-day, he was to be dead less than 24 hours later, so he didn't particularly feel like sleeping and so spent the night talking to His Father. That text literally tells you He was praying to His Father.

2. Nothing suggests He had to pray throughout the night, but he did it anyway. I don't know about anyone else, but I usually have a hard time sleeping the night before an event. So, I stay awake all through the night, either reading or watching a movie, waiting...anticipating.

3. All religions are, of course, scams. 🥱🥱🥱

TVTM2023:
➜Many single christian ladies dislike the thought of marrying a man of God! Some of them would have been praying for a god fearing man and one that has a loving and caring heart!
The truth is marriage to a Pastor is a whole different level!
Why is this so? A lot of these single ladies do not have the capacity to carry or cope with ministerial responsibilities and the occupational hazards of being a "Pastor's wife!!!!

When you say single women do not have what it takes to "cope with ministerial responsibilities and the occupational hazards of being a "Pastor's wife", you mean the numerous adulterous scandals, the emotional abandonment, narcissistic trauma, and possibly the blatant lies woven as truths by throwing around the term "God" here and there?

Nah! I think most single ladies rightly see the bullsheet for what it is, and they are not interested in that much packaged bullsheet being handed to them in the name of marriage. 🥱🥱🥱

razzydoo:
So with all my hustling, I go get aparte for youkay and one woman will call police on me and they'll tell me to leave? Okay na😁👍

It never works that way. In the majority of the cases where the man is kicked out, either the woman is the primary name on the lease or both the man and woman are.

You only need to properly reason these lies they tell you to realize them for what they are. How can a total stranger show up at my home and then have me kicked out just like that?