₦airaland Forum

klibpaper: www.nairaland.com/attachments/4309639_images23_jpg75c79385cdb37facfaf12812bff35402

Clutching his right hand tigh-fistedly, and mentally re-assuring himself that the torture his ears were being subjected to will end as soon as the call disconnects, local man Sikiru Dada reportedly brought out his Samsung galaxy smartphone and began deleting old, horrible personal pictures of himself from his gallery just to keep his hands too occupied from slapping the annoying lady beside him who-- after looking at her phone's screen and saw the callers name as "bae"--- cleared her throat five times and picked the call.

The man, expressing his shock and disbelief said he could not believe his ears when the same girl who had been chatting with him throughout the better part of the journey in plain pidgin English and a typical Nigerian accent, suddenly transformed into a middle-aged,white British woman immediately she picked the call.

"Immidiately she cleared her throat and picked the call, her accent changed. Who i was now seeing was a middle-aged, white, native British woman. Honestly, i was really disgusted. It took the grace of God and restraint on my part not to land her a very dirty slap", explained Dada.

The man, who said at that point, knew she was suffering from severe inferiority complex, was said to have been unable to hide his amusement and shook his head repeatedly when the girl switched back to her Nigerian accent Immidiately the call ended.

Another passenger sitting at the front seat of the bus who was equally amused by the lady's unstable character and described her as "probably bi-polar", was reported to have been thrown into an intense fit of hysterical laughter when Dada--who was sitting beside the lady-- replied a question she asked in pidgin with a Polish accent, after clearing his throat five times, too.

CaptEColeJnr:
Exactly brother!

Ina gin Hausa.. Ama kadan kadan ne
Kai ma ka na gin Hausa ne?

Ah Kano aka aife ni.

Ah Kano na yi girma.

CaptEColeJnr:
I totally agree to this.
We all should be mindful of what we say online because any little thing could trigger unexpected havoc.

In the same vein,we all are brothers.. He will learn as time goes on. Let's bury the hatchet.

CaptEColeJnr:
Oga Ksslib a beg calm down
No take am serious

I've let it go sha, but that kid needs to get his act together else he is going to have a very big problem in school since infuriating people far above him in every facet of life, and meddling in affairs that do not concern him is what he seems to have a passion for.

I rarely engage in online squabbles because I see it as childish and waste of precious megabytes that should be used on important things like stalking secondary school mates on facebook and googling, but I had to swallow my pride and descend to jackoshit's level because not only has he been masturbating to the thought of a confrontation from me for some time now, spitting bile and phlegm is the only language people like him understand.

He once threw a jab at me but I ignored because he isn't worth the stress. I only replied today cos the kiddo mentioned my name, and made an inflammatory statement that many Uniben students here will testify could have wrecked havoc on his academic journey if he was phoolish enough to have said it in school. Na advice me dey give am.

It seems like he wants to pursue a career in comedy--- if the welder glasses on his profile picture is anything to go by--- but he needs to know when to be, and how to be funny.

It's nothing serious.

Gofwane:
buahahaha... So basically, lala's love for snakes is unquantifiable?

Jackossky:
Lastly,ksslib
You get problem oooh,so if I get beef with you on net
You will come to the class to disgrace me when I am admitted,
Wow,it seems you don't want to finish the school in peace, you want to regret ever coming to meet someone like me....

So..You will see me,coz we gat some internet iissh and try to humiliate me....it is going to be a fiasco....
Nonsense... Respect yourself

Gofwane:
This op ehn, you no well at all

jelel6:
thanks alot. i would take her so she screens on her said date. I Know how clearance was then for us, it was royal rumble. you are right about uniben's methods, am a student there as well.

jelel6:
I have come across this moniker before on this forum, and I remember it from only the bad reasons. what I asked was simple, why the insensitivity on your part ?. why the rudeness ?. would you reply me like this if I had met you in person ?. people even felt your reply was appropriate, am surprised. my sister saw this and was pissed I ask that question here.
you can edit your " dead and gone person" phrase from your post. the deceased is OUR mum actually. hope you learn really.

RobinHez:
The thing tire me...

Maybe na because of new students. Them wan manually regulate the available space to reserve some for them.

But then again, maybe their IT administrators lack the technical know-how to do it online. I mean these are the same set of people who cannot compose an ordinary sentence free of gbagaun. Haba

I was checking something online for a cousin of mine not too long ago, and the grammatical sacrilege i saw on kofa would, if care is not taken, incure the wrath of "gramato"-- god of grammar--- on innocent, un-suspecting aspirants.

