₦airaland Forum

We were in a busy market somewhere in Osun-state when I curiously drew my friend’s attention to a store. There was this mother relaxing in the background, obviously exhausted from struggling to sell her wares of some dry fish and other condiments. There was also a young boy of about 14 years. Equally present was also this young girl of about 9 years, who appeared to be totally in charge, with such dexterity in attending to customers, that she would make any world-class salesman green with envy. I pointed out to my friend again, to compare the level of maturity displayed by the siblings: One already adept at a basic ingredient of survival and successful business： marketing, while the boy fiddles unconcernedly with his mobile phone.

Even in most urban homes, have you observed the common setting of where the daughter is there in the kitchen helping the mum, while the boy is languidly reclining on the parlour sofa, surfing leisurely through tv channels, only to be called to the table when food is served .The underlying belief of our world being a man’s world is partly responsible for this.

If a parent has to send a child on an errand, who do you think would be readily sent？A female child of course? Have you also observed the level of strictness deplored in training a girl-child? ‘Sit like a lady’, ‘Don’t shout like that, you are a lady’ ‘Be accommodating, you are going to be a mother one day’ and many others to give our girl-child prim and proper upbringing. For the male child however, we all seem to give them such free rein, ably supported by the usual refrain-‘He is a man oo’.

Ironically, a basic skill such as cooking, an essential skill for every human, which we have culturally ceded to female gender, under the excuse that the future wife would take charge, is lost forever. We seem to forget that an average human would spend 25% of his income in a lifetime on food. So, what stops him from mastering its preparation, where basic skills such as measurement, time management, patience, planning, multitasking, and creativity etc.are imbibed.

At such a young age, the the boy-child grows with the “boss attitude” of always being served, which doesn’t work out that way in an adult world. It is even worse if the child is an only son or child.

There were times I had to check myself whenever I noticed what I considered the highhandedness of my wife in her dealing with my first daughter. It looks as if she is a perfectionist, who wants her to get everything right, but on a second thought, I realized it is for her own good and that what we were often told as children, that we should make mistakes and learn is not entirely true, as some mistakes are too fatal to be made or allowed.

Now even in school, how do the two genders fare ？Let me share an experience. We were trying to constitute a Student Representative Council in an A level college in Lagos, when we were faced with the stark reality that if we were to strictly follow the set down criteria（responsibilty,discipline etc）to choose members of this council, no boy would make the team. In the end, we had to use a quota system of ceding the position of the Secretary General to one of the the boys！

Many years down the line, the girl seamlessly fits into her role of being responsible mothers, while the boys are still grappling with basics of manhood, not to talk of even being a responsible father. No, wonder we see nowadays that the maturity of a 17 year old girl is almost equal to that of a 40 year old man!

Our environment has changed in such a short time, so drastically that skills that were in high demand some thirty years ago are no longer so.With every passing day, it is becoming glaring that raw physical strength which gave men professional edge in the past is no longer so.Traditional professions such as Medicine are not so hot again, or have even been hybridized into more attractive professions, where intelligence, skills, creativity hold sway. .

Feminism despite all its flaws has engendered a lot of positives. More than before, girl-child is now exposed to the same opportunities as the male and are excelling. You needn’t go far to see the growing number of female becoming presidents of countries and corporations. Even in the work place where every career is synonymous with marketing, a female with all the imbued soft skills definitely has an edge.

On the home front, the battle even gets fiercer .Where men used to hold sway being traditionally acclaimed as the bread winner, there has been a reversal of role, with men now playing the second fiddle and men now being the ‘house-husbands’. Where a man is not too comfortable with this new role, he resorts to a cowardly option, by unleashing violence on his more successful spouse, thus the reason for the growing number of domestic abuse we have today.

In a new world of objective assessment of outcomes, women are definitely going to take charge and control things and a quota may have to be put in place to accommodate the male! Don’t blame the female, nature just has a way of not allowing a vacuum. Where men through faulty upbringing, have become irresponsible, seeing life only from the purview of making money and pleasure, women have rightly stepped in.

The solution is very simple. Parents must just change their approach to parenting. Apply the same strict parenting, often given to the girl-child to the male-child!

Kunle Abrahams
Kunleabrahams046@gmail.com

OLADD:
The[sup][/sup]re he goes again. I just don't know why some elders wouldn't stop engaging in empty boasts. A Tinubu that couldn't do anything about the death of Abiola despite his threats of fire and brimstone should stop unnecceary grandstanding. While we detest any military coup at this stage of our nascent democracy, the likes of Tinubu can't do jack if it happens. Let no one be deceived by these double-faced politicians.

Didnt do anything about Abacha? You were probably an infant or not conversant with the June 12 history.

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kinibigdeal:
Why is the lady at the back posing on another person's picture

Called photo bombing.Ask Olajumoke!

1.Losing touch with the basics of Christian faith- Christian faith is built on the 3 major fulcrums or what you can call pillars: prayer,reading and doing the Word and evangelism.

2.Delegating almost everything- Because of the availability of resources to pay many aides ,there is the tendency to stop basic things and this results to being redundant .Of course Devil finds work for a idle hand

3.Too much money-many pastors suddenly come into unimaginable wealth they are not so prepare for.Of course money seeks its own diversion in form of worldly pleasures -women,drugs etc.

