₦airaland Forum

CountOlaf:
Yo! My fellow WOT reader
I love you already, no homo

The Light shine upon your path, friend.

Logobenz3:
I tried uploading yesterday but anti-spam bot banned me I don't know why.

The bot took one look at your post and went "logobenz, soffry soffry!"

Logobenz1, are you awake? Are you still feeling the groove of new love? Have you called, texted or any of the usual?

In short, how far

Hey. You guys up there. Need a room?

ifyalways:
LMAO.

We have lots of gullible folks here. How anyone will believe that the OP is in the NA beats me.

He will be back (if hes not already) with another story.

Lol. Punk didn't work out his story well. Pastor that took 6 pages before invoking God, that one na pastor?

Let's wait for his new format.

You guys on Nairaland have no chill. You caused the guy to delete his profile.


Savage.

respect80:
Inside life!
Is this how you have decided to discuss me and my family on a public forum like this? I came across this topic while going through the opera-news ads in my phone because it's been long since I logged in to my NL account.

You probably didn't know I'm a nairalander and you didn't mention any of the good things I have done for you for helping me look after my kids.
Meanwhile, I have forwarded the CV you sent to me to a friend of mine who is an indigene of Enugu state but works in Lagos and he assured me he would help you get something doing very soon cos I wasn't expecting to sit and look after my kids all day. I have or had good plans to complement every single help you've rendered to my family.

Well, I would like to say thank you for everything you have done for me, my wife and my kids and in light of this, I have also put a call to my wife to stop bothering you with our kids henceforth but I must say that you went too far on this cos you should have approached me or my wife with discretion and we would've understood your plight. What a humanity savage nature

It's a small world, they say.

Imagine say the woman husband dey NL true true and him just reply you like this

The kind cold wey go catch you ehn, 300 blankets no go do you

If the husband replies like this, then he's a larger nitwit than the wife. So gratitude for help rendered should disappear when help is no longer given?

If the woman or her husband had good intentions in the first place and not an exploitative attitude, if they read this, then they should realise how much of a burden they have been on the poor girl. They should immediately feel remorse and seek for ways to amend. Anything else shows they are fully aware of how much of a burden they have been and don't care. They mean to drain all the usefulness from the poor girl before they discard her like an empty carcase.

But your post made me laugh though. Nice one.

Saveme27:
Thanks to everyone throwing blames and all but we all should know we've all made silly mistakes at one point in our lives.

You still don't get it. This is not about throwing blame here and there. The blame is 100% yours. No one needs to throw it around. What everyone here has told you to do is SUCK IT THE HECK UP and learn from your mistakes.

For someone who claimed to be Christian-y enough to be called a pastor you sure as heck are very whiny and unrepentant. You are pleasing for random strangers on the internet to bear the result of your own actions.

You're either scamming or trolling. No one can be this groveling

Paroh:
I don't think I'm getting my point across. If you see how this woman goes to the point of years whenever I refuse to take them you'll know what I mean. I might just be mean and stop greeting her or something. Maybe when we're enemies this all will stop

Do you understand the meaning of the word "manipulation"?

I guarantee you that if anything in the slightest goes wrong, if you need any help or assistance, this woman will show you her face can show more emotions than tears.

If you are one of those people who find it difficult to say no, simply refuse to open the door when she comes. The stories she is going to spread about you will be no different than if you say no.

Like someone said, this arrangement is not sustainable and either way it goes, you are the one that is going to pay for it. Better you pay on your own terms.

No 2 children are alike. Some can be so different you wonder if they are siblings. Don't use the methods of any one for any other. Treat them as individuals. Never compare one to the other.

Saveme27:
Please don't talk this way, I've not taken my bath for two days now, I'm beaten and I keep thinking of death.

The advice I'm going to give you I guarantee you will not like. I also guarantee you will be better for it.