Abeg do quick register then tell me how it went.

RobinHez:
Yes... Everyone knows that...


Riggt now I wish my mum didn't fall into labor while in mid-air which gave cause to drop me at the nearest landing spot - Nigeria

RobinHez:
OK I give up... We resuming on the 7th, if not for anything... To pay school fees and apply for hostel space.

Only God know why dem change am to manual.

Manual in this 21st century?

RobinHez:
No news yet.... Meaning na still 7th

Davash222:
My dear, the problem is not from you. Mathematics is Boring, I can bet my birthday cake that 85% of us here are victims of this situation .. Who takes mathematics serious

"Who takes mathematics serious?" Is that a question or a joke?

And FYI, maths is not boring. It's the way it's being taught by teachers who don't even understand what maths is even all about that makes it boring. I WAS a victim too.

Mathematics is so beautiful that, why it works how it does will remain a mystery. It's the language of the Universe. The language of life itself.

klibpaper: Saying that even God would understand in this Buhari economy, local Nigerian pastor and spiritual leader of Burn Down Hell Ministries on Sunday, announced his decision to go into sports betting during a Sunday service.

"Brethren, my dear people of God, hard times are here" said the annointed man of God, who squeezed his face, bit his tongue, looked at the floor while shaking his head, and was reported to have screamed "argh" "ahhh" five times.

"When was the last time any of you gave offering? How do you expect me to eat, to survive! How?? I am sorry, but I cannot pull down manna from heaven. I am a man of God, not a magician" explained the pastor who said he has not eaten a standard meal for months and was tired of soaking garri.

"Which is why after much fasting and prayer, I have decided to go into sports betting. I know the devil-- accuser of the brethren, has deceived some of you that sport betting is a sin but show me anywhere in the bible where God used his mouth to call the word 'sport betting' a sin. Sister Chioma, can you? How about you, brother Jude? I am waiting " preached the pastor who also talked about a "Youth Out-reach" program where young, talented church youths will be trained by betting experts for a 6 month period to enable them stand out in the betting industry and help recover the so far lost cash that rightfully belongs to the church of God from the current ailing economy.

The pastor, who also revealed to his congregation that he has started taking an online course on mordern sports betting techniques and was already topping his class, was said to have impressed them greatly and drew a defeaning round of applause when he used terminologies like-- over 1.5, full-time draw, handicap 1 --- to break down scriptures.

At press time, members could be seen forming a big circle that had the pastor in the middle, all chanting to the heavens and sprinkling holy water on what appeared to be a picture of three time ballon d'or winner, Cristiano Ronaldo-- glued to hundreds of betting tickets. The highlight, however, was said to have been when the pastor stepped forward and anointed the Real Madrid player's leg with olive oil to the delight of all his members who kept chanting and prophesying to their tickets, eyes closed-- "Ronaldo to score..... Ronaldo to score...... Ronaldo to score"

RobinHez:
No news yet.... Meaning na still 7th

RobinHez:
You should not have called anyone a fool.... And now you're making words against the very people you started out with.... Let this die down abeg.

bobo65:
Same here, tot twas only me

RobinHez:
As always...

http://www.klibpaper.com/2016/09/mtn-illegal-credit-deduction.html

RobinHez:
LOL, na airtel I dey use since o... Who mtn help?

RobinHez:
Port to airtel

aalangel:
You just contradicted yourself from beginning to the end. Don't call me "you Biafrans". I married a Yoruba man with my two eyes open.

Your write-up is full of hate for the Ibos. My only point is that there's no tolerance, so separation is the best.

Your "100" paragraph shows you don't like your fellow human being, talk more An IBO man.

Can you do what I did? As in marry a "Biafran"? Don't be quick to answer, cos you'll finally realise that you have a lot of hate in you. You are the one that should let go!!!!

Coldfeet:
Don't mind ksslib he meant himself.
Saying we and us like say na him papa surname the whole Niger delta dey bear.

aalangel:
It really baffles me that when someone hates someone, you still won't let the person go his way. Nigerians hate "Biafrans". It's simple, Let Them Go!!! So that we'll know we're in different countries. Let the hate stop. I'm married to your people. I don't mind travelling to another country to visit my husband's people. You don't want them, they don't want you. Separation is the best!!!!