4.Adulation of men- With many unbecoming titles and hero worship tendency in Africa, many pastors get carried away and embrace pride Even when they suffer a setback and they could have easily retraced their steps,they think of what mortal men would say and think.

5.Want of variety in women- Most pastors married their wives in their early stage of devotion to their faith and most wives remain loyal to this in dressing and orientation. These wives sadly are to compete with young provocative ladies the pastor is being exposed to every day

ephi123:
Nigerians and Nigeria, smh.

Why can't leaders set up systems and structures? Can every single graduate have the opportunity of meeting the state governor? What happens to those who can't have that opportunity?

He truly deserves the first class. He simply identified an opportunity and exploited it!

He has done nothing wrong! Just cutting hair that doesn't belong to them.(Peruvian,Brazillian) etc

Dongreat:
Wonderful. So you mean Putin goes around the streets of Moscow, inspecting sewers or Trump goes uninvited to JFK airport just to inspect the toilets. I see why the citizens of third world countries are just, well to put it politely, "Bloody Illiterate".

Truly Nigerian deserve the kind of leaders they have.

If you dont know ,if you want to sincerely know how an institution or organisation runs,just run a simple test,visit its toilet!

This is the best government so far because its policies favour my business ,so I cant join the protest! Get something doing!

Used to be my student back then.First of all the pictures posted are not her own . Secondly the Ajibola that I knew then some 18 years ago would never make such utterance. Such shy and easy-going lady.

idupaul:
Nigerians have started queuing for essential commodity and they dont even know it yet...1984 is fully back

Professor of Negativity!

Litesanti:
this is "Peter Utaka" not John

Thanks for the corrections

Very shallow argument. Your wife that has been with you for 17 yrs doesn't need the decoy of a driver to poison. Women are damn too smart for that!

EmeeNaka:
Fayose is the greatest Yoruba man ever.
The Lion of the tribes of Yorubas. The only man that Fulani herdsmen and their aso rock patron fears.
Ride on Fayose the Rock!

Cant you learn from decent post above you? Know someone would descent to bigotry soonest and it is uou unfortunately!

alaskido:
Everything in this country is fun fair. To deliver shoes that you can send through KONGA. Do you have to throw a party, call pressmen and make big announcements? I tire for this country called Nija. Cheap publicity stunt.

It is called PR young man.

Why just saying these good things about him now? Would have voted for him!

googlepikins:
Trump be like, you dey madd. I will deal with you boko haram

Some people's mind works towards negativity.

PaulIdu:
Ambode of Life !!!! .. Ambode exposing that dubious Fashola's incompetence daily

Dont be ignorant .Fashola did 85% of the project . Lagos works on the basis of cooperation and continuity ,not competition.

aminho:
you need to open your eyes to reality

This is Mambilla plateau . used to spend my holidays there some 15 years ago.This tea plantation used to belong to Unilever ,producer of lipton tea before they sold it Highland tea ,the producer of Top tea.

bayelsaowei:
oboy you finish work..

Lagos must be mad for asking for some special treatment..

We all made lagos what it is..if we all leave Lagos becomes a skeletal city..

Can you afford to leave Lagos and not starve?

babyhrt:
My fear in all of this is that, the Kaduna state governor is coming for Christians and if they can do this to a sect of Islam, only God knows what they will do to Chritians.

Know that I won't be disappointed. Somebody must bring s religious angle to it.Is El Rufai not trying to Islamise Kaduna aga?

PRYCE01:
So we gon use the US as yardstick?

You guys are pathetic! Don't the U.S have different laws than ours?

The NBA just said the move by the SSS was illegal and someone's bringing the US into the equation! Pity!!

Please what is the meaning of NBA? A bunch of lawyers that benefit from any legal squabble by demanding for their legal fee.Why have they not protested over other issues before now? Now that their pay packet is to be affected they are crying out.

[quote author=Dreal11247 post=49806966]Bihari who I know has one major plan and that is to Islamise Nigeria. Those who know him should better tell him to terrace his steps. There is the Almighty God and when He strikes, he leaves indelible trails which generations yet unborn will see. A word is enough for the wise.[/quote

You are not making sense with your posting riddled with juvenile errors.

inicyril:
APC governors and substandard projects are like bread and butter.

Now know the reason the expression 'children of hate' was created. Always on the lookout to condemn and destroy.

TPAND:
Ladies these is just a piece of my mind and not a promotion for Uber.

In this age of Uber, no lady should be jumping unmarked and random taxis at such hour of the day. For your own safety download the Uber app and request a driver. It is safer, conducive, cheaper and reliable.

If an Uber driver had perpetrated such act, it is easy to retrieve his information from the uber system and such to relevant authorities.

Ladies please download the Uber app and save yourself from these drama

Pls bros.Have this notion that Uber is more expensive. Pls expatiate.

Must be Kenyans!

abokibuhari:
thank you madam environmentalist , where you they when boko haram bin they destroy their land ?

So you want to make boko haram now your role model? See sense.