You have a job. You're in the military. You have the opportunity to start again on a more comfortable setting. All you need to know is that you won't get any help to utilize that visa. So consider that a lost cause.

You spent the last 4 years to raise that money, give yourself a new 4 year plan. Start saving again but this time, save in a money fund. You get better interest.

Focus. Keep your head on the ground. Ignore those people who "travelled out and made it" and those who "must travel out to make it"

Focus and start again with determination. It's not the end of the world. Like I said at the start of this thread, I failed twice myself. I got up and started again and by God's grace, I am in a much better place. You are not the first and you most certainly will not be the last.


You may also be trying to scam and to that you will not be the first on Nairaland as well. Brosses like Logobenz and aunties like ifyalways are always on the look out for that type.

Either way, you are on your own and that can only make you stronger

Sounds to me like some form of dyslexia.

Folks asking you to see a psychiatrist are not mocking. You need to confirm what it is.

Saveme27:
Everyone have made mistake at what point in their life, I've made this mistake and I've learnt but I'm ashamed to say it

Hiding behind shame is like remorse without repentance. It guarantees you will not learn from the mistake. You can give enough details on this forum while still maintaing your privacy

Saveme27:
Do you want to help or join others to mock me? This is the reason why people die silently without opening up to people

Unfortunately, ou have given just enough information to ensure those who want to mock you have a field day while not giving enough to convince those who may want to help you.

This is the internet afterall where scams are a dime a dozen. What else do you expect?

I'll ask it again, how did you loose your savings on saturday?

Iogobenz:
na wetin e talk weh I just dey analyse o.
I never even want investigate or not since I am not interested in helping anybody,especially those khaki wearing freaks!

I feel you bros. But I currently have nothing I'm doing today. I wan follow this road see where ee go reach

Saveme27:
thanks a lot for explaining to him sir.

Dude, you are not helping your case. You said you lost everything on Saturday. Now you are saying you used it all to aquire the visa. On your other thread, you made no mention of loosing any money.

For someone who claims he is a pastor, you have more holes in this story than a lace curtain.

Fill them in.

Iogobenz:
wetin e mean be say e don spend all of his bread to acquire visa without any money for ticket and logistics.
That is what he needs right now,else his visa will expire and then he will lose his investment.

So he planned to relocate to another country without a plan on funds for relocation?

Besides, he said he lost all his savings in one day. Even Togo visa no dey take one day!

Bros logobenz, leave matter for Mathias. Make OP talk wetin really dey do am.

So how did you loose it? MMM? Any of its siblings?

Yep. Twice.

Each time I picked myself up, dusted off, and started again.

Today I own 3 businesses. 3 profitable businesses.

You still have your job in the military, don't you?

Imokha:
Please what baby food can I introduce to my twin babies at 3 months as NAN formula doesnt fill them again

If they are taking NAN in the first olace, feed them more regularly if it doesn't fill them up.

Why my boy rejected SMA Gold, he would take NAN. Frisogold mixed with it for when he got older. Used to feed him every 3 hours.

Let's wait for the "modern" troup to come after you.

That's Jumia's price. What is yours?

Does she know that every side chick plans to become the main chick?
Does she know that for a side chick to become main chick requires the retirement of the current main chick?
Does she know that the retirement of a main chick leaves the main chick as a dead hen?

Pity

I am not one to publicize incidences like this, but I know the power of Nairaland and I will appreciate it if the power of Nairaland can make this go viral.

This is the account of a muslim woman who with her family were kidnapped. They were kidnapped in the South. Somewhere after Akure. This is not random. The fact that the speaker knows of at least one other incidence like what she read means this is more widespread than we know, than we believe.

Please Nairaland. Help make this viral. Let THEM hear.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULxqbKJDO6Q


cc
Royalroy
Lalasticlala
Mynd44
Dominique
Ishlove

Maliqcious:
Buh She's wife to b? If U talking about someone value the relationship speaks for itself

Not necessarily. He said 10 things about the woman he is marrying. Ended with saying that he realises the woman doesn't care about material things. That she was willing to build him up. Her characteristics with concern to finance as a measure of a person's worth. That's what his post is about.

