₦airaland Forum

Akpos: daddy,daddy..
Papa akpos: will u shut
up
Akpos: but daddy....
(papa akpors cuts in)
Papa akpos: how many
times have i told u not
to talk while eating? Eat
ur food first and u will
tell me later
(after food)
Papa akpos: tell me
what u want to say
now
Akpos: forget it daddy
Papa akpos: will u tell
me now before i bounce
on u.
Akpos: u have already
eaten it
Papa Akpos: eaten
what?
Akpos: i saw a
cockroach in ur
food,thats what i
wanted to tell u

How many types of
coffee do we have in
Africa? Akpos: Two
types. Teacher: Very
Good! What are they?
Akpos: Koffi Anan &
Koffi Olomide

Teacher:Akpos defind
racism. Akpos: RACISM
is when you select your
white clothes to wash
first before the black
ones!

In a Grammar class : .
Teacher:- "HE does not
like girls" What is 'He' in
this
sentence. . ?? . . . . .Akpos
Gay. . . . !!!

TEACHER: If a person
from Nigeria is a
Nigerian, then what's a
person from Holland
called?.. AKPOS: Hollandia

Teacher:
What's the difference
between LOVE & LUST?
Akpos: Spelling!

Joba: Akpos, why are
you holding 'ROBB'?..
AKPOS: You said we are
going to ROB a bank
tonite.

TEACHER:Why do you
always see lightning
first and hear the
thunder later?
Akpos:Because your
eyes are in front of
your ears.

Mrs Femi got in class n
askd pupils 2 say da
nambas she wrote on
the board in words!
SHe wrote 888 n gave
dem a clue dat is-
eight hundred n eighty...
Shola jumpd 2 conclude
by sayn
eight. The teacher said-
Veri gud shola!
Teacher wrote 666 n
bola gav n
ansa s- Six hundred n
sixty six!
Teacher was enjoyin da
leson telling pupils
hw briliant dey were!
Dis went on and on until
he
wrote 111 n askd akpos
4 n ans Akpos ahhhh
Madam how can you
choose a simple
1 for me, Ah! Dats One
hundred and Onenty
One!

Akpos went into the
Bank of
America one day
carrying a bag of
money. He insists that
he must speak
with the President of
the bank to open
a savings account
because it's a lot of
money.
They finally got him into
the
president's office and
he asks akpos how
much he would like to
deposit. Akpos
says he has $165,000
and then
dumps it out of the bag
onto his desk.
The president was
surprised and of
course curious as to
how akpos came by
all this cash, so he asks
him. Akpos says, "I
make bets."
The president replies,
"Bets? What kind
of bets?" and he says,
"For example, I'll
bet you $25,000 that
your balls are
square."
"Ha!" says the
president,
"That's a stupid bet,
you can never
win that kind of bet."
Akpos
says, "So, would you like
to take my bet?"
"Sure," says the
president, "I'll bet
$25,000 that my
balls are not square!"
Akpos says, "OK, but
since there is a lot
of money involved is it
OK with you if I
bring my lawyer with
me tomorrow
at 10:00 AM to
witness?" "Sure," says
the president. That
night the president
got very
nervous about the
bet and spent a long
time in front of
a mirror checking his
balls, turning
from side to side, again
and again,
thoroughly checking
them out until he was
sure that there is no
way his balls
are square and that he
will win the
bet.
The next morning at 10
AM, Akpos appears
with his lawyer at
the president's office.
He introduces
the lawyer to the
president and
repeats the bet, that $
25,000 says the
president's balls are
square. The
president agrees with
the bet
again and Akpos asks
him to
drop his pants so they
can see. The
president does this.
Akpos
looks closely at his balls
and then
asks if he can feel
them. "Well, OK" says
the president, "$25 000
is a lot of
money, so I guess you
should be
absolutely sure
." Then he notices that
the lawyer is quietly
banging his
head against the wall
and he asks akpos,
"What
is wrong with your
lawyer?" he
replies, "Nothing, except
I bet him
$100,000 that
by 10 AM today I'd have
The Bank of
America's president's
balls in my hands!"

xynerise: Na sickness o. Na only imbeci'les dey get natural wet lips due to the saliva wey dey commot for thier mouth

lwkmd. . Na true talk o

Chiyung: Am the quiet type,I hardly talk much in public even inside. But naturaly I get guys attention I don't have to work hard about that and I don't wear bright colours often just to reduce their stares a little. But for attention I get it any time I want. My luck

share ur secret

ikekings: @number 1... So true... Most of our naija ladies have protruding tummy... The only ones without protruding tummy are the slim ones...

Na to dey chop isi ewu, nkwobi and bush meat come drink 5 bottles of gulder.. Na to chop dem sabi do... Tell some of them to workout u don become dia enemy be dat...

#word. . . Most of them jst eat to dry the guy's pocket, not knowing that they are doing themselve more harm than good

nekaa: I think I am none of the three o....

are u from mars?

1. The woman with the nicest
body. If your stomach sticks
out further than your
breasts, or your butt, you
have automatically been
disqualified. That is not
attractive. The winner will
always be the woman who is
fit/thin with either a large
and perky butt, or very
large br3asts. If the woman
is blessed to have both a
large butt and large br3ast
on a fit/thin frame, she will
triumph over the rest of the
women. more after cut
2. The most stylish woman.
Ladies, please be careful
with the way you dress.
There are ways to dress for
attention that will still show
people that you are a very
respectable woman.
Remember, when you are in a
group of women your main
goal is to be the FIRST one
to catch the man’s eye.
You have to be the first to
stand out, if you are not the
first to stand out, another
woman’s ONE eye catching
quality will outshine all that
you have to offer. Make sure
you are dressed nice from
head to toe. Also, dress in
BRIGHT colors. when men see bright
clothing, or shiny jewelry, it catches their eye. That’s
what you need, once you
catch eye, it’s up to you to
make it work.
3. The quiet one. If you are
outshined in dressing, if you
are outshined in beauty, if
you are outshined in body
type, you have to use your
WIT. You may think that the
best way would be to open
your mouth, and try and
over talk everyone else to
make sure that you get
attention. Sure, you’ll get
attention, but I guarantee
you it will not be the kind of
attention that you want.
When you are quiet, and I
mean QUIET. Say NOTHING.
When the guys are talking to
your friends. Act
uninterested. Make sure you
stay around the group. But
act uninterested, use your
eyes to catch eye contact
with the man you find
interesting. But have BLANK
stare. In fact, catch his eye.
Blink once or twice, with an
expressionless face. And I
PROMISE you, he will be
curious about you. Say
NOTHING. Your strength is in
your mystery. Everyone will
want to know about you.
Because you have not
readily displayed yourself.
Remember, your strength is
in your MYSTERY. He’ll know
you’re thinking something.
He won’t know WHAT. He
won’t know if you are
judging him. He won’t know if
you are admiring him. It is
important to keep your
expression BLANK. Make
sure that he cannot read
your emotions. Practice this
in the mirror before
attempting to use this tactic.
My question is, guys, is this
not true? you can add urs too.