Now if he said 10 reasons why I am marrying this woman, that's a different thing. If he postwd all that as his reason for marrying her, then he can be called out for not valuing her beyond her ability to "provide" for him. But he said 10 things about the woman he is marrying.

iRepNaija1:
Most of you missed the point of these people's comments. They're questioning why all his reasons for why he's marrying this woman center around how much she's done for him, not about what he's done for her or how much he loves her. Let's be honest: a man who believes he's got a good woman, who is, most of the time financially stable, will go above and beyond to spoil her and make her feel loved and treasured. Even if he doesn't have money, he still puts in the effort to make her feel loved and treasured. That message was not conveyed in his post at all. He just sounds like a taker and her a giver. I don't care who you are: being assigned one role gets tiring and people grow resentful.

Bur his posts were not about their relationship. It's about the woman herself. "That's the kind of woman I am marrying"

liberalchick:
This is a beautiful thread, a break from the constant woman bashing.

You sound like a good, supportive, loving husband. Your wife is lucky to have you. My husband and I are 16 years together too. Married for 12, dated for 4.

Congratulations! Wishing you more beautiful years with your lovely wife.

Congratulations to you guys too.

bukatyne:


e-hugs to LewsTherin's lady. I always picture her as a posh elegant woman.

Congrats and plix send my anniversary cake here.

Marriage is dependent on how the two people in it want it.

Met in 100L (both of us were in 100L), dated/courted for 8yrs and married for 5yrs

It has been fun all the way.

I believe meeting early and growing into one another is key.

Nice. Very nice of you.

But you are a bad girl. Cos the picture I've always had of you is a young single lady. Classyand knowledgeable but young and single. Like 24 young. Now why is that, hmmm?

Confess now before I send you your cake

zed7:
Bottom line is you guys are just easy going folks and are lucky to have found each other. I can say the same for myself. Almost 10 years together, marriage and dating combined. We share similar characters with you guys but the only difference is, I have my money, my wife has her money but we all spend my money..
To be honest, she saves hers for us to use if have an emergency and are stranded. In laws are tricky. My siblings are all married and independent, she has a couple of younger ones who are students. Sometimes they want to come over for the hols, it used to bother me but now I'm used to it. They are responsible and don't cause any problems but I just don't like having people around. I have learnt to deal with it though, after all we are all family.
I will conclude that a good marriage all depends on the personalities of people involved. Some will marry easy going people and use the opportunity to exploit and oppress them. It's just luck.

Can I join in spending your money?

I don't think it's just luck. In your short paragraph you said "I have learnt to deal with it" and "now I'm used to it"

It's about compromise. You know what you want, what you like. But you are willing to give some of that up for what she wants, what she likes. I'll bet there are things she gives up for you too. That's just it. You both are working at making your marriage work.

I believe ALL marriages will work as long as both parties work at making it work. But as long as one or both parties are only interested in having their own way, OYO.

Damn. There really are people!

psylliumhusk1:
I have a few questions ,Congrats on these long and happy years amd cheers to many more.

Does chastity/ virginity have anything to do with the sucesss of your marriage?

Not in the least. I never considered it ab initio. I doubt she did too. In fact, I think she believed I had played the field before her (not true, by the way)

The only time it caused an argument was early on while we were dating. She had at first told me she was a virgin. Then one afternoon, she said she wasn't. And she wouldn't give any clear explanation or anything. That was what pissed me off. I mean, if you are going to tell me something, tell me. Stop sulking or behaving childishly. Eventually she said she was just trying to test me (she was a virgin). Women and tests! Well she learnt not to do silly things like tests and the sort with me. I am a very straight foward person. All my friends and family know that. I expected she would just take and leave at that. Afterall, she knew me for years before we became a couple.


I believe honesty is more important than virginity or chastity or whatever the heck it is called these days.


Oh and thanks, by the way.

Richy4:
If u really wanna talk, then lend people your wisdom and experience... u really have to tell us why you feel or think that your marriage is great... or I'm I asking way too much buddy?

Not at all. Like hundreds of Kung Fu movies teach us, when the student is ready, the master will appear.

Just kidding.

But jokes aside, there is so much I have learned from my 16 years. If I tried to start writing, it will just lead to bored reading. But you have given me a lead, and I will run with it.

Richy4:
Eg... When she starts talking none stop, what do u do?

Fortunately, she isn't the garrulous type. I am an introvert and so is she. The problem isn't her talking too much. The challenge we face is in no one talking at all! So we have to make conscious efforts to raise topics for discussion. Talk about the kids, talk about the business, talk about the guy we saw crossing the road in funny shoes, anything. It also doesn't help that we have widely different interests. But we try to find something to talk about.

If by talking non stop you mean nagging, fortunately for me, she doesn't nag. I have made it clear to her though that the easiest way to put a man's back up is to nag and complain unceasingly. She's a good woman. She does her best. On my part, I do my best to keep her from needing to complain.

Richy4:
When she says she doesn't feel like entering the kitchen to cook , What do you do?

Considering that we run a business together, I fully understand if and when she's tired from a stressful day. Mostly because I'll be stressed myself. That's what restaurants were created for. Any day we realise that no one is going to have the strength to do any cooking, we stop by some joint or the other and get take out.

There is more to this though. We decided before we got married that we will have no live-in help in our home. (my wish, by the way). So we tend to share chores. Early in the morning, while she's bathing the kids, I make breakfast and pack the kids lunches. Many evenings, I do dinner while she prepares the kids for bed. It's not cast in stone. Sometimes we choose to have what only she can prepare. I help where I can.

But if she is just feeling lazy about cooking, well, I'm a good cook myself. She also tends to cook in bulk and freeze it. So it can be as easy as bringing a pack of soup out and making eba. Or stew and I prepare yam or potatoes or something. And where I can't be bothered either, there's take out. Dominoes. Suya and garri. Bread and sardines. Boli and groundnuts. Options art plenteous. There is no need to make a big deal out of it.

Richy4:
How do you handle in laws issues and how does she handle her inlaw....

Now this one is a big deal. it can be a deal breaker if not handled properly. But we discussed this before we got married. Long and short, we decided that any issues concerning her family, she deals with it. Any issue concerning mine, I deal with it. But being the man of the house, it is almost always from my family that issues can arise. That's kind of like an African thing. So I set boundaries right from our dating days. If you have an issue with my lady, take it through me. If you think you can straight up bully her because she married your brother or son or whatever, be ready for my banana to fall on you. No joke. Within our first year, I head to tear eye for my elder sister. She didn't act out of malice, and I understand that. But she made my wife cry needlessly.

I guess I am fortunate in that my family is made up of basically sensible people in the first place. Her family respects me as well. So....

Richy4:
...how do u handle financial matters..etc.

Like with in-laws, we discussed this well before we got married. Heck we discussed quite a lot. 8 weeks of premarital counselling will bring up almost every possible issue in marriage and give us time to discus and agree and how to address these issues.

First off, there is no "my money", "her money", "your money" and what have you. We have "our money". We have a joint account for savings and major expenses. At first she ran the budget but over time it became clear I was better at that, so I run the budget now. The bulk of our money lies in accounts in my name - to which she has access to the debit cards and knows the PINs. For mobile apps, my finger print, her finger print can unlock the phone and the apps. We also discuss every expenditure with each other before making it - at least as much as we can. So far, the only time we have money issues is when there is a general shortage of funds in the first place. It then is no longer a thing of who spends for what but more of what do we have to spend for what. The kids are the biggest expense anyways so.....


I hope this